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Can I ask what all these men see in Mary? Isn't there supposed to be a surplus of women because so many men were killed in the war?
While I know she's somewhat attractive her personality isn't necessarily a stunner. While her son will inherit Downton and the estate is still intact, it is facing financial issues, and it isn't like the man is going to hone in on that money. Plus, she's a widow. There's a ton of never-married never-had-a-child women running around who are a lot younger than she is now too.
This is another smart observation that I missed. With the women-men supply-demand balance out of whack owing to WWI, Mary in the real might struggle to find eligible men more than she does on the show. But she is striking to look and, as Ernest P Shackleton says, some men are attracted to cold aloofness. Also, despite the tangle, she does have money and title swirling around her, which also appeals to many men. And Mary seems to be a force of nature with a presence and aura beyond her looks that simply attracts attention (even when she is silent) - the absolute opposite of Edith (who disappears in a crowd even when she is talking).