Donald Trump invites Vladimir Putin and Angela Merkel to his resort in Mar-a-Lago.
He proudly presents his newest acquisition to his guests: A magical swimming pool. Whatever you wish, it will be filled up with.
First, Trump climbs up the stairs to the diving platform. He takes a run, jumps from the platform, yells: "Whiskey!", dives into, and gets tanked up.
Then, Putin tries out the magical pool. He climbs up, takes a run, jumps from the platform, yells: "Vodka!", dives into, and gets tanked up.
Finally, it's Angela Merkel's turn. She climbs up the stairs, takes a run, stumbles, slips, and yells: "Shit!"
Young lady gets into an Uber driven by a young man...
Young Lady: I'm going to Tony's up on Ludlow - 416 Ludlow.
Young Man: Would you mind if I turned on some music?
YL: Oh, no, please go right ahead.
YM: KISS?
YL: Let's listen to a little music first and see how we feel, K?
"You know, yesterday, I had some trouble with my girlfriend. At the end, I was so pissed, that I took away her wheelchair! And guess, who came whining, again."
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