K.D. Lightner
Call Me a Cab
- Messages
- 2,354
- Location
- Des Moines, IA
I came from an era when it was pretty much taken for granted that you would automatically grow up and have children.
I never wanted them, not at any time in my life. But no one believed me until I was in my early 30's.
The expectation that a woman would marry and have children spilled over into your work life. In those days (1950's-60's) it was quite legal for a potential employer to question you: do you have plans for marriage? Are you planning to have children immediately? Are you pregnant?
If you answered "yes" to any of the above questions, you probably would not get the job -- because it was assumed you would quit work and stay home once you either got married or had a child.
My mother was disappointed that I never had kids, even though I never had any regrets. Some of my friends who were also childless think it might have been good to have someone watching over you when you are old, but having a child does not guarantee that. Having five children does not guarantee that.
One woman I know declared recently she was not childless but child-free.
Re unmarried women: they were considered "spinsters" in their mid-20's. Or they were called "maiden ladies." Some who perhaps lacked good looks were considered to be "old maids" because they couldn't get a man.
There is a line in the movie Queen Christina (Garbo played the part), where someone asks her if she is ever going to be married or is she going to be an old maid. Her response is that she preferred to remain a bachelor. That was a very liberated remark at the time.
There is also the possibility that many so-called spinsters or maiden ladies were lesbians, not something you wanted to broadcast during earlier eras, unless you had a lot of money and lived in Paris.
karol
I never wanted them, not at any time in my life. But no one believed me until I was in my early 30's.
The expectation that a woman would marry and have children spilled over into your work life. In those days (1950's-60's) it was quite legal for a potential employer to question you: do you have plans for marriage? Are you planning to have children immediately? Are you pregnant?
If you answered "yes" to any of the above questions, you probably would not get the job -- because it was assumed you would quit work and stay home once you either got married or had a child.
My mother was disappointed that I never had kids, even though I never had any regrets. Some of my friends who were also childless think it might have been good to have someone watching over you when you are old, but having a child does not guarantee that. Having five children does not guarantee that.
One woman I know declared recently she was not childless but child-free.
Re unmarried women: they were considered "spinsters" in their mid-20's. Or they were called "maiden ladies." Some who perhaps lacked good looks were considered to be "old maids" because they couldn't get a man.
There is a line in the movie Queen Christina (Garbo played the part), where someone asks her if she is ever going to be married or is she going to be an old maid. Her response is that she preferred to remain a bachelor. That was a very liberated remark at the time.
There is also the possibility that many so-called spinsters or maiden ladies were lesbians, not something you wanted to broadcast during earlier eras, unless you had a lot of money and lived in Paris.
karol
