Being Fully Present As a Man or Woman

[Fletch]

Mansfield's definition has too much wiggle room. "Confidence and command in a situation of risk" invites men to foolhardiness (from misplaced confidence in the situation) and domineering (from a misplaced urge to command).

We'd do better to add a word cultural conservatives like Mansfield tend to shy away from: self. "Self-confidence and command of oneself in a situation of risk" defines a person who will conduct emself just as resolutely, but more reliably and with more dignity for everyone.

Leaving aside times when it's necessary to assert authority - and I think anyone really concerned with others will recognize those times - what's the matter with that?

AIU Mansfield, he would probably say it's too degendered. That a man is someone who must have an innate drive to leadership - that he must not have just a calling or a resolution to lead, but an urge. Something physical and competitive and "for itself." That this is what makes heroes and movements and inspires people in powerful ways.

It makes me uneasy, not least because I don't have it and don't want it.

 

[Widebrim]

We'd do better to add a word cultural conservatives like Mansfield tend to shy away from: self. "Self-confidence and command of oneself in a situation of risk" defines a person who will conduct emself just as resolutely, but more reliably and with more dignity for everyone.

Leaving aside times when it's necessary to assert authority - and I think anyone really concerned with others will recognize those times - what's the matter with that?

Good point, especially the "more reliably and with more dignity" aspect of it.

 

[Paisley]

Regarding strong women, of course they exist, but such predispostion shouldn't prevent their men from being the rock that the former can rely on in a relationship (and, yes, there may be times when the man needs the woman to be that rock).

Again, maybe it's just the people I know, but IME, strong men and women tend to get on with it instead of looking for a shoulder to cry on. If I were married, I don't know what I'd go to my husband in a tizzy about.

Strength isn't so much as a predisposition as the result of long experience solving one's own problems.