Dealing with rude people

[VintageJess]

Money

I've also noticed that a lot of people my age (mid to late 20s) seem to have no clue that it is considered rude and tacky to talk about money. I can't tell you how often I've encountered people (practically strangers) who ask or comment about house prices, car payments, salaries, bonuses, or other such things. And as far as I can tell, it always seem to be out of basic nosiness or bragging--never genuine questions for knowledge purposes.

Am I the only one who was raised to believe that discussing such things is fftopic: ?

I usually give a little smile, shrug and play dumb: "Oh, you know me, I don't worry my pretty little head with all of that numbers nonsense..." lol

Jessica

 

[KAT]

Germans do not wait in line. Whether in Berlin or Disney World.
They have evolved the ability to enter a bus six abreast!

you know me very well..i did that in the US and my "american friend" told me to stop thatlol i didnt even notice[huh]

 

[Maj.Nick Danger]

An increasingly larger subsect of the population believes that the world revolves around them and will be unlikely to change their behavior no matter what you do, so the situations become matters of what amuses you.

Caveat - it's still technically illegal to use a steel hankerchief on fools (anyone remember POLITENESS MAN ?


A sample of PolitenessMan
http://www.flickr.com/photos/alberto1138/50360557/

Politeness Man should be our spokesman! lol

I used to read that strip in National Lampoon.

 

[artdecodame]

We dont wanna get into the detail lol

Which region of the country are you from, by the way??

 

[Lady Day]

I gots a knot as well, my friend.

Now, I work in retail, and I got a knot in my stomach because I deal with these types every day, those who feel "entitled".

Tell me about it. I sold computers to rich people who wanted the most expensive thing they could get so their wife could check eMail, and then they would want a discount saying "Im buying this expensive machine . . . ."

Living in the citay, you generally have four types of people, the rich ones who think their time is too valuable to conform to basic conventions of common sense like first come first served, two: the non rich ones who do that, three: the crazy, as in need meds/ homeless ones, and four: the ones who have worked retail and know that this isnt the most important thing in life. They are my kindred, people with perspective.

Generally when I get a person in line who is barking, and Im in line too and the person up ahead is doing their job, I just say, "Calm down its just a line. At least youre not at the Post Office." If its a line at the Post office, I just prey I dont brake someones neck for being one of the people listed above.


LD

 

[decodoll]

Germans do not wait in line. Whether in Berlin or Disney World.
They have evolved the ability to enter a bus six abreast!

I always thought it was just the opposite! I remember in high school German class being told that in Germany you'd be reprimanded for something as small as not waiting in line to cross the street! But then that teacher did leave Germany shortly after WWII. Things must have changed!

 

[KAT]

This is the basis of intercultural conflict, or cultural barriers.Foreigners tend to think that the Germans are rude, but actually they're just very direct. A German will almost always let you know what he/she really thinks.
Germans are considered arrogant, because their language apparently sounds arrogant, and because they tend to know everything better:whistling (although they don't). lol

Like every other culture, the Germans also have a code of conduct. But what is polite or impolite is unfortunately not always a 100 per cent compatible across borders. It all starts with the management of our expectations.

I could go on and on with this and give a bunch of examples about "rude and polite" but i think i should leave it that way

 

[KAT]

Which region of the country are you from, by the way??

The west part, WESEL, D?ºsseldorf, K??ln, Bonn, 20 minutes from the dutch border, 2 hours to Amsterdam
http://www.welt-atlas.de/datenbank/karten/karte-1-185.gif
http://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/maps/gm-map.gif

 

[ArrowCollarMan]

The rudest people on earth these days are teenaged girls.

True dat. Too often am I faced with that. Usually it involves really bad insults (usually references to homosexuality) and the classic "Was anybody talking to you?!" And most often anybody was talking to me. Also, they can be the moodiest creatures in existence. With the past two girlfriends I've had I havn't been doing anything right. I tried to be a good boyfreind, do things for them, please them in general but its never good enough. Is that considered being rude or just inexorable?

But the thing that is worse and that I utterly loathe is the word "nevermind". I encounter that trillions of times a day.

Me: Wait, what do you mean by that?
Person: Nevermind...

Me: Whats wrong?
Person: Nothing, nevermind.

Me: I don't get it.
Person: Nevermind!

Me: What were you saying earlier?
Person: Nevermind!

Me: Interesting story, but who was that one guy? What happens next?
Person: Nevermind!!

Me: Sorry, I couldn't hear you.
Person: Nevermind.

Me: Please explain, I don't understand all of that.
Person: If you don't get it the first time its not worth explaining.
or
Person: ...You can't explain it, you just need to understand it so NEVERMIND.

This is from a vast array of people. Everyone just gives up. I find that incredibly rude. When I show any misunderstanding its suddenly not worth explaining and the whole topic should just be crushed. I'm not stupid but I sure get treated like it.

 

[Baron Kurtz]

Like every other culture, the Germans also have a code of conduct. But what is polite or impolite is unfortunately not always a 100 per cent compatible across borders. It all starts with the management of our expectations.

Exactly. I'm always mildly amused by the concept of personal space, let's say, on a crowded omnibus. "you're too close to me" won't have much effect. There's nowhere to go. I see the absolute absurd extreme of this in the corridors of my work building. A male and a female will stand against opposite walls to talk to each other - making me seem very rude for having to walk between the talking people. So scared of being accused of invading personal space

bk

 

[KAT]

Long but worth reading http://langlab.uta.edu/german/personal/rings/Americans.And.Germans/Intro.html

 

[Hiram]

Cell phones!

They're wonderful and amazing, but people who use them rudely drive me up a wall.

On the bus, people chatter away loudly—louder than they would in a normal conversation, because they think if they raise their voice they'll be able to hear the other person better—and talk about things they wouldn't otherwise talk about in public. Things like doctor appointments and the reasons for them.

Sometimes I just stare at them. Sometimes I lean in as if I were following the conversation. I've considered taking notes. I'm waiting, just waiting, for someone to say "Do you mind? This is a private conversation."

 

[Matthew Dalton]

I generally don't notice people's rudeness unless it's directed at me personally. One thing I do notice though is the way people on the job are treated by customers. No please or thanks or courtesy with the reason listed as "Well, they get paid for that."
I would agree that teenaged girls are the worst. But they'll have nothing on today's children in a few years.

 

[Johnnysan]

I always thought it was just the opposite! I remember in high school German class being told that in Germany you'd be reprimanded for something as small as not waiting in line to cross the street! But then that teacher did leave Germany shortly after WWII. Things must have changed!

They sure must have! My mother is an Italian war bride who also came to the States shortly after WWII. We traveled back to Italy together in 2000. Throughout my formative years, my mother always stressed politeness, formality and respect...especially for my elders. I was shocked to learn when we arrived overseas that much of what I had come to expect from Europeans in the way of common courtesy and civility had apparently not survived the passage of time.

Although older men (70+) and middle aged women (50+) would offer my 80-year old mother a seat on the train or the bus, younger men and women (under 50) ignored her and acted as if their butts were permenantly attached to their seat. I did find most shopkeepers, hotel staff and retail clerks to be polite and helpful, but the average "man on the street" was somewhat lacking by midwestern standards.

While I was generally tolerant, I did responded to one incident in Milan. Two fashionably dressed young men in their twenties were busily hurrying down a crowded street coming towards us. An older woman who was roughly my mom's age, was pushing a small hand cart ahead of them and was obviously not very spry. Instead of giving her any quarter, they charged around her and in brushing past her, knocked her off balance and almost to the pavement - all without so much as a glance.

As they approached, this "typically rude American" took his half out of the center and this obnoxious little twit caught my shoulder full in the side of his head. He bounced off the opposing stone wall as I moved past...or rather, through, him. He and his friend turned as if to challenge me, took one look at my 6'2", 255 lb. bulk, did a quick calculation on the mathematics of the situation (force=mass x acceleartion) and decided that discretion was the better part of valor.

I turned to find shocked looks on the faces of everyone on the street, including my mother. Everyone, that is, except for one broadly grinning older lady who was pushing her small hand cart past me. I tipped my hat to her, said "Buon giorno, signora" and smiled as she patted my arm on the way by.

 

[Maj.Nick Danger]

Long but worth reading http://langlab.uta.edu/german/personal/rings/Americans.And.Germans/Intro.html

Wow, Germans are much more polite than Americans! I didn't realize, but then I have never talked to any Germans. [huh]

 

[flat-top]

One thing I do notice though is the way people on the job are treated by customers. No please or thanks or courtesy with the reason listed as "Well, they get paid for that."

Ugh! Being in retail, the amount of abuse I've taken is not to be believed. After witnessing the screaming man yesterday, I reported to work and, in a Twilight Zone style turn of events, I was promoted to merchandiser, which means, you guessed it, NO MORE customer service!

 

[Story]

As they approached, this "typically rude American" took his half out of the center and this obnoxious little twit caught my shoulder full in the side of his head. He bounced off the opposing stone wall as I moved past...or rather, through, him. He and his friend turned as if to challenge me, took one look at my 6'2", 255 lb. bulk, did a quick calculation on the mathematics of the situation (force=mass x acceleartion) and decided that discretion was the better part of valor.

I turned to find shocked looks on the faces of everyone on the street, including my mother. Everyone, that is, except for one broadly grinning older lady who was pushing her small hand cart past me. I tipped my hat to her, said "Buon giorno, signora" and smiled as she patted my arm on the way by.

You horrid "Ugly American". You've just justified the existence of a platoon of State Department twonks.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/mai...ur16.xml&sSheet=/news/2006/04/16/ixworld.html


Good job.

 

[Miss Neecerie]

Ugh! Being in retail, the amount of abuse I've taken is not to be believed. After witnessing the screaming man yesterday, I reported to work and, in a Twilight Zone style turn of events, I was promoted to merchandiser, which means, you guessed it, NO MORE customer service!

Congrats!

 

[Maj.Nick Danger]

With the past two girlfriends I've had I havn't been doing anything right. I tried to be a good boyfreind, do things for them, please them in general but its never good enough. Is that considered being rude or just inexorable?

It's not a case of "never good enough". Quite the contrary, you are dealing with creatures that have not yet found themselves, and as such have virtually ZERO self esteem. I think they just can't understand why someone would actually treat them nicely. I blame it on the "ideals" that they are inundated with by the media, "ideals" that no one can ever realistically hope to live up to. I know women in their 30's that are still the same,....
But don't despair, there are still a few nice ones out there.

 

[magneto]

Unfortunately I have a long-term timidity problem, but lately I'm making an effort to smile broadly (with clenched teeth) at the offender and say "EXCUSE you".
I think I've already told the story about the teenage girl I saw on the train who soundly slapped the young male oaf who shoved past her without an apology or "excuse me". Although her methods were deplorable I sort of admired the sentiment