Dating in 2019

[Carolina_Girl]

I can't be the only one that's single and having a hard time finding anyone that has anything in common with them or likes any of the same things?

Right?

I admit I have some old fashioned beliefs and have "weird" taste in music, clothing, etc
But I can't be the only one having this issue, right?

Where and how does someone that's interested in vintage things/lifestyle find someone in today's world?

 

[GHT]

Welcome to the Lounge, it's good to see more ladies here. We might be a couple of generations apart, but what worked in my day, will probably work in yours. Dancing is a great way of meeting new people, making new friends and, who knows, meeting that someone special. I'm UK based, but a quick search, in your area, of the type of dancing that might appeal to you revealed this site. http://www.swingasheville.com/ Check it out, even if it's not near you, just look at the ages of the people there. Then check this one out: https://www.gottaswingcharlotte.com/ Again, the age group is of a much younger generation.
But for a really enjoyable time, try a weekend festival, where there's a lot going on, dancing of course, but you will find hair stylist of the era, stall holders and vintage traders and so much more. I found this in your State, good luck and I hope that helps:
http://bullcityswingout.com/

 

[Mark70]

Here's a link to a swing dance up in Raleigh every Sunday night from 6-10 at the Elks club on Leadmine Rd. I've not yet gone there but it really sounds like a great time. Here's another link to the Carolina Dance Club's calendar of events. They've got a lot going on.

Surely there's a wide range of folks that go to events like this. Never know, you just might run in to others with a taste for the vintage life. Hope this helps!

 

[Carolina_Girl]

I'm all the way on the coast. All of these places (as amazing as they sound) will take me 3-8 hours to get to

 

[GHT]

I'm all the way on the coast. All of these places (as amazing as they sound) will take me 3-8 hours to get to

Just Google Lindy Hop classes in your area. Then try looking for swing-jive festivals in and around an acceptable travelling distance.

 

[Edward]

Pretty much. Go places where there will be other people doing the things you like, and you can meet people with whom you have things in common. Enjoy those activities for their own sake. I met somebody doing that - ironically, when I no longer wanted to and was perfectly happy on my own, but c'est la vie!

 

[The Jackal]

I've been divorced for about a year and half, separated 2 years before that.
I've done the dating app thing. I've done the go to conventions/places where like minded people are thing.

What I've decided is that "looking" isn't really something that works for me. I figure I'll strike up conversation with someone worthwhile along the way and see where that goes.

 

[Amy Jeanne]

I met my current BF on OKCupid (of all places). Yea, I got hit up mostly by a bunch of stupid "f*ckboys" and LOTS of idiots who started off with "I like older women!". I found mine on complete accident. He's 47 -- I'm 43. He never made lewd conversation before I even met him in person LOL. We have fitness and kitsch in common. He has an appreciation for vintage-y stuff, but his main love is cycling. I've been with him 13 months now and we live together. He is the sweetest, funniest, calmest, most wonderful man there could be. We have a lot of fun together.

 

[scotrace]

I've met most of the women I've dated through doing community theatre, so here's another vote for getting together with people of similar interest.
In fact, those I did NOT meet that way either didn't prove to be lasting relationships, or were very serious wrong turns that did and shouldn't have.

 

[MikeBravo]

In the old days, people met at dances. I don't think nightclubs work the same way.


Don't underestimate the power of forging new interests to.gether

 

[Edward]

In the old days, people met at dances. I don't think nightclubs work the same way.

Definitely not. Too damn loud for conversation, and there's rarely the same notion of asking someone to dance, which was the original social opener. Not least because most straight men these days (at least in my experience) seem to think it somehow effeminate to be able or interested in dancing.

 

[The Jackal]

Not least because most straight men these days (at least in my experience) seem to think it somehow effeminate to be able or interested in dancing.

Dancing is very different these days than what it used to be. Lots of humping , for lack of a better term.

Legitimate dancing is all but forgotten at this point. I think partly because there are very few occasions or events to actually do it. Even weddings, which would normally be a formal affair, tend to devolve into modern club music sooner rather than later.

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[Edward]

Legitimate dancing is all but forgotten at this point. I think partly because there are very few occasions or events to actually do it. Even weddings, which would normally be a formal affair, tend to devolve into modern club music sooner rather than later.

I would expect weddings to be dominated by contemporary pop, really, as that's gonig to be to the tastes of most couples / attendees. THe band at my Brother's wedding decided it ould be a good idea to play a bunch of 70s easy-listening stuff.... Smokey(?) someboy and likes. Cleared the floor in seconds.

 

[Big J]

This thread is an eye-opener for sure!
43 is an 'older woman' now? What the hell is going on with that? It's what I'd call a woman (or a lady, if I'm being polite).
I asked on TFL a year ago or so how people hooked up in the golden era, and the answer seems to have been personal introductions and dances (with singles ads despite film noir image).
I agree that modern mainstream dancing isn't much of a route to go these days and that shared interests are the best way (although I'm sure there must be plenty of dance floor humping couples out there who found the love of their lives- presumably conversation isn't a prerequisite).
When I look at the way some young people 'hook up' today (I'm thinking of the way some of my daughters friends date guys they don't know but met on the internet) I despair (some of the apps and sites are pure serial killer fodder). At least I can take solace that Japan still has arranged marriages, and if that doesn't work out well, I just met a guy who makes his own sausages.

 

[nick123]

The best thing I ever did dating-wise was to broaden my horizons and NOT look for someone with the exact same interests. Mutual interests are a nice thought, but what's much more important (and special) is finding someone who simply appreciates you for who you are.

 

[Amy Jeanne]

43 is an 'older woman' now? What the hell is going on with that? It's what I'd call a woman (or a lady, if I'm being polite).

I got a LOT of 18-25 year olds messaging me. Yes, I even tried dating a few. Thanks to easily accessible porn the "MILF" thing is very popular. Any woman over 30 is now considered a "MILF", "Cougar", or "older woman." To little boys, that is. Glad I found my grown man

 

[nick123]

My last girlfriend (the relationship lasted 2+ years) was 16 years my senior. Seems like Jerry Lee Lewis reversed, but in all honesty I am much more in tune with that demographic. I just get along better with older women. I have an old soul. Lol.

 

[Edward]

My last girlfriend (the relationship lasted 2+ years) was 16 years my senior. Seems like Jerry Lee Lewis reversed, but in all honesty I am much more in tune with that demographic. I just get along better with older women. I have an old soul. Lol.

And if your genders were reversed, nobody would even notice. Mad world.

 

[Amy Jeanne]

Age differences are fine (either way). Just not in the "I watched this MILF porn and now I like 'older women'" way. Like that's the ONLY draw.

 

[Big J]

@Amy Jeanne, thanks for the explanation. There is nothing wrong with age differences either way, you're right. There's nothing wrong with dating people 18-25 just for fun either. But if they've got a fixation on the age difference, then that's a bit weird (on their part).
I get hit on a lot by 18-25 year old ladies. I always assumed it was because I'm handsome and have a great personality, but now I'm just thinking that maybe they've got daddy issues.