Comments You Get When You Dress Vintage

[Marzipan]

Golightly,

No, I haven't read that one! Is it post-50's?
And I'm looking forward to reading "Wife Dressing" though I wish my library had it as I don't like buying books before I read them. Oh, well. I suppose I can always sell it if I don't like it.

 

[Miss Golightly]

Golightly,

No, I haven't read that one! Is it post-50's?
And I'm looking forward to reading "Wife Dressing" though I wish my library had it as I don't like buying books before I read them. Oh, well. I suppose I can always sell it if I don't like it.

I think it's from the 1964 so maybe you could just about sneak it in!

I stumbled on A Guide to Elegance by pure chance - I had bought a book called Elegance by Kathleen Tessaro (for the book cover really - I don't like Chick Lit at all!) and it was fiction but based on the author finding Madame Dariaux's book in a shop in real life. Elegance did well in the shops so they re-released A Guide to Elegance. I would really recommend it - the book itself is so lovely - hardback with a Tiffany blue cover - but the really good stuff is inside!

http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Elegance-Properly-Dressed-Occasions/dp/0060757345

 

[Marzipan]

Ha, I read that novel for the cover too! Though I thought it was pretty ho-hum. I didn't realize the book it was based on existed. Or maybe I did and then forgot.

In any case, I'm bummed that it's '64. I'll have to read it next year. If I last that long...

 

[mannySpaghetti]

I always get, "Why are you so dressed up?" Like there has to be some occassion to look good. Pffft amateurs! lol

 

[Catarina]

hahaha i find it funny that many of you have had the "why so dressed up?" response - nobody has ever said that to me. but then again, i live in ny, where you could wear a girdle on your head and no one would care from ny-ers the comments tend to be compliments or asking where i got my shoes/clothes/hair etc. i love when compliments come from older people who know their stuff.
this is my favourite - i live in a ghetto brooklyn building, where everyone hangs out in the corridor, and on a typical friday night is the best time to wear a new ensemble. i live on the top floor so every flight of stairs i go down i get to be complimented by each neighboors! it's quite a treat and totally perks me up before i head out into the night! they really appreciate the "old-fashioned-ness" and "put-together-ness" of the looks
i feel for you guys who live in not so open-minded areas... when i visit my in-laws in Tennessee i get a lot of stares, and surprisingly from the younger people, who one would think would be the more open-minded? i also get a lot of funny vibes in my hometown of Lisbon, Portugal. People look at me like i'm an alien and comment to each other. Also i am usually accompanied by my hubby who has dreadlocks and quite a collection of piercings, so we definitely get a lot of stares. I find that the majority of people in my homecountry are EXTREMELY close minded and self-righteous - that makes me very sad. Typical situation: my mother is a doctor and works at a private "chichi" clinic, and we will go to pick her up from work. we sit quietly on the waiting room. the stares and sneering start, then turn to downright scoffing when they hear us speaking in english to each other(poor hubs doesn't speak portuguese). i love to see their looks turn to surprise as they watch the receptionist come over to us "Hi Catarina! You're here! How was the trip? I'm so glad to see you guys!"... hehehe then they realize by the conversation that i am their beloved doctor's offspring lol muahaha lol you should see them shyly coming up to me after, humbled as if i was some saint, "oh... so you are Dr. so and so's daughter? the one that lives in NY? and this is the husband? aah ooh... i've heard so much about you..." I always respond with kindness and a smile, to these people who sadly 10 minutes ago were sneering at me and my guy, only because we look different, as if that was a crime.
Remember gals - treat them with kindness. Be proud of the way you look and be poised - you have nothing to be ashamed of! After all, you're the stylish ones
this is a very long post hehe but the "curse" of being red in a sea of beige has "plagued" me my whole life, especially growing up in Portugal, and it has made me very comfortable and proud in how i dress and portray myself. Of all my insecurities, how i dress has never been one. Don't be worried about others' ignorance, don't feel self-conscious if you are not as stylish as the "uber-stylish-look-down-on-everyone-else".
Walk tall, lovely ladies, walk proud!:eusa_clap

 

[SuperKawaiiMama]

Just like Marzipan I live in the suburbs where the dress standard is soccor mum meets housewives of the O.C (for those on the prowl). I am used to being stared at for my vintage style, but I generally find I get treated with more respect and assisted more.. That may also have something to do with the fact that I take pride in the way I am, and never try to shy away no matter what the comment or whisper says.
I had an interesting experience over the weekend as my 4 year old had her ballet concert. At the dress rehearsal I arrived in what I thought was uber casual, blending in gear - I had been wallpapering all day and didn't have a chance to change. Yet I was still the most "dressed up "in the room. I don't want this to sound mean spirited, but all the other mothers looked like the had been dragged backwards through a hedge! When it came to performance day, I dressed my usual self, nothing over the top, just a simple navy belted dress, black heels, stockings and of course the usual hair and makeup. Not a single mother spoke to me all day, and everytime I'd look someones way, they would quickly busy themselves doing something. When I spoke to anyone I'd get a short answer, a tight smile and an abrupt end to the conversation.
This is the thing that most frustrates me. Even one of my best friends from high school, who I see nearly weekly, is often reluctant to catch up. She always says, "Oh here you are, looking glamourous as usual. I swear I dress better than this when I go out." She fails to realise I love her just the way she is, and this intimidation thing can be a real pain.

 

[Mojito]

The "You-think-you're-better'en-me-eh?" syndrome! I don't really know how to fight it, other than being polite, pleasant, open and approachable as I can be. It's not just with clothing either - I think sometimes the way I speak evokes the same reaction...the very vocabulary I use seems to make some folks defensive. It's always been that way - years ago when I was introduced to a friend-of-a-friend as we hit the town, within hours she had made up and was gleefully singing a little ditty that ran "if you want a book/just take a look/at Mojito!"

I really *don't* look down on people because they choose not to dress like me. Nor do I look down on them because they use a different lexicon. But I get the impression a lot of them think that I am regarding them from some position of assumed superiority, and they react defensively.

 

[Lareesie Ladavi]

I'm like some of the others, I don't get too much. I find, when I'm NOT trying to dress retro, I get a lot of Monroe comments. I think it's just the light hair, because I'm not trying to be her. I'm just fine in my own skin. [huh]
Personally, I'm in love with Veronica Lake's and Nicole Kidman's style, outside of the movies. I like to take ques from women like that. I'm always dressed up/professionally, even when going to the grocery strore. A lot of that may be because I spent my entire 20s over-weight and in a HUGE rut. I refuse to go back to that.

 

[ken100]

Hi all

I'm new here, read a few of your posts, the "what are you dressed up for" I have heard a few times but after replying with, just my normal clothes, it is often followed with "you look great". I have a feeling that so many people crave to express themselves but feel trapped in the... what will people think of me.... it would be nice if they realised that most people worry much more about what you think of them than what they think about you! I work in Sydney and have a number of clients who dress in fantastic 40's to 50's style (i think) polka dots, platform, high heels, patent leather shoes, fur wraps, high hair, stunning makeup, stocking with a back seam (oh stop it..i cant stand it...) beautiful style. Ever heard the song by Dan Hicks and his hot licks? Shes a bit old timey? love it! Thanks for having me.
Ken

 

[ScotchWhisky]

I am used to being stared at for my vintage style, but I generally find I get treated with more respect and assisted more..

This is an interesting point. I don't know exactly what you mean by "assisted," but I have found that people are more likely to open doors for me/pull out chairs/help me with a heavy shopping bag, etc. if I'm dressed in my vintage style.

Do we look more vulnerable and helpless in vintage, or does it just remind men of a more chivalrous time?

I would be very interested to hear if anyone else has had similar experiences.

 

[Emer]

I've had people say, "You look so old Hollywood!" (at our ball) or, "You look so classic!" or even once a little old lady said, "You remind me of myself when I was younger." I take that compliment very highly! Most of the time men will ask, "What's the occasion?" and when my husband explains that he's just married to a 40's-doll (wannabe) they usually tell him he's lucky. That always makes him very proud!

fftopic: How long does it take to get used to people saying how pretty you look? I turn this horrible shade of red and don't know whether to say "thank you," (does that seem to un-modest?) or try to give them a compliment back.

 

[TheRedHead]

surprise response

As I was saying in my blog, I was nervous today because I got a call from my sis that she was coming over to visit. I have always loved 40's glamour, she knows this already but i only recently started to live it! She would be glamourous in a modern, ironed hair, fake tan etc way and I was nervous of what she'd say. Having spent so much time here recently, and having received in the post today my new Dita Von Teese, art of burlesque book, made me brave so I stood my ground and lo and behold, her comment? ..'I must get some red lipstick'! If you want to see how I looked, go to: http://lafemmeaveclescheveuxrouge.blogspot.com/ I won't link the img as its big, and awful!

 

[Miss Molly]

Reactions...

I get some strange reactions at college! From a lot of girls I don't know, I get the 'look', you know, where they scan you up and down... often they give me this horrible glance afterwards.. I think it's quite a typical teenage attitude in my college, a lot of girls are very judgemental, which is a shame. They don't like people who are different. The guys don't notice or are extra nice!

Anyway, about comments, I was in my textiles class today, preparing some work and there were some workmen in the corner doing some hammering. My textiles teacher and the technician both sidle up to me and whisper in my ear: 'Don't look now, but I think you're distracting the workmen! You're looking particularly pretty today!' I was VERY embaressed! I said thank you, because my teacher is lovely and she always loves the clothes I wear, but also blushed bright red! I was wearing a vintage fifties dress, cream cardigan and cream shoes. It was also my first time wearing vintage fully-fashioned stockings out and about, so it was an interesting experience! I'm not sure if it was a good reaction or a bad one really!

Miss Molly

 

[Miss_Bella_Hell]

fftopic: How long does it take to get used to people saying how pretty you look? I turn this horrible shade of red and don't know whether to say "thank you," (does that seem to un-modest?) or try to give them a compliment back.

Personally, I usually respond with a thank you, as it's rude NOT to say thanks when you've received a compliment.

However, there's also a tried and true smile with an "Oh stop, you're too sweet," but that usually leads to them insisting that you look great, so IMHO a simple thanks works best.

 

[Tigerlily]

Gah! Today I put on this 70s does 40s wool skirt with a nice cardigan and my mother told me I'm too young to be dressing so old and that I looked bad. I ended up taking it off and slipping on some jeans instead because I felt uncomfortable after that. She just doesn't understand!

 

[ShoreRoadLady]

fftopic: How long does it take to get used to people saying how pretty you look? I turn this horrible shade of red and don't know whether to say "thank you," (does that seem to un-modest?) or try to give them a compliment back.

It took me a while to learn that saying "Thank you" in reply to a compliment is perfectly okay, and not wrong/rude/immodest at all! I used to stutter and stammer and/or try to brush it off...which is kind of rude in itself. The compliment-giver just wants to express their happiness and make you happy, so a gracious smile and thanks is perfect. If it's appropriate, you can compliment back. But sometimes it can seem like you're just fishing for a nice response and you don't really mean it.

 

[Widebrim]

Los Angeles comments

Today my friend and I decided to "dress up" and visit Clifton's Cafeteria in downtown. (Note: This is not the government section, where it is common to see men in suits, but the "business" section, where dressing way down is common.) My friend's single-breasted, grey pin-striped suit, tie, and fedora were all modern; I wore my WWII single-breasted, brown pin-striped suit (see avatar) with Bold Look tie (I left my fedora in the car). As usual, quite a few people were looking at us, some in admiration, but we got the typical "I know you guys are cops" from a street person, and the new "Hey, FBI!" from a guy in McDonald's (like undercover cops and G-Men would wear suits while strolling downtown...). The Central Americans and Mexicans (mostly immigrants) we met tended to either stay out of our way/and or stare at us; I suppose two tall, blue-eyed Gringos in suits (technically Italian Americans), strolling down a rather shabby part of downtown, was a shocking sight for them. When we went to Chinatown (where I kept my fedora on), there were no comments (there never are), just looks of bewilderment and admiration from the older residents.

 

[Marzipan]

That story is adorable! I find it sad how catty women can be though... it's true that they do judge... and I love how men often don't notice or it just registers that you look pretty.

I get some strange reactions at college! From a lot of girls I don't know, I get the 'look', you know, where they scan you up and down... often they give me this horrible glance afterwards.. I think it's quite a typical teenage attitude in my college, a lot of girls are very judgemental, which is a shame. They don't like people who are different. The guys don't notice or are extra nice!

Anyway, about comments, I was in my textiles class today, preparing some work and there were some workmen in the corner doing some hammering. My textiles teacher and the technician both sidle up to me and whisper in my ear: 'Don't look now, but I think you're distracting the workmen! You're looking particularly pretty today!' I was VERY embaressed! I said thank you, because my teacher is lovely and she always loves the clothes I wear, but also blushed bright red! I was wearing a vintage fifties dress, cream cardigan and cream shoes. It was also my first time wearing vintage fully-fashioned stockings out and about, so it was an interesting experience! I'm not sure if it was a good reaction or a bad one really!

Miss Molly

 

[Marzipan]

Gah! Today I put on this 70s does 40s wool skirt with a nice cardigan and my mother told me I'm too young to be dressing so old and that I looked bad. I ended up taking it off and slipping on some jeans instead because I felt uncomfortable after that. She just doesn't understand!

My mom's the same way about my clothes and esp. my hair. But then I look at what she's wearing (Ann Taylor, White House Black Market) and decide she doesn't know what SHE'S talking about. lol

 

[Vintage Verve]

I've had a few "who are you dressed as?" comments and they feel kind of sheepish when I laugh and explain that I am dressed as myself:eusa_doh:

I must admit that pretty much all of my friends always compliment me when get dressed up and I'm in my vintage wardrobe. I get lots of 'you look like an old fashioned movie star' kind of thing - which I find a very lovely thing to be told!

I'm very lucky in that I live in a reasonably 'left of centre' area of my city where pretty much anything goes and while I might get a couple of sideways glances, they are usually not hostile or judgemental ones