If he's a Retrosexual, what are the Ladies?

[Fletch]

Does the retrosexual perhaps imply the Time Warp Wife as his opposite number? The girly-girl who (domestically speaking) dominates through submission?

FL discussion on Time Warp Wives

 

[bunnyb.gal]

That's nice. I'm a Hungarian. What?? Sexagenaria is not a country???





Never Mind. :eusa_doh: lol :eusa_clap

No, but Transsexual Transylvania is...

 

[Mr Vim]

Time Warp dance... oi Rocky Horror.

 

[Mr Vim]

To be honest, I would like to hear what more of the ladies think about this term and its usage. As I am not a lady, I will now promptly shut up.

 

[ClassicMan1966]

I think classicsexual is a better term than retrosexual IMHO.

 

[bunnyb.gal]

I just find the terminology a bit clunky and odd. I mean, hetero-, homo-, bi-, a-, I get. Even tri-, as in the old joke. There is an object to the sexuality in question. But the metro-and retro- are just way too media-speak for me.

I guess "aficionado of classic style" isn't quite as catchy, though. [huh]

 

[shortbow]

Gingerella, you've been reading my mail. Well said, and thank you.:eusa_clap

 

[MaryDeluxe]

I've never liked being labeled so I'll just stick to individual...I'm an individualist with my own style...[huh]

 

[Story]

always with the sex you people!!

Not that there's anything wrong with that...

 

[LordBest]

I think I'll just stick with "Chap" or "Young Fogey".

 

[Redwoodjedi]

To me, it is not so much being individualistic as it is being visually respectful to your community and society in general. You are a visual burden and an abomination when your rise is around your kneecaps or some filthy waif is showing a "whale-tail" or "muffin top" trashily accentuated with some filthy inked up Tramp Stamp to gain the attention of my eye. I look, not because of an attraction but more of a psychological factor that same of which can be found in the circus' of old when there were the Freak Show tents. It's like a traffic accident, really. It's hard to avert one's eyes. Don't take this as positive attention. I find you an abberation and a societal burden.

Be honest with yourself. When you get up in the morning, the first few, brief minutes in front of the mirror are you dressing for you. The rest of the day, you have dressed for us. And in this day and age when it is very difficult to tell the difference between the gutter trash with the cardboard sign reading "Will do nothing for food and money" and what is "Chic" or "Hip", it is that much more vitally important to raise the standard of acceptability and the bar of visual tolerance just a bit higher me thinks.

I don't buy into economic status excuses either. I have gone through thrift stores and walked out with entire outfits for 15 bucks or less that being trousers, shirt, coat and tie and sometimes a hat. Mental lethargy and hygienic laziness are no excuse either. I don't want to shoulder your poor self-esteem or bad self image. I do not want the responsibility of bearing the burden of your excuses for looking and acting like crap. Grow up! There is no such thing as an air of entitlement. You are entitled to squat! Work for it!:rage:

I am grossly generalizing probably when I say that people who dress like trash, tend to act like trash and vice versa with the opposite end of the spectrum. Think me a snob? So be it. I have two teenaged daughters that see society daily portraying themselves as "Pimps", "Whores" and "Thugs". I find this a major Red Flag and highly symptomatic of a failing society on the brink of revolution and ruin.

Just my 2 cents USD.

RJ

 

[Jack Scorpion]

Sad, but one day our kids will have to visit museums
To see what a lady looks like
So if you find one, I beg of you, hold her tight
Yes, if you spot one, good sir, treat her right

-Andre 3000

I think metrosexual is not gender-specific. But "hep kitty" can be used where appropriate as well.

 

[4spurs]

Labels are for soup cans.

 

[Miss Sis]

A return to actually being LADIES would be nice.

I just love the saying: 'That Woman is not a Lady!'

So I'm happy to be a Lady.

 

[BoPeep]

When I hear "metrosexual," I conjure an image of a young-ish, waif-ish, waxed, manicured, (hair) gelled man - yes, it's gender specific for me. "Retrosexual" does not conjure this same young-ish, waif-ish, waxed, manicured man in vintage clothing. In my opinion "metrosexual" is very era specific and doesn't transition into any other decade. And "retrosexual" isn't a term that's used in my vocabulary at all.

And as a lady, the label of "pin-up" will do nicely.

 

[miss_elise]

I think I'd just like to be a lady

 

[Shangas]

A friend of mine found this and thought I should read it. I present it for general readership of the Lounge at large:

The Retrosexual Code:

http://www.radical-conservative.org/retrosexual.html

 

[SGT Rocket]

To me, it is not so much being individualistic as it is being visually respectful to your community and society in general. You are a visual burden and an abomination when your rise is around your kneecaps or some filthy waif is showing a "whale-tail" or "muffin top" trashily accentuated with some filthy inked up Tramp Stamp to gain the attention of my eye. I look, not because of an attraction but more of a psychological factor that same of which can be found in the circus' of old when there were the Freak Show tents. It's like a traffic accident, really. It's hard to avert one's eyes. Don't take this as positive attention. I find you an abberation and a societal burden.

Be honest with yourself. When you get up in the morning, the first few, brief minutes in front of the mirror are you dressing for you. The rest of the day, you have dressed for us. And in this day and age when it is very difficult to tell the difference between the gutter trash with the cardboard sign reading "Will do nothing for food and money" and what is "Chic" or "Hip", it is that much more vitally important to raise the standard of acceptability and the bar of visual tolerance just a bit higher me thinks.

I don't buy into economic status excuses either. I have gone through thrift stores and walked out with entire outfits for 15 bucks or less that being trousers, shirt, coat and tie and sometimes a hat. Mental lethargy and hygienic laziness are no excuse either. I don't want to shoulder your poor self-esteem or bad self image. I do not want the responsibility of bearing the burden of your excuses for looking and acting like crap. Grow up! There is no such thing as an air of entitlement. You are entitled to squat! Work for it!:rage:

I am grossly generalizing probably when I say that people who dress like trash, tend to act like trash and vice versa with the opposite end of the spectrum. Think me a snob? So be it. I have two teenaged daughters that see society daily portraying themselves as "Pimps", "Whores" and "Thugs". I find this a major Red Flag and highly symptomatic of a failing society on the brink of revolution and ruin.

Just my 2 cents USD.

RJ

WOW, tell us how you really feel.

I must admit that I agree with almost every word you said.

 

[SGT Rocket]

ok, ok

RedwoodJedi inspired me to find an article online that I read some time ago. I'm Jewish, and it's is a good overview of the Jewish view on modesty in dress.

It is sort of on topic of the "retrosexual" thread, but it more speaks to what RedwoodJedi mentioned. Basically, your clothes should try to portray the inner you. However, I think many people wear clothes of the person they "want" to be. Or, how they want others to see them.

Anyway, the article is much more eloquent that I am so I'm pasting the "money quote" if you will below. If you would like to read that article in that's entirety I'll post the link at the bottom.

Also a caveat, this isn't how all Jews feel (just me). You know there is an old saying~ "Two Jews, three opinions."

If this is too off topic, please feel free to delete or move. I do think it resonates with the subject though because it speaks about clothing and what we want to say with it, and what others "hear" when they see our clothing.

Wow, I'm very tired, excuse my rambling, it's been a long day.

THE JEWISH VIEW OF MODESTY, DRESS, AND CLOTHING

"Reflected Images

What we often fail to realize is that the message of clothing is directed not only outward, to others, but also inward. What you wear powerfully affects how you see yourself.

Let's digress for a moment to the topic of style. Whether consciously or unconsciously chosen, your style of dress creates an impression of yourself in your own mind. For instance, I have a friend who got all dressed up to take her comprehensive exams for her Master's degree. When I jokingly asked her if she had a date with her professor, she replied, "Remember the book 'Dress for Success'? Looking my best helps give me the confidence I'm going to need to ace those exams."

I myself once read a book called "How to Marry the Rich" (just for fun anyway, I was already married). The author advises aspiring gold diggers to make a habit of entering exclusive boutiques and trying on the most expensive clothing available. The logic is that by repeatedly experiencing yourself in $1,000 dresses or suits, you'll come to see yourself as rich -- which will in turn give you the air necessary to successfully mingle with and meet millionaires.

Once, a participant in a program I was teaching in took issue with me, hotly denying any connection between his attire and his self-image. This guy "happened" to be wearing a faded T-shirt, torn jeans, and running shoes, as well as a beard and ponytail. So I told him, "Okay, if your appearance means nothing to you, come back tomorrow with a short haircut, clean-shaven, and in a three-piece suit." He stuttered and stammered, made a weak attempt at defending himself, and then sheepishly conceded the point.

All in all, when you put on clothes, you simultaneously put on a self-image. You can probably think of clothes you would never wear, even in the privacy of your own bedroom, simply because they're "not you." Indeed, the defensiveness, and even outright hostility, I often encounter when talking about the Jewish approach to dress testifies to how intensely our self-image is bound up with what we wear. People intuitively recognize that reconsidering their wardrobe ultimately means reconsidering who they want to be.
Public Arena

Despite the significance of style to self-image, however, the central issue in tzniut is not whether to dress rich or poor, earthy or businesslike. The important choice is whether to draw attention to who you are on the outside -- your body -- or the inside -- your being. You can dress any way you like, as long as you radiate the message that you are first and foremost not a body but a person.

When you enter the public arena, the impact of your dress on your self-image is compounded. First, others naturally respond to the statement you appear to be making. Stating "conventional" with a pinstriped suit and tie, for example, will get one kind of response, while broadcasting "unconventional" with Turkish pants and six or seven earrings will get another. More importantly, clothing which proclaims "body" will attract a response very different from clothing which projects "internal being."

This social feedback, particularly if positive, then cycles back into your self-image. Perceiving yourself more strongly in a particular light, you are now even more likely to dress the same way again. Sociologists call this "symbolic interactions": how you see yourself, how you dress, and how others respond to you create a spiral in which each reinforces the other, propelling you more and more strongly in a certain direction.

Of course, it helps to defend yourself. If, when whistled at by construction workers, a woman closes her eyes and recites, "I am a spiritual being, I am a spiritual being," she stands a better chance of surviving the experience with her selfhood intact than if she lives for such attention. But supposed clarity about your inner worth ("I know who I am no matter what") does not make you immune to how others relate to you. Simply put, it is naive to believe that repeated assaults -- even subtle ones -- won't slowly but surely erode a deeper sense of self. Social feedback is a major contributor to your self image.
Community Norms

Just as an individual's attire makes a "self-statement," a community's standards of dress make a collective statement about how its members unconsciously view and value themselves. Because we're conditioned to accept dressing a certain way as "normal," we usually can't identify the collective statement made by our own society -- until we step out of it.

When we were first married, my husband and I lived in the Old City of Jerusalem. Constantly barraged by tourists in all kinds of apparel, I maintained most of the immunity to minimally attired people I had acquired during my pre-religious life. Later, however, we moved to our present neighborhood, where it's unusual to see a person dressed "immodestly." One day, two or three years after our move, I was standing outside our building when a sports car pulled up and a couple got out. He had on skin-tight pants and a shirt unbuttoned halfway down his chest; she was sporting a low-cut blouse, a cling miniskirt, and spike heels. I looked at them, and my spontaneous, uncensored reaction was, "I don't get it. What's he trying to prove -- and why is she dressed like a streetwalker?"

Immediately I was startled and ashamed. How could I have thought such terrible things about two people I didn't even know? And why, after a lifetime of exposure to similarly dressed people, only now? Suddenly I realized that I'd once unconsciously accepted as "normal" men and (especially) women presenting themselves physically. After a few years of living among people whose dress reflected a deeper sense of self, I'd internalized a different norm. With an almost childlike innocence, I simply couldn't understand why these people would want to advertise themselves as bodies. What to them and their society was a normal mode of self-presentation, was to me like a neon sign flashing, "Objectify me!"

This couple, were they to be delivering a paper on neurosurgery at a medical convention, would undoubtedly dress differently. Yet it is in everyday living that most of our self-image is formed. In asking us to cover more of our bodies than the surrounding society demands, Judaism is saying that presenting ourselves primarily as minds and souls shouldn't be reserved for the odd occasion. Working, shopping, studying, socializing -- in our daily lives, spiritual self-definition should be the norm."

http://www.simpletoremember.com/articles/a/modesty/

 

[Paisley]

I think some people aren't aware of what they're conveying with their clothes.