Clean Jokes

[My Scooter]

 

[Trenchfriend]

Why Bavarians still don't like us "East-Germans" that much?

Because we got democracy since 1990 and they never had the chance to experience that...

 

[LostInTyme]

I tried out for the Olympic figure skating team. I was dismissed immediately just because I was one leg short of a pair. I gave up on all sports after that.

 

[Frunobulax]

Tinder is for suckers.


Go to Facebook marketplace and search for wedding dresses. It will show you all the divorcees in your area and you can sort by size!

 

[Turnip]

 

[Trenchfriend]

The most common sex position in old Germany:

Man under, no one over...

 

[Frunobulax]

 

[Turnip]

 

[Trenchfriend]

On the day, when you understand, why round pizzas are packed in quadratic cartons for eating triangular pieces, than you will understand women...

 

[Frunobulax]

On the day, when you understand, why round pizzas are packed in qadratic cartons for eating triangular pieces, than you will understand women...

I'm still trying to figure out why hot dogs are sold in packs of 10 and buns are sold in packs of 8.

 

[Frunobulax]

Incongruities - not jokes, but observations from around my town.

The Dayton International Airport is located in Vandalia, OH.

The Cincinnati International Airport is in Kentucky.

We have an office downtown housing the Otis Elevator Company. It's in a one-storey building.

There was once a sign on I-75 South Between Dayton and Cincinnati that stated: "Metric signs next hundred miles."

Several years ago, a major fire gutted St. Joseph's Hall, the original structure to house the University of Dayton. In covering the history of the structure, the Dayton Daily News let us know it was designed using the metric system and was "ahead of its time." In the next paragraph, they proceeded to relay a detailed breakdown of how many square feet the building encompassed.

 

[LostInTyme]

Once upon a time I saw a cartoon depicting several people standing at the return counter of the Federal government. Each person was holding feet. The guy behind the counter had a box of analog meters. The caption read, "Trading feet for meters"., It loses some in the telliing here, but it really was quite funny for its time, when the USA was seriously considering going over to the metric system.

 

[Trenchfriend]

Still straight to the point...

 

[Zombie_61]

I'm still trying to figure out why hot dogs are sold in packs of 10 and buns are sold in packs of 8.

Someone tried to explain this to me once, but it was so modern-day dumb that I've forgotten the details. Basically, it all comes down to the traditional ways each of them are made--the sausage casings are long enough for ten sausages/hot dogs. And, for some reason, the buns are made in groups of eight; I think because decades/centuries ago the ovens were smaller so they could only bake eight at one time. Something like that, anyway.

But, yeah, it sucks 'cause we have to buy 10 packs of buns and eight packs of dogs just to even everything out.

 

[Trenchfriend]

Mmm, the four enemies of railroad.

Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter...

Freeze rain is bringing rail into trouble, here.

 

[The one from the North]

Mmm, the four enemies of railroad.

Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter...

Freeze rain is bringing rail into trouble, here.

Same here. I'm willing to bet that if I'd go to any railway station in the middle of the summer and shout 'Winter!', every train would instantly be 2 hours late...

 

[My Scooter]

 

[Frunobulax]

 

[Turnip]

 

[GHT]