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"Here's looking at you, kid" and what might get you slapped

Christy

One of the Regulars
Messages
239
Location
Southern Oregon
In general, I don't mind people addressing me as names such as sugar, doll, etc. I usually don't take offense.

There was only one time I was taken aback. I was 19 when this happened. I was completely lost in Sacramento and was trying to find my way back to the freeway. I stopped at a gas station to ask for directions and the cashier did not know how to get back to the freeway. However a very unkempt man overheard my plight and offered me directions, I was so grateful. He proceeded to follow me to my car and asked if I had a couple of dollars to spare. Because I just wanted out of Sacramento and he was helpful I gave him $5. As I was getting in my car he said, "Thank you. By the way baby girl, you're thicker than a snicker" and gave me a big smile. :eek: I assume this was his way of a compliment. I was so shocked, I sped away as fast as I could.
 

C-dot

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,908
Location
Toronto, Canada
Christy said:
As I was getting in my car he said, "Thank you. By the way baby girl, you're thicker than a snicker" and gave me a big smile. :eek:

What a disgusting man! He may think that's a compliment, but it's downright perverted.

One time on the subway, this intoxicated man shouted out that he could see all my "nooks and crannies" in my outfit (pencil skirt and sweater...?). I ignored him of course, but he started coming closer. He muttered something about "feeling around for some more" and stretched his hands out towards me. Since people around me were staring in disbelief and not helping, I balled up my fist and told him if he came any closer, he'd wish he'd never been born. He doubled over laughing and fell into a seat.
Thankfully the train was stopping, so I got off quickly and waited for the next one. This was around lunchtime, too!

People never cease to amaze me.
 

Christy

One of the Regulars
Messages
239
Location
Southern Oregon
I agree C-dot, he was disgusting. The guy you described sounded pretty disgusting also! Good for you for standing up to him. I would have gotten off the bus also.

VintageVixie, I'm not quite sure what it means either but I don't really want to know. Sacramento was a culture shock for me even though it's only about 5 hours south of me. I come from a small town.
 

Lincsong

I'll Lock Up
Messages
6,907
Location
Shining City on a Hill
A couple months ago I was talking to a girl who is half white half Japanese and I told her she was "a just the prettiest cherry blossom" and she got offended. She thought I was being racist. It turned out she grew up in Jersey and was teased a lot as a kid. :eek: I told her to forget about what those kids told her because they were just jealous because no matter how many trips to the plastic surgeon they'd never be as pretty as her. ;) She grinned and said; "you have an answer for everything, don't you?" :D Yes I do.
 

Widebrim

I'll Lock Up
Maguire said:
While i noticed this recently, i find that people in my day to day life do not like being called by their last names. I remember one of my former bosses corrected me, insisted on me using "george" rather than mr such and such, and if i referred to the customers by their last name rather than "hi how are you" or whatnot, they'd look at me funny. And while they all refer to me by my first name, i do find that annoying and would much rather be called mr. I don't know them, and i never gave them permission to refer to me in the familiar, but its impossible to really change that.

This seems to be a way of life in much of Los Angeles (especially among the middle-class), and it is something which I also do not often take a cotton to. (If the other person is much older than me, then I have no problem.) When I taught Hispanic children, their parents would always address me by señor or maestro, and I would reply with señor or señora. Now that I teach at a school largely populated by native English-speakers, almost every parent I meet introduces himself or herself by a first name. I remain Mr., because I find it more professional, and I think it reminds parents that I am their child's teacher, not the parents' "buddy." First name calling is especially annoying when some salesperson calls me on the phone and asks for me by my first name. I promptly say, "Yes, this is Mr...), and the other person quickly gets the picture. I am not against casualness in speech, but believe that it is my choice as to whether someone calls me by my first name. Once I've given the green light, I don't care if the other person is a 50 year-old attorney or a kid barely able to mutter a few lines...

What I also don't care for is when a person will call me just by my last name, with no Mister preceeding it. This happens every once in a while at my school, from a fellow staff member or two, and it grates on my nerves a bit. While acceptable in the armed forces, the trucking industry, and so forth, it is not so in everyday life, at least not to me. And I'm going to say this, knowing that I will incur the wrath of some, but I especially dislike it when a woman does so, because in my eyes it brings her down to the level of us men, who are often rather uncouth fellows!lol
 

C-dot

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,908
Location
Toronto, Canada
Widebrim said:
What I also don't care for is when a person will call me just by my last name, with no Mister preceding it. This happens every once in a while at my school, from a fellow staff member or two, and it grates on my nerves a bit. While acceptable in the armed forces, the trucking industry, and so forth, it is not so in everyday life, at least not to me. And I'm going to say this, knowing that I will incur the wrath of some, but I especially dislike it when a woman does so, because in my eyes it brings her down to the level of us men, who are often rather uncouth fellows!lol

I can see what you mean! lol (Not all men are uncouth though, especially not the Lounge gents.)

People have always called my brother and I by our last names. It doesn't matter if they are young, old, male or female. It turned into a nickname which stuck. I don't particularly like when acquaintances use my nickname, but whats the point in correcting them? I have in the past, and they've always thought me rude.

However my full last name, not preceded by Miss or Ms, is better to me than my first name straight off. Perhaps it's too informal, or because I don't like my first name. Miss is always nicer.

Once I get married I will not escape the nicknames either. My fiancé's name is Twitchen - Three guesses as to what he's called. He's in the Army, so it's okay for him... But what about me?!
 

Shirin

A-List Customer
Messages
468
Location
North Georgia
Tikismall said:
"you're just a baby", I hear this one a lot.
I get this one too. Its muttered by those who are usually 15+ years my senior.
I don't practice, even at work, to call people by their last name because everybody always introduced themselves by first name only.
The last time I called a woman Mam, she came back at me with "Mam?! excuse me but I am not that old". She was probably in her mid 40s. Now if I have to talk to a lady I don't know, I'll call her Miss, not Mam, no matter how old she is ( or appears).
 

Shirin

A-List Customer
Messages
468
Location
North Georgia
Marc Chevalier said:
What about "dollface"?

"Toots"?

"Kiddo"?


.

Dollface= Love it.
Toots= hate it, makes me think you're saying "Tits"
Kiddo= Cute, but would only like it in a casual greeting. This would not be my favorite nick name by any means.
 

Avalon

A-List Customer
Messages
364
Location
Long Island, NY
I call everybody honey and darling. Something I've always done, but I'll stop if asked. I have a good friend who calls me "dollface" and I think it's adorable. In general, if the terms are meant for endearment and not for belittling or misogyny I'm fine with 'em.
 

Tiller

Practically Family
Messages
637
Location
Upstate, New York
My current GF calls me boy, and I call her kid [huh].

Personally I think some people like being outraged for the sake of being outraged. Others seem more insulted by cute nicknames of a time gone by compared to actual insults. I can see a woman getting upset with being called a slut, but pretending to be equally upset by that as they would by being called "hun" or "sug" to me is ridiculous.[huh] Especially considering most people who call others hun aren't doing it out of malice, well someone calling you a slut is hardly trying to use it to be friendly.

I don't see the point in pretending that someone calling me "son" should bother me as much as someone calling me 'ba***rd". Yeah I'm not a child, and I'm only one persons "son", but most people I know who use the term aren't using it out of malice, or in a way to make it seem I'm on a lower level then they are.

Maybe I'm just in the minority though.
 

Paisley

I'll Lock Up
Messages
5,439
Location
Indianapolis
Shirin said:
The last time I called a woman Mam, she came back at me with "Mam?! excuse me but I am not that old". She was probably in her mid 40s.


:rolleyes: There's nothing to make you seem old like saying "I'm not that old!"
 

Undertow

My Mail is Forwarded Here
Messages
3,126
Location
Des Moines, IA, US
Christy said:
"Thank you. By the way baby girl, you're thicker than a snicker" and gave me a big smile. :eek: I assume this was his way of a compliment. I was so shocked, I sped away as fast as I could.

Well, I suppose this has no relation to Bill Murray and the Baby Ruth... :rolleyes:
 

Undertow

My Mail is Forwarded Here
Messages
3,126
Location
Des Moines, IA, US
I often call women 'kid' as a term of endearment. And on the other hand, I may call a woman 'sister' to express disatisfaction.

"Hey kid, how's things been?"

"Excuse me?! Kid? Get a life, fella!"

"Look sister, I don't know what your problem is, but I don't want any part of it!"
 

Roxy

Familiar Face
Messages
50
Location
Seattle, WA
LocktownDog said:
Yeah. My kid says "fat" is a good thing now. [huh] There are more derogatory terms that I won't post here that are used now as positive nicknames. I've already told him I won't hear that crap coming out of his mouth.

Not one of my favorite terms but I had it explained to me that Phat is supposed to be an acronym for "Pretty Hot And Tempting".
The things kids come up with these days. :rolleyes:
 

Roxy

Familiar Face
Messages
50
Location
Seattle, WA
Edward said:
I can't help but be reminded here of a quote I saw somewhere in relation to a girly film..... "That was the Summer of 1963, when everyone called me Baby and it didn't occur to me to mind." No idea what the film was, prsumably not one I've seen...

That movie was Dirty Dancing(1987). With Jennifer Grey and Patrick Swayze.
lol My little brother always called it a "girly" movie too. lol
 

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