Feedback Etiquette?

[23SkidooWithYou]

I'm new to vintage so I'm bound to make some errors in judgement. If I goof on size or era or take a nose dive on condition, I take full responsibility and would never, and have never allowed it to color my seller feedback (which to this point has always been 100% positive).

Well, I just opened a package and I'm not thrilled. I purchased what was described as a 1950's dress in good condition. I'm no expert so I'm not challenging the era determination, nor am I challenging the condition. What I do have some concerns with is that the material is a sort a brushed, stretchy knit fabric. This was not revealed in the description, no fabric description was given. I hold myself accountable for not asking in advance (but do feel the seller could have volunteered that info).

My issue is that they stated that the dress was "priced to move and wouldn't last so grab it fast". Is it me, or does that not imply to most reasonable people some sort of value for the price relationship? Honestly, for this fabric (which is giving me a creepy 80's feel) I wouldn't have paid one cent more than I did, so I feel the sellers comment was misleading. Truthfully, had I known it was a stretch knit, I wouldn't have purchased it at all (and certainly not for what I did pay) but again, that's on me for not asking. (live and learn)

So, what's the proper thing to do? Should I just leave neutral feedback or should I contact the seller privately first? I don't see how contacting them will do any good because I'm not seeking a price adjustment, nor would I ask to return the item as it goes against the seller's policy and I feel partially responsible for not asking about the fabric. Is it wrong to just go ahead and leave feedback without talking or explaining to them first?

What's the right thing to do?

 

[PrettySquareGal]

Yes, I think it would be wrong to not contact them first to give them a chance to see if they can make the transaction mutually satisfactory.

I've been buying and selling on ebay since 2001 and it's the way I've always done it as a buyer, and appreciate it for buyers to do the same when I am the seller.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

I want to add that I don't think the seller did anything wrong if the only issue was that you weren't happy about the fabric which wasn't misrepresented by them. I wouldn't read that standard sales pitch as indicative of any details about the item. If it was me, I'd leave a positive which I've done before when I realized I read into something that wasn't really there.

 

[Paisley]

By your account, the seller didn't say anything misleading. "Priced to move" sounds like marketing jargon to me.

I'd contact the seller about returning the item.

 

[Carlisle Blues]

I think the right thing to do is contact the seller prior to posting feedback.

Submit your questions and await an answer prior giving feedback.

I suspect if the positions were reversed you would want want the same courtesy.

 

[23SkidooWithYou]

Thanks guys!

I really appreciate the perspective. I agree, and apologize if it wasn't clear in my original post, I don't think the seller inaccurately described the item. I just felt they omitted a detail that might have changed my mind to purchase or certainly would have made me view the price in light of the fabrication and as Paisely said, used some marketing jargon that I should be immune to by now. Again, my fault for not asking and for falling for a line. Like I said, live and learn.

I really hate to bother the seller because I'm not expecting and won't ask for any consideration regarding the purchase as I feel it was my responsibility to ask about fabric if it wasn't stated. I think I'm going to go back and read their other garment descriptions. If they also omit fabric details, then I will assume this seller just doesn't consider the information pertinant. That would make me feel a little better and I'll just have to live with the fact that I don't value the dress as the seller does and chalk it up to experience.

If I don't contact the seller, then I probably won't leave any feedback since I haven't given them an opportunity to address the situation. I would think that's at least a respectable and polite compromise.

 

[23SkidooWithYou]

If it was me, I'd leave a positive which I've done before when I realized I read into something that wasn't really there.

In that case, I'd rather leave no feedback at all. Even if I factor out what I read into the item via the sales jargon, I am still left with an item that I do not feel was worth the asking price. I don't think it's fair to expect a buyer to leave positive feedback in that case, anymore that it would be appropriate for me to leave negative feedback considering I failed to ask about the fabric in the first place. (which I wouldn't have left negative feedback anyway, because I don't feel it warranted negative, just perhaps a neutral rating)

I hope everyone understands that I do appreciate the importance of feedback and reputation. I won't discredit someone especially if I play a role in the confusion, which I've already admitted to.

Maybe the best thing is to just move on and only shop with sellers who give detailed descriptions. That's how I would list an item if I were selling so perhaps that's who I should stick with when I'm buying.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

In that case, I'd rather leave no feedback at all. Even if I factor out what I read into the item via the sales jargon, I am still left with an item that I do not feel was worth the asking price. I don't think it's fair to expect a buyer to leave positive feedback in that case, anymore that it would be appropriate for me to leave negative feedback considering I failed to ask about the fabric in the first place. (which I wouldn't have left negative feedback anyway, because I don't feel it warranted negative, just perhaps a neutral rating)

If I receive an item on ebay that is as described, shipped promptly and safely at a reasonable cost, then I leave positive feedback. I don't buy or bid on something unless I think it's worth the price I am paying. I don't attach meaning to standard vague sales pitches. That's my rationale.

 

[23SkidooWithYou]

I don't buy or bid on something unless I think it's worth the price I am paying.

...and I think you just hit my nail on the head. I would not have bought this at the asking price if I knew what the fabric was like beforehand because I don't feel it is worth what I paid. I would expect a maximum of half of what I paid if I resold it, if that. If I just didn't like the fabric but felt it was worth it, I wouldn't be asking for advice, they'd get positive for certain. I just don't think this garment would command this price with full disclosure.

So that's why I won't leave positive feedback.
But, because I'm the one who didn't ask what it was made of, I won't leave negative feedback either.

I might not be expressing myself as well as I should. Just so you know, my tone is meant to be friendly and I am not arguing at all. Actually, our views on feedback are pretty much the same. I have never left anything but 100% positive feedback for any item I've purchased, even if it didn't meet my expectations.

eg I have a gorgeous green velvet dress that is too tight at my ribs and I still can't zip it all the way. I was disappointed, BUT the dress is gorgeous, perfectly described in great detail by the seller and I still believe it is worth every penny even if I never get it zipped! I gave the seller a positive and the max # of stars across the board and I have and will shop with her again.

I have a floral print acrylic/nylon 60's blanket. It's pilling like crazy BUT it's exactly as described, keeps me warm, worth what I paid and the seller has no control over the wear factor of the fabric. I gave them full stars across the board.

That's why this was such a strange situation and I was unsure how to handle it. I really do appreciate the advice and respect the views expressed!

 

[miss_elise]

i leave positive feedback unless it is a truly awful experience...

 

[PrettySquareGal]

...and I think you just hit my nail on the head. I would not have bought this at the asking price if I knew what the fabric was like beforehand because I don't feel it is worth what I paid. I would expect a maximum of half of what I paid if I resold it, if that. If I just didn't like the fabric but felt it was worth it, I wouldn't be asking for advice, they'd get positive for certain. I just don't think this garment would command this price with full disclosure.

So that's why I won't leave positive feedback.
But, because I'm the one who didn't ask what it was made of, I won't leave negative feedback either.

I might not be expressing myself as well as I should. Just so you know, my tone is meant to be friendly and I am not arguing at all. Actually, our views on feedback are pretty much the same. I have never left anything but 100% positive feedback for any item I've purchased, even if it didn't meet my expectations.

eg I have a gorgeous green velvet dress that is too tight at my ribs and I still can't zip it all the way. I was disappointed, BUT the dress is gorgeous, perfectly described in great detail by the seller and I still believe it is worth every penny even if I never get it zipped! I gave the seller a positive and the max # of stars across the board and I have and will shop with her again.

I have a floral print acrylic/nylon 60's blanket. It's pilling like crazy BUT it's exactly as described, keeps me warm, worth what I paid and the seller has no control over the wear factor of the fabric. I gave them full stars across the board.

That's why this was such a strange situation and I was unsure how to handle it. I really do appreciate the advice and respect the views expressed!

Hi. I understand, and I am not arguing at all, either. I just wanted to further clarify why I would leave positive feedback in this case.

 

[Mike in Seattle]

In that case, I'd rather leave no feedback at all. Even if I factor out what I read into the item via the sales jargon, I am still left with an item that I do not feel was worth the asking price. I don't think it's fair to expect a buyer to leave positive feedback in that case, anymore that it would be appropriate for me to leave negative feedback considering I failed to ask about the fabric in the first place.

You had the chance and opted not to ask questions. They shipped the item prompty, and upon opening the package, you didn't like hwaht you received. It wasn't misrepresented, it just wasn't something you like. So any problem isn't with the seller. I think they deserve some points for promptly shipping the item, and handling the transaction in a buisinesslike manor.

So why not simply post the item for sale on Ebay? Someone else might think it's a steal, or you may even make some money on the deal.

 

[cptjeff]

The rule of thumb for me is that if something is not specified and it's something you care about, ask. If the seller's description was accurate, or at least not inaccurate, and there were no issues with shipping or payment, leave positive feedback. They have fulfilled exactly what is expected of them, namely providing you the item as described (which it sounds like it was), for the amount agreed upon, in a reasonable amount of time.

What's important to you about the item itself may be completely unimportant to others, or the seller may not know much about the item and is clearing it out of their attic. You can't expect the seller to read your mind about the important attributes of an item. If I was the seller and you left me negative feedback, I would be contesting it with e-bay, no question.

 

[BellyTank]

If it's truly a matter of etiquette and you're asking advice-
then, I think, you have no choice but to leave positive feedback.
From your description of events, the seller has done nothing wrong at all.
I have had similar situations before and sometimes, eBay items look fantastic
in photos and your imagination fills in any blanks to the positive.
Ebay is not really a place of ethics and the feedback system does not work.
Selling is selling.

If you're thinking of not giving feedback, or giving neutral feedback,
you really should contact the seller and see if they are prepared to help you
with YOUR problem. If they are helpful, then you must give positive feedback.
If they won't/can't help you, I don't think you're justified in giving negative, or even neutral feedback.

It sounds like you made an error in judgment and should not punish the seller.

Some people don't do feedback at all.

Your word, Etiquette.

Good luck.


B
T

 

[Feraud]

You had the chance and opted not to ask questions. They shipped the item prompty, and upon opening the package, you didn't like hwaht you received. It wasn't misrepresented, it just wasn't something you like. So any problem isn't with the seller. I think they deserve some points for promptly shipping the item, and handling the transaction in a buisinesslike manor.

So why not simply post the item for sale on Ebay? Someone else might think it's a steal, or you may even make some money on the deal.

Agreed.

The seller cannot be faulted for not listing every detail about the item. A buyer can ask questions before buying. The seller is not responsible for the buyer's inexperience and/or expectations.

I would write this off to a learning experience and leave the seller appropriate feedback for their part in the auction process.

 

[23SkidooWithYou]

Thank you again, everyone!

Some wonderful responses.

Let me reiterate...I never ever intended to leave NEGATIVE feedback. I didn't ask about the fabric and that is MY fault and MY problem (acknowledged that in the first post). However after having some time to remove disappointment and emotion, I really feel the seller overpriced the item based on the actual fabric. That doesn't warrant a positive in my book. She set the price, I failed to ask...overall a neutral experience for me. While you may not agree, I do hope you acknowledge my right to feel however I feel.

My original question wasn't what type of feedback to leave but if it were appropriate to leave it without contacting the seller. I believe we rightly determined that if I leave anything except positive feedback, I owe the seller the opportunity to address my problem with the dress first.

As I am not seeking any return or reimbursement (because I feel it's wrong to do so when I didn't ask about fabric) I'm not sure what point there is to contacting the seller...thus, I will most likely just not leave any feedback at all.

As for reselling it at or more than what I paid, I couldn't do it in good conscience. Pretend it's a set of sheets and not a dress. In the photos it looks like silk charmeuse and resembles all the other sets of silk charmeuse sheets I've purchased. The price is reasonable for silk charmeuse and in accordance with all the other silk charmeuse sets I've gotten, so I purchase it, get it home and find out it's polyester satin. I won't dispute the seller because I assumed something that wasn't actually stated, but I shouldn't have to praise them for overpricing the item in light of it's actual fabrication either. I also couldn't turn around and list them, sans the fabric description as the original seller did and price them as charmeuse. I would feel compelled to list them as polyester satin and for a price commensurate with that fabric.

***Now the reall kicker will be...If I wear this dress and everyone tells me how nice I look in it! 'Common, THAT would be funny!

Okay, gonna quit here because I feel like we are :deadhorse

 

[Marc Chevalier]

I would write this off to a learning experience ...

Agreed: it's been a useful lesson. Having learned it, 23SkidooWithYou will now be a more proactive buyer ... and that's great! :eusa_clap


.

 

[Burton]

I agree with most of the posters and must say that the majority of time I get just what I thought I would get when I buy on ebay. I buy a lot of vintage Willis and Geiger safari clothing and have so much of it I know how it will fit. I have had a couple of occasions where for whatever reason the sizing was weird and the sleeves a bit short or on a couple of occasions the "medium" khaki shirt was actually a womans medium. I could have asked for accurate measurements and didnt thus I keep the item and find a home for it somewhere else.

I have found that feedback (especially negative) really does affect the sellers and most will bend over backwards to make it right.