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How do you react to intrusive hat price questions and/or unwanted hat touchings?

Genuine Classic Gangster

One of the Regulars
Messages
163
Location
Canada
I have experienced both of the phenomenon listed in the thread title.

One gentleman asked me how much I paid for a VS that I have.

At first, I didn't see any harm in answering him truthfully, so I told him. His reaction was one of shock, and that made me regret that I had told him. Based on my answer, he thought I must be a loaded, high-roller to be able to spend that much money on a hat. My answer about the cost of my VS led to further, even-more-intrusive questions about my financial status, which is something that I would rather not have had to explain to that person in any way. On the other hand, I was doing work with that person, so I felt pressure to answer the questions honestly for the sake of being polite. If I had instead said in reply, "That is none of your business," I would have come across as rude, and probably would have made myself look bad to the agency I was working for. I suppose I could have said something like, "I am not comfortable with answering that," although even that seems like it would have led to me having and awkward working-relationship with the person who asked me about the cost of my hats.

That experience has taught me that in the future, perhaps I should not disclose the price tag of my hats. I dread thinking about how I'd be able to get a non-hat-fan to understand the price of Optimos, and the awkward questions that I'd have to navigate once I disclose what they are.

Therefore, my first question to you dear ladies and gentlemen, is: what does one do when a co-worker, or someone with whom you must handle social discourses with in a delicate way, asks you intrusive questions about the cost of your hats, and how you are able to afford them?

The second part of this post has to do with unwanted hat touchings. I have also had co-workers and friends graze their fingers across the brim of my hat, without first warning me or asking for my permission to touch. I do not hold any ill will against them, but on the other hand, I have absolutely no idea what their fingers might have been up to before they touched my brim. I would much rather have no one touch my hat ever, other than myself, unless I have personally vetted the condition of his of her hands immediately prior to the touching, and even then, I am not sure that I'd be okay with it.

Similarly, I have had women at social gatherings say, "Can I see your hat?" (meaning, can they hold my hat). I am certainly grateful for the attention that women sometimes pay to me and my hats; however, I'd rather not risk having their hands introduce strange germs or residues onto my hats, or having them drop my hat onto the ground or into the soup or into the punch bowl, or whatever else is around. After all, if that were to happen, and my hat were to get ruined, all I would get is a "I'm so sorry," and I'd be out-of-pocket for the cost of that ruined hat, and I'd also be out the time, energy, and sentimental value which I've invested into it.

My second question is: when someone asks to touch your hat, how does one not be rude or offensive, yet also make sure that his hat is never subjected to an unwanted touching?

My third question is: how does one stop unwanted touchings that occur suddenly and without any verbal warning at all? That is, how do you stop someone from randomly reaching out and touching your hat, if the toucher does not say anything before he or she does so?
 

daizawaguy

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,661
Location
Tokyo
1. Tell them its a gift
2. Tell them its private
3. I`m afraid you`ll have to carry a sign saying `don't touch`. But if someone touched my hat, I`d poke them hard and shout `Don't touch my hat`, or `I don't touch you, so don't touch me`. However, if it`s a women, seems like it could be a great opening line, (`Thanks for touching my beaver`) and I`d order another VS!
 
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Blackthorn

I'll Lock Up
Messages
4,567
Location
Oroville
I always answer their question with one of my own.

Them: How much did that cost?

Me: Why? (and I give them a cold stare)

And no, they can't touch my hat. I don't ask to touch their clothing.

I haven't had the third situation happen, but I'd react with indignation, I'm sure.
 

Atticus Finch

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,718
Location
Coastal North Carolina, USA
I make up things to tell them. If someone asks me a question that isn't their business I believe that it is perfectly fine to lie to them. So if they ask how much I paid for my Stetson I might tell them I inherited it from my Uncle Lyndon. Yes...THAT Lyndon. He was my mother's maternal uncle...or my father's cousin...or whatever.

AF
 

EliasRDA

One of the Regulars
Messages
193
Location
Oceanic Peninsula (DelMarVa) USA
ehh, it cost just enough or some other vague answer.

Considering my size both height & weight not too many people I associate with dare to touch my hats but then again I dont have a proper hat yet.
Plus I can do the glare quite effectively if needed, I dont have a nickname of the drill sgt for nothing.

And cant answer to unwanted touvh yet as I dont care if they touch my cheap wool crushable, I used to play tug of war with it and my neice when she was a lil thing. Yah yah cring worthy now but didnt know better then. [huh]
 

Monte

Practically Family
Messages
600
Location
North Dakota
If someone touches your hat...step on their shoe and say that they threw you off balance when they touched you without warning.
Maybe that will remind them of rule no. 1 and rule no. 2: (1) Don't touch someone's hat. (2) Don't step on someone's shoe.
 

Blackthorn

I'll Lock Up
Messages
4,567
Location
Oroville
If someone touches your hat...step on their shoe and say that they threw you off balance when they touched you without warning.
Maybe that will remind them of rule no. 1 and rule no. 2: (1) Don't touch someone's hat. (2) Don't step on someone's shoe.
Oh I like that, Monte.
 

Genuine Classic Gangster

One of the Regulars
Messages
163
Location
Canada
If someone touches your hat...step on their shoe and say that they threw you off balance when they touched you without warning.
Maybe that will remind them of rule no. 1 and rule no. 2: (1) Don't touch someone's hat. (2) Don't step on someone's shoe.

I concur with Blackthorn, that is great advice, thanks! I am so glad I made this thread. I was hoping that I would get some golden feedback such as that. :)

One question about that: can I still use that if myself and the toucher are both sitting down at the time when the incident occurs, or would that strain plausibility too much? If that cannot be used in sitting situations, what is the alternative solution?
 
Messages
10,930
Location
My mother's basement
I make up things to tell them. If someone asks me a question that isn't their business I believe that it is perfectly fine to lie to them. So if they ask how much I paid for my Stetson I might tell them I inherited it from my Uncle Lyndon. Yes...THAT Lyndon. He was my mother's maternal uncle...or my father's cousin...or whatever.

AF

Can't say that I've ever followed that strategy, but it sounds good to me.

Perhaps it would be best to tell a story that's just credible enough to leave the person wondering if you're pulling his or her leg. That way they'd have to think about it, and wonder if they'd been duped, and might therefore be reluctant to ask such questions in the future.

I mean, most people don't like to think of themselves as the sort who would fall for just any tale, right?
 

carldelo

One Too Many
Messages
1,568
Location
Astoria, NYC
Dear Abby had a standard answer for any rude and unwelcome inquiry: "what an interesting question, why do you ask?". In practice, it works extremely well, as people rarely have a reasonable response.

If a woman wants to try on my hat, I let her do it. It's happened, and it's been no big deal. But then, I'm not a germophobe.

For whatever reason, no one has ever grabbed my hat without asking, maybe it's a doesn't-happen-in-New-York thing.
 

Genuine Classic Gangster

One of the Regulars
Messages
163
Location
Canada
Dear Abby had a standard answer for any rude and unwelcome inquiry: "what an interesting question, why do you ask?". In practice, it works extremely well, as people rarely have a reasonable response.

If I employ that stratagem, and the other person's reply is, "I am just curious," what is my next play?
 

Rabbit

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,561
Location
Germany
1. I am not at liberty to divulge that information. (adding a nutty grin, like Marty Feldman would have done)
2. No, you can't. But you can have this card. (taking one of those like-hell-it's-yours hat cards from under the sweatband)
3. A quickly uttered uh-uh-uh is the only device that might fend off the attack on the poor hat.

Edit: I mean a hat card with the hatter's business address. If it's a woman, skip the card.

Edit 2: When people ask me "say, just how many hats DO you own?", I often reply: "More than I would care to admit".
It's a polite way of saying that you don't want others to know while at the same time acknowledging the inquirer, since the reply also means "you're very observant, I do own many hats".
The same could be applied to your question #1. By saying "More than I would care to admit" you show the inquirer the respect he deserves.
 
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TOuten2

Familiar Face
Messages
67
Location
North Carolina
For questions about price, I usually say I stumbled upon this hat while out minding my own business...unless it's the wife who asks...in that case I lie my @$$ off.

Never had anyone ask to touch my hat...that's just weird.

Tim
 

Florida_Marlin

One of the Regulars
Messages
238
Location
Georgia
If I know much about the person, I usually frame the cost reply it terms they can understand. For instance, I had a acquaintance one time ask me hat price while he was holding a Starbucks latte. I replied, I could buy one of these a month and it would be much,much less than a Starbucks a day. Or something like that. If I know the person is a golfer, hunter, fisherman, sports fanatic, etc, etc, I'll play off that. If I don't know, I'll answer " collecting hats is a reasonable hobby for a bald man, don't you think? What are some of your hobbies? It usually makes the point in a non offensive way.
 
Messages
15,077
Location
Buffalo, NY
Florida_Marlin, good thoughts.

I generally don't find a request to know how much a hat cost to be intrusive. The question is not really about the cost... it's a conversation device used by many men (very few women) to say "I'd really like to know more about this." I use it as an opportunity to talk about hats, which I am happy to do with just about anyone at a drop of a hat. The answer is almost always a modest amount, compared to the cost of shoes or jewelry or cars or telescopes.

If someone asked me to touch my hat (they rarely do) and their hands were clean, I would be happy to oblige. To feel a hat is to understand it and to understand why I am such a nut about the old ones.

I do have one dear friend who has, on more than one occasion, come up behind me at a party or event and taken my hat off my head in a gesture of impish affection. It does annoy me. I usually stifle the annoyance, smile and take it back.
 

Feraud

Bartender
Messages
17,190
Location
Hardlucksville, NY
The next time someone touches your hat reach into their pocket and grab their cellphone. Wave it around like a moron and make mock phone call/texting motions and see their reaction.
 

DOGMAN

One Too Many
Messages
1,625
Location
Northeast Ohio
1.I tell them the truth.I work hard for my money,and I'm not embarrassed about it.2.If they ask to touch my hat,I say sure if your hands are clean.3.No one has tried to touch my hat without asking.
 

TomS

One Too Many
Messages
1,202
Location
USA.
I usually answer honestly as to cost. I cant speak to the touching of my hat, as to date it hasn't happened.
 

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