Indiana Jones V

[Zombie_61]

Since when did porn movies have plots ?

Oh, right. I should have said it sounds like the set up for a porn movie. Or a bad joke. "The seven dwarfs and Megan Fox walk into a bar..."

 

[resortes805]

Any new Indiana Jones film from Disney will follow their new Star Wars juggernaut template: replicate enough of the original feeling/plot points closely enough to please the vast majority of the audience and make a bundle... but disappoint more discerning fans with how uninspired and Xerox-like it is.

Pretty much sums up what happened with the Last Crusade.

 

[Zombie_61]

Any new Indiana Jones film from Disney will follow their new Star Wars juggernaut template: replicate enough of the original feeling/plot points closely enough to please the vast majority of the audience and make a bundle... but disappoint more discerning fans with how uninspired and Xerox-like it is.

Part of the problem for us "discerning" fans is that these franchises are nearly as old as we are. Star Wars is a 39-year-old franchise, and Indiana Jones isn't far behind at 35. So, like Paramount's semi-recent reboot of it's 50-year-old Star Trek franchise, Disney isn't as interested in keeping we older fans happy as they are in creating the next generation(s) of fans that will keep these franchises going for another 35-40 years. And the mentality is, "Don't take a risk on something new, stick with what worked before; it should work again."

 

[Edward]

I don't so much mind a bit of a retread if they have to do it; it's introducing new, pointless, disneyfied stuff for the kiddies that worries me. I don't want to see Indiana Jones and the Phantom Menace.

 

[Lean'n'mean]

How does 'Indiana Jones & The Wonderful World Of Disney' grab ya ?

 

[Frunobulax]

Indiana Jones Meets The Shaggy Dog

Indiana Jones and That Darn Cat

or better

Indiana Jones and the Sorcerer's Apprentice

That one could actually work. Indy encounter's an amateur magician that can't control his/her powers well and they have some sort of adventure where the apprentice "comes of age" and bedevils Indy, but in the end become allies.

"Mops...why did it have to be mops..."

 

[Lean'n'mean]

or better

Indiana Jones and the Sorcerer's Apprentice

That one could actually work. Indy encounter's an amateur magician that can't control his/her powers well and they have some sort of adventure where the apprentice "comes of age" and bedevils Indy, but in the end become allies.

"Mops...why did it have to be mops..."

You could be onto a winner there

 

[Tiki Tom]

You could be onto a winner there

(Tiki Tom grabs his fedora and whip and skulks out of the room muttering "fortune and glory, kid. Fortune and glory.")

 

[Frunobulax]

You could be onto a winner there

I'll start drafting the screenplay today!

 

[LizzieMaine]

That sound more like the plot to a porn movie than an Indiana Jones adventure.

"Indiana Jones and the Pizza Deliveryman."

 

[Zombie_61]

I don't so much mind a bit of a retread if they have to do it; it's introducing new, pointless, disneyfied stuff for the kiddies that worries me. I don't want to see Indiana Jones and the Phantom Menace.

That was a concern I had before Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens opened. I still think BB-8 is a little too "cutesy", but at least he doesn't look like any of the droids Disney created for their Star Tours ride. And I'm fairly certain the people involved are aware of this concern among the fans of both franchises, and are doing what they can to maintain/preserve the legacies of both. Besides, Disney has their own projects that they can Disneyfy to their heart's content.

"Indiana Jones and the Pizza Deliveryman."

"Hey, Dr. Jones, no time for love."

 

[Benny Holiday]

Nah I got it all worked out, the next script starts here . . . Old Indy, who has more freakin' injuries than you can count from decades of being punched, kicked, dragged under/behind various motor vehicles, surviving plane wrecks and generally abusing his body, is confined to finally getting around to actually studying all the stuff he's found in tombs and ancient sites of interest over the years. In the bowels of his old University he finds one of his earliest discoveries, an ancient Babylonian stela covered in cuneiform writing no one has been able to decipher. He sets to work, comparing the ancient writing with other texts, until he realises it contains one of the most valuable formulae in known history: the secret of Colonel Sanders' eleven secret herbs and spices.

Using alien technology from the Crystal Skull adventure, Indy travels back in time to confront the Colonel, who's actually a reborn Mesopotamian high priest/former sandal salesman/part-time con artist. From Kentucky to Utah, Indy searches for Harland Sanders' original recipe, the one before George Lucas irrevocably altered the mix into a CGI-laden version of its former self while scouting film locations in Alabama in the 1980s. All the while, the Colonel does everything in his power to thwart Indy, until a young Indiana Jones appears (enter new actor to continue franchise) to help old Indy battle the Maverick tie-wearing villain. Only at the end of the movie do our heroes discover that the Colonel hasn't been deep frying chicken at all, but alien creatures like Jar Jar Binks who were frozen in a radiation-proof refrigerator (again from the Crystal Skull) hidden underneath the Colonel's ancient ziggurat in Babylon. The Indys defeat the Colonel, and the older Indy is sucked back to the modern world through a trans-dimensional vortex, to discover that Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) is now called KFFAFL (Kentucky Friend Alien Frogs Legs) and is massively popular in France.

Man, it's a hit I tells ya!

 

[Lean'n'mean]

^^^^^
Although it would be a great opportunity for product placement I can't see the storyline convincing the public.................everyone knows that KFC's " eleven secret herbs & spices " are synthesized in a laboratory & that they use genetically modified chooks pumped full of hormones & anti-biotics. ........one thing the " Indy" flics have always had, is credible scripts & believeble characters.

 

[LizzieMaine]

The sad thing is, if Harland Sanders himself were alive today, he'd have jumped at a chance to play himself in that movie. He spent the last half of his life playing the role of "The Colonel," and was a very talented actor.

 

[MisterCairo]

Disney isn't as interested in keeping we older fans happy as they are in creating the next generation(s) of fans that will keep these franchises going for another 35-40 years.

Is it surprising that businesses look to create new markets?

Have you known a business to stay in business catering only to its current customers? Been to a Studebaker car dealership recently?

It's hardly surprising they're "re-booting" older series. How long will a 77 year old Harrison Ford be 77? I'm guessing twelve months, and several of those have passed.

I can see an argument for leaving what's done done - i.e., no more Indy films.

But if there are to be more, and that seems to be the case, then a "new" angle needs to be found.

And "Indiana Jones and the Last Gasp" won't put bums in theatre seats...

 

[ColoradoWalt]

Give it a couple of years and we can have a perpetually young Harrison Ford CGI...

 

[oak1971]

Or, just have him die at the start of the picture and regenerate into a new young actor. After all, Indiana Jones *is* a Doctor.

If the latest Star Wars is any guide, he will die. That much is sure.

 

[MisterCairo]

If the latest Star Wars is any guide, he will die. That much is sure.

Indiana Jones and the Open Casket Wake...

 

[Benny Holiday]

Young actor Anthony Ingruber doing a Harrison Ford-as-Han Solo impression. He looks and sounds the part.

 

[Tiki Tom]

Anthony Ingruber is spot-on with those facial expressions. Well done.

Here is some proof that Megan Fox at least lurks at the Fedora Lounge. Some time ago I mentioned her by name on this Indiana Jone's 5 thread...

All good ideas. But I was thinking along the lines that, in the 1970s or 80s, old Indy discovers an evil nazi scientist in Brazil (Dr Mengele?) who has invented a time machine and wants to go back to 1939 to give Hitler the plans to the atom bomb at the beginning of the war and rewrite history. Needless to say, Indy jumps into the time machine at the very last minute. And since they are in Brazil, they are naturally near the fountain of youth... Where Mary Poppins is swimming in a skimpy bikini and is being played by Megan Fox... And then the Daleks show up...

Now, voila!, Megan Fox is saying she wants to be the next Indiana Jones. (Mary Poppins in a bikini didn't work for her, and I don't blame her.)

http://movieweb.com/megan-fox-indiana-jones-reboot/

I can't help but think she got the idea here. (Hi, Ms Fox!, if you are reading this!)

P.S. -- Be sure to watch the video at the bottom of the article. Humorous.