dear new neighbor

[John in Covina]

Will not get on my soap box but monetary wealth is not always an indicator of this. Poor in spirit, yes.

I'll be glad to take you on a tour of the Projects where the gangs are, and boondocks where all the meth labs are when you visit California. Two things out here that tends to be precursers to poor ways un-wed mothers raising a family and long term inter generational dependence on government relief. where the safety net is now a hammock.

 

[Foofoogal]

I understand totally what you are saying but I come from an era and background that poverty is not an excuse for trashiness or lack of morals and/or such.
I was taught everyone can use a bar of soap.
No. 9 of 11 so I have seen it all. I am sure by now everyone on FL has heard it all from me also.
Actually makes me livid when I see those use this as an excuse.
Poor ole me never got anyone anywhere.

 

[kyboots]

I grew up blue collar from rural kentucky, but from day one my parents encouraged an education and hard work. I believed this, still do, and did it. My two children in college hear this daily when they are home. Unfortunately we don't have those parents encouraging this as much anymore. It is too easy to be "entitled" and expect things to be given to you without working. This is the wrong way. You don't develop self esteem and equality by "gifting." This discussion is now way beyond the scope of the internet. Changes need to be made.-----John

 

[John in Covina]

Actually makes me livid when I see those use this as an excuse. Poor ole me never got anyone anywhere.

Exactly! One of the greatest changes in a person's attitude that can lead to a better life and success is to move from being a victim to taking responsibility.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

Poor people have poor ways is what a friends mom used to say. I have trailer park white trash next door now and they have a sense of entitlement, lack the concepts of not using your stuff with out permission, scream obscenities at each other in the front yard at all hours and leave trash all over. The kids leave their stuff all over the entire neighborhood.

Sounds a lot like some upper middle class McMansion trash, too.

Trashy behavior and a lack of respect and class (as in character, not social caste) can be witnessed in any social group.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

I'll be glad to take you on a tour of the Projects where the gangs are, and boondocks where all the meth labs are when you visit California. Two things out here that tends to be precursers to poor ways un-wed mothers raising a family and long term inter generational dependence on government relief. where the safety net is now a hammock.

I grew up in a project. I'm fine, thanks.

Another precursor to poor ways (or, to be more exact, a sense of entitlement) is to grow up without having to face natural consequences of poor behaviors. Again, that can be seen in any socioeconomic group.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

lol great suggestions but how about legal yet effective ways of getting neighbors to show some respect? anyone have any ideas?

I love your sense of humor! I once had neighbors just like yours. When I called the cops they had a scanner so they always knew in advance. When the cops showed up they'd just not answer the door. CPS came on occasion and nothing worked...not even the mother. She was living on the dole while she partied and left her kids alone. One day they gambled the mortgage and lost! They had to move. Happy day!

Sometimes there is nothing you can do but make the best of it which includes a wicked sense of humor.

 

[John in Covina]

You've got to change your evil ways

Far be it from me to suggest it but there are several Revenge books that can suggest any number of ways to inconvenience and upset your neighbors with out tipping your hand. The only problem with such behavior is it takes you to their level but worse is that fact you know better than to engage in this behavior.

:eeek::rage::mad2::rant::nono::censored:
One thing you can do is if you happen to know their address phone number and one or more email addresses is to fill out every free giveaway form you can find. Like the free drawing for a car at the shopping mall. This information is used by companies to produce sales leads and the companies that buy these leads can be ruthlessly incessant in their pursuit of contacts. Same thing for online or any type of ask for a free quote where you can provide their information. You can reach a critical mass where phone calls voice mail and emails can overwhelm them. But I am saying you really should not do this.

Here is one if you can figure out how to work it. If they go to they bank and make deposits by the teller inside. Figure out a way to write on the back of their deposit slip they will use: "I have a gun give me all of the money" Be careful , no finger prints or a way to trace it back to you. Works like a charm every time.

 

[sheeplady]

Exactly! One of the greatest changes in a person's attitude that can lead to a better life and success is to move from being a victim to taking responsibility.

I agree with this entirely. If person does not like their life or circumstances, they have the ability to change them. I've met way too many people in life who have a "poor me" attitude. I have to add that the majority of people I've met that think "poor me" about themselves are actually upper middle or upper class, and think they deserve more than what they have, but are not willing to work or make sacrifices for what they want.

For me, what differentiates trash from everyone else is that people who are trash have no respect for themselves, their things, or other people. I've met trash at every income level. Trash doesn't take care of their home or the things that they have- everyone can keep their yard and home relatively neat, stay out of other people's yards, and teach their kids (and themselves have) basic manners. Being abusive (verbal or physical) towards oneself, other people, or your own family makes you extremely trashy in my opinion.

 

[dnjan]

I grew up in a project. I'm fine, thanks.

When I was in Grad school, I would normally walk through a fairly depressed neighborhood on the way from where I was living to campus.
The little kids I would see out playing on the sidewalk always said hi to me, addressing me either as honkie or sir. I always thought the sir to be quite interesting, as I was in my early 20's at the time.
Of course I took a different route home in the evening, especially when it was dark out ...

 

[scottyrocks]

Its not just the projects. Kids out here in the suburbs are just as able to be entitlement princes and princesses. Many kids dont need much excuse to be self-centered. Its kind of in their nature. Growing out of it depends on many things.

Of course, you dont need to be poor/urban to have the entitlement mentality. Kids who come from lots of money have it, too. Its just that the sense of the source of the goodies is from a different place - family for the wealthy, and society for the poor.

Although I will qualify the above by saying that there are large numbers of people from both groups who grow up and make self-sufficient lives for themselves. The odds of success, though, are with the wealthy, in both percentage of people achieving success, and in actual dollars earned. These outcomes are no doubt a significant part of the driving force behind the greater tendency of the less wealthy to 'give up,' becoming dependent on society, and the further down the socio-economic scale you look, the greater is this tendency.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

When I was in Grad school, I would normally walk through a fairly depressed neighborhood on the way from where I was living to campus.
The little kids I would see out playing on the sidewalk always said hi to me, addressing me either as honkie or sir. I always thought the sir to be quite interesting, as I was in my early 20's at the time.
Of course I took a different route home in the evening, especially when it was dark out ...

Interesting....

Now that I think of it, when I was in graduate school, I was usually described by as "the polite one." I never took anything for granted and strove to be the person whom I wanted to be and not what my circumstances conspired to shape me into.

 

[John in Covina]

How we treat others and what our consideration of others remains a telling insight as to the true nature of a person. Personality has 2 parts Nature and Nurture both can strongly affect ones attitudes. Most of us in some way become our parents as the greatest example of life style and attitude, a percentage don't. One can change to a degree over time and learn to be bad or good but the shift I think tends to be small at first. Many people have some type of genetic or character flaw and when the circumstances are right (or actually wrong) there is a momentary lapse that then gets repeated as in alcoholism or drug abuse. The shift in ones focus and value system then becomes a detriment to oneself and those around them.

I always like the warning for parents: "When it comes to learning and teaching about love, how to treat one another and what is truly valuable in ones life, be careful what you teach your kids because there is a good chance they will be picking the home or assisted living situation you will spend your twilight years in."

 

[HepKitty]

As for the whole "Me" culture, it's pathetic. You (and you and you and everyone else) are not the only person in the world and you really can't live without other people, who, oddly enough, are just as important as you but not there to wait on you hand and foot. I can't stand the lack of simple things like "please" and "thank you." It's not difficult. But yes it's getting so uncommon that I've had strangers nearly fall apart when they heard my kids saying "please." They were at least appreciative.

Poor is certainly a state of mind, not necessarily a state of bank account.

Exactly! One of the greatest changes in a person's attitude that can lead to a better life and success is to move from being a victim to taking responsibility.

Ohso true! You can't necessarily control what others do to you, but you can control how you react and how you deal. In fact, it IS your responsibility :jaw:

Stunning concept, isn't it

I love your sense of humor! I once had neighbors just like yours. When I called the cops they had a scanner so they always knew in advance. When the cops showed up they'd just not answer the door. CPS came on occasion and nothing worked...not even the mother. She was living on the dole while she partied and left her kids alone. One day they gambled the mortgage and lost! They had to move. Happy day!

Sometimes there is nothing you can do but make the best of it which includes a wicked sense of humor.

I don't these people are smart enough to know what a scanner is. There was a mommy van with US govt plates visiting a few weeks ago, and I was so tempted to leave a note on the car asking them not to believe the illusions they are no doubt creating to keep sponging off the welfare system. I mean, they already make money by selling drugs, why do they need to beg for handouts too? Aren't they enough of a burden to society as it is? And if they do want free room and board, why don't they consider jail as an option?

John, speaking of modifying evil ways, I still look at their cars and dream of skunk oil

 

[HepKitty]

Interesting....

Now that I think of it, when I was in graduate school, I was usually described by as "the polite one." I never took anything for granted and strove to be the person whom I wanted to be and not what my circumstances conspired to shape me into.

:eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap

 

[rue]

Unfortunately the "ME" generation grew up and some have now had children. The world revolves around the "ME Generation" and their wants, needs and desires. They are intolerant of others or their feelings or needs. It is the norm for many of this generation and others "be damned". The insensitivity of the "Me's" to other people is unbelievable, but it is a part of many in this new generation. These people have never matured emotionally, and as John pointed out many are now "the entitled" generation. In many ways we have lost the polite, kind and socially aware individuals of the past generation. What caused this can be debated for hours ----John

I missed the 'me generation' by one year being born in 69', but mine isn't much better being 'generation x'. My husband and I are nothing like our generation and I think it's sad how most of them are nowadays.

 

[thunderw21]

The Pretensions of Poverty
Henry David Thoreau

Thou dost presume too much, poor needy wretch,
To claim a station in the firmament
Because thy humble cottage, or thy tub,
Nurses some lazy or pedantic virtue
In the cheap sunshine or by shady springs,
With roots and pot-herbs; where thy right hand,
Tearing those humane passions from the mind,
Upon whose stocks fair blooming virtues flourish,
Degradeth nature, and benumbeth sense,
And, Gorgon-like, turns active men to stone.
We not require the dull society
Of your necessitated temperance,
Or that unnatural stupidity
That knows nor joy nor sorrow; nor your forc'd
Falsely exalted passive fortitude
Above the active. This low abject brood,
That fix their seats in mediocrity,
Become your servile minds; but we advance
Such virtues only as admit excess,
Brave, bounteous acts, regal magnificence,
All-seeing prudence, magnanimity
That knows no bound, and that heroic virtue
For which antiquity hath left no name,
But patterns only, such as Hercules,
Achilles, Theseus. Back to thy loath'd cell;
And when thou seest the new enlightened sphere,
Study to know but what those worthies were.

 

[Feraud]

The Me Generation reminds me of the roaring 20s. Nothing new under the sun.

 

[rue]

The Me Generation reminds me of the roaring 20s. Nothing new under the sun.

Yes, I think we are definitely repeating ourselves and most are too busy making a mess to notice.

 

[John in Covina]

The "those that don't know history are doomed to repeat it" quote is a valid today as ever. So many people don't know history as well as values or morals. Makes for some fun times when you are old enough to know history so you can predict the future since it's a basic repeat of the past.