Dressing up or down?

[Bourbon Guy]

I say, if one must err, err on the side of "well dressed," rather than dressy.

Fill the room with your charm and personality, not your clothes. Then you will always be appropriately dressed.

Seriously, I have never believed that it is possible to be over dressed.

 

[Bourbon Guy]

I'm usually not in favor of book burning but in this case................

Seconded.

 

[KY Gentleman]

I would rather be overdressed. If you are too casual I think it appears disrespectful as well as slovenly.

 

[Edward]

I very much disagree with the author quoted in the OP... As it says in my sig....

Everyone is different, and I have always (even long before I started wearing one casually... lol) felt comfortable in a suit (even if, at 15, I wore mine with basketball boots and a comedy Hitler t shirt.... euw), but personally, I would be much more comfortable if I had overdressed for the evening than if I turned up in jeans and evderyone else was in black tie (for the sake of argument).

 

[Hal]

I find it a refreshing take on the increasingly casual nature of modern fashion. The suit gives you a polished, put-together look. The lack of a tie keeps you approachable...to many in modern America, ties signify someone who is stuffy or all-business.
...a great pocket square. French-cuffs are another great way to pull this look off...

I'm sorry, but I find it incongruous - and usually sloppy and unfinished. It sends mixed messages - suit= formal, open-necked shirt = casual. The lack of the tie immediately cancels out the "polished, put-together look.And I reject, with some degree of vehemence and indignation, the idea that one must lack a tie in order to be approachable - this is not the case in the UK. I would rather be accused of being stuffy or uptight than commended for being "laid-back".
Adding French cuffs or a pocket square to the tieless look compounds the incongruity, as both these items are farther up the scale of formality than the tie itself.
A later poster in the thread suggests a roll-necked sweater with a jacket. This works with many sports jackets but not, I think with suits. It is the open-necked shirt with sports jacket, blazer or suit that repels me.

 

[Flitcraft]

Two Suggestions That Have Worked For Me...

especially during the Holiday Season:

1) Wear a midnight blue double breasted suit paired with a crisp white shirt with french cuffs and wear a black silk bow tie. You won't need a cumberbund and, if several others dress in tuxedoes, you won't look too out of place. The black bowtie with blue suit was a favorite "dress up" trick of Will Rogers.

2) Wear a lightweight silk or cotton turtleneck with either a black double-breasted tux or suit. Richard Burton, and more recently, Adrian Paul, both pull off this look quite well.

The best advice is to be confident, and polite, whatever you choose to wear.

 

[Paisley]

I like a jacket with an open necked shirt. To me, it looks better with slacks than jeans. Jacket with jeans reminds me of the 90s.

 

[Bourbon Guy]

I'm sorry, but I find it incongruous - and usually sloppy and unfinished. It sends mixed messages - suit= formal, open-necked shirt = casual. The lack of the tie immediately cancels out the "polished, put-together look.And I reject, with some degree of vehemence and indignation, the idea that one must lack a tie in order to be approachable - this is not the case in the UK. I would rather be accused of being stuffy or uptight than commended for being "laid-back".
Adding French cuffs or a pocket square to the tieless look compounds the incongruity, as both these items are farther up the scale of formality than the tie itself.
A later poster in the thread suggests a roll-necked sweater with a jacket. This works with many sports jackets but not, I think with suits. It is the open-necked shirt with sports jacket, blazer or suit that repels me.

Yes. French cuffs with a suit and no tie? Might as well forget your pants.

Roll neck sweaters are never worn with a suit. Just a blazer.

Where do these people come from?

 

[ortega76]

Let's say that I admire the suit and open collar because I realize that a suit DOES put many people on their guard.

Yes, it would be a wonderfully splendid world if a suit and tie did not autmatically raise a few heckles, but it does. I advocate this look not because I find it to be anything other than a servicable way to remain approachable to others. As with anything, it's personal preference or tolerance.

 

[Hal]

...I admire the suit and open collar because I realize that a suit DOES put many people on their guard.

That is why I commended Mike in Seattle's suggestion of a sports jacket with shirt and tie.

... if a suit and tie did not autmatically raise a few heckles, but it does...

While I feel that if you don't want to wear a tie, you shouldn't wear a jacket, I can see that you are speaking from experience, and so I take your point. The situation may be another USA/UK cultural difference.

 

[PADDY]

Look Mom...no tie..!!

Out with work the other day and had to strike a balance between being approachable & open (I was working with a client with particular health needs), yet also professional (as I was in a public environment). This was my effort (below vvVvv), where I lost the tie and shirt and opted for a smart light merino wool jersey under the vintage suit [huh]

 

[Flitcraft]

Looks Great, Paddy...

I'm in the same situation as you- sometimes a tie is just too formal these days and instead of inspiring trust, it has just the opposite affect.

I think your look strikes a happy balance....

 

[Edward]

That certainly works much better, IMO, than an open neck shirt. Somehow, the open neck shirt looks like you've simply dispensed with the tie, rather than dressed that way intentionally, if you follow.

Myself, if I'm feeling like not wearing a tie, I will quite happily slip into an open neck shirt with a cravat. The cravat 'tidies up' the look while keeping it casualish, but of course not perhaps the best option if you're looking for sometnig more toned down for the mainstream if that's what you need for the situation. I'd avoid the turleneck with a jacket, personally, as that's a look that simply screams Simon Cowell in my ear... lol Paddy's jumper works grand, though.

Another option I've gone tieless with (though occasionally paired a cravat to, again) - is a collarless shirt. more casual and yet somehow also tidier than a regular collared shirt worn open necked with a suit. With a tweed jacket and a newsboy, it can have a very 30s 'blue collar worker' look to it, which I like.

ETA: I used to wear a plain black t shirt with a suit all the time when I wanted that mix of casual and formal. Quite Keith Richards, though not a look I have dabbled in for some time myself.

 

[Flitcraft]

Another option I've gone tieless with (though occasionally paired a cravat to, again) - is a collarless shirt. more casual and yet somehow also tidier than a regular collared shirt worn open necked with a suit. With a tweed jacket and a newsboy, it can have a very 30s 'blue collar worker' look to it, which I like.

That's a really good idea that I'm going to have to try.
Thanks!

 

[Tomasso]

The method to my madness:

For suits: I often go tieless in Summer (with linen and seersucker) but for some reason I don't care for the look in Winter. [huh]

For sportjackets:Tie, tieless, sweaters (polo collar, turtle neck) for any season.


I've never been a big fan of t-shirts, crew neck and v-neck sweaters (sans collared shirt) worn with suit/sport jackets. To my eye, the look doesn't seem to frame the face very well. (Not to mention being ruinous to jacket collars.)

 

[Lou]

I agree that leaning toward overdressing is the better option. Unfortunately, my opinion is the minority in most of the US. When I walk into an evening course with a jacket or suit (obviously coming from work), I see the "oh excuse me" look in the students' eyes. Happily, the better dress always gets the professor's respect.

At my prior job at an investment company, my boss once wore a nice blazer with a turtleneck on casual Friday. People were walking by and groaning, "What's with the jacket? Loosen up!" Anybody who had paid attention would have realized he was just a snappy dresser, but it apparently didn't matter. The jacket stayed on that day, but he never wore it again on casual Friday. It worked out for him in the end, because people saw that we was a man of class but not inflexible. He has since moved up the ladder, where fewer people would presume to comment on his clothes. I believe he dressed well because of who he was and not just for advancement, but it's certainly a nice benefit.

Back to the original question. As other posters have said, check with the host.

 

[kools]

If anyone asks about the suit, just tell them you had something to do later/earlier.

What I certainly would not do is wear a suit & then lie or apologize for it.

 

[demian]

I for one am rather surprised at the responses here.

To be brief....it is always best to be who you are. Period.

Bring people to your standards, do not fall to others. Dress for yourself, not for others. You will have no issues.

I have always been a suit and vest/tie guy...sometimes people tend to feel I am overdresed or my girl says I am dressing too "old".

But it is who I am and how I dress. It is not "old" but elegant. I am not a particualrly "vintage" guy, but I like vests and suits and I look good in them!!

Now as I live in Italy, one is never over-dressed.

Upon returning to the States recently, I find everyone so under-dressed.

Living in a popular student/tourist city, one always sees the Americans...always with the baseball cap and tshirt..jeans.

As I've said before, they will shoot you in Milan for wearing jeans!!

Even in New York I was surprised how poorly dressed people are. Supposed fashion capital in the States.

Here, even in a charming small village where there is nothing, I mean nothing, people dress well for the evening "passeggiata" (walk after dinner) they wear a suit and tie.

It is very charming.

It is a sign of self-respect I feel.

... that does not seem to exist in the States I feel to a large extent. It should as it raises the standards of the individual. When you respect yourself you respect others.

It is always better to be over-dressed than under-dressed. Perhaps for a man it is easier as one can always remove the tie.
Kind regards.

 

[Tomasso]

As I've said before, they will shoot you in Milan for wearing jeans!!

There must be quite a high body count.

And, please don't say that they're Americans. Jeans are popular all over Europe, including Italy.

 

[ortega76]

What I certainly would not do is wear a suit & then lie or apologize for it.

Perhaps not so much an apology, but I know some people struggle with things to say when braced about their clothes or something personal. It's just a prepared answer that may make some more comfortable.