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Had anyone ever been tempted to stop hat wearing?

avedwards

Call Me a Cab
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2,425
Location
London and Midlands, UK
As a result of continually being told how much I stick out in my hat and people telling me not to wear it I'm almost tempted to permanently put it in my wardrobe as a relic of the past. I'm not talking about comments from randomers on the street here, rather from one's friends or family.

In the summer I was forbidden from taking my hat when I went to London, as the person I was staying with didn't like it and left me no choice, since I don't like having bad blood with my host.

My mother continually gets irritated by me wearing my hat to go to my piano lesson, arguing that its unneccessary in the car and not needed just to go from the car to my piano teacher's front door (across the street from where we walk).

Newest, my friends are urging me not to wear my hat (or my greatcoat for that matter) tomorrow on a geography field trip since we will be in an economically deprived area and don't want to attract too much attention. That makes sense, but I intended to give the suit a miss and wear jeans and a shirt with my fedora.

And while my girlfriend and some of my other friends like my hat, they still agreed that I stick out of a crowd like a sore thumb. I always hoped to look comparatively inconspicuous in crowds in my fedora (considering how unusual they are), but if my hat can't do that I guess it may have outlived its life.

Constant criticism of my hat has made me tempted not to wear it anymore, except maybe at costumey events. I know hats are functional, but fedora isn't a must when in the rain as a Tilley can serve just as well.

Anyone else ever found this? What do you do about those close to you criticising your style when it happens? After all, witty comments aren't the right thing for friends and ignoring everyone is stupid as we dress nicely to look nice to others.
 

avedwards

Call Me a Cab
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2,425
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London and Midlands, UK
Senator Jack said:
After wearing fedoras on and off for the last 26 years or so, I'm mostly off again, but that's because all the squares are wearing them now. Once the squares get involved in anything, I'm out.
It's not so much others wearing it which bothers me. I quite like the fact that cloth stingy brim hats are coming into fashion as it means that I no longer stick out as much but I still look a bit different since I wear wider brimmed felt hats. Sadly though it seems that where I live no sort of brimmed headwear is fashionable, hence I'm coming close to being tempted to quit fedora wearing.
 

C-dot

Call Me a Cab
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2,908
Location
Toronto, Canada
I understand that people close to you can make comments that sting. I even started a thread on Mums and their nasty comments!

You're obviously a confident fellow to be wearing a unique style, period. If you ever stop wearing a hat, I'd urge you not to do it because of something someone else said - It doesn't matter who they are. Your friends and family question the appropriateness of a hat in todays world - Who doesn't? But like any level-headed gentleman, you know when it is appropriate and when it definitely is not, and you follow suit.

My fiancé gripes all the time about my red lipstick, but even he won't stop me from wearing it ;) If I were ever to give it up, it would be on my own terms.

Even when you aren't feeling confident, don't let anyone see - They'll break you down. Ultimately people should accept your quirks like they accept your personality, and if they don't... Well, too bad for them.

Stay strong!
 

C-dot

Call Me a Cab
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2,908
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Toronto, Canada
Marc Chevalier said:
You need to weigh your priorities. If, for instance, you conclude that wearing a fedora could hurt your chances at getting, keeping, or rising up in your profession, then stop wearing your fedora in the workplace. No hat is worth a job.

What you said! I was talking about personal life.

(I love how you see all sides of the coin, Marc :))
 

avedwards

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,425
Location
London and Midlands, UK
C-dot said:
I understand that people close to you can make comments that sting. I even started a thread on Mums and their nasty comments!

You're obviously a confident fellow to be wearing a unique style, period. If you ever stop wearing a hat, I'd urge you not to do it because of something someone else said - It doesn't matter who they are. Your friends and family question the appropriateness of a hat in todays world - Who doesn't? But like any level-headed gentleman, you know when it is appropriate and when it definitely is not, and you follow suit.

My fiancé gripes all the time about my red lipstick, but even he won't stop me from wearing it ;) If I were ever to give it up, it would be on my own terms.

Even when you aren't feeling confident, don't let anyone see - They'll break you down. Ultimately people should accept your quirks like they accept your personality, and if they don't... Well, too bad for them.

Stay strong!
Thank you for the kind words. I don't see myself not wearing my fedora unless it's for practical reasons (heat or extreme gales) in which case it would only be temporarily.

And I know my girlfriend liked my style as my hat was one of the main things which made her notice me in the first place.

I was just wondering as I was advised not to wear it tomorrow. However I fail to see how a fedora worn with jeans (I'm already compromising by not wearing slacks) would make be overly noticable or get me assaulted in an economically deprived area.
 

avedwards

Call Me a Cab
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2,425
Location
London and Midlands, UK
Marc Chevalier said:
You need to weigh your priorities. If, for instance, you conclude that wearing a fedora could hurt your chances at getting, keeping, or rising up in your profession, then stop wearing your fedora in the workplace. No hat is worth a job.


.
In my case I'm not yet working, and school is the only time the fedora sits out due to it not fitting in with the uniform. However a field trip requires no uniform and would therefore automatically mean fedora for me.

If I were in a job, I'd just take the fedora off indoors and wear it to and from work, which I doubt would hurt in any workplace.
 

Tomasso

Incurably Addicted
Messages
13,719
Location
USA
I wear felt hats and wool caps only in conjunction with outerwear (along with gloves and scarf), when the temp dips below 50°F or so. Straws come out with the warmer/sunnier climes but rarely with a suit, and if so in a casual setting. I really can't be concerned when something that I've been wearing for years gains sudden popularity; I just ignore it. Just about every item in my wardrobe has received its fifteen minutes, at some time or another. [huh]
 

ScionPI2005

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,335
Location
Seattle, Washington
Marc Chevalier said:
You need to weigh your priorities. If, for instance, you conclude that wearing a fedora could hurt your chances at getting, keeping, or rising up in your profession, then stop wearing your fedora in the workplace. No hat is worth a job.


.


This is true. However, in a perfect world, unless a hat were being worn in opposition to a required work uniform, or somehow interfered with the work or school being done, one's personal attire would not be made the business of the employer to decide job promotions/demotions etc.
 

Rundquist

A-List Customer
Messages
431
This is really a personal question that only you can answer. I usually always have the attitude of “F” other people; I wear whatever I want. But I can also sympathize with the idea of wanting to remain anonymous or at least not wanting to be hassled. It’s a shame that you can’t just wear what you want without being hassled.

I used to wear fedoras because I liked the way that they looked. At a certain point though, I started being identified as “the guy that wears hats”. I decided that I wanted to be identified for my actions and personality, rather than what I was wearing. Also, as much as I liked the way that they looked, fedoras were too hot for me in southern California.

Uh… glad I could not help.
 

Hemingway Jones

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
Messages
6,099
Location
Acton, Massachusetts
I tend to wear fedoras in the winter with my overcoats. I do it for me and don't really care what others do and don't think of it. Sometimes I don't feel like wearing them and I don't. It's all in my mood.
 

McFarlaneNYC

Familiar Face
Messages
57
Location
NYC
I am sorry to hear of your troubles Mr. Alan.
being in High school over here in the US, I share the same problems. No one looks twice at a fedora on the street, but someone from school starts wearing one all hell breaks loose. I get comments, nice and not nice left and right its the nature of school, nothing can be done there. as for an "economically depressed area" just wear it, your in a group I doubt anything will happen. I don't live in the nicest area of NYC, and what I wear does attract un-wanted attention on myself, but nothing major. as for family and friends not wanting you to wear it, thats a shame. you should just tell your friends "I respect the way you dress, all I ask is the same from you"

Charlie
 

David Conwill

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,854
Location
Bennington, VT 05201
I suspect a big part of the problem is your age: it doesn't quite look right for very young men (dare I say "boys"?) to wear what's traditionally been considered the clothing of grown men. The youth complex of western culture has gone so far that even supposedly grown men don't feel comfortable dressing that way!

Anyway, the point is that people pick up on the contradiction of a youth wearing a man's hat, and friction results because they suspect it's an affected look (though it very well may not be). My advice is to switch to cloth caps (still a youth-associated item, hence the term "newsboy cap") until you reach the age of 25 or so, and I think you'll find people far more accepting of the look.

-Dave
 

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