do you have many friends?

[Miss sofia]

I'm with you all on the facebook thing, i'm quite private in some respects, i don't really see the point of it for myself, people i want to keep in touch with i email, or we {gasp} write letters or phone. I have enough anxiety in my life without adding social anxiety to the list.

 

[The Lonely Navigator]

^ Yep - after having found out that I don't need to have a Facebook account for my website - that it has it's own sort of mini-social network. I killed my account.

 

[Foofoogal]

In honor of this thread I decided to renew a friendship I sort of dismissed a few years ago. I think I have finally accepted the times and the seasons of friendship.
Life gets in the way for me personally so I have given leeway to those who I expected more out of if that makes any sense.
I have all these unanswered ?'s of what happened with different friendships. Am I the only one?
Were they going thru marriage, kids, money, etc. problems. Did they just feel too swamped in their lives.
I have found envy plays different roles in life. I envy those who have close as in proximity friends. I miss my friends.
I loved them all. All the ones I gave myself to if even for a time. I loved them all. I don't casually befriend and I am extremely loyal. Maybe some just are not. Is it just me?
One of my friends has gone thru much pain. I don't think there is a day that goes by that I so wish I could do something and am helpless. Is it just me?

 

[Dav]

I have to agree with the posters above regarding Facebook I was a member for about ten minutes, of the three people I looked up two weren't there and the one that was I instantly had access to all the people he was in contact with, including two who he told me he hadn't spoken with for years.
Not for me

 

[Miss Scarlet]

I actually like Facebook, contrary to many opinions here. However this is for the selfish reason that I'm lazy. I find it really hard and time consuming to email or text all the people I would like to stay in touch with. Little things like liking a status or commenting quickly on their wall shows that I'm still thinking of them without having to spend half my day writing letters or phoning people. It has also allowed me to spark up old friendships again, which is never a bad thing. I am careful about what I write on there to make sure that people don't know my personal personal business and I tend to ignore others self-indulgent TMI statuses, but overall I find it a useful tool.

 

[The Lonely Navigator]

@ Foofoogal - what you said makes sense to me. I've thought about much the same myself.

General response: I only had two people in my Facebook when I had rejoined...so at that rate it was pretty pointless...because both I can keep in touch with on the forums that I am a member of. [huh]

 

[Foofoogal]

Thank you Prien. They were just as happy as can be to hear from me and want to even come visit. Fine with me.

 

[The Lonely Navigator]

You're Welcome That's cool to hear. I had thought of contacting my friend, but...I don't know. I had last communicated with her almost two months ago. None of my emails were ever replied to so I just figured I'd let it die.[huh]

 

[Miss Golightly]

I have lots of acquaintances but could count my good friends on one hand - these are people that I have known for a good few years (one is a friend since secondary school (high school) - the only friend that I kept in touch with from school/college. I'm not on Facebook or any other networking sites - I wouldn't have the time for it and it's really not my thing anyway.

Since I had my little girl I spend most of my time with her and my husband (I've spent most of my time with him since I met him!) but I make it my business to see my friends as often as I can - if I can't meet with them I'll call or e-mail them. They are very important to me so I make sure to put in the effort to keep in touch with them.

When I was younger it was important to be seen to have have LOADS of friends but as you get older you realise that it's quality over quantity that's important.

 

[Foofoogal]

None of my emails were ever replied to

possibly her email changed. My ISP is giving me fits at the moment. Contract time is coming up. :eusa_doh:

 

[bunnyb.gal]

I'm with you all on the facebook thing, i'm quite private in some respects, i don't really see the point of it for myself, people i want to keep in touch with i email, or we {gasp} write letters or phone. I have enough anxiety in my life without adding social anxiety to the list.

I'll second that emotion. I got talked into signing up to Facebook and I never use the darn thing. It just seems like a facsimile of life to me, as if it just skims over the surface. I actually got a message on FB informing me (and the world at large, so it seems) of a death in the family...the word "inappropriate" comes to mind. I don't like to have all and sundry knowing my business, either.
When someone asks me have I not seen such-and-such on FB I say, no, I'd rather spend my computer time on Fedora Lounge...

Back to topic, I'm a fairly bubbly and optimistic person, but I can't really bear large gatherings of humans. I think I've only felt true loneliness in the company of others. I have a fair amount of people who I connect with through dancing, acquaintances really, but only one person that I think may turn out to be someone I could call a friend. A friend for me is someone you don't ever have to watch your p's & q's with, or fear that they will judge you, and of course that works both ways.
Apart from her, well, I have 3 dogs and as the saying goes...

 

[BinkieBaumont]

"I have an Elegant sufficiency of Chums, consequently I am not accepting any Curriculum Vitae, or expressions of interest, in saying that, whilst adoring my pals, I am positively potty about strangers""

 

[Andykev]

Friends?

And not the TV Show.

I have friends. Often it is a one way street. I am the type that will be your friend, but time shows that I was more of a friend than you were to me. Does that make sense?

I had a LOT of friends at work, but upon retirement, they disappeared! Were they friends?

I had many friends at the airport when I was actively flying. Sadly, many of them are now dead. I am still here, and occasionally, one or two show up. Still very dear to me.

At my current passion, the gun club, which I am the boss, I have a LOT of folks that I consider "friends", yet, I never have them over, and conversely they do not invite me over.

Nevertheless, we enjoy our shared time for our passion of skeet or trap shooting and general joking and story telling.

I have counted few "friends", in that I am quite particular in who that "friend" is.

A "friend" is someone you will unquestionably lend money with no expectation of repayment, without any apprehension.

A "friend" is someone who you would drop everything to go over to lend a hand, whatever that may be.

A "friend" is someone who you would give an eulogy or expect them to reciprocate should you predecease them.

A "friend" is someone who can come over to help your wife with some task, the BBQ, or whatever, and you have no suspicions.

A "friend" is the person you can tell anything to without any fear of ridicule or judgment.

A "friend" is someone you lend your car to, and don't care if it comes back with no gas in it.

With the above measure, I have many friends, yet, with the above measure, few count me as theirs.

Does this make sense?

I am a friend to most I meet. I enjoy people.

 

[Xavier_Godshore]

I think it is a man's lot in life to be chronically lonely. Exceptions of course but it seems that most me, if really pressed to think of true friends could count them on less that 2 fingers at best. Perhaps it is our (my) struggle to truly open up to another man and delve deeper that a shared circle of interests.

X.

 

[The Lonely Navigator]

@ Foofoogal: Well, I do know she's had computer problems on and off. I guess right now, I'm just more focused on taking care of things in my life than really worrying about the subject. I'm managing to get quite a bit done now that I'm just focusing on myself.

It may come off as selfish but...one has to help oneself out first.

 

[Flat Foot Floey]

I have to express another thought here: Acquaintances (and even through the internet) are not bad. In fact they can become important by accident or develop into closer friends.-Of course you have to allow it to yourself to let these things happen.

I like Andykevs posting because he doesn't always expect the worst from people. Yes, some people do change. But maybe we do too...

Misanthropy is a nice way to spoil your own life. [huh]

 

[Smuterella]

A "friend" is someone who can come over to help your wife with some task, the BBQ, or whatever, and you have no suspicions.

Doesn't say much for the trust you have for your wife!

 

[MysteriousRed]

Once I got into my young adult years, I've never been the one to have very many friends. Although, I've always liked the idea of having one great gal pal and a close knit of friends who hung out, made trouble and went places..

Right now, It's just my boyfriend, myself and few of his two guy friends. [huh]

 

[vintage68]

Interesting thread.

My closest friendship is one I've had for 20+ years, but otherwise no, I don't have a lot of friends. I'm friendly and know a lot of people, but I'm not really social in the sense of being an extrovert. When in a relationship I enjoy giving a dinner party and cooking for friends, but I don't seek out company regularly like some people that can't stand to be alone. Being an introvert I like solitude and need alone time to recharge on a regular basis.

 

[The Lonely Navigator]

I'm quite a bit like Vintage68 with regards to being an introvert and needing to 'recharge'. It just takes too much out of me to be around tons of people or to have 'alot' of 'friends'. With my health as it is, I by far just rather a few close ones who I can have meaningful conversations with. I was never one for 'small talk'.

I also agree with Flat Foot Flooey with his statement about online acquaintances. Several years back, I had met someone via a spiritual forum, who was from the UK. We'd chat online and she sent me a glass container of Arnica Gel. This was something I never knew about and was on RX pain-killers at the time (which were worthless in the end). It was all thanks to her that I was really able to help my pain out because that stuff worked better than the pain-killers (as at the time I also had Fibromyalgia). That was my introduction to Homeopathy.