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How to handle yard/estate sale thugs?

PrettySquareGal

I'll Lock Up
Messages
4,003
Location
New England
Four years later, and nothing has changed, but I have.

I was waiting to get into a sale this morning when a dealer arrived. I have always been pleasant to her despite the fact that she is not nice. I suggested to her that we knock on the door and I did. I asked very nicely if we could go in early and the lady let us in.

This dealer started her grabby grabby stuff, but she didn't cross my path...yet. I asked if there was anything else for sale, and she said "downstairs." The dealer ran ahead of me and then once we were downstairs she blocked the doorway as she was looking around.

"Excuse me," I said.

She finally moved.

I went to one side of the basement, she went to the other. I saw two boxes of items I wanted to buy, and I asked the seller how much for both boxes. She gave me a price and I said OK. Just then the dealer came around behind me and TOOK THE CONTENTS IN THE SECOND BOX.

"Excuse me, I am buying those."

"Oh no you're not. You have your box there. You didn't see these."

???????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Yes I did. I told her I want everything here."

At that point, the seller said nothing, and I was trying to decide if I was going to let it go.

No. I'm tired of it. I don't stoop to their level but this was ridiculous.

"You know" (I said to the seller) "I don't feel good about this. I told you I wanted to buy both boxes and you gave me the price."

"Yes" the seller said looking at the dealer. "She's right. Can I have that?"

Oh boy. The dealer handed it to her and went berserk. She told me she was sick of people like me, made a false accusation, and just went nuts.

"You don't have the right to make false accusations. You know nothing about me."

She continued on rambling about how awful I am.

"I don't get it. I've been nothing but nice to you."

"It's people like you who are too nice that I never trust!"

I handed her the boxes.

"Here. Seems like you need this more than I do."

She wouldn't take them at that point, nor did I think she would.

I paid and left.
 

PrettySquareGal

I'll Lock Up
Messages
4,003
Location
New England
When you let someone get away with this business it empowers them for the next time.
It is not stooping to their level to speak up for yourself.

Right. :)

Some of them are like animals, though and respond to diplomacy with vulgarities. Sometimes it's really not worth it or the people are too nutty.

But this time, enough.
 

ThemThereEyes

One of the Regulars
Messages
246
Location
Arkham
Four years later, and nothing has changed, but I have.

I was waiting to get into a sale this morning when a dealer arrived. I have always been pleasant to her despite the fact that she is not nice. I suggested to her that we knock on the door and I did. I asked very nicely if we could go in early and the lady let us in.

This dealer started her grabby grabby stuff, but she didn't cross my path...yet. I asked if there was anything else for sale, and she said "downstairs." The dealer ran ahead of me and then once we were downstairs she blocked the doorway as she was looking around.

"Excuse me," I said.

She finally moved.

I went to one side of the basement, she went to the other. I saw two boxes of items I wanted to buy, and I asked the seller how much for both boxes. She gave me a price and I said OK. Just then the dealer came around behind me and TOOK THE CONTENTS IN THE SECOND BOX.

"Excuse me, I am buying those."

"Oh no you're not. You have your box there. You didn't see these."

???????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Yes I did. I told her I want everything here."

At that point, the seller said nothing, and I was trying to decide if I was going to let it go.

No. I'm tired of it. I don't stoop to their level but this was ridiculous.

"You know" (I said to the seller) "I don't feel good about this. I told you I wanted to buy both boxes and you gave me the price."

"Yes" the seller said looking at the dealer. "She's right. Can I have that?"

Oh boy. The dealer handed it to her and went berserk. She told me she was sick of people like me, made a false accusation, and just went nuts.

"You don't have the right to make false accusations. You know nothing about me."

She continued on rambling about how awful I am.

"I don't get it. I've been nothing but nice to you."

"It's people like you who are too nice that I never trust!"

I handed her the boxes.

"Here. Seems like you need this more than I do."

She wouldn't take them at that point, nor did I think she would.

I paid and left.
I am sorry that that happened to you, and for everyone else that has had to put up with nasty nuggets such as these thugs. However, I'm glad that you were able to handle it and hope this woman leaves you alone. The seller really should've said something when the woman picked up your box.
I would laugh at the silliness of her accusing you of being in the wrong, but it's not so funny. I work retail and have had too many instances of crazy sense of entitlement.
Just one example: when the big cosmetics companies settled that lawsuit with a give away, the store I was at had the lineup at the Lancome counter. Many of those people would go store to store and come get in line again. One man in particular, who had already been through twice, got very abusive towards one of the girls assigned to handing out the items, when they didn't have any more of the choice he wanted. He cussed her and called her names. Terrible.
 
Last edited:

Shangas

I'll Lock Up
Messages
6,116
Location
Melbourne, Australia
Some people are just bitches. Ignore them. Or put up a fight. Either is all they deserve. Personally, if someone that coarse were to start up with me, I'd be perfectly willing, and prepared, to give it to them right back to see if they enjoy it as much as they seem to do. And I wouldn't feel bad about doing it, either.

Fortunately, I haven't had cause to do that.
 

SHOWSOMECLASS

A-List Customer
Messages
440
Location
Des Moines, Iowa
My pet peave which has virtually ended my yard sale and estate shopping is the following. The ad says "no early sales or no early birds". So I think, even playing field and show up early the day of the sale.
Upon the start of the sale I say where are the antiques you advertised.
They seller then replies, well someone stopped by yesterday when I was pricing items and purchased most of the antiques.
So I say, "what you are really saying is: you sold the quality items to a early buyer"?!
The seller then says, "not at all , I still have these old soda bottles and mason jars they are antique too".
AAAAAAAHHHHhhhhh just shoot me in the head!
 

PrettySquareGal

I'll Lock Up
Messages
4,003
Location
New England
My pet peave which has virtually ended my yard sale and estate shopping is the following. The ad says "no early sales or no early birds". So I think, even playing field and show up early the day of the sale.
Upon the start of the sale I say where are the antiques you advertised.
They seller then replies, well someone stopped by yesterday when I was pricing items and purchased most of the antiques.
So I say, "what you are really saying is: you sold the quality items to a early buyer"?!
The seller then says, "not at all , I still have these old soda bottles and mason jars they are antique too".
AAAAAAAHHHHhhhhh just shoot me in the head!

Same story here! Every weekend!
 

PrettySquareGal

I'll Lock Up
Messages
4,003
Location
New England
I am sorry that that happened to you, and for everyone else that has had to put up with nasty nuggets such as these thugs. However, I'm glad that you were able to handle it and hope this woman leaves you alone. The seller really should've said something when the woman picked up your box.
I would laugh at the silliness of her accusing you of being in the wrong, but it's not so funny. I work retail and have had too many instances of crazy sense of entitlement.
Just one example: when the big cosmetics companies settled that lawsuit with a give away, the store I was at had the lineup at the Lancome counter. Many of those people would go store to store and come get in line again. One man in particular, who had already been through twice, got very abusive towards one of the girls assigned to handing out the items, when they didn't have any more of the choice he wanted. He cussed her and called her names. Terrible.

Thank you!

When I see her next, which I will because she is a regular, I will ignore her.

What's with people?
 

sheeplady

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
Messages
4,479
Location
Shenandoah Valley, Virginia, USA
Thank you!

When I see her next, which I will because she is a regular, I will ignore her.

What's with people?

I have to say that despite a few really nice dealers I know and have met in person, a portion are incredibly rude. So rude one wonders how they get any business. I'm not even talking about them acting like they know something they don't and then being rude when you share your expertise, I'm talking about cussing you out or calling people names (stupid, idiot) if they ask a price on something and you decline to buy it.

I don't know, maybe it is where I live or something. I live really close to an area called "antiques alley" ion my state (which at one time had the highest number of dealers on a stretch of road in the country). I won't even go into some of the stores anymore. I can handle people's B.S. and being snappy, but you don't have to outright rude.

As far as people being rude at auctions, sales, and such, in the early 80s my father bought something at an auction and a man came over and wanted to buy it from him. When my father refused to sell it, the man began calling my mother really rude things. My father walked away, but if we hadn't been with him, the guy would have been on the ground. Sadly, that wasn't the first time that had happened to my father at an auction and before he had a wife and kid he got into a couple fights started by other people, typically because they were upset that my father bought and/or bid on something.
 

Shangas

I'll Lock Up
Messages
6,116
Location
Melbourne, Australia
It's simply the whole "ME ME ME ME ME!!!!!" society we live in these days. It's this sense of entitlement that EVERYONE has.

My parents are not the best in the world. And I don't think anyone could truly say that their parents are, or ever were the best in the world. But one thing my dad taught me was that not everything revolves around you. And that you can't have everything you want. You might get everything you want, but you won't always get it when you want it. And if you can't, there's no point crying and bitching about it.

This has nothing to do with flea-markets and sales, but this thread reminded me of another in a forum I used to frequent several years back.

Some of you *may* remember in the news a few years ago, a story about a man who lost his violin. It went like this...

This musician had the perhaps once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to play on a Stradivarius violin. For those who don't know, Stradivari violins are the MOST valuable violins in the world. Centuries old and worth millions of dollars.

Anyway, this guy lost the violin! He left it in a taxicab and forgot about it! In a COMPLETE panic, he had no idea what to do! The violin wasn't his, it was loaned to him in good faith. Fortunately, human kindness prevailed upon him, and the cab-driver tracked him down to return him the violin. The musician thanked him by giving him tickets to his latest performance.

Now here comes the hair-pulling bit.

I posted a link to the original news-story on this forum that I mentioned further up...and the first PAGE at LEAST, of responses, were all...

"He returns a world-famous violin and ALL HE GETS ARE TICKETS!?!?!? How come he doesn't get any MONEY!?"

I can't tell you how sick I felt.

As one respondent put it: "Gosh. I can't imagine how you all [other posters] would feel if the man gave the cab-driver *NOTHING*!"

Which is true. The man tried to show his appreciation in the only way he could think. And yet, others condemn him for not giving the cab-driver more!

It absolutely sickened me that this is the first response of almost everyone in the world today, if that thread was any indication. I was legitimately and completely appalled that people should think like that.

And that goes back to what I was saying: These days, all people think about is themselves. What's in it for ME? What can *I* get out of it? We've all become so self-centered and self-obsessed, so 'don't-get-involved-and-don't-care-about-anything, anybody-but-me'. Where has all this come from? I never understood. And that feeds, if you'll excuse me, into the litigious society that we have today. People sue anyone and everyone for anything and everything, just to get SOMETHING, when the action for which the lawsuit is filed is SO trivial.

I need to crawl back into my hole and recover, now. Wake me up when the world reverts to a more caring and loving planet...
 

Sharpsburg

One of the Regulars
Messages
240
Location
Maryland
I have looked for treasures at the local Salv Army and other thrifts for years, but the last few years has seen a real invasion of pickers and hoarders. Some can be really aggressive and LOTS of local "antiques" dealers seem to be getting their stock from Goodwill. It has become rather unpleasant sometimes and I don't really go as much. There are a few who make me really sad because they seem to be there every time i go and they grab up carts full of kind of cheap "cute" stuff, so you have to assume they are hoarders, not dealers. It's all become too dog-eat-dog for me.
 

tealseal

A-List Customer
Messages
380
Location
Tucson, AZ
.... I need to crawl back into my hole and recover, now. Wake me up when the world reverts to a more caring and loving planet...
Sorry to say, Shangas, but I hope you can sleep a long, long time. I think you're waiting for a train that won't ever come.
 

HardBoiledMarlowe

One of the Regulars
Messages
218
Location
Idaho
I attend estate/yard sales and go to thrift stores regularly in my town and have witnessed only one dealer free-for-all.

After going to several yard sales with no luck, I decided to stop at one of the local thrift shops, thinking they had opened an hour earlier in the day. As it turned out, I arrived 10 minutes before the doors opened and observed a mass of local dealers (the same people I see at nearly every estate sale in town) hovering around the door. The employee who unlocked the doors did so quickly and dashed away. In a flash, the group attempted to squeeze through the doorway all at once, all the while shoving and elbowing each other. Once inside, they disappeared from my line of sight quickly as they sprinted to the back of the store where all the hard goods are kept. It definitely was a shocking sight to behold, as I'm not used to seeing this kind of behavior around here. The cashier told me it's a daily occurrence.

I always see items in antique/consignment shops that I have previously spotted at yard sales or thrift stores. I think it's particularly noticeable because I live in a relatively small city. While it is annoying, and I've watched dealers snatch up some cool stuff, I have also discovered that we are typically shopping for different kinds of things. I still find a good amount of mid-century stuff around here, but not much clothing anymore.
 

MikeBravo

One Too Many
Messages
1,301
Location
Melbourne, Australia
If they are mean and petty, I would be the same

Follow them back to their car when they take their ill-gotten gains back. When they return to the market, let their car tyres down. You might have to wait a week before you get an opportunity.

It's what they deserve even if it is childish and mean . Stuff 'em
 

1961MJS

My Mail is Forwarded Here
Messages
3,370
Location
Norman Oklahoma
Hi

All of this dealer stuff is new to me. When I lived in Wichita, my Mother-In-Law would have occasional garage sales. We always had a sign up saying all sales were final because at least twice during the sale, someone would buy a $1.00 object, drive off, get a price tag and put $50.00 or so on it, and try to return it for $50.00.

We also always had one or more of the money folders counting the edges of the dollar bills.

Later
 

Noirblack

One of the Regulars
Messages
199
Location
Toronto
If they are mean and petty, I would be the same

Follow them back to their car when they take their ill-gotten gains back. When they return to the market, let their car tyres down. You might have to wait a week before you get an opportunity.

It's what they deserve even if it is childish and mean . Stuff 'em

You say these people are being mean and petty, and that in turn a person should be mean and petty toward them. If your response to this behaviour is mean and petty, you are actually condoning their behaviour by your actions. Plus you are operating on the idea that two wrongs make a right.

You are also encouraging people to commit acts of vandalism.

I'd say that if attending these sales is a trying experience then it isn't worth going to them.
 

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