Clean Jokes

[Turnip]

 

[Turnip]

 

[Turnip]

 

[Turnip]

 

[GHT]

 

[Trenchfriend]

Classic:

German footballer Andreas "Andy" Möller.
Mailand or Madrid? Main thing, Italy!

 

[Hurricane Jack]

 

[LostInTyme]

I recently spent $6,500 on this registered Black Angus bull.
I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow.
I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth.
Anyway......I had the Vet come and take a look at him.
He said,, the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.
The bull started to service the cows within two days……. all my cows!
He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows!
He's like a machine!
I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him ... but they do kind of taste like peppermint.

 

[LostInTyme]

Do you know any wise men? Do you know any wise guys? Of the two, which is the wiser?

 

[Turnip]

 

[Trenchfriend]

"Hey, buddy, nice to see you!! But what happened to your leg?"

"Man, I tell you, with these cyclists you got more and more trouble, these days! This dumb ass bumped in my back, yesterday, when I walked over the street around the corner at our block! And believe it or not, this f..khead said to me: "Man, you got some luck!"

Getting ready to sock him on the jaw, I asked him, if he's kidding me. And he said: "Wait wait, buddy, I'm on holiday! Normally I drive the city bus!"

 

[BobHufford]

 

[Turnip]

 

[Frunobulax]

Devil: "and if you misbehave down here, we'll throw you into this lake of lava.

Me: "Well, we're underground, so technically it's magma."

Devil: "You realize that's why you're here, right?"

 

[LostInTyme]

 

[BobHufford]

 

[Turnip]

 

[Trenchfriend]

What's the point? Smoking joint?

 

[BobHufford]

What's the point? Smoking joint?

Possibly ...

 

[Turnip]