Dressing up or down?

[Gilgamark]

My wife and I live in Nashville. I'm a political consultant and she's an artist, so we get invited to events with people in all sorts of different fields. I'm sure most cities are this way, but in Nashville, every segment seems to have its own way of designating the attire for events. For example, we're invited to a bar opening Saturday night being put on by a friend in country music management. The invitation calls for "concert casual" dress. Sounds like that means an old concert t shirt, jeans, and tennis shoes will be fine, right? (Of course, when in doubt, ask the host.)

I was reading "A Gentleman Dresses Up" two nights ago. The author recommends that when a man isn't sure about the level of formality that an event requires, he should err on the side of underdressing. If he overdresses, everyone will assume that he did it on purpose and is being snotty. If he underdressing, everyone will assume that it was a mistake.

Thoughts? Agree? Disagree?

 

[Odalisque]

Well, as I'm always overdressed as a personal preference, I'd say there is never anything wrong with looking nice. The fact that dressing well can be construed as being snooty just goes to show you how warped our society has become. At one time, dressing properly when attending events showed you had respect for those who would be looking at you.

And when I read the term "concert casual", I first thought

kind of concert. Definitely confirm with your host. That way you won't have to worry.

 

[KeyGrip]

I would clarify with whomever is organizing the event, especially if my other options boil down to being a snob or a slob.

 

[Not-Bogart13]

I've made the mistake in both directions, and the scorn in people's eyes (if it's there) is about the same amount. But I much prefer to be hated for besting everyone then being looked down upon as a slob.

I say, if one must err, err on the side of "well dressed," rather than dressy. In other words; Blazer, nice print dress shirt, chinos. Be prepared if you can - Keep a tie in your blazer pocket, and wear a nice, light colored t-shirt under the dress shirt. Then, if needed, you can add the tie or unbutton & untuck the shirt as needed.

 

[BlindeMan]

One of my best friends avoids these issues entirely by always wearing the same outfit regardless of the circumstances:
T-Shirt
Blue Jeans
Brown Work Boots

From Mid-Spring to Mid-Autumn this becomes:
T-Shirt
Jean Shorts
Brown Work Boots

From November to February he will also add:
Brown Leather Jacket

This is what he wore to every job interview including those for his college, graduate school, post-doctorate position and his current job at a pharmaceutical research company. It is also, of course, what he wears when he is working in the lab.

He also wore the same outfit at every party/concert/movie/social event I have attended with him with the exception of when he was the groom or a best man at a wedding - and we weren't certain about what he would be wearing to those events until he actually showed up.

 

[ortega76]

I agree with NB. First, see if you can clarify the dress code with the host. I've made that call (often at my wife's insistence on her behalf) and it's been helpful. If you are still not sure, wear something versatile. A printed shirt, sportcoat and tie in the pocket goes a long way. If Nashville is pretty casual, try the madern look of dark blue jeans with a shirt and jacket. Keep a tie in your pocket and make sure your shirt has a nice pattern to it.

I find that I often prefer a suit with a printed shirt and open collar for this grey zone. The suit looks put together, the lack of a tie keeps it kinda casual. If anyone asks about the suit, just tell them you had something to do later/earlier. A great pocketsquare can really have this look rock.

 

[tonyb]

They dewy-eyed bride and I are attending a party at a friend's house this Saturday night. The hostess requests that guests kinda put on the dog, to echo the formal balls attendant to this week's inauguration. She says it's okay to "come as you are," but she wouldn't have mentioned the "dress up" bit if she didn't wish people did. And, like a lot of folks, she enjoys having "events" at her house, and the fancy duds certainly contribute to an event atmosphere. So I'll wear my '40s-vintage tux, along with the black patent leather Stacy Adams kicks (another thrift shop find) and the vintage pleated shirt and (modern, alas) black bow tie. Still haven't settled on the hat. (Only got a hundred or so to choose from.) My wife will be similarly decked out. It'll be a blast, I'm sure, if not quite a ball.

I'm thinking that in Nashville "concert casual," especially at a bar opening, would mean something like the new blue jeans and a freshly ironed Western shirt with mother-of-pearl snaps and embroidery and polished-up boots. Just speculatin', you know, so I'm with the others who suggest you politely ask for clarification.

 

[Max Flash]

I was reading "A Gentleman Dresses Up" two nights ago. The author recommends that when a man isn't sure about the level of formality that an event requires, he should err on the side of underdressing. If he overdresses, everyone will assume that he did it on purpose and is being snotty. If he underdressing, everyone will assume that it was a mistake.

Thoughts? Agree? Disagree?

I would have to disagree with the author of the book (also, does the advice not contradict the title of the book?). It is rarely wrong to be overdressed for an event but almost always wrong to be underdressed. I would rather overdress and then persuade people that I am not snotty by my witty and self-deprecating demeanour than be embarrassed by being underdressed.

Of course, there are ways around being caught out. For example, if you are unsure whether others will wear a tie, carry one in your coat pocket to be donned if you feel obviously out of place. Equally, wearing chinos, a blazer and a button down shirt can appear both slightly dressed up or more casual depending on others around you (again, quickly slipping on a tie can dress it up).

Wearing a suit can always be explained away ("I had to come straight from work") if everyone else is looking less formal. Generally, however, I can't think of many circumstances where you would chastised for wearing a shirt and jacket, even if everyone else is wearing tee-shirt and jeans.

Ultimately, however, it is important to feel comfortable in what you are wearing. If you are unused to wearing a suit and appear to have a rod up your a*se (please excuse the expression) as a result, people may assume you are snotty (or snooty) and thus that you have dressed that way to make a deliberate point. People who deliberately underdress can often be making just as pointed a comment on what they perceive the dresscode should be.

I say dress as you will (knowing that people on this forum would tend to dress up), and do it proudly (but not snootily)!

 

[Mike in Seattle]

Sportcoat, tie, dress slacks, nice shoes. As NB said, underdressing just gets you labeled as a slob. Better that you're known for dressing well than the opposite considering your professions, and since some of these events are job-related or generate publicity, aim a little above the norm.

 

[metropd]

Your only option White tie and tails...and of course a silk plush top hat. NO EXCUSES.

 

[Hal]

Sportcoat, tie, dress slacks, nice shoes.

By far the best suggestion in my opinion!
I LOATHE the tieless-but-jacketed look so popular these days.

 

[DeaconKC]

Nashville bar opening? Long sleeve shirt, nice jeans, cowboy boots and a leather jacket. You won't make anyone, especially you or your wife, feel uncomfortable that way and you will be comfy too.

 

[Feraud]

Your only option White tie and tails...and of course a silk plush top hat. NO EXCUSES.

To a bar opening???

 

[Foofoogal]

http://images.buycostumes.com/mgen/merchandiser/34339.jpg
lol [huh]

the cowboys in Texas where I used to live could dress up nicely in Western duds. Something along these lines. Crisp shirt is the key and crisp jeans.
Yeehaw y'all....
I have no idea what "concert casual" means. Nashville is a long way from where it used to be.

 

[Paisley]

I was reading "A Gentleman Dresses Up" two nights ago. The author recommends that when a man isn't sure about the level of formality that an event requires, he should err on the side of underdressing. If he overdresses, everyone will assume that he did it on purpose and is being snotty. If he underdressing, everyone will assume that it was a mistake.

Thoughts? Agree? Disagree?

If you wear a coat and tie, you can always take them off. But if you're underdressed, there's not much you can do.

 

[Tomasso]

I was reading "A Gentleman Dresses Up"

I'm usually not in favor of book burning but in this case................

 

[ortega76]

By far the best suggestion in my opinion!
I LOATHE the tieless-but-jacketed look so popular these days.

I find it a refreshing take on the increasingly casual nature of modern fashion. The suit gives you a polished, put-together look. The lack of a tie keeps you approachable. This is not to say that I don't love ties, I do. I find ties to be a wonderful expression of personality and occasion. However, to many in modern America, ties signify someone who is stuffy or all-business.

Those who have adopted the tie less look have done so in an effort to remain approachable. Our current President has done tie-less pretty well. As has the ambassador of no-ties, George Clooney.

The key is in the details. Pinstriping (whether quiet or colorful). Chalk striping. Patterns on the suits and shirts. I love seeing bold patterns and colors in the shirts worn or a great pocket square. French-cuffs are another great way to pull this look off.

 

[4and1]

Show up wearing a tie. Then sit back and laugh while a hundred ties come out of sportcoat pockets

 

[ortega76]

Show up wearing a tie. Then sit back and laugh while a hundred ties come out of sportcoat pockets

Always fun.

Last summer, I wore and suit and tie to a wedding reception where most of the male guests wore golf shirts. I got a few snickers about my pink shirt and baby blue and pink tie. Until most of their girlfriends pointed me out, asked me to dance or asked me where I shopped. The wife started rolling her eyes after the third or fourth time.

 

[MrBern]

By far the best suggestion in my opinion!
I LOATHE the tieless-but-jacketed look so popular these days.

Black Turtleneck.