Etiquette books

[MissMissy]

I am almost through Emily Post's Etiquette which was written in 1922 I believe. I think it is really interesting and fun to read. There is an updated version (17th edition by Peggy Post?) that I was wondering if anyone has read and what were their thoughts on the modern version? For example, cell phone etiquette I can imagine would be included, e-mail etiquette as well.
Any other suggestions or comments on other etiquette books new or old would be appreciated. Possibly one specifically on entertaining would be nice to read.
Thank you ladies, I always appreciate your opinions.
Missy

 

[Paisley]

May I recommend Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior by Judith Martin. She's not only correct, but funny. I love her introduction about the Awful and Perfect families. Her book is even illustrated (e.g., bridesmaid who refuses to wear overpriced, overdone dress; the disdainful look; formal dinner service; etc.). It isn't her technical knowledge of etiquette that impresses me, though, it is her understanding of human nature. Other Loungers are fans of her, also. In fact, there was recently a thread on a column by Miss Manners.

She covers entertaining from casual lunchtime invitations to the order of precedence of dignitaries.

Sadly, my experience in entertaining has been that people don't give definite answer to invitations (Miss Manners says to take that as a "no"), they eat and run, or they simply don't show up after accepting an invitation. I've taken her advice and stopped inviting these people over. So the only entertaining I do anymore is for my best friend.

 

[MissMissy]

Thanks Paisley,
Wow, thanks for the link to that thread. I looked on Amazon already and she has quite a few books to choose from. I read a few exerpts and I think I will enjoy reading them. Not sure where to start as I seen quite a few that looked interesting, especially the one about raising children since I have three and my two year old daughter is exhausting my patience lately.
Thanks again,
Missy

 

[shindeco]

I love etiquette books. I've been reading and collecting them since I was 15(yes, I WAS a strange teenager). Emily Post in the original is fabulous; her successors (daughter-in-law and granddaughter, successively) are not nearly as good. It seems to me that niether of them really "gets" it when it comes to etiquette.

I have to agree completely with Paisley on Judith Martin. She is definitely a worthy successor to Emily Post.

 

[magneto]

I love etiquette books. I've been reading and collecting them since I was 15(yes, I WAS a strange teenager).
...

Oh good, I am not alone
Agreed with all said so far. Also recommended:
"The Correct Thing To Do, To Say, To Wear" by Charlotte Hawkins Brown (1941) (incidentally she was an eminent African-American educator). I like this because it discusses fashion etiquette considerably, as evident in the title.

 

[Rosie]

Oh good, I am not alone
Agreed with all said so far. Also recommended:
"The Correct Thing To Do, To Say, To Wear" by Charlotte Hawkins Brown (1941) (incidentally she was an eminent African-American educator). I like this because it discusses fashion etiquette considerably, as evident in the title.

OOOO, thanks Magneto, now I'll have to pick that up.

 

[Lady Day]

Oh good, I am not alone
Agreed with all said so far. Also recommended:
"The Correct Thing To Do, To Say, To Wear" by Charlotte Hawkins Brown (1941) (incidentally she was an eminent African-American educator). I like this because it discusses fashion etiquette considerably, as evident in the title.

Well my fashion etiquette was off today, I was wearing knee highs, but my skirt just hit below my knee so you could see the tops of my stockings when I walked.


Ld

 

[Naama]

I love etiquette books. I've been reading and collecting them since I was 15(yes, I WAS a strange teenager).

And I used to think that I was strange...........

The only books on Etiquette or manners I've ever read was "Manners from Heaven" by Quentin Crisp, not really your ordenery Etiquette book. But I really enjoyed it and also learned a few things.
In Europe Mr. Knigges book(s? not sure) are really "popular" You know, nobody has read them I guess, but you can sometimes use Knigge as a word for manners, so there must be something about it(?)

Naama

 

[BettyValentine]

Excellent! I thought I was the only one! ^_^ My favorite is Miss Manners' guide to excruciatingly correct behavior. I love her column too.

After reading Miss Manners and Emily Post, I went out and got Tiffany's Table Manners for Teens because I was told that was the best resource for teens and I was 13. I was so disappointed! There's nothing in that book that isn't covered in a more satisfactory way in the more interesting books. (Also it's like 14 pages or something.)


BV

 

[Miss Neecerie]

I just this last weekend aquired a 1940 copy of 'The New Etiquette' and so will be posting info from it as soon as I get going with reading it.

It covers everything from conversation skills, to dressing, to letters, to how to travel....its very comprehensive.

Denise

 

[BettyValentine]

Now that I look around Amazon for more Miss Manners books (and a video tape! Yay!) I see that the core book has a new edition out. Has anyone read this who can tell me how it compares to the previous edition? If it has new information I must acquire it!


BV

 

[Miss Dottie]

I love etiquette books. I've been reading and collecting them since I was 15(yes, I WAS a strange teenager). Emily Post in the original is fabulous; her successors (daughter-in-law and granddaughter, successively) are not nearly as good. It seems to me that niether of them really "gets" it when it comes to etiquette.

I have to agree completely with Paisley on Judith Martin. She is definitely a worthy successor to Emily Post.

Why does it not surprise me that so many of the Fedora Lounge ladies collected ettiquette books when they were younger? I too am in that club. My favorite part was the discussions they would have about how to properly dress their maids for daytime and evening events.

Anyway, Amy Vanderbilt also has some nice books on etiquette.

 

[Paisley]

Now that I look around Amazon for more Miss Manners books (and a video tape! Yay!) I see that the core book has a new edition out. Has anyone read this who can tell me how it compares to the previous edition? If it has new information I must acquire it!


BV

If you're referring to the updated version of Miss Manenrs' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, I have that book.

In the introduction, Grace Perfect, the matriarch of the family, has passed on. Her daughter has divorced Rhino Awful, who has married someone nearer his IQ but not nearly his own age. Ms. Perfect-Awful has become a family court judge. She presides every day over people whose poor judgment and appalling lack of manners have landed them in court. She finds her mother's stern and sensible words coming out of her own mouth, but the day she sentences someone to have his mouth washed out with soap is, she's decided, the day she will retire. She seeks to guide her niece and nephew with advice, which they have solicited, on good manners and dress, yet never longs for the so-called "good old days." The book is for those of us without such an aunt.*

Miss Manners begins the chapters with her own essays and then includes letters and responses. Of course, she includes up-to-date topics such as bridezilla weddings, courtship and breakup via e-mail, and too much information. Some of the old gems remain in the book, such as the letter from a gentle reader complaining of women scorning girdles and ending up pregnant. "Miss Manners may not be skinny," she responds, "but at least she doesn't think that girdles prevent pregnancy." And then there is classic advice, such as an all-purpose response to nosy questions: "I'm sorry, but I don't discuss that." (My best friend has put that one to use in her sales job.)

It's an expensive book, but I recommend it.

*I apologize if I've gotten the details wrong; I don't have the book in front of me.

Update: I may be mistaken about the letter about girdles. I could not find it in the updated book last night.

 

[BettyValentine]

Excellent! Thank you very much for the excellent capsule review. Into my Amazon cart it goes! I will leave the previous edition at my parents' house, and this will be my new house's edition.


BV

 

[scotrace]

Men need manners too.

Let me ever-so-sheepishly admit to pouring over etiquette books as well, since I was a teen. They seemed like manuals to fill the gaps in my less-than-mannerly upbringing.

I'm surprised Letitia Baldrige hasn't come up? Anyone seen her guides? She and Emily Post are my favorites. Besides, Letitia says that "if men only half realized how handsome they looked in those felt fedoras, there would be one on every man's head."

Thanks for moving this thread out of the Powder Room.

 

[Marc Chevalier]

Mortimer Levitt, the founder of "The Custom Shop" (shirtmakers), wrote a nice little tome called Class. Worth a read. It lays out the spirit of good manners, rather than the nuts and bolts.

.

 

[Rosie]

I just this last weekend aquired a 1940 copy of 'The New Etiquette' and so will be posting info from it as soon as I get going with reading it.

It covers everything from conversation skills, to dressing, to letters, to how to travel....its very comprehensive.

Denise

I have this book also! I REALLY like it as I'm so girly and love the idea of being a "refined" lady. I'm giving a tea later this month using "The New Etiqutte", "Mrs. Dunwoody's" and "Emily Post Entertains" as guides.

 

[shindeco]

Let me ever-so-sheepishly admit to pouring over etiquette books as well, since I was a teen. They seemed like manuals to fill the gaps in my less-than-mannerly upbringing.

I'm surprised Letitia Baldrige hasn't come up? Anyone seen her guides? She and Emily Post are my favorites. Besides, Letitia says that "if men only half realized how handsome they looked in those felt fedoras, there would be one on every man's head."



Thanks for moving this thread out of the Powder Room.

Letitia Baldridge is definitely great, too. You're right, though. In general, she gets very little recognition. She took over from Amy Vanderbilt, who is also less well known (but fun!)

One of my favourites is a little book called "Manners for Moderns" (1938) that has some GREAT line drawings -- very art deco. It's geared to young men and is full of lines like

"Grease may not ruin your hair, but it's likely to ruin your chances with a girl friend...there's nothing very romantic about running one's fingers through a field of grease."

 

[Paisley]

"Grease may not ruin your hair, but it's likely to ruin your chances with a girl friend...there's nothing very romantic about running one's fingers through a field of grease."

lol

Love soft, clean hair!

 

[Braxton36]

Confessions of an Etiquette Book Reader

OK, I did it too.

I have a bunch - even some 19th century ones which are hilarious.

This group might especially like Esquire Etiquette- written I thiink in the late 1940's or early 1950's. It is very tongue-in-cheek.

Another Esquire book that is truly a riot is Things A Man Should Know - about style by Scott Omelianuk and Ted Allen. It came out in '99.

Here's an example:

"Cowboy boots: no

Cowboy hats: no

Cowboy shirts: probably not

Large belt buckles: only if you're a cowboy

P.S. Don't leave that bolo tie in your dresser drawer.

You could die.

Somebody could find it."