can't hack it

[ArrowCollarMan]

I've been trying for years to achieve this vintage look and spending alot of time, money and energy on it only to either look like an old man or a character. I enjoyed comments from people liking my hat or my watch chain but day to day things just got so hard to pull off, things didn't fit right or shirts not staying tucked in or having people expect zany or amazing things to come out of my mouth based on how I dressed.

Being looked at and talked about and asked "why?" everyday. I have to look like someone and I'm expected to act like someone. Today I went to church and I dressed normal: no hat, no suit, no tie just a short-sleeved shirt, jeans and sneakers. No one looked at me. I found that strange.

I went out and bought a bunch of normal clothes today: t-shirts, shorts, a hoodie, and a plain crewneck sweater. I got bigger sizes and contemporary styles. I suppose I'm just venting but I just can't do it anymore. I feel pretentious and sometimes it feels like people don't take me very seriously, y'know?

I don't feel like the inside is being represented by my outside. I'll still wear hats but from now on I don't think it's going to be like it used to be.

 

[Lady Day]

Maybe your outside didnt match your inside. Thats fine. If dressing 'normal' makes you feel normal, then do it.

Honesty with yourself over a notion of what you think you need to be dressing in vintage styles is more important anyway.

LD

 

[SuperKawaiiMama]

I agree with Lady Day, but I do feel a little sad that the world will have one less stylish man. There is a dearth as it is. It does indeed take courage to stand out from the crowd, and it isn't always easy. I was faced with a moment of truth on my daughter's first day of school when it seemed I had to choose which tribe to belong to. ( The Ed Hardy clad perma tans or the beige capri horse riding crowd). Choosing to stick to my guns, even if that means wearing a crinoline to the school gate, may have caused a stir at first, but I'm happier on the inside.
Now instead of wondering why I dress "differently", I wonder why everyone else is so boring and un-original. I get a lot of, " Oh I wish I could wear something like that."
I hope you reconsider and continue to make the world a more beautiful place.

 

[HarpPlayerGene]

You might find your equilibrium somewhere in between.

I don't find it practical, nor do I often have the occasion, to dress fully vintage with its higher degree of formality and complexity than the standards of today. But I do like to work in aspects of past eras of fashion into my daily attire for a few reasons: 1) I like quality, and older clothing and accessories were often made to a higher standard. 2) I like bargains and I get great deals on vintage hats and shirts and shoes. 3) I like the look of older styles and I particularly like the look of me mixing a fedora and wingtips with a band collar shirt, braces and contemporary (not baggy low crotch) blue jeans.

I do stand somewhat apart due to my clothing choices but I don't get reactions which would indicate that I particularly stand 'out'.

 

[Esme]

I agree with Gene. I am a larger girl and find complete head-to-toe vintage or even vintage approximate just doesn't work for me. I have to use a walking aid, right now a cane, soon perhaps a rolling walker, even though I am only 50 and I CANNOT under any circumstances wear heels. I often do jeans or nice modern slacks with vintage or vintage looking tops and sweaters, modern dress with vintage accessories (glasses, jewelry, handbag, etc) or as vintage as I can get with modern hair, something like that. Mix it up, I say, go for vintage touches or pieces. Mix and match, see how that goes for you. It works well for me, gives me a very unique look while still giving me the comfort my tired, old body demands.
Many people are comfortable in all vintage and I think they look swell, but I cannot do it on a daily basis myself.

 

[Hemingway Jones]

There's a great quote by Epictetus that goes something like, "Think first who you would be, then do what you must do." Dig deep and find out who you are and be true to it, and you will be enormously successful in life.

I dress vintage as a hobby and for events. I wear a fedora with my overcoats, but around here, no one makes any associations with it; it's almost normal.

I wouldn't want to be known for only one thing, "for I contain multitudes!" to paraphase another great thinker. Live, try out new things, learn as much as you can, strive to make connections with people, and if you feel that the way you dress or anything else is preventing you from doing so, then make adjustments. Don't be so hard on yourself.

You could wear your vintage kit once a year and still be welcome here.

 

[DeaconKC]

Your personal style and habits are what define you. You can be in a hoodie and jeans and still be a gentleman with those around you. When you feel like dressing "to the nines" break out your vintage and WOW everyone. Make it an enjoyable experience to use your vintage goods and it will be something that defines you and makes you a stand out.

 

[Miss_Bella_Hell]

Here's the thing about clothes: they're just clothes, vintage or no. If you like vintage, that's great, but you're under no obligation to wear it every day.

I wear modern clothes just as often as I wear vintage. Jeans, tee shirts, hoodies, all are viable things to wear in the 21st century. I do not see a big deal wearing that one day and a vintage dress next day.

Sounds like you've become tired of feeling like you have to dress the part every day. Well, you don't have to! Just dress the part when you feel like it. People around you learn very quickly that you just like to dress up sometimes and will not comment at the jeans nor at the suits.

 

[Marc Chevalier]

Arrowcollarman, congratulations: you've learned a valuable lesson by experience. In other words, you've gained wisdom in this.


You've learned more about yourself, and you're now ready to be true to yourself. In situations where you're free to, wear what makes you feel right in your own skin (so to speak). We support you.


All the best, -- Marc

.

 

[katiemakeup]

I agree with everyone. As far as personal style, it must be organic. I joined FL because of certain elements of vintage culture that I adore. I don't 'live the life' as some do, but I respect that in other people. Evolution and change are good. It is odd though, when you set out to be/do/aquire something out of life and then start to see yourself drift from that linear path. Are you bored? Being true to yourself? Marc is right about learning from experience.

 

[Inky]

I too agree with the others, wear what makes you comfortable in your own skin. There is no fun in being uncomfortable.

I wear mostly vintage inspired or of late make my own clothes from vintage patterns, but i also wear modern jeans, t-shirts, skirts. I try to add something unique to each outfit, but if I am just kicking around doing errands, it's most commonly jeans, a t-shirt and my converse.

Best to you in finding your happy and comfy place in your own life, there's nothing wrong with it at all

 

["Skeet" McD]

Here's the thing about clothes: they're just clothes, vintage or no. If you like vintage, that's great, but you're under no obligation to wear it every day.

I wear modern clothes just as often as I wear vintage. Jeans, tee shirts, hoodies, all are viable things to wear in the 21st century. I do not see a big deal wearing that one day and a vintage dress next day.

There's clearly a consensus here, and it would be pointless to just say it again: although you might enjoy checking out this thread, which goes into the same issue at some length (a good deal of it added by me ), with similar results :
http://www.thefedoralounge.com/showthread.php?t=39885

But I would like to amplify MBH's comment by saying that we are fortunate to live in just about the ONLY period of human history where this is true. Not only do we have the leisure and wealth for LOTS of people to be able to pursue a hobby like this; we also live in a world where we can dress in wildly different ways....and, by and large, no one notices. This is not to say that people didn't dress oddly (by the standards of their own time) in the past; just that they were branded as complete eccentrics. We have--for better AND for worse!--a much broader sea of acceptability to swim in....

Dress to please yourself, and let the rest go by the boards.

"Skeet"

 

[lagunie]

Miss Bella Hell said it the best. Their just clothes. Have fun with them. Have fun with your life. If someone makes fun of how you dress today you can be sure that once you change your clothes they'll find something else to make fun of. Your learning a lesson as much about people right now as you are about clothes. Some shirts make you look great, others make you look awful. Some friends enrich your life, others suck out your energy and spirit. Life goes by very fast. It is foolish to try to dress vintage everyday and for some events it's not appropriate. But when it is -- have fun. Good luck.

 

[Carlisle Blues]

There's a great quote by Epictetus that goes something like, "Think first who you would be, then do what you must do." Dig deep and find out who you are and be true to it, and you will be enormously successful in life.

I dress vintage as a hobby and for events. I wear a fedora with my overcoats, but around here, no one makes any associations with it; it's almost normal.

I wouldn't want to be known for only one thing, "for I contain multitudes!" to paraphase another great thinker. Live, try out new things, learn as much as you can, strive to make connections with people, and if you feel that the way you dress or anything else is preventing you from doing so, then make adjustments. Don't be so hard on yourself.

You could wear your vintage kit once a year and still be welcome here.

As usual Hemingway's eloquence outshines anything I could say.

Nevertheless, what I find striking is that you had the courage to come on this board and post your perspectives. You are being "true to yourself".

I do not dress vintage, not my thing, I am stylish in my manner of dress. Music is my thing when it comes anything close to vintage.

Guess what? I do not feel the need to apologize to this forum and I feel most welcomed here.

Just enjoy the journey. :eusa_clap :eusa_clap

 

[Tiller]

Well I am sorry to hear this obviously (I admire all men and women who at least attempt to rise above the boredom of what's normal in "fashion" today), I can understand your pain. Most of us who choose a different article of clothing whether its going a complete vintage look, or just wearing a jacket, or hat do it because of our love of that style, and contempt for most of the modern in comparison. It is a style though that forces the sheep who can't stand people being different though to make their yelps at you. For those who can not take things being said about them, then it isn't the style to attempt. To me t-shirts and jeans, are for outdoor physical labor. To me their is no such things as a "good t-shirt", or a "good pair of jeans" they are made to be worked in. The same is said for work boots, and sneakers. I don't see it as style, as much as simple working clothes.

I don't let people run my life, but I know I am rare in that regard. My girl is very much a "modern" girl besides the dresses and gowns she likes, and she has a hard time with what people think of her. Whether it is how she does her hair, or if people are talking behind her back about a comment she may have made a few days prior. To me worrying about what others think (especially those stranger we meet everyday who have very little affect upon our lives) is a waste of time. You must live your life for yourself, and for your own happiness, not for others. Don't allow those weaklings around you who need to tear others down in order to build up their own self esteem bother you. As I said before though it's hard for some people.

IMO it is about what works best for you, and what makes you happy, and what feels right for you. If vintage is something you truly don't like, because it doesn't "work" for you that is one thing. If you are changing though because others are trying to hurt you, I say don't give people that power over your life. Maybe something between the two styles will work best for you. Maybe not, but just because a few losers wearing pajama bottoms, or baseball caps are laughing at you, because you choose to be different then them are not the kind of people I would give control of my life over to. IMO I just laugh back, show that I am who I am, and to hell with all those who think they are better then me. Your life will bear its own fruit by how you act, dress, and treat others around you. If you are comfortable in your own skin, in my (admittedly short.) experience you will slowly find out that all those other people don't matter, and it is you, and the people you love and care about that do.

Your life is yours. Live it for yourself, and those who truly matter to you. Not for the losers of the world who gain happiness by trying to hurt those around them, so they feel better about their own boring lives.

 

[Matt Deckard]

"To thine own self be true" -- Important Writer everybody has to read in school...
... and all that crap

I wear my hat, I don't. I wear suits, I don't. I grow into looks, I grow out of them.

No shame no harm... just wear clothes, it's illegal to not wear them in public.

 

[John in Covina]

You grow older, and your focus changes, you're supposed to evolve not remain stuck or static.

Take a sabbatical.

 

[Matt Deckard]

Yeah... be yourself. You're not branded like this guy.

 

[Marc Chevalier]

... wear clothes, it's illegal to not wear them in public.

NOW he tells me! lol

.

 

[shortbow]

"If it's not fun, better left undone."