Clean Jokes

[2jakes]

 

[2jakes]

 

[GHT]

As far as I can ascertain, the following is true:
Before my wife retired, she worked as an ambulance paramedic. Yesterday she recalled a particular reminisce that cracked me up.
She had taken a young woman, suffering from acute lower abdominal pains, into the emergency department. The young lady said that she was pleased that a female paramedic was in attendance and agreed that my wife needed to make a preliminary examination.
Beneath the waistband of the patient's underwear my wife discovered pubic hair, dyed green and a small tattoo of a flag with the inscription: "Keep of the Grass."
My wife suspected that she might have a twisted fallopian tube.
Curious to see if she was right, she checked the next day when at the hospital.
By chance she came across the surgeon who had performed the operation. "Good call," he said, praising my wife's diagnosis. Having a few minutes spare, she found the ward that the young lady was recovering on and paid her a quick visit.
The patient was delighted to see my wife again. "I saw your tattoo," my wife admitted, before adding, "don't worry, I've got a couple of secret tattoos of my own." The patient then smiled and said: "Look at this." She pulled her robe aside and there, where her pubic hair had been shaven, the surgeon, using the marker pen that outlines where an incision is made, had written:
"Sorry, we had to mow the lawn."

 

[2jakes]

 

[Hurricane Jack]

 

[GHT]

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, 'What's the story?' He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor' She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

 

[Hurricane Jack]

My apologies to members who may be accountants & all and sundry desk jockeys.

“Nobody ever saw a cowboy on the psychiatrist’s couch.” John Wayne

 

[2jakes]

My apologies to members of the Fedora Lounge Hats section.

 

[2jakes]

 

[Hurricane Jack]

 

[GHT]

Brings a whole new meaning to CAMP fire.

 

[Hurricane Jack]

 

[Hurricane Jack]

 

[Hurricane Jack]

It's gettin' so you can't even drink in peace without someone tryin' to sell you something!

 

[Hurricane Jack]

 

[Hurricane Jack]

 

[2jakes]

 

[2jakes]

 

[Hurricane Jack]

 

[Hurricane Jack]