Dance Etiquette

[Paisley]

I'm not Miss Manners, but I think it might be helpful to post some tips on dance etiquette since many FLers seem to be interested in both manners and dancing.

Getting Ready
I know I'm preaching to the choir, but before you go out, be sure you're looking and smelling good. (Go easy on the cologne.) Keep in mind that you may get sweaty, so take along any toiletries (or an extra shirt) as needed. Alcohol swabs help remove underarm odor.

Ladies, if you wear a skirt, wear something under the skirt that you won't mind anyone seeing. Skirts fly up higher than you might imagine.

Finding a Spot
Once you get to the dance, put your belongings down where they won't bother anyone. If there is any doubt, ask the people around you, "Is this seat taken?" or something to that effect.

Finding a Partner
Now, you should be ready to dance. There is a reason that this activity is called social dancing. You socialize with other people in the form of dancing. Just find someone who gives you a good feeling and say, "Would you like to dance?" Both ladies and gentlemen can do this. (Ginger asked Fred in the movies, after all.) Gentlemen, treat your partner like a delicate flower, and then escort her back to where you asked her to dance.

If you don't want to dance with someone who has asked you, say, "I'm sitting this one out, but I'll be happy to dance with you in a few minutes." If you don't want to dance with the person at all, just say, "No, thanks." In any case, don't dance with someone else after you have turned them down, unless you said you promised that dance to another partner.

Getting Along
Don't be critical of your partner. However, if your partner is causing you pain, you can say, "I'm sorry, but I can't do the pretzel; it hurts my shoulder," for example. But if you know your partner fairly well and think they would be open to a helpful suggestion, you might make one.

If you are an advanced dancer, don't be a snob. You were a newbie once--didn't other people dance with you back then and encourage you?

On the Sidelines
When you aren't dancing, please move off the dance floor. Don't make others dance around you.

Flip, Flop and Fly with Grace
It may sound obvious, but I see people doing this all the time: don't do aerials in a crowded place. They're best left to jam circles and performances.

 

[Mr. Pinstripe Suit]

Hear Hear!!

I can't tell you how happy I am to see these standard "8th Grade" rules spelled out clearly for those who were absent that day.

I've usually had a full-time dance partner so rude behaviour hasn't affected me much, but I've seen a lot of guys treated fairly rudely by neophyte females even before the poor guy had a chance to wrench her arms out of their sockets.

On a point relevant to maneuvering though, sometimes dance floors are so packed that even basic ground-based moves are seriuosly impeded. In that case, the options for enjoyment thin out quite a bit.

To keep it fun, something I'd like to add to the rules above is:

If some nearby oafish lead repeadedly bumps himself or his follower into you, MOVE TO ANOTHER PART OF THE FLOOR after a couple of plaintive looks fail to make the message clear!!​

I'm not the only one who's had this happen and I've had to move away myself while leading a few "noodle-armed" followers at times. The point is to have fun, and neither giving nor receiving repeated bumping meets that standard, so please keep it light and just move to another spot whether you're the bumpee or the bumper!!

Wishing you happy feet....

-Kevin

 

[Dan G]

fftopic: What if you never learned to dance? I'm serious... don't laugh... It's not that funny... stop staring... ahem... cough cough... any idea's?

 

[Harry Pierpont]

Take lessons

fftopic: What if you never learned to dance? I'm serious... don't laugh... It's not that funny... stop staring... ahem... cough cough... any idea's?

Bonniejean and I are, even at my age you can teach an old dog new tricks.

 

[thebadmamajama]

AMEN to the dance etiquette! Especially leading your follow back to where she was! It's such an awkward situation when the leads don't do this and you don't know whether to stay and chat or go back alone, et.c et.c et.c

 

[Paisley]

fftopic: What if you never learned to dance? I'm serious... don't laugh... It's not that funny... stop staring... ahem... cough cough... any idea's?

Are there any classes in your area? Look in the weekend section of your newspaper, continuing education classes through a college, rec center, city or county, or see if a dance club offers classes (that's how I learned). Look for classes on the Internet, too.

 

[Miss Neecerie]

fftopic: What if you never learned to dance? I'm serious... don't laugh... It's not that funny... stop staring... ahem... cough cough... any idea's?

You go to events, chat to friends and enjoy the music.

 

[Paisley]

Avoiding the Bumps

On a point relevant to maneuvering though, sometimes dance floors are so packed that even basic ground-based moves are seriuosly impeded. In that case, the options for enjoyment thin out quite a bit.

A few tricks to avoid bumping into someone:

Look where you're going. If you are doing the Charleston or moving backward or otherwise putting one of your feet way behind you, you need to look behind you.

Take little steps. A common newbie mistake is to take steps that are much too big and too high. I call it a mistake because it looks awkward, it allows you to step on your partner's (and others') feet, and if you are a long-legged guy with a short partner, your big steps will be hard for her to follow. Watch great dancers do a basic step: you'll see that their feet just clear the floor.

Don't flail your arms.

Ladies, if your partner is moving backward and is about to bump into someone, give his shoulder a little squeeze or pull with your left hand. This is a signal for him to stop moving backward.

If you must do aerials, look both around you and above you. There may be ceiling fans overhead.

If you bump into anyone, say you are sorry.

 

[KittyT]

There is a lot of useful information at http://www.gottadance.org/TipsAdviceLib.shtml, including basic dance etiquette, tips for dancing on bad floors, maintenance tips for suede-soled shoes, DIY suede soles, tips for buying dance shoes, and clothing advice for both men and women.

 

[Paisley]

"Note: People have a mild natural tendency to dance with people they already know, just because it's easier. This gives an initial appearance of cliquishness at the local dances -- but in almost all cases it's a false impression, and the dancers are happy to dance with anyone who knows even slightly how to dance. So just ask for a dance! (However, the local lindy hop clique is an unpleasant exception; most will not dance with anyone except their fellow cliquesters.)"


Yes, the local lindy hop clique. They pointedly ignore newbies, and then wonder why so many newbies don't stick around. I hasten to add that the vast majority of lindy hoppers are NOT part of the clique.

 

[Paisley]

A few more things

For safety's sake, don't wear kitten or stiletto heels. A coworker of mine had a bone in her foot broken when someone stepped on her with one of those. A cuban heel is a good, timeless choice; in a typical swing scene, sueded tennis shoes like Keds won't be out of place.

Don't take up more than your share of the dance floor. When the floor starts to get crowded, keep your steps small, keep your feet under your shoulders and keep your arms to yourself. Leads, don't send your partner way out. Needless to say, aerials are wildly inappropriate in a crowd. (Hint to newbie dancers: you'll get a lot more use out of classes in basic dance and jazz movement than aerials classes.)

Don't try to cadge free lessons. Do take enough lessons to do a fairly competent basic step before hitting the dance floor.

Happy dancing!