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How to handle a less desirable gift

patrick1987

One of the Regulars
Messages
295
Location
Rochester
I don't understand that last sentence. Gosh I don't mean I have ever refused a gift, I havent but you have to wonder at the thought of someone dashing into the supermarket, dollar store or their basement and then shoving the object at you for you to accept. Would their feelings really be hurt? I am not going to find out, I accept it. Even the bracelet lol . The soiled doily, the plastic flower, the mug with teabags...someone said these are presents from strangers.
 

fortworthgal

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,646
Location
Panther City
My husband's parents are notorious for horrible gifts. I could run through a list of atrocities, but for the sake of space (and my sanity) I will only mention a few examples: For our wedding we received one XL white t-shirt with some type of fishing slogan on it, in a crumped paper bag. For one of my husband's birthdays his parents gave him a plastic Incredible Hulk toy skateboard, about 8" long - maybe for a GI Joe doll? He doesn't even like Incredible Hulk! We're still trying to figure that one out. His parents are not cash-poor and we usually give them specific items when they ask what we need/want, so there is really no excuse. One year he asked for a very specific item from a specific store - not even an expensive item, around $20 - and instead he was given a cheap plastic toy substitute from the dollar store. I knew this would happen, so fortunately I had bought the item he actually wanted as a backup.

Honestly, we are just resigned to it. Receiving a gift is nice, yes. And yes, it is the thought that counts, but quite honestly, it is obvious that some gifts have little to no thought involved. A gift is supposed to be something nice, it doesn't have to cost a lot, but why give something that is completely thoughtless? I'm sorry if that sounds ungrateful to anyone. The worst part is that my husband's sister usually receives very lavish gifts in the hundreds of dollars, while my husband receives toy plastic skateboards.

I have received bad gifts from other people. One year a friend gave me a Dreamsicles resin angel head, which is TOTALLY not my thing. I was gracious and thanked her, because she probably thought it was a nice item that I would appreciate. I actually did hang it in my bathroom for a while, then it was relegated to a closet, and many years later, a garage sale. In any normal situation I would just say thank you and be gracious.
 

Paisley

I'll Lock Up
Messages
5,439
Location
Indianapolis
patrick1987 said:
I don't understand that last sentence.
I meant that if someone (other than my parents) refused to accept a gift from me, I'd stop giving them gifts.

patrick1987 said:
Gosh I don't mean I have ever refused a gift, I havent but you have to wonder at the thought of someone dashing into the supermarket, dollar store or their basement and then shoving the object at you for you to accept. Would their feelings really be hurt? I am not going to find out, I accept it. Even the bracelet lol . The soiled doily, the plastic flower, the mug with teabags...someone said these are presents from strangers.

I know it's confounding when someone gives you gifts that don't make any sense to you. Some people just aren't good at picking out gifts, that's all. And sometimes, even those who seem well-off are strapped for money and have to wrap up something from their basement. Anyway, I am happy to hear that you'll accept everyone's gifts. :eusa_clap
 

Paisley

I'll Lock Up
Messages
5,439
Location
Indianapolis
Try This

There is a website called gifts.com where you can input some information about a person and it will suggest some gifts. I tried this on myself. The site said I was the "domestic diva" and suggested several gifts. About half of them, I'd love to get; I wounldn't say "WTF" about any of them--much better odds than randomly choosing something. :)
 

Shimmy Sally

Registered User
Messages
447
Location
Ahwatukee, Arizona, USA
Lady Day said:
I pay attention to what people are saying, and give presents that may not be expensive, but can be kept for sentimental reasons.
See, that is how it's done, in my opinion. The gift I mentioned before wasn't really my style. The fact that he didn't even know what I like perturbed me as much as the rudeness of him making sure I knew how much he'd spent. I guess it's rude of me to post a complaint about it really.
I try to be tactful, but I often fail.
Well, Scotrace, at least you won't get an ulcer from holding your feelings inside... ;)
 

Barbigirl

Practically Family
Messages
915
Location
Issaquah, WA
The first Christmas I spent with my ex-husband's family I was completely shocked and horrified and the atrocious gift receiving behavior.

One of my brother in laws, opened a gift and the first thing out of his mouth was, "Where's the receipt?" And that was pretty much just the start. I have repressed the rest.

I was always taught to graciously accept a gift with thanks even if you are thinking, "where's the receipt?"

On the other hand, when I get a gift I love I run around the room doing impressions of Daffy Duck, "WHOO HOO WHOO HOOO WOO HOO!"
 

olive bleu

One Too Many
Messages
1,667
Location
Nova Scotia
scotrace said:
"Thanks a lot for this insensitive bit of codswallop you've dredged up from yet another downtown dumpster, you thoughtless thicky! "

??? no?


Yes, my Mother would really go for that. Nice tip.
 

olive bleu

One Too Many
Messages
1,667
Location
Nova Scotia
After years of accumulating kitty-cat earrings & teddy bear nighties from a mother who still thinks i am 16... I have , this year, devised a more PRO-ACTIVE tactic....

As i am moving this month( and have broken all my lamps) i told my mother that it would be really nice if , instead of presents, she just got me a gift certificate for a store where i saw some lamps i like.She thought this was a very sensible idea and agreed. Later that day, she came back, and said i should just tell which lamp i want & she will buy it. Voila! Good-bye kitty earrings..hello lamps!
 

IlsaLund

One of the Regulars
Messages
112
Location
Monterey, California
You know, I've honestly never gotten a bad gift. Well, except pneumonia. Does that count? [huh] Even still, I said "thanks."

I have received gifts with the price tags on them, which make me really uncomfortable. I usually act like I haven't seen it, then discreety remove it and stick it to something nearby.
 

olive bleu

One Too Many
Messages
1,667
Location
Nova Scotia
BegintheBeguine said:
lol lol If you happen to receive a lamp of a drunk at a lamppost, let me know. My mom and I are looking for one for me. lol lol

Now that sounds like a lamp that would fit in at my houselol lol lol
 

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