Don't want to be (seen as) a wannabe!

[SheBear74]

Tatum, I know just what your talking about. I was doing some volunteer work at the high school, showed up in a cute dress with a flower in my hair and started sewing. One of the other Mom's said I looked really cute. I said thanks! I told her on the days I have to clean I like to feel pretty. She looked a little confused, lol but nodded like she knew what I meant.

 

[rue]

The one that gets me is when I just decide to put on something nice because I WANT TO, and I get comments. From the hubby: "Oh crap, I'm just wearing jeans" or "Hon, we're going to Home Depot and the grocery store..." Fortunately, I think it is because he feels like a slob next to me than for any other reason, and he is okay with that. (He is definitely not self-conscious or insecure very often.) When I tell him I did it just because I felt like feeling pretty, he gets it.

The one that bothers me is when we have people over for dinner (which is almost always a casual affair) and they feel a bit out of place because I dress nicer. I try to tell them that it's nothing to be bothered by, yes I like to cook in a dress and heels sometimes...

What cracks me up about it is if people who usually see me dressing nicely all the time see me in jeans and a t-shirt, they tell me how cute I look dressed down!

My husband was like that at first, but then one day we were in Walmart and he looked at me then looked around and said I need to start dressing better, more my age and not like these yahoos and he has! I thought it was really strange, because I never said anything [huh]

People always ask me where I'm going. I think I'm going to start saying "to a funeral"

 

[rue]

Tatum, I know just what your talking about. I was doing some volunteer work at the high school, showed up in a cute dress with a flower in my hair and started sewing. One of the other Mom's said I looked really cute. I said thanks! I told her on the days I have to clean I like to feel pretty. She looked a little confused, lol but nodded like she knew what I meant.

That's really funny lol

 

[sheeplady]

People always ask me where I'm going. I think I'm going to start saying "to a funeral"

I've actually had people ask me if I am going to a funeral when dressed vintage.

 

[rue]

I've actually had people ask me if I am going to a funeral when dressed vintage.

My response to that would be "yeah, yours" lol

 

[LinaSofia]

The one that gets me is when I just decide to put on something nice because I WANT TO, and I get comments. From the hubby: "Oh crap, I'm just wearing jeans" or "Hon, we're going to Home Depot and the grocery store..." Fortunately, I think it is because he feels like a slob next to me than for any other reason, and he is okay with that. (He is definitely not self-conscious or insecure very often.) When I tell him I did it just because I felt like feeling pretty, he gets it.

The one that bothers me is when we have people over for dinner (which is almost always a casual affair) and they feel a bit out of place because I dress nicer. I try to tell them that it's nothing to be bothered by, yes I like to cook in a dress and heels sometimes...

What cracks me up about it is if people who usually see me dressing nicely all the time see me in jeans and a t-shirt, they tell me how cute I look dressed down!

I second this too! All my life I've got the comment "it's just the supermarket/school/work/whatever not a fashion show!". And we like to have friends over for dinner and drinks as often as we can, and I always make an effort and dress up a bit even though our friends are more likely to dress very casual. It's just how I like to dress, casual for me is to wear separates (skirt and cardigan)! I don't own anything more casual than that!!!

On another note, it's interesting what people say about confidence. It's taken me until now (nearly 31) to actually feel accepting of myself, my body and my personality. It's such a nice place to be, just feeling comfortable with yourself! And if you feel comfortable with yourself then you're less likely to take other people's opinions to heart, because you trust your own. It's not always easy of course, but that's what we should strive for, to like ourselves

 

[Penny Dreadful]

On another note, it's interesting what people say about confidence. It's taken me until now (nearly 31) to actually feel accepting of myself, my body and my personality. It's such a nice place to be, just feeling comfortable with yourself! And if you feel comfortable with yourself then you're less likely to take other people's opinions to heart, because you trust your own. It's not always easy of course, but that's what we should strive for, to like ourselves

I know what you mean! Usually I'm very self-conscious, always aware of who may be staring at me in an odd way, and worried someone might laugh. But I have noticed that with certain things I am TOTALLY comfortable with no reaction could possibly phase me. I've been told while wearing my corsets that I looked absolutely insane and disgusting and I just think "I feel bad for you that you will never experience this."

 

[LinaSofia]

I know what you mean! Usually I'm very self-conscious, always aware of who may be staring at me in an odd way, and worried someone might laugh. But I have noticed that with certain things I am TOTALLY comfortable with no reaction could possibly phase me. I've been told while wearing my corsets that I looked absolutely insane and disgusting and I just think "I feel bad for you that you will never experience this."

oh my! what a horrible comment! I can't imagine for a second that you looked insane or disgusting! quite right not to take that onboard!! what a ridiculously nasty thing to say to someone. If I ever get someone being nasty to me I just think to myself "well, I feel good about the fact that I'm such a nicer person than them".

I think most of us are probably used to getting looks from "trendies" because we stand out from the crowd. I've become so used to it that I don't even notice, and when I do notice I take it as a compliment. My fiance recently said to me "you know, I've noticed you get a lot of looks when we walk around" and he pointed it out as something to be happy about, to be honest I hadn't even noticed! I have no idea what goes through peoples' minds when they do a double take on me, but I have just decided to take it as a compliment because that makes me feel better!

 

[sheeplady]

If I ever get someone being nasty to me I just think to myself "well, I feel good about the fact that I'm such a nicer person than them"...
I have no idea what goes through peoples' minds when they do a double take on me, but I have just decided to take it as a compliment because that makes me feel better!

I also take it as a compliment. I had a guy almost walk into a tree the other day, he missed it by maybe a foot.

They didn't come up with the phrase "stop traffic" for nothing.

The truth is, people who say really nasty stuff to people who look different probably say some really, really nasty things to other members of our society as well. I can remember these girls in school who were really mean to my friends. They also were mean and discriminatory towards the hard of hearing Spanish teacher we had in high school- a woman who read lips, wore two hearing aids, and taught a foreign language! Rather than seeing the good in this very nice woman (and her skill and inspiration!) they decided to demean her because she was HOH. It was then that I realized that not only were these people mean, but they were motivated by a lot of "isms," and their opinion was worth less than dirt to me.

 

[LinaSofia]

I also take it as a compliment. I had a guy almost walk into a tree the other day, he missed it by maybe a foot.

haha brilliant! When I was 16 a friend and I were walking down the street and there was a guy on the opposite side who stared at us to the point of walking head-on into a lamp post!

not only were these people mean, but they were motivated by a lot of "isms," and their opinion was worth less than dirt to me.

exactly! small minded people with prejudices... thank god we're not like them eh!

 

[BoPeep]

And I think a lot of people need to stop taking themselves so seriously...

I think this is a good point. I started out wearing a black pencil skirt, white tank top and red Rosie bandanna, thinking I was all that! lol So almost two years later, my closet has become almost entirely vintage or sewn from vintage patterns. But the further I get into this, the more I can see that it's very easy to go overboard! One Sunday before leaving for church, I ran back into the house to get white gloves because I didn't want my bare arms sticking out of my 3/4 sleeve jacket. For a split second I contemplated a matching hat (already had the pearls and heels, of course). A hat would finish the outfit perfectly. But seriously, I was already way overdressed for my smalltown church as it was.

It seems that once you've done all your experimenting and find your comfort level, you're good and won't get bent out of shape if a bobby pin is showing. The tricky part is getting to that point!

 

[Lauren]

Very true, BoPeep.
I'd like to ditto about not letting the folks get you down. If they go out of their way to be nasty they're probably really unhappy with themselves and it's not a reflection on you.
This fashion thing is supposed to be fun, after all.
Personally I don't care how people dress. I flip flop with all sorts of fashion all over the place. I don't need to dress full on vintage every day. I love the fashion but can admire it without getting all gussied up all the time
IF you want to do full on vintage there's lots of vintage sources out there to help. If you want to mix vintage with modern, that's cool, too. There's so many different little subcultures in the vintage subculture and all have their good points and not so good points, but it seems a lot of the rules of dressing are different. Gauge what works for you and makes you feel good and just go for it. Forget the naysayers.

 

[Amy Jeanne]

Yes, don't take it too seriously. The very reason I died my hair bright flaming red and plan to dye it blue when this fades out -- to remind everyone that it's really not that serious! A kid was pointing and awing over my hair in the grocery store, but her mother told her "not to point! Don't be rude!" While I admire the parenting skillz, I did want to go up to the kid and say "You like my hair? It's s funny colour isn't it?" Really. It's not serious at all.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

Who cares what they think or say as long as they are thinking and talking about YOU!

No really, I agree with Lizzie, Lolita and Lauren. Authenticity is a state of being and not wearing, and to do everything "by the book" without the spirit behind it is not something I'd want to do.

Me, I'm all over the place. I unapologetically love the 50's, 60's and early 70's and wear what I can afford and what flatters me most. I love vintage coats, sweaters, tops and jewelry but I always mix it with new. I do wear almost exclusively vintage pajamas, though!

 

[Tatum]

I know it has been said somewhere on the FL (or maybe I read a blog post about it somewhere) that you are usually treated much nicer out shopping when you are dressed nicely. My Home Depot/Lowe's trips are the most amusing examples of that! I definitely stand out there.

But everywhere, even at the grocery, I have taken note that employees who might otherwise walk by will say hello or ask if they can help me find something. Cynical hubby says it's because "they think you are loaded"...LOL!

Rue, I love the funeral comment! Let us know how that goes

LinaSofia, I am envious of your confidence. I am working towards getting rid of everything piece of clothing I own that doesn't make me feel beautiful, but I don't have anything currently that I would work in the garden in other than jeans and tshirts! That was sort of my New Year's resolution, and it is hard on a budget!

 

[shazzabanazza]

Who cares what they think or say as long as they are thinking and talking about YOU!

You know what? That is a fantastic quote, I LOVE it! :love:

 

[PrettySquareGal]

You know what? That is a fantastic quote, I LOVE it! :love:

Thanks.

 

[BoPeep]

You make me laugh, AmyJeanne! I dyed my hair dark purple once just for the heck of it! Why not? It's only hair? And my vintage look is always thrown off balance by my gold nose ring. When I see little kids staring at it, I always ask them what they think. "Would you like one when you get older?" (That is usually followed by vigorous, head-shaking no's.)

And Tatum, talk about getting extra help. You walk into a hardware store or feedmill in a skirt and you got instant help! lol I can swing 50# of chicken feed, but if they don't think so, then far be it from me to say anything.

 

[Farren Randolph]

Lots of good, wise words from wonderful women.
I've always been "an old soul" and getting into retro/vintage style always felt right to me compared to modern fashion. Oddly enough, wearing the latest fashions of the day makes me feel out of place and weird, while vintage style feels like coming home.
Here's my $.02:
1. Stop/back off if it starts to feel like work instead of fun.
2. Vintage inspired clothing/makeup/hair can also be very enjoyable and can help you balance out other pieces of your wardrobe. (Or on days when you're just not feeling like going full-on.)

 

[Gracie Lee]

And Tatum, talk about getting extra help. You walk into a hardware store or feedmill in a skirt and you got instant help! lol I can swing 50# of chicken feed, but if they don't think so, then far be it from me to say anything.

The other trick I learned to get help in a hardware store is to show up disgusting. I'm totally serious: I used to work for an environmental contractor doing hazardous waste clean up and site restoration, and on the odd occasion I went for supplies with dirt caked in my pores, steel toed boots, sweaty, and generally nasty, there were employees on me like white on rice. The store manager was soliciting me to open a contractor's account, at least three people offered to help me load my truck... I don't know what was going on, but it certainly gave me a good laugh.

But yes, I went grocery shopping this evening, and stock people and customers alike were milling about, like they were waiting for me to ask for help. And the guy cleaning out the seafood case (ick!) was very genial.