do you have many friends?

[davestlouis]

I was reading the "tragic dimensions" thread, and Mav made a reference to having friends. I didn't want to interrupt that thread , so I thought I'd start a new one. How many friends to you have, if any?

I'm in my mid-40s, and have many casual acquaintances...people whose kids play sports with ours, co-workers, neighbors, etc. My darling wife makes fun of me because I have very few actual friends. I don't go drinking with the guys, I don't play golf, I'd sooner gouge my eyes out than watch the game on TV. The guy who I consider my best friend, I haven't seen in 3-4 years, and we talk on the phone about quarterly.

How large a circle of real friends do other posters have? To add a little humor to this, I'll add a quote...

"A friend will help you move furniture, a real friend will help you move a body".

 

[Miss sofia]

Great quote, i'm probably similar, i have lots of acquaintances, through work, social life, my son's, friends parents etc. True friends, probably about five i would say, and two of those i haven't seen in person for some time. Quality over quantity. Actually my true friends are the ones that turn up at two in the morning with a coat over their pyjamas, after you have rung them up wailing like a banshee, with a bottle of scotch in their pocket and then say "ok we'll get this sorted" lets get that kettle on"! In my experience anyway!

 

[flat-top]

I have a large circle of friends...but I rarely see any of them. I work a LOT, with crazy awful hours. I have a wife and a 5 year old waiting at home that I barely see, so socializing really gets put on the backburner. I long for the days (or nights) of sitting at the bar with friends for drinks and laughs. And even when the opportunity to do so does present itself, I'm usually too exhausted to make it happen.

 

[Dav]

Do I have many friends

Well I suppose the answer to that is no. I used to but in recent years (after turning 40) most seem to have dropped away, like you I don't drink, play golf, or enjoy watching the match I also don't have a wife or children so I don't really have to much in common with most people my age so I don't really enjoy their company. The few people I would call close friends I haven't spoken to for, well one over a year the other about ten years, so I suppose I'm not really much of a friend to them.
But on the plus side I'm quite happy having no real friends it dosen't bother me at all, maybe its because I'm an adopted only child so I've always been on my own.
If I'm honest my best friend is my dog.
At least I've got plenty of time to hang out in the lounge

 

[scottyrocks]

In an earlier life I used to join, lets call them 'organizatons,' centered around one major activity. I found that, for me, this did not automatically make everyone involved my friend, as I am not a BSer and dont play political games. So the few people that I became friends with were indeed friends.

I am a long time removed from belonging to any social organizations. Currently, I can say I have many aquaintances, but few real friends. And thats fine. Quality over quantity, I always say.

 

[JimWagner]

I think many people freely interchange the words "friends" and "acquaintances". You may need to define "friends" here before really answering.

To me a friendship implies a relationship that involves a certain, possibly lifelong, commitment and degree of acceptance and trust that even a lot of marriages don't attain. A true friendship is like a marriage except you don't live together, have sex, or share checkbooks.

Within that definition I don't have any friends at all. Nor want any. Just many acquaintances I am friendly with. Fortunately my wife is also my friend.

Based on some of the earlier answers this may be a man thing to feel this way.

 

[Puzzicato]

Based on some of the earlier answers this may be a man thing to feel this way.

I agree with your definition.

I have a handful of friends, and I feel very grateful for them. They are relationships that have stood time, distance, marriage, snappiness, misunderstandings and flat-sharing. I also have work-friends and dancing-friends and forum-friends, but very few of those relationships would survive taking away the circumstances the relationship formed.

 

[Mav]

A pretty large group of....more than aquaintances, maybe "casual friends" (one of the benefits [?] of being a Mason), and a handful of close friends...maybe five. Those close friends, however, came from that same group. I've got a similar lifestyle to what a couple guys here have mentioned: I don't golf, I despise sports, hate talking on the phone and don't really do much socially, so I've pretty much locked myself into being something of a loner, unless I have to fulfill a social obligation. Which suits me, actually- as a salesman, I have to talk to/ charm/ manipulate people all day. On my own time, I'd rather read.

 

[HHISIII]

I've got a decent sized circle of acquaintances, a handful or pretty good friends with whom I keep in loose touch (they're spread out across the world now) and my best friend with whom I keep in nearly daily contact. We're both pretty busy guys and text usually ends up being the way to keep in touch for us.

 

[Paisley]

Great thread!

I think of a friend as someone you could call at 2 a.m. and not be hated for it. (I'm not hiding a body for anybody.)

Aristotle said that a friend is just another self--as opposed useful friends and pleasant friends.

To answer the question, I have one good friend I've known for 10 years. People have remarked how different we seem.

 

[Foofoogal]

Moved a lot so have met tons and tons of people.

I have 4 friends and one is a very best friend since 1992.
Of the 4 one is in Illinois, one in Florida and one Idaho and my honey.


Tons of hello how are you friends. I pretty much wear my heart on my sleeve and this has hurt me sometimes. I finally took the advice from one of the 4 friends that you can have different friends for different aspects of your life.
One to drink a cup of tea with and one to bear your soul and intimate details.

The internet friends or acquaintances like at FL and many, many other antique dealers I have come into contact with over the years since 2002 online.
Seen them come and go and it has made me sad at times. I miss some of them.
I always wonder if we would really of been friends in real life.

After moving my goal this year is to find a best friend. I have always had a best friend to run with and such and dearly miss it.

Some really, really smart person needs to make an empty nesters online club or something for each area of the USA or across the world.

Like a dating thing but platonic.
Amazing how when children are young you meet people thru them.

There is meetup, mirl and a few others but locally based so not for everyone.
I put myself out there. I refuse to sit alone. I love people and even though many have disappointed I am like the rubber tree plant. Always looking for the next most interesting person I can find.
------------

I am also trying to reset my brain to not be looking for the same type of people I have always seemingly been attracted to.
People in Arkansas are way, way different than those in Texas and I am trying to adjust to this and accept them.
People so become a product of their environment it is not even funny.

I love mental ping pong I call it. Does not depend on monetary or class even.

 

[Foofoogal]

A true friend doesn't care when you're broke, what you weigh, if your house is a mess, about your past, or if your family is filled with crazies. They love you for who you are. A true friend can go long periods of time without speaking and never question the friendship.
------------------
Someone I know posted this on FB. lol

 

[Chas]

I have a few close friends, a few friendly acquaintances. The ones I could crash with if my home burned down number around the fingers of one hand.

I'm good.

 

[Foofoogal]

The ones I could crash with if my home burned down number around the fingers of one hand.

lol lol yes, this would be the test.

I have had a few that I really thought were my friends evidently more then they did.
Learn a lot from these things. Fair weather friends.

 

[LocktownDog]

No. But thanks for the terribly depressing thought, Dave.

 

[Pompidou]

I've got a handful or two of friends and lots of acquaintances, but I'd be hard pressed to fully define either category - there's a lot of grey.

 

[Mav]

I've got a handful or two of friends and lots of acquaintances, but I'd be hard pressed to fully define either category - there's a lot of grey.

Yeah, agreed. Lots of sub- categories.

 

[flat-top]

Yeah, agreed. Lots of sub- categories.

True. I would invite almost all of my friends over my house, but only a handful over for the holidays.

 

[Yeps]

Nope.

 

[Honey Bee]

Let me see..The Mister....The "Divine Miss Em", the only gal friend I have...the dog...the cat...that's four friends. I guess I'm luckier than most. That's ok, I was an only child and have always liked my own company best
I would rather read, watch old movies, listen to OTR...no one else I know likes to do these thing except the folks here.