Do You Ever Get Tired of Compliments?

[cgab1]

The most graceful way to accept a compliment is to simply say "thank you" with a sincere, appreciative smile.

cgab

I really never knew a graceful way to take a compliment, except for to smile and say thank you. Being extremely heavy a huge portion of my life, I had insults more than compliments, so now that I have dropped a good 150 lbs, I am starting to get them a little more often. Any advice on how to take them gracefully, without sounding cheezy??? (Zig, I know your opinon... and I love you!!!)

 

[goldwyn girl]

Originally Posted by Joie DeVive
I'm a bit like Amy Jeanne. I grew up with a grandmother whose idea of expressing love is telling me exactly what is wrong with me so I can fix it. I can handle constructive criticism, but when the best you get from Grandma is: "You'd be pretty if you'd just cut your hair..." it gets a little tricky. I honestly spent years believing I was ugly. So, now that I have come to the realization that I'm not, I adore compliments.

That's 100% what my family did to me when I was growing up! I always had a style all my own and their idea of "helping" me overcome this was to say things like "You'd be so much better looking if you did XYZ!" Or my favourite: "You'll NEVER get a boyfriend dressed like that!" I thought I was the ugliest thing on the planet in my pre-teen and teen years Even into my 20s they still treated me like they did when I was 13. They finally left me alone when I met my current husband at age 28.

But, also like you, I know I look good now and have a great style!! After 20some years of my family's nonsense, compliments are a good thing to me now!

I also had this problem especially with my grandmother. Your feet are too big ( I wear a 6.5) what have you done to your hair, you wear to much makeup and on and on it went. Now I know without a doubt that I was an ugly child/teen and then I discovered hair bleach and as a blonde I never looked back. So I love to receive sincere compliments . I do get a litttle tired of "you are so cute" I've passed the cute stage in my mind but I smile and say thankyou just the same. The only real problem I have is if I run into someone I knew years ago, which is rare here, mostly of course in Australia and they compliment me. I know they are being sarcastic and don't mean it at all. So they just get the "look" and I go on my way.
I also like to compliment someone on their look or clothing. It's nice to be able to make someones day too.

 

[Spitfire]

"howyadoin'?" = hello. Usually it doesn't involve actually telling somebody how you're doing.

-Viola

I know it's very usual in US. As Zig says: A LOT.

But I am not in US. I am in Denmark where this american way of robotting "Have a nice day" and "How are you folks doing" has spread.

When somebody says that to me, I might expect that they either means it or expects an answere.:rage:

The first time I heard "Howyadoin" in US, I also started telling the waitres how I was doin....she was not interested, to say the least.

 

[Zig2k143]

The first time I heard "Howyadoin" in US, I also started telling the waitres how I was doin....she was not interested, to say the least.

Lol.... There was a Bud Light Commerical with that as a running joke. It first had some nice Italian American's using that phrase for everything.... Then a few months later it was the same bar and this nice old Southern Gentleman walks in and tells everyone how he is doing when they ask.

 

[Spitfire]

Lol.... There was a Bud Light Commerical with that as a running joke. It first had some nice Italian American's using that phrase for everything.... Then a few months later it was the same bar and this nice old Southern Gentleman walks in and tells everyone how he is doing when they ask.

lol lol lol OK I will sue Budweiser then! Get me a lawyer.lol

 

[gluegungeisha]

I appreciate compliments out of sincerity.

 

[Miss.Beast]

Often times, compliments make me too self-conscious.

I agree. Nothings worse, when on a night out and someone compliments your attire or hair for example, over and over again. And its not a lot of people, it is the same person throwing out these comments...

Could you make one anymore self-conscious?

 

[PADDY]

Never.

Never ever tire of them. Just never seem to get them that often [huh] Hey Ho!

 

[PastimeSteve]

I do understand why excessive compliments can be a problem for our lady friends.

As a guy, though, I say bring it on, as long as it's sincere and not creepy.

Steve

 

[ohairas]

I don't take compliments well. I feel like I'm "center of attention" all of a sudden, like the entire room is looking at me when just one person says something. I get flustered and stumble on my words.

I'm not good at having oral conversations at all, can never think of the right thing to say.
I guess I kinda feel like when I get a compliment I've bragged on myself somehow without saying a word and this makes me very uncomfortable. I've avoided wearing vintage many times because I don't want to stick out. I'm getting better tho, thanks to you all... here at the lounge I feel very comfortable! Thank you everyone!

Nikki

 

[ohairas]

so now that I have dropped a good 150 lbs, I am starting to get them a little more often.

I'm right there with ya Lovely(way to go btw)! I've lost almost 80 and I guess I still feel like the fat girl even tho it's gone, and it's my second time around. Lost over 60 the first time. What I really hate now is "if you lose any more weight you'll disappear...."

Nikki

 

[GoldLeaf]

I used to get the "You would be so pretty without your glasses" or "You would look so much nicer if you just went home and put on something normal." And those came from guys that I think were interested it me! lol

Sincere compliments I appreciate. There are days I get complimented in my office by a couple of different people, but then I don't get one for quite a while, so I know they mean them when they say them.

 

[TheKitschGoth]

"You would look so much nicer if you just went home and put on something normal." And those came from guys that I think were interested it me!

Oh yes, heard that before.. what worries me is that they actually think they are being complimentary by saying it. I did catch one guy out with it before though back when I was at school, he saw me outside of school all dressed up and said something about "how beautiful I'd look if I wasn't dressed so over the top", when I pointed out that he saw me every single day at school wearing normal clothes and no makeup, and that he'd never told me I looked beautiful then.

 

[Miss.Beast]

"You would be so pretty without your glasses" or "You would look so much nicer if you just went home and put on something normal."

I have my bangs/dolly fringe for about 6 months now.
And I'm still getting "You looked so much better with no fringe." or "You looked so much better with your side fringe or quif."

Its like, emmm...thank you very much for making me so self-conscious about my image. Its not like hair grows quick or anything...

 

[GoldLeaf]

Oh yes, heard that before.. what worries me is that they actually think they are being complimentary by saying it. I did catch one guy out with it before though back when I was at school, he saw me outside of school all dressed up and said something about "how beautiful I'd look if I wasn't dressed so over the top", when I pointed out that he saw me every single day at school wearing normal clothes and no makeup, and that he'd never told me I looked beautiful then.

Boys

The one that told me to change - I got him good. He humiliated me at a party, going on and on about how pretty I could be if I would just be "normal." So for class on Monday I put on all my most outrageous punk gear and confronted him in the hall. Gaudy plaid, mohawk up, crazy makeup, spike jewelry, the works.

I told him he either had the guts to say to me sober all the crap he said to me drunk at the party, or he should shut his mouth. If he really thought I was that much of a freak, I would appreciate knowing the truth so I could eliminate him as one of my friends. Hiding behind alcohol to say what he really felt didn't make him a man, it made him a coward, so I gave him the opportunity to be a man and tell me what he thought. He apologized, I patted his cheek with a "good boy" and walked away. The professors in the hall applauded me The crowd cracked up. Heh, karma baby, karma.

 

[Paisley]

All of these "you'd be so pretty if..." statements call for the answer, "I'm sure you mean well." Or "How kind of you to say so."

Not "You'd be so nice if you stopped being a critic." Or "You're pretty--why don't you act pretty?"

...unless you can say it without cattiness.

And good for you, Goldleaf!

 

[GoldLeaf]

Thanks, Paisley. Now I would take your more classy approach. Then, I was just a punk trying to steam roll over people's closed minds. I had to learn grace when my mother-in-law became a part of my family lol

 

[Mildred]

praise

I don't get tired of it but my hubby and 12 year old son do. When we all dress up to go out to eat..they get annoyed by the stares and smiles. My husband wears a nice suit and hat, I am in a dress and my boy wears a bow tie with a barber haircut. All of us look spiffy. People ask us if we are in a play and when I explain this is how we always dress. They are puzzled but nice about it. I think most people are pretty nice but I have had some rude remarks too.

 

[Miss.Beast]

I don't get tired of it but my hubby and 12 year old son do. When we all dress up to go out to eat..they get annoyed by the stares and smiles. My husband wears a nice suit and hat, I am in a dress and my boy wears a bow tie with a barber haircut. All of us look spiffy. People ask us if we are in a play and when I explain this is how we always dress. They are puzzled but nice about it. I think most people are pretty nice but I have had some rude remarks too.

Aww! I'd love a family like that!

 

[PastimeSteve]

Women say these things too!

Just for an equal opportunity moment , I had to interject something here.

I think some of the remarks you ladies have gotten from men are ridiculous. However, women have said some pretty silly things to me.

Some of the comments I've gotten from women over the years(a couple of these are obviously from my single days):

"You're kind of cute, but you're too short and you have a baby face."

"If you grew some facial hair, you'd look SO much more distinguished."

"What happened to your butt?" lol

"You need to put on some weight."

"You look 18." You'd think that would be a compliment, but not in this case.

Steve