I had a fight with my wife tonight....

[rue]

If I am not the only one chuckling then it was a rousing success!
Thank you!

You're welcome

 

[rue]

I didn't really think it was funny only because as a humor piece it just wasn't very well-written.

The "she said" portion was a little too wordy and the "he said" part was too brief that halfway through it I totally lost interest and didn't even get to the punch line, which at any rate, was buried under all the verbosity. I think the former could have been a bit more succinct and the latter could have used a little more amplification while still conveying the intended imagery.

You crack me up V.C. lol

 

[LizzieMaine]

For what it's worth, a joke almost identical to this one showed up in the "Post Scripts" section of the Saturday Evening Post in 1930. I don't have the exact copy right in front of me, but it went something like this:

SHE: Hello, Margaret? This is Anne. You're well I hope? Oh, fine, fine, Tom has a touch of the grippe, but we expect he'll be up and around again soon. What? Oh, no, no, he caught it from that big Swede down at the plant, his wife won't let him stay home when he's sick. Isn't that ridiculous? Well, they have nine children, and she doesn't want them all to catch it, I guess. Better to send him to work and infect half the machine shop. Right. So, about luncheon tomorrow? Did you decide yet on Schrafft's or Child's? No, I don't think they serve that aspic salad at Schrafft's on Tuesdays. No, I think that was Child's. No, no, I'm sure of it, remember? We were there with Dorothy Sullivan, and you know how she is about those Napoleons for dessert, she won't have anything but Child's, and you can't get those at Schrafft's. Right. So, Child's then? Oh, I don't know, do you think she'll be there? I couldn't look her in the eye after what Tom said to that husband of hers at the club dinner. No, his lip went down fine, but if you look close you can still see a scar. I can't imagine what I'd say to her if she was there. I know she used to go on Tuesdays, but does she still? Maybe we should try Schrafft's after all, they have those lovely finger sandwiches, you like those, don't you. Very well then, Schrafft's it is. When? I have to visit Mother at eleven, but I should be free around oneish? No, the trolley goes right by there at quarter of one, if I don't miss it I should be able to make it on time. Mind you, I swear that motorman never winds his watch. No, he was late the last four times, remember? That rainy day last April, we stood on the sidewalk for twenty minutes and he didn't even apologize, and that man in the check suit stepped on your foot? Right, and he got what was coming to him, ha ha ha. Pity about your umbrella though, I thought the color went so well with your coat. So oneish? One fifteen then, that'll be fine, I'll have a chance to make an appointment at Lillian's for my wave. Oh, they have this girl there now who's an absolute marvel. Oh, I know how you feel, only a man knows how to do a woman's hair, but you really must try here. Isobel, her name is -- only she spells it with a "Y". "Y-S-O-B-E-L." Ha ha ha, I know, can you imagine? But she really is very good. All right then, Tuesday at quarter past one at Schrafft's, unless something comes up. We could always go to Child's if it's busy. Very well then, love to all of you. Bye-bye!"

HE: "Frank? Tom. Lunch? Tuesday. Whyte's. One? One-fifteen. All right. Good-Bye."

 

[Flicka]

Can some body please opine on "how much better the world was back in the day before women and ethnics got uppity"? I'm that one square away from a full house in Fedora Lounge Bingo.....

"Biggest problem in the world today are all those uppity Swedish women. Never used to be like that. Back in the day, you never saw them except when they were naked in films. Now, they're all over the internet. This is what happens when you give blonde women fibre, and education and... What's wrong with being naked, anyway?"

I'm counting on you to share the prize money with me.

 

[Marc Chevalier]

.
Time for "Mommy, Mommy" jokes.


Kid: "Mommy, Mommy! I don't wanna see Daddy again!"

Mom: "Shut up and keep digging!"



Kid: "Mommy! Mommy! I don't wanna have to eat spaghetti again!"

Mom: "Shut up or I'll pull out your other vein!"



Kid: "Mommy! Mommy! I don't wanna run in circles anymore!"

Mom: "Shut up,or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!"



Ah, humor.

 

[Rudie]

And now for something completely different...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2P86C-1x3o

 

[Flicka]

.
Time for "Mommy, Mommy" jokes.


Kid: "Mommy, Mommy! I don't wanna see Daddy again!"

Mom: "Shut up and keep digging!"



Kid: "Mommy! Mommy! I don't wanna have to eat spaghetti again!"

Mom: "Shut up or I'll pull out your other vein!"



Kid: "Mommy! Mommy! I don't wanna run in circles anymore!"

Mom: "Shut up,or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!"



Ah, humor.

Oh, those... I had forgotten those.

"Mommy, Mommy, Grandma smells!"
"Shut up, and close the oven door!"

 

[Marc Chevalier]

Oh, those... I had forgotten those.

"Mommy, Mommy, Grandma smells!"
"Shut up, and close the oven door!"

Kid: "Mommy! Mommy! Why is daddy running away?"

Mom: "Shut up and hand me the other shotgun!"



Kid: "Mommy! Mommy! Daddy's on fire!"

Mom: "Shut up and get me the barbecue sauce!"

 

[casper]

Mind you it's not only those pesky female Swedes......it's those flippin' Canadians too.

Mind you the little blonde bimbo here is definitely a sterotypical ''type'' as she lovingly looks up to her big strong butch man. As for those pesky Mounties well I'll be blowed....why do women get married in white then? They match the other domestic appliances......enjoy....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_n7y_j_nbBg&feature=related

Casper

 

[DJH]

The lumberjack sketch is one of my all time favorite Monty Pythons - along with the famous Norwegian Blue parrot of course!

 

[LizzieMaine]

I am offended by the continuing stereotype of men being lazy, unemotional, beer-swilling dunces who like sex, food, things that go fast, and things that go boom. This is a pretty recent stereotype too.

Indeed it is. It doesn't really go back much further in popular culture than the 70s and 80s -- the legacy of "Animal House" style meathead comedy and the generation that grew up on it. There were shiftless-drunk stereotypes before that, but they were more the Otis Campbell stumbling-village-rummy caricature or the jug-swilling Snuffy Smith hillbilly image -- and they weren't applied to men in general.

The stereotype of women as clinging-vine whining emotional co-dependants constantly fretting about their relationships is relatively modern as well. There were elements of this in radio soap operas and romance fiction in the 30s and 40s, but most of the heroines of those stories were actually rather strong-willed characters, who took action to achieve their goals, rather than sitting on the couch sobbing desperately into a pillow over their boyfriends. I think you can trace the modern stereotype to the daytime-TV psychobabble talk shows and the "what's wrong with YOUR relationship?" magazine quizzes that have dominated so-called "women's culture" since the '80s. The big difference here is that these stereotypes were created and are pushed for purely commercial reasons, rather than being stereotypes that grew up on their own.

 

[LoveMyHats2]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IV1zul2aCM8 "one of these days, Alice"....

 

[LizzieMaine]

Ralph Kramden wasn't anything like the modern male lunkhead stereotype, though. He was a regular working-class guy, kind of a blowhard, but basically a decent man -- he's actually a pretty realistic representation of a certain type of man in his generation. And you never saw him drunk, or slavering over a half-dressed woman. He wouldn't have ever thought of cheating on Alice, and no matter what he blustered about doing, he never *ever* would have hit her. Alice knew that, and so did the audience.

 

[rene_writer]

but most of the heroines of those stories were actually rather strong-willed characters

I just saw It Happened One Night for the first time not too long ago and I was impressed by that in Claudette Colbert's character. She was tough, but not like the modern heroines who are all bark and no bite, trying to prove a point*. She meant what she said and at no point was she shown as over-emotional or weak. It was so unlike our modern perceptions of women "back then" were like. It just goes to prove the point people have always been people with all the diversity that would suggest.

*By that I don't mean ALL modern heroines. It is just a popular cliche.

 

[LizzieMaine]

but most of the heroines of those stories were actually rather strong-willed characters

I just saw It Happened One Night for the first time not too long ago and I was impressed by that in Claudette Colbert's character. She was tough, but not like the modern heroines who are all bark and no bite, trying to prove a point*. She meant what she said and at no point was she shown as over-emotional or weak. It was so unlike our modern perceptions of women "back then" were like. It just goes to prove the point people have always been people with all the diversity that would suggest.

*By that I don't mean ALL modern heroines. It is just a popular cliche.

For that matter, you'd be hard-pressed to find a single major female character in 1930's popular culture who was in the modern whiny mold. The women of thirties films and radio were decidedly independent -- probably the quintessential thirties heroine was none other than Scarlett O'Hara, who for all her eyefluttering and "fiddle dee dee" and all the rest of the Southern Belle palaver, was one of the toughest, most hard-boiled women ever to come out of popular fiction. Ain't fittin' for a woman to run a lumberyard? Don't make me laugh. Sure, she whined and pined over Ashley Wilkes, but it never kept her from doing what she wanted, when she wanted.

The stereotype of the darling-little-compliant Golden Era wifey is largely a creation of advertising, and even at the time it was seen as something of a joke.

 

[Amy Jeanne]

If this is meant to be gender stereotypical, I'm apparently not a woman, nor have I ever dated a man.

Interesting.

Me, too.

My husband and I are NOTHING like this.

 

[ButteMT61]

Are jokes supposed to represent all of us all the time? Jeepers. There's hurtful jokes and those based in some % of what we see and are as humans. I rather enjoy them - but it doesn't mean they're all funny

 

[Justin B]

Your friend sounds highly insecure Justin B

Assuming you have no interest in your friends girl, you could make it very clear that she holds no attraction for you, indeed if you have a girl friend well, that should solve that particular problem; if you don't have a girl friend obtain a willing female accomplice and make sure he sees you and she looking suitably intimate together so he has no worries. :eeek:

Casper

We're friends, that's it. She works three days a week in my office. She's sweet, but honestly if I had to live with her there might be an unfortunate drowning. (That's a joke people.)

Now that is a sad deal...however, if this person wants you to "pay a price" for activity you are not actually doing, (i.e. snorking around for his Gal), then geezo whiz bang, go for it! I would, (if I were single)!

Snorking, heh! Good word.

Is it you he doesn't trust, or is that merely a comfortable projection of his mistrust of her?

The answer is he is very insecure about the relationship, though he really shouldn't be. I don't think it's that he doesn't trust me or her, but more himself. I'm a naturally confident person and I think he sees that as a failing in himself and projects a worse case scenario in his head.

I dunno...I dislike the drama. Back to my Huge TV in the "Mancave". (That's another joke.)

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

Oddly though, women are not the only ones who think this way. A friend of mine is firmly convinced that I am going to steal his girlfriend (who works in my office) at any given moment. I think we're going to have to have a serious "talk" in the near future as it's starting to get on my nerves.

As granddad used to say, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Al Jolson -- Now He's Got A Beautiful Girl (1916)

[video=youtube;DLbMoLA7AXk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLbMoLA7AXk[/video]

Every boy in town but little Billy Brown
Went with a beautiful girl
He's the only one who didn't have a Hon
And he was down in the world
One of the fellows got angry one day
Introduced Billy to his little Mae
That day he glanced at her
That night he danced with her
And then he stole her away

Now he's got a beautiful girl
But he's worried to death all the time
He stays home from work every day
He's afraid they'll steal her away
Now he's found her. Now he's found her
He would like to build a little fence around her
He will say to every turkey trotter keep away'
But that's the way he got her
Now he's got a beautiful girl
But he's worried to death all the time

Quite a large amount of Billy's bank account
Went to buy candies and things
But he got a scare because a millionaire
Offered her nice diamond rings
Lately she's talking of automobiles
When Billy sees one you'll know he feels
He couldn't buy a Ford, when they go out, oh Lord
They walk on four rubber heels.

Now he's got a beautiful girl
But he's worried to death all the time
He stays home from work every day
He's afraid they'll steal her away
Now he's found her. Now he's found her
He would like to build a little fence around her
On the square he's such a jealous laddie
He don't dare to introduce his Daddy
Now he's got a beautiful girl
But he's worried to death all the time

 

[casper]

I find myself agreeing with Lizzie, I never dreamed this little joke would cause so much problem. I think Lizzie has nailed it again, because behind the stereotypes are real people and the strong female has thankfully been a common element in our culture for years. Mind you tell a Brit that Margaret Thatcher was a great Prime Minister and you'd have half the room disagreeing vehemently! Meryl Streep portrayed Thatcher in her recent film ''The Iron lady'' portrays a strong independent woman and Streep got an Oscar for the piece.

Absolutely women were strong minded in the 1930s and 40s. Women in the UK were forced to take on roles outside the norm through war. Women on motorcycles and women hauling up barrage balloons and even women flying Spitfires (albeit they only delivered them from the makers to front line fighter aerodromes). Like Lizzie says it is not one dimensional and 'flat', just think of those fesity women actresses of the 1930s, was it Katherine Hepburn the strong and fiery actress who died at the grand old age of 96 , she to a degree, broke a lot of moulds about the gentle retiring wall flower - but in Hollywood the real Hollywood that stereotype didn't exist, by and large.

As far as the joken I posted, well i never realised it would create such a discussion, but I'm happy with that fact and happy to debate 'behind the joke' so to speak, but equally I would encourage folk to chill out and relax and take it for at face value to a large extent......and breathe out....and......laugh

Casper

Here is a quote from Wikipedia about the strong minded Hepburn......


Post script - QUOTE: ''Hepburn was born in Hartford, Connecticut, on May 12, 1907, the second of six children. Her parents were Katharine Martha Houghton (1878–1951), a feminist who headed the Connecticut Woman Suffrage Association and later fought for birth control with Margaret Sanger and Thomas Norval Hepburn (1879–1962), a urologist at Hartford Hospital. Katharine Martha instilled in her daughter the virtues of perseverance, independence, and fortitude. As a child, Hepburn joined her mother on several "Votes For Women" demonstrations.Thomas Hepburn helped establish the New England Social Hygiene Association, which aimed to educate the public about venereal disease. The Hepburn children were raised to exercise freedom of speech and encouraged to think and debate on any topic they wished. Her parents were criticized by the community for their progressive views, which stimulated Hepburn to fight against barriers she encountered. Hepburn said she realized from a young age that she was the product of "two very remarkable parents", and credited her upbringing with providing the foundation for her success.She remained close to her family throughout her life.''