Is a Dinner Jacket too much for a Cocktail Party?

[Doggy Darb]

Ladies and Gentlemen: My wife and I will be attending a cocktail party this summer at our friends' home. Vintage dress is known to be acceptable, but I am concerned that wearing a dinner jacket will perhaps exceed the formality of the host and hostess. What are your opinions on this matter?

 

[shindeco]

'Phone and ask the hostess (that's what the old etiquette books say to do)

 

[dhermann1]

I'm a think maybe not. A nice sport jacket, tie, etc. If you want to get spiffy, try the old linen or white slacks with double breasted navy blazer, club tie and spectators routine, if you have it.

 

[Canadian]

Sorry to chime in so late, but I'd wear a DJ if I was hosting, not attending. That way, anybody attending could wear anything from business dress through to a DJ and not look out of place.

When you host a cocktail party, by all means break out your best dinner jacket. Heck, consider a smoking jacket.


Thomas

 

[Marc Chevalier]

Shindeco's advice is perfect. Phone the host/ess and ask.


.

 

[Miss_Bella_Hell]

You're asking the wrong group if something is too much. It's too much in the way wearing vintage is too much. It's soooo right.

 

[Feraud]

You're asking the wrong group if something is too much. It's too much in the way wearing vintage is too much. It's soooo right.

Ha, ha right! This is the crowd that will recommend a top hat to a picnic. lol

 

[Edward]

By way of reflex, I would refer the gentleman to the quotation in my signature.... though with some thought put into it, I agree with the 'ask the hostess' route.

 

[Paisley]

Go ahead and wear it. You can always take it off.

 

[dhermann1]

Question

Are you thinking of wearing a white or black dinner jacket? I would discourage you from wearing a white dinner jacket slightly less than a black one.
But if you do wear it, don't take it off!
(Unless you get lucky heh heh. . .)

 

[David V]

You're asking the wrong group if something is too much. It's too much in the way wearing vintage is too much. It's soooo right.

Oh! I hardly think of a Dinner jacket as vintage.

 

[GBR]

There is a vast difference between "vintage" and wearing a dinner jacket - the are not equals at all.

Whilst phoning you host is one thing, he or she may be too polite to say no, yet you would turn up out dressing them and doubtless every other person present.

Wear some vintage day dress and save the dinner jacket to a dinner - dressing thus in private homes is very rare and certainly pre-organised.

 

[Doggy Darb]

I thank you all for your responses.

I am usually reluctant to inquire with the host and hostess on these matters, as not to suggest ignorance or to imply that I do not believe them to dress properly. However, on this occasion I believe that I must. I would be ashamed should I embarrass my hosts. Edit: GBR, I am inclined to agree with you.

Of course the jacket would be ivory, double-breasted. A gentleman, or even I, should never remove his jacket in proper company. If the evening is particularly hot, it is acceptable to remove your jacket only if the host does so.

The jacket is being made at this time, and I am anxious to wear it. This party will likely be my first opportunity to do so.

 

[Carlisle Blues]

I thank you all for your responses.

I am usually reluctant to inquire with the host and hostess on these matters, as not to suggest ignorance or to imply that I do not believe them to dress properly. However, on this occasion I believe that I must. I would be ashamed should I embarrass my hosts. Edit: GBR, I am inclined to agree with you.

Of course the jacket would be ivory, double-breasted. A gentleman, or even I, should never remove his jacket in proper company. If the evening is particularly hot, it is acceptable to remove your jacket only if the host does so.

The jacket is being made at this time, and I am anxious to wear it. This party will likely be my first opportunity to do so.

Hey Dude!!!!!!!!!!!! Loosen up it's a party!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Parties are fun..

 

[Orsini]

I hate to have anyone pass up a chance to wear evening semi-formal/black tie but unless the invitation says "black tie" or "black tie preferred" I would recommend not doing so. In the United States, calling the hostess to clarify the dress code is always appropriate so long as you do not hint too broadly that you would like an excuse to wear your vintage dinner suit...

 

[Not-Bogart13]

I am usually reluctant to inquire with the host and hostess on these matters, as not to suggest ignorance or to imply that I do not believe them to dress properly. However, on this occasion I believe that I must.

Of course the jacket would be ivory, double-breasted. A gentleman, or even I, should never remove his jacket in proper company. If the evening is particularly hot, it is acceptable to remove your jacket only if the host does so.

The jacket is being made at this time, and I am anxious to wear it. This party will likely be my first opportunity to do so.

I well understand your eagerness, and nothing stings more than having to wait for the right time to debut something so special.

However, the call is warranted. Rather than being overly specific, simply ask the host(ess) what level of dress. If the answer is too vague for you, mention examples. When in this situation, I might (and have) said; "When you say formal, do you mean suit and tie, or tux and tails?" or "By casual do you mean khaki's and a blazer, or jeans and a polo shirt?"
This sort of inquiry might feel awkward, but not as awkward as being the only man dressed for a wedding. Also, it cuts to heart of the matter while eliminating any temptation for the host to say 'yes' to anything in order to be polite.

 

[hatted]

Last month, I wore a suit & tie & fedora to my daughter's 8th grade graduation. Then I saw that everyone else was dressed way more casual (this is norcal after all), so I dumped my coat & tie in the car (I kept the hat because, well you know, it's a hat).

 

[Doggy Darb]

Last month, I wore a suit & tie & fedora to my daughter's 8th grade graduation. Then I saw that everyone else was dressed way more casual (this is norcal after all), so I dumped my coat & tie in the car (I kept the hat because, well you know, it's a hat).

I have experienced similar situations. There was a "ball" that I attended under the impression that formal cloths were required. Believing it to be black tie, I was shocked to find that formal referred to a range of cloths including tuxedos (very few in number) as well as the always appropriate blazer and no necktie. It is unfortunate that we feel uncomfortable when we are the only ones dressed for the occasion.

You have advised me well. I will speak with the hostess; keeping my fingers crossed. Thank you all.