"But I'm content with my life."

[Trenchfriend]

Today, when I came back from garden market, next to our secondary railroad, I had a great talk with another guy from our smalltown. When I walked to garden market, he came from there with a big houseplant and when I came back to rail stop, he waited for our railcar, too.
We know each other from seeing since years and we always greet each other.

He's much more handicapped than me, but he more or less can do well. And he does walk much, so he's still kind of fit.
When we started to small talk, it became comrade-like very fast and it went deeper. Talking with him was comfortable, because he had no nervousity. Very calm guy. And he was surprisingly good to understand!

I learned about his personal backround very soon. His parents gave him away early. But in GDR era, he of course had some "socialistic comfort", so he had not a bad time, growing up in our area.

And THEN, he suddenly said: "BUT I'M CONTENT WITH MY LIFE."

Man, that moment was kind of deep and felt good!

And funnily, it came out, that he has a similar mentality like me! He always prefers to have his peace, too! That's, why years ago he moved out of the handicapped people housing complex in one of our neighbor villages into a regular apartment in our smalltown.

 

[Turnip]

Enviable! I bet there are not too few folks out there who could not say that about their life.

 

[Woodtroll]

Being happy/content with your life and the positive things you have going for you is a very important accomplishment, but sadly it is one thing many folks are never able to achieve. It's very nice to be able to say, "I'm not wealthy, but I've certainly got enough to be happy about".

Very few people are "normal" or "average", we're all both boring and crazy at different times in our own individual ways.

Excellent post.

 

[Turnip]

Picked up my brother in law from hospital yesterday.
He suffered from esophagus cancer earlier this year and had to run a neo-adjuvantive chemo plus major surgery and just began to recover very slightly from that.
Last Sunday he went to emergency admission of „his“ hospital and had been checked up intensively.
Result was that he developed a huge metastasis in his throat and he was informed respectively right before I picked him up, watched him talking to his doc.
I drove him home and didn’t hear anything from him anymore.
Today afternoon I suddenly heard the seven liter engine of his C3 Corvette firing up, soon after I saw him driving down our common driveway, leaving for an extended ride.

 

[Tiki Tom]

Great thread.

My mother-in-law, age 89, has just been informed that her cancer is back and that it is aggressive and inoperable. She is completely 100% mentally sharp and knows what is going on. I am impressed by how calm and contented she is. She is content with her life and seems ready for whatever comes next.

I feel it’s important for me to take a lesson from her calm demeanor. Also —at some appropriate point— I will want to tell my children to closely observe grandma’s way of dying. THAT is how to go with courage and dignity. I never had such an example growing up. I appreciate her and am thankful for her.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

I am impressed by how calm and contented she is. She is content with her life and seems ready for whatever comes next.

I feel it’s important for me to take a lesson from her calm demeanor. Also —at some appropriate point— I will want to tell my children to closely observe grandma’s way of dying. THAT is how to go with courage and dignity. I never had such an example growing up. I appreciate her and am thankful for her.

I must refer a film, The Rains Came circa 1938 featuring Myrna Loy and Tyrone Power for the death scene of Miss Loy's character which is witnessed Power at bedside. An utterly beautiful mystic moment of serene majesty. Your comment provokes admiration, all best to your mother in law.

 

[Fifty150]

When other guys were settling down, having children, and diving deep into the rat race of trying to get ahead at work with job titles and pay bonuses - I was living a colorful life. It never occurred to me to not live the next adventure, all the while risking life and limb to accumulate stories to tell at parties. Now here I am, without an ex-wife or child support to call my own. A "has-been". As my cousin said about me; my dress shoes are hiking boots, and my hiking boots are dress shoes. In her world, guys don't wear Allen Edmonds with Vibram lug soles. Nobody in her world has ever gotten into a fistfight at a black tie event. As I see other guys my age getting their second and third divorce; then trying to run backwards against the hands of time, to do the things that they didn't do a decode or two ago....... I'm content. I've fornicated with the devil.

 

[LostInTyme]

I am content in my contentiousness.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

I've fornicated with the devil.

Better call Saul.

 

[tonyb]

I am content in my contentiousness.

Yup.

There are things to be said for contentment, and things to be said against it. It‘s the mother of complacency, as often as not.

And I suppose there are things to be said for complacency, too, but there’s more to be said against it.

Our German friend opened this thread by referencing a fellow with a disability he encounters in his routine comings and goings.

Disability is no stranger to this household and its social and professional circles. The aim, it seems, is not contentment or happiness so much as loving one’s own life enough to fight for it. And it is a fight. What so many of us can take for granted — that our very existence is generally valued and respected — too many people with disabilities simply can’t. “Nice” people may paste smiles on their faces when encountering people with disabilities, but they expend little effort in making the world more inclusive and accessible to them. People with disabilities, especially those with intellectual and developmental disabilities, are often regarded as avoidable mistakes. I wouldn’t expect any self-respecting person to be content with that.

 

[belfastboy]

Yup.

There are things to be said for contentment, and things to be said against it. It‘s the mother of complacency, as often as not.

And I suppose there are things to be said for complacency, too, but there’s more to be said against it.

Our German friend opened this thread by referencing a fellow with a disability he encounters in his routine comings and goings.

Disability is no stranger to this household and its social and professional circles. The aim, it seems, is not contentment or happiness so much as loving one’s own life enough to fight for it. And it is a fight. What so many of us can take for granted — that our very existence is generally valued and respected — too many people with disabilities simply can’t. “Nice” people may paste smiles on their faces when encountering people with disabilities, but they expend little effort in making the world more inclusive and accessible to them. People with disabilities, especially those with intellectual and developmental disabilities, are often regarded as avoidable mistakes. I wouldn’t expect any self-respecting person to be content with that.

I check in on a friend's disabled son. He is on the spectrum as well as palsy and blindness. He is however a tech wiz. I went over a while back to fix his walker and we chatted or rather he quizzed me on my cel phone and computer preferences. To most of his questions my answer was..."I don't know." When his Mom queried him on my visit he requested that next time she sent somebody smarter. Sometimes disability is a moveable standard.

 

[tonyb]

^^^^^^
What’s obvious to some people — most, maybe — is often lost on me. I’ve found that to be more or less equally true of people I know well enough to say I actually know.

Remember the Savoy Brown song “I’m Tired”?

“You know some people are different
Now ain’t that a crying shame
Now wouldn’t it be a real drag if we were all the same?”

 

[Trenchfriend]

What's making me content with my life, is, that I had simply said much luck.
I only need to imagine, what could all have happen. The things could have been so much more worse, but luckily all went "lenient". It never exploded, it never became a nightmare. And as an real Asperger, I always had my observation skills and that gave me a good knowledge of human nature, very very soon. I just saw, how the things are really running. That helped a lot.

And there's no single day, I forget that. And I will never try to provoke my "guardian angel".

 

[tonyb]

^^^^^^^
Yes, it’s good to be mindful of just how good we have it, relative to most of the world, and relative to how people lived historically.

Which is not to say that things couldn’t be better. We have what we have largely because our ancestors saw to that, as did theirs for them.

 

[LizzieMaine]

The things in my life that I can control I am content with. The things in my life that I can't control, I'm not. Life is like living in a rental house where the landlord won't let you paint the walls any color but rental white. You can learn to live with it, but that doesn't mean you have to like it.

 

[belfastboy]

^^^^^^
What’s obvious to some people — most, maybe — is often lost on me. I’ve found that to be more or less equally true of people I know well enough to say I actually know.

Remember the Savoy Brown song “I’m Tired”?

“You know some people are different
Now ain’t that a crying shame
Now wouldn’t it be a real drag if we were all the same?”

My wife often remarks how different we are. I often respond, "Thank God, if you were like me the marriage would not have last 3 years.......I can hardly abide the just one of me!"

 

[belfastboy]

^^^^^^^
Yes, it’s good to be mindful of just how good we have it, relative to most of the world, and relative to how people lived historically.

Which is not to say that things couldn’t be better. We have what we have largely because our ancestors saw to that, as did theirs for them.

My wife grew up without indoor plumbing, running water, central heating and Saturday night baths in the galvanized tub. She as the youngest got first dibs on the hot water....poor dad, number 6 on the list got in last.....dirty and tepid water for him. I faired better as my parent's moved from the dirt poor prairie upbringing to the big city towards the end of the Depression. I was born into a relatively modern suburban life until father died and we were back into poverty. Not a day goes by that I am not grateful for the heat, electricity, & water available at the flip of a switch and whatever food item I desire just behind the door of my fridge. My Boomer generation (in Canada) gets to reap the spoils of much of our ancestor's labour. With the added benefit of me not having to go to war.

 

[belfastboy]

My wife grew up without indoor plumbing, running water, central heating and Saturday night baths in the galvanized tub. She as the youngest got first dibs on the hot water....poor dad, number 6 on the list got in last.....dirty and tepid water for him. I faired better as my parent's moved from the dirt poor prairie upbringing to the big city towards the end of the Depression. I was born into a relatively modern suburban life until father died and we were back into poverty. Not a day goes by that I am not grateful for the heat, electricity, & water available at the flip of a switch and whatever food item I desire just behind the door of my fridge. My Boomer generation (in Canada) gets to reap the spoils of much of our ancestor's labour. With the added benefit of me not having to go to war.

One salient fact overlooked. My wife grew up in Northern Alberta.....makes N Dakota appear balmy and tropical. She owned a Tshirt that stated: "I survived 30 straight days of minus 30"

 

[ScionPI2005]

This is an important topic. Mindfulness on being content in my life is something I have really strived to improve within the past few years of my life. Science shows both happiness and unhappiness are varying sides of a spectrum with the baseline emotion being more content in the middle. On a daily basis, I find being thankful for what I have and living in the moment while not trying to "keep up with the Joneses" is actually quite freeing to me.

 

[tonyb]

… I find being thankful for what I have and living in the moment while not trying to "keep up with the Joneses" is actually quite freeing to me.

True enough.

I’ve found the moment to be less stressful when I have a realistic sense that subsequent moments will have me with adequate resources. My needs are pretty darned basic, though, and I know that what I have far exceeds them. Food, shelter, access to quality medical care — that’s the cake, quite edible without the frosting, but who doesn’t like frosting?

So, plan for tomorrow, live for today, and for all we know the Joneses are miserable in their own way.