Does wearing vintage Get you noticed by the opposite sex?

[sheeplady]

At the same time?

Well, I wasn't suggesting in the same bed (don't totally faint everybody), unless that was really what everybody wants. But I've known people who have maintained more than one relationship at a time. I mean, all parties should be informed, I'm not going to support lying or cheating.

There was actually a polygamous "couple" that lived down the street from my parents when I was growing up. They were Mr & Mrs LastName and Mr. DifferentLastName to me. They were perfectly nice people, and they always introduced themselves as husband/wife and husband's friend from the war. But they were all romantically involved with each other. The three of them had been together for at least 25 years when I last saw them, before they moved away from the area.

 

[LocktownDog]

Same situation my great-grandparents were in. Lived with my "Uncle Fred" for 20+ years. Still uncomfortable discussing it (particularly when Nana Hazel was such an angel). But I gotta say, I got along better with Uncle Fred than I did with my great-grandfather. That man was a jackass. I think it came down to not divorcing, just making things work.

 

[Edward]

It helped that he was an avid Lindy Hop dancer. Gals like guys who like to dance.

Very true. I've seen the absolute, most caddish lowlifes walk away with women every time (often even the same girl over again who knows damn well), because the bounder can dance. There does come a time when you lose all sympathy for some ladies as the authoresses of their own misfortunes...

Lame but true. Midlife crisis and all that.

That and deciding later in life that they want to settle down and have kids, and thus reject women their own age (late thirties, and into forties, typically) as they don't consider them to be ideal breeding stock. Friend of mine was driven off a US-based Christian dating site by repeated approaches from men older than her own late father (despite her clear indication of "age range", as per site set up).

I dated someone ten years younger than me when I was 30... I was bored immediately.

I know exactly what you mean. There's so much to be said for someone in your own age bracket who grew up with the same pop cultural and historical reference points. I'm nearly forty now (well, 37 and a bit), and to be blunt the idea of anyone under thirty (and even close to it at times) just doesn't appeal. Whatever works for folks - I've seen some great relationships with big age gaps, but it's not for me.

Well, I wasn't suggesting in the same bed (don't totally faint everybody), unless that was really what everybody wants. But I've known people who have maintained more than one relationship at a time. I mean, all parties should be informed, I'm not going to support lying or cheating.

There was actually a polygamous "couple" that lived down the street from my parents when I was growing up. They were Mr & Mrs LastName and Mr. DifferentLastName to me. They were perfectly nice people, and they always introduced themselves as husband/wife and husband's friend from the war. But they were all romantically involved with each other. The three of them had been together for at least 25 years when I last saw them, before they moved away from the area.

The older I get the more convinced I become that there are many, many more important things to worry about in this imperfect world than how consenting adults choose to spend their spare time in ways that do not affect me.

 

[Marc Chevalier]

Very true. I've seen the absolute, most caddish lowlifes walk away with women every time (often even the same girl over again who knows damn well), because the bounder can dance.

Many years ago, some of the more intelligent, vivacious and beautiful women in the L.A. vintage/Lindy Hop scene would say to me, "I'd like to date you, b-u-u-t ... [sigh] if only you could dance!" (I can't: two left feet.) Result: no dates with dancers.

 

[Edward]

Many years ago, some of the more intelligent, vivacious and beautiful women in the L.A. vintage/Lindy Hop scene would say to me, "I'd like to date you, b-u-u-t ... [sigh] if only you could dance!" (I can't: two left feet.) Result: no dates with dancers.

Shallow and depressing, innit? I've never been a dancer. Been to a few classes here and there, but never been confident enough to do it in the wild. Actually, I was pretty good when I last went to a class, but I have no relationship on the horizon and zero interest in approaching a stranger to dance, so it seems rather a wasted skill these days.

 

[rue]

That and deciding later in life that they want to settle down and have kids, and thus reject women their own age (late thirties, and into forties, typically) as they don't consider them to be ideal breeding stock. Friend of mine was driven off a US-based Christian dating site by repeated approaches from men older than her own late father (despite her clear indication of "age range", as per site set up).

I can not for the life of me imagine having a baby at my age anyway. It's fine for other women, but not me.

I know exactly what you mean. There's so much to be said for someone in your own age bracket who grew up with the same pop cultural and historical reference points. I'm nearly forty now (well, 37 and a bit), and to be blunt the idea of anyone under thirty (and even close to it at times) just doesn't appeal. Whatever works for folks - I've seen some great relationships with big age gaps, but it's not for me.

That's exactly right. At some point you have to be able to talk to them and when there's nothing to talk about it gets old fast.


Anyway, I've been thinking on this and I'm not so sure it's just the midlife crisis thing that is keeping men away. I've never been one to have men come up to me, even when I was of a "breeding age".

A guy once told me that I looked like I was already taken.... whatever that means [huh]

 

[rue]

Many years ago, some of the more intelligent, vivacious and beautiful women in the L.A. vintage/Lindy Hop scene would say to me, "I'd like to date you, b-u-u-t ... [sigh] if only you could dance!" (I can't: two left feet.) Result: no dates with dancers.

I have never met a man that could dance in my life.

 

[Marc Chevalier]

Shallow and depressing, innit? I've never been a dancer. Been to a few classes here and there, but never been confident enough to do it in the wild. Actually, I was pretty good when I last went to a class, but I have no relationship on the horizon and zero interest in approaching a stranger to dance, so it seems rather a wasted skill these days.

In L.A. in the '90s, during the height of the "Swing Revival" craze, female dancers always outnumbered male ones -- so good male dancers were in high demand. Skilled female dancers (the kind with an eye toward dance contests, paid performance gigs, lucrative dance instruction gigs in Europe and Asia, etc.) went to huge lengths to 'catch and hold' the 'right' male dance partner who would take them to the heights. Sex was usually part of the package.


Multiple women would fight each other over the same man; things got ugly very quickly in the scene.

 

[Miss sofia]

Oh, to be a fly on the wall on one of those evenings! (Or maybe i need to get out more....).

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

Even though my parents were just a year apart in age, I remember my mom advising me to find someone at least seven or eight years younger. lol
can't argue with a mother's advice...

That's exactly right. At some point you have to be able to talk to them and when there's nothing to talk about it gets old fast.

But there's Lady Gaga's latest video and there's... er... er... uh, never mind

 

[Marc Chevalier]

Oh, to be a fly on the wall on one of those evenings! (Or maybe i need to get out more....).

Trust me, it wasn't a pretty sight. Loud arguments at times; barely-discrete bumps, shoves, and trips on the dance floor. With some dancers, it just got too competitive.

 

[Marc Chevalier]

I have never met a man that could dance in my life.

You need to meet that guy who 'sold' vintage lingerie.

 

[rue]

You need to meet that guy who 'sold' vintage lingerie.

No thanks. He's sounds like of skeezy.

Besides, I don't know how to dance either, but I'm learning

 

[Marc Chevalier]

He's sounds like of skeezy.

To put it mildly!

 

[rue]

To put it mildly!

Yeah... thanks for the thought though

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

You need to meet that guy who 'sold' vintage lingerie.

Geez, now why didn't I think of that??? :doh:

 

[Marc Chevalier]

Geez, now why didn't I think of that??? :doh:

You wouldn't believe how successful that shtick of his was. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn't have believed it, either.


Come to think of it, it's a good thing that the L.A. vintage/swing scene deflated. Gals hooking up with a gnome so that they could outcompete each other in vintage lingerie ownership? Unsustainable. A collapse was imminent.

 

[rue]

Geez, now why didn't I think of that??? :doh:

Ha Ha

 

[Yeps]

Many years ago, some of the more intelligent, vivacious and beautiful women in the L.A. vintage/Lindy Hop scene would say to me, "I'd like to date you, b-u-u-t ... [sigh] if only you could dance!" (I can't: two left feet.) Result: no dates with dancers.

There is hope for me yet. I may be annoying and socially inept, but I can dance.

In all seriousness, the young women who like me best are usually those I dance with before I ever talk to. I make a much better first impression dancing than talking.

 

[Connery]

It's that, "statistically speaking", men of that age are not looking for women their same age.

Lame but true. Midlife crisis and all that.

Assuming that is true who wants them around anyway. That goes for a man looking for a woman or a woman looking for a man. There is that whole disproportionate power struggle and an imbalance in the relationship whether it be financial or experience, the lack of shared experience. The whole aspect that one or both parties are merely tools for the other partner to achieve their social, emotional or financial goal. This is a very complex and many times unrewarding venture.