Do ladies really have to dress old & frumpy after a certain age...?

[PADDY]

This was a conversation I was having with some folks recently, and how 'society' seems to expect women to dress and behave as they get much older (eg: 50's plus). So, no short skirts, no cleavage, no bright colours, no trendy hairstyles..etc, etc. It's almost as if society doesn't allow women to be glamorous, sexy, in tune with fashion..etc, after a certain age [huh] (and in some ways that goes for men as well as they/we get older).

So, do you know someone in your family/friends/work colleagues who likes to 'buck the system' and dress-to-impress, and be a free/young spirit, and sod the date on their birth certificates?

I'll start off, as I was back 'home' fairly recently and went out with my mum (this lady was in Buckingham Palace during WWII to see her brother decorated by King George VI..!). She's now in her 80's and still loves to go to Dublin on the train to see live theatre, and research the cocktail lounges! Some would say..."Oh you should be sitting in a corner knitting scarves and wearing and old cardigan with a cat on your lap...! dress your age!!" Haha...God help anyone that said that to her face!!

She is second from the right (beside the dashing Captain) towards the latter stages of WWII...

And now...in 2009...(Darn...I look older!!!)

 

[Smuterella]

"Oh you should be sitting in a corner knitting scarves and wearing and old cardigan with a cat on your lap...! dress your age!!"

I like old cardigans, I have several.

 

[Jennifer Lynn]

I have a few cardigans myself (they beat wearing a jacket when it gets cool here in Florida). I think it's more of a state of mind that can pull a person into the old lady or guy visage. Though yes, sometimes what one wears can make them look older (or just plain frumpier).

Paddy - Your mum looks amazing! She does not look like she's in her 80's.

 

[ThesFlishThngs]

I've been thinking about this topic, especially after reading others' thoughts in the 'aging' thread. Is there a fateful time of life when one awakes and suddenly stocks up on mail-order, doubleknit pantsuits? I don't know, but I hope not.
Having passed 40, I find myself rethinking some wardrobe choices. Partly I've shifted my style over the years, but partly there are things I'd like to wear but I question if they will make me look like I'm trying to pass for my daughter's sister. So, bit by bit, certain flirty, saucy garments have been retired (at least from public view ), but I think I'm still managing to retain my own style and sense of self. That elusive concept that's difficult to completely pin down and define - aging gracefully.
I wear more dresses and skirts than ever before because they're fun, comfortable, easy to accessorize and dress up or dress down, but I reserve the right to slip on my shabby old Levis or modern skinny jeans (sans muffin tops of course) when the mood suits.

My mother has just turned 69. She runs her own business (not a knitting factory!), hauls her own firewood at her Colorado country home, and buys most of her clothes on senior day at thrift shops, to get the best bargain. I don't believe she owns a frumpy item of clothing, let alone anything doubleknit or polyester!
This is her last Thanksgiving:

 

[LaMedicine]

I turned 60 this June
I dress to please myself, to inspire trust (due to my career) and health and vivacity, but not to please others. I don't wear miniskirts because my leges aren't made for them, and I don't wear clothes that are too revealing because that doesn't go with my character, but I sure don't choose my clothes because society says that it's fit/not fit for my age.
Here I am a joint birthday party with another June baby. The red cap and vest is the symbol of Kanreki, the 60th birthday here.

And another at the same party. Alll save for the lady on the far left are 60, as the five of us are high school class mates. Do we dress frumpy? You be the judge.

 

[C-dot]

Not a frump in sight, LaMedicine

Great topic, Paddy. Trinny & Susannah's Undress the Nation did a show on Age. They took a bunch of frumpy old ladies and made them look fabulous! It's one of my very favourite things they've done - Really takes the fear out of getting old.

I believe people pay too much attention to that date on their birth certificates!

 

[kamikat]

My mom bucks the system in many ways, but not in her clothing. However, she's never followed clothing trends, has always been kind of frumpy. But, she is a Judo instructor, competes at the national level in Judo, runs every day and plays tennis a couple times per week.

 

[Foofoogal]

I hope cardigans don't make me look frumpy. I swear I am totally addicted to them. The one vintage item I have to have.
http://sandysfancypants.blogspot.com

 

[Amy Jeanne]

NO WAY. Dress how you like. At any age. I dress like a young old lady -- that's just what I like. If the "old lady" wants to dress like a 25 year old, LET HER. Look at older Mae West and Anita Page! Fabulous!!

 

[Antje]

I don't see why someone cannot dress like she feels to.
If you feel that you wanna wear something than wear it.
I wouldn't mind what people would say.
( I don't mind now either I just do my own things)

 

[pretty faythe]

My mum turned 59 in June. The only time she looks "frumpy" is when she's doing her Saturday morning chores lol
This was her in May, after a long day at Knotts Berry Farm.

And the day before that Hunington Beach

 

[SayCici]

I don't think women have to dress old and frumpy, but I do think society, like you said, doesn't expect them to be active or care what they look like as they rack on the years.

"It's almost as if society doesn't allow women to be glamorous, sexy, in tune with fashion..etc, after a certain age"

They don't! Or they don't want them to be seen as sexy, at least. In Western society, aging in men is wonderful - they become wise, distinguished, experienced, and they are "silver foxes" when they go gray. In women, it's seen as an illness that needs to be corrected and hidden, and they don't typically remain "cougars" after their 40s. No one cares when a young 20-something year old marries a man older than her father, but people would balk if that was reversed.

 

[Kitty_Sheridan]

Well, I like to call it 'Beige disease' or 'Taupus maximus' it starts with the belief that you must have your lovely long hair cut into an unfeminine bubble perm, then rid your wardrobe of anything in a rich colour.
Buy a zip up beige/taupe/mushroom windcheater and a pair of those shoes from the sunday supplement 'we dare you to wear them out!' (that's a style challenge, not a testimony to their hardiness)

Thankfully, my mother lives in Jaeger and dresses to suit herself. she is 73 and walks about 20 + miles a week. she is never at home as she has so many activities. She has a lovely classic style, linen suits and well cut trousers....think Lauren Bacall or Judi Dench.

Age is only a number. My other half lost his mum last year at the age of 53. Enjoy it! It's not a dress rehearsal.

Paddy, your mum looks super fun in that wedding photo! :eusa_clap edit: ALL the ladies here look gorgeous! La Medicine, WOW! and Tseflshthings, your ma reminds me of a French film star!

 

[Lillemor]

I have a preference for the styles most women in their 70s are discarding for more youthful, colorful and daring styles. I have lots of knits and wool skirts with plaid patterns, pepita patterns and pin stripes that you don't even see on old ladies anymore.

Though my hair naturally lends itself to it if cut short enough, I don't really care for the short, spiky hairstyles I've been seeing every where on women over 50 for the past decade. I'm also grateful that more women over 40 are keeping their hair long.

 

[The Shirt]

My mum is going on 70. I don't think she goes for frumpy but she is pretty conservative usually in her dress. She is very fashion forward for her age though. No polyester or track suits in sight. She keeps her hair pretty short but I think that is due primarily to a change in texture more than a desire for helmet hair. She's also just always worn it short from the time she grew up in the 50s.

 

[LizzieMaine]

My mother is a militant believer in the Menopausal Helmet, and has been after me about it ever since I passed 40, but she's fighting a losing battle there. With my ears and a short haircut I look like a taxicab with both doors open. No thanks.

The beige thing isn't something I see a lot of around here -- and it's surprising, since the majority of this town's population is well over 50. Instead, the thing for the older ladies here is to go around in bright fuschia or ultramarine blue novelty sweatshirts with puffy printed designs. It's the young hipster types who wouldn't be caught dead in bright colors. Usually you see them in black, or if it's springtime, maybe a festive charcoal grey.

 

[ThesFlishThngs]

My mother is a militant believer in the Menopausal Helmet, and has been after me about it ever since I passed 40, but she's fighting a losing battle there. With my ears and a short haircut I look like a taxicab with both doors open. No thanks.

The beige thing isn't something I see a lot of around here -- and it's surprising, since the majority of this town's population is well over 50. Instead, the thing for the older ladies here is to go around in bright fuschia or ultramarine blue novelty sweatshirts with puffy printed designs. It's the young hipster types who wouldn't be caught dead in bright colors. Usually you see them in black, or if it's springtime, maybe a festive charcoal grey.

That's funny. No offense to any educator in the Lounge, but my daughter calls that look "teacher clothes"; big bright seasonally decorated sweatshirts, often accessorized with matching pins, earrings, sneakers. You can see a great concentration of them at craft shows.

As for hair, I'd have mine long all my life, even as a tom boy. In my childhood, it seemed the high school girls cut theirs off when they graduated, or at least when they married or had kids. I hated that seeming symbol of "I'm an adult now, I have no time for long flowing locks."
Finally, though, after a particularly hot, sticky summer of art shows, I realized mine was becoming more of a pain than an asset. Nervously, I had the Mr. trim it to my shoulders (though it ended up a bit shorter as he kept getting it uneven). Since then, I've played with short, funky, artsy styles, but each time (about once a year) I get a cut, I stress to the stylist, "please don't make me look like a suburban soccer mom, please!"

 

[Paisley]

I think you can have long hair at any age, but past a certain stage in life, it looks a lot better when it's trimmed and styled.

I've noticed for a long time that women tend to cut their hair when they get pregnant--and it's usually not a flattering cut. I don't get it.

 

[Grant Fan]

I think when people or at least when I say dress your age I mean the followoing. Certain things stop looking right when you get to a certain point. Like for example i have clothes that my mom would just look silly in, like my shorts, they are just too short for her. But I think you should be fashionable at any age. It drives me nuts when women dress frumpy as they get older, there is no reason to stop looking cute. I have a co worker I found out today is in her 40s I though she was in her late 20's and most of that had to do with the fact that she takes pride in her appearance and is fashionable.

 

[kamikat]

I think you can have long hair at any age, but past a certain stage in life, it looks a lot better when it's trimmed and styled.

There are 2 older ladies at my church with very nice hair. One has a pure white swingline bob (that means shorter in the back, angled down in front) with not a single hair out of place. The other wears a very classic 50's wetset, curled on top with the long hair in back brushed up and held up with combs. Her hair is my inspiration during my growing out when my hair is not quite long enough for a french twist.

I've noticed for a long time that women tend to cut their hair when they get pregnant--and it's usually not a flattering cut. I don't get it.

Most women run really hot during pregnancy. During my second, I couldn't bear waking up in the middle of the winter nights with sweat just pouring down my neck so I cut it all off myself. As for why new moms might then keep it short after we finish baking some babies, in addition to not really having time and energy to take care of ourselves, babies like to grab long hair and ear rings. There was a period of about 5 years when I never wore ear rings after my first son nearly ripped one out of my ear.

The hair question always confuses me. I don't understand why it's a big deal. My hair has been short all my life. I have super thick hair and my mom, with very thin hair, never knew what to do with it so she cut it short. Then, in 7th grade I got it cut like Pat Benatar and it stayed that short. For a couple years in high school, I had it clipper cut on a number 2. The only time in my life when it was long was about 4 years ago and only because I had a toddler and new born and didn't have time to get it cut for nearly 2 years. When I look at pictures of myself, even if I was dressed nicely and had makeup on, the look was awful. I'm just not suited to long hair. I don't think a woman has to have long hair to have a youthful hair style.