Bad Table Manners

[Vintage Betty]

I was drilled in table manners from the time I was a small child and my entire family was EXCELLENTLY behaved, or else Dad got out the belt or yelled at us. So yes, fear drove us to be very nice at the table, including clearing the dishes. We were ALWAYS complimented when we went out to eat, even at picnics.

That said, my father watched TV every night during dinner and regularly ate without us, even though we waited for him because he liked the McNeil/Leher Report better than eating with us. And I still catch myself with elbows on the table or talking with my mouth full, though I try hard to correct myself.

I adore my mother in law, but I absolutely cannot stand eating with her because she stuffs her mouth full of food and than talks while chewing at every bite and food falls out. *yucky*

 

[HarpPlayerGene]

My dad, bless his heart, was a common working stiff all his life. A real hustler who grew up during the depression and didn't make it through ninth grade for the need to get to work. For some reason, however, he placed a real premium on gentlemanly behavior and taught me proper table manners throughout my childhood.

I have always been grateful for that cultivation and practice table etiquette when dining out. But I must admit, I am fickle: At home, if eating alone, I'm a horse.

 

[Talbot]

Manners count ......everywhere.

This one got a laught out me me tho'

Marge: 'All these forks. I wonder what this one is for?'

Homer (in posh voice): 'I do believe you scratch your ar#@ with it my dear'.

 

[Talbot]

Also, I have no idea how to hold a fork correctly... I didn't realize there was a way to do it wrong. [huh]

Some of that depends on the country you were bought up in. As a child, Australia was very much part of the British Empire.

I was taught never to choke the knife or fork, ie fingers never touch the tynes of the fork or the knife blade, and never, ever use the fork upside down, as a scoop.

Swordfights at the table are also frowned upon in polite company

 

[donCarlos]

I was taught the basic table manners as a kid, mostly by my grandparents. Not to lick a knife, not to talk with full mouth, not to sing at the table, not to chew with open mouth etc.
It was about a month ago, a few days after my 20th birthday, when my aunt from Canada, who really is a master of manners, taught me how to hold a fork and use properly (the french way that you all accept as the only possible) and not to use it as a spoon.

I surely do respect all the basic rules as much as possible, but it strongly depends on the occassion and on what place I´m eating at. When I´m at home, I can eat from one plate with one spoon for three days. When I´m at some generic restaurant, eating some generic meal, usually with a lots of sauce, I simply have to use the fork as a spoon - everybody does that here. And when I´m in some better restaurant, I do it "your way" - the proper way.
This works perfectly for me.

 

[Talbot]

And when I´m in some better restaurant, I do it "your way" - the proper way.
This works perfectly for me.

I hope I didn't come off in my previous post sounding like you should only hold your knife and fork a certain way. Thats the way I was taught, but different cultures have different manners.

Its kind of like hearing English people complain about Americans not speaking the Queens English. Why should you, she's not your Queen.

I say if you want to use your fork as a spoon, its OK with me. When I'm in the States, I do too. When in Rome.

One thing that has always puzzled me and perhaps someone can help me out here, as I'm not sure what I did wrong: [huh]

I was taken to a business dinner by a group of Texans in DFW. Upmarket steakhouse. Excellent. Steaks all round. Great. Mustard. Good.

I was taught to spoon some mustard from the container onto the side of your dinner plate and apply the mustard to the piece you have cut and are about to eat.

When I scooped a small amount of mustard onto the plate next to the steak, people's eyes at the table nearly popped out of thier head. Stunned. Awkward. Silence.

If there had been a piano player, he would have stopped playing, too.

Dear Agony Aunt, What was my gaffe?

 

[Widebrim]

I was taught table manners by my mother, but these applied more to the outside world than to the home, where the occasional belch was almost expected:eusa_doh:...What is really inexplicable is flossing in public. Has anybody else seen this?

 

[Lady Jessica]

Some of that depends on the country you were bought up in. As a child, Australia was very much part of the British Empire.

I was taught never to choke the knife or fork, ie fingers never touch the tynes of the fork or the knife blade, and never, ever use the fork upside down, as a scoop.

Swordfights at the table are also frowned upon in polite company

I always use it as a scoop, it's just what we do here. But I didn't realize that swordfights were a no-no. Looks like I have less manners than I thought I did.

I have no idea why they took your adding mustard to your plate weirdly. Did they add mustard to their plates?

No flossing in public... Not yet, anyway. I'm sure I'll see it soon.

 

[Talbot]

I always use it as a scoop, it's just what we do here. But I didn't realize that swordfights were a no-no. Looks like I have less manners than I thought I did.

I have no idea why they took your adding mustard to your plate weirdly. Did they add mustard to their plates?

No flossing in public... Not yet, anyway. I'm sure I'll see it soon.

Lady J, don't worry, you'll do me for a rough old mate!

Maybe its a Texas thing, they just buttered their steaks with mustard and had at it.

I'm not sure about flossing in public - I'm still struggling with everyone carrying around a water bottle.

Unless its Vodka or Gin. That would explain a lot.

 

[Bruce Wayne]

We were sort of a combination -- we indulged in such things as the Boardinghouse Reach, and my grandfather habitually tucked his napkin into the front of his shirt, but my grandmother desperately tried to maintain a certain level of gentility in the proceedings -- use your napkin, don't talk with your mouth full, don't play with your food, don't slurp, don't throw scraps to the dog, don't read at the table, etc.

Since I've been single, my habits have gotten progressively sloppier. Right now there's a pile of books, a stack of bills, and assorted sewing scraps on my kitchen table, and I eat around these rather than trying to clear them off. But I don't talk with my mouth full, play with my food, or slurp. And if my cat wants scraps, she doesn't wait for me to throw them -- she just helps herself.

i only use the boarding house reach while i am at home. and only then if it is only my family around.

furthermore, i do use a napkin, although it is tucked into the front of my shirt. so far it has saved me a boat load in cleaning bills.

 

[Bruce Wayne]

one other thing i forgot to mention is that we must have cats form the same mama cat. my cat steel will do the exact same thing to my dad.

 

[Cody Pendant]

You Did WHAT? OH MY!

One thing that has always puzzled me and perhaps someone can help me out here, as I'm not sure what I did wrong: [huh]

I was taken to a business dinner by a group of Texans in DFW. Upmarket steakhouse. Excellent. Steaks all round. Great. Mustard. Good.

I was taught to spoon some mustard from the container onto the side of your dinner plate and apply the mustard to the piece you have cut and are about to eat.

When I scooped a small amount of mustard onto the plate next to the steak, people's eyes at the table nearly popped out of their head. Stunned. Awkward. Silence.

If there had been a piano player, he would have stopped playing, too.

Dear Agony Aunt, What was my gaffe?

You Did WHAT?

In TEXAS as in other "STEAK" States, the use of "ANY" sort of condiment on your steak is a Cardinal SIN !

You are expected to eat; steak.

The cooking of a steak here is considered an art, the meat a national treasure (yes, we think of ourselves as a separate nation) and the addition of any sort of condiment sauce without at least tasting it first has been a source of arguments, fistfights and divorces since the first steer was butchered.

Mustard would have been a most unusual addition to your plate here, as I have never even heard of such a thing. I can imagine there shock and surprise!

What were you thinking man?

Please tell me you did not order your steak "well done" as that would have been a hanging offense!

Steak is meant to be savored and enjoyed, like women.....bare!

 

[Fleur De Guerre]

It seems I opened a can of worms with the holding a fork 'properly' statement. I never said it was the 'only possible' way, it's just the way that I was taught - and it's the 'polite' way over here. You're supposed to hold it with the tines downwards (if it's in your left had), but you are 'allowed' use it as a scoop for peas... which my mum didn't know until I told her and she continues pushing peas onto the tines to this day as it was so ingrained in her. In general, using it turned downwards rather than as a scoop makes it very difficult to eat like a pig, so in my mind that's a good thing.

The reason manners were so important to my mum was because my grandad was completely working class and knew essentially nothing until he was in the RAF and had to attend very smart dinners. He had to, and relished, learning everything and ensured it was drummed into my mother - in those days things like table manners seem to have counted very much for or against you in the forces.

 

[Story]

Dear Agony Aunt, What was my gaffe?

Perhaps it was to sully a good steak with... mustard.

 

[Talbot]

So, they supply mustard in Texas steakhouse's to expose the furreners

There were no hot dogs on the menu

 

[Lady Jessica]

You Did WHAT?

In TEXAS as in other "STEAK" States, the use of "ANY" sort of condiment on your steak is a Cardinal SIN !

You are expected to eat; steak.

The cooking of a steak here is considered an art, the meat a national treasure (yes, we think of ourselves as a separate nation) and the addition of any sort of condiment sauce without at least tasting it first has been a source of arguments, fistfights and divorces since the first steer was butchered.

Mustard would have been a most unusual addition to your plate here, as I have never even heard of such a thing. I can imagine there shock and surprise!

What were you thinking man?

Please tell me you did not order your steak "well done" as that would have been a hanging offense!

Steak is meant to be savored and enjoyed, like women.....bare!

Oh my. I'm glad I didn't eat there while I stopped, I'd be afraid to use the ketchup! (Although might I say, lovely rest stops out there)

I carry around a water bottle sometimes, if I know I'll be walking a lot or without money to purchase a drink, or if I'm going to a friends house and we might be going out. I get thirsty easily.

Also, what's a Boardinghouse Reach?

 

[cecil]

For me it depends on where I am, really. I never chew with my mouth open or lick my knife but I'm not too worried about keeping my elbows off the table when I'm eating a burger drunk at 2am.

My rule with napkins is to only put one on my lap if it's cloth. Not proper, I know, but whatever.

 

[$ally]

I have attended a company function with the VP demonstrating terrible table manners while loudly discussing grotesque topics such as death and illness while others were eating. I lost a great amount of respect for the person I was supposed esteem.
My family practiced proper etiquette at the dinner table. I never had a problem with it growing up. It was just another way to be considerate of others. We kept the conversation pleasant; certain topics were for other times when it wouldn't spoil ones appetite. Meals were a time to touch base with family and get to know guests better.
I insisted on teaching my son, although the in-laws didn't give a flying monkey about it, my family always has and always will.

 

[cecil]

Also, what's a Boardinghouse Reach?

That would be reaching all the way across the table for something instead of asking for it to be passed to you. Guilty as charged!

 

[$ally]

Also, what's a Boardinghouse Reach?

I assume it means reaching in front of someone for a serving dish, rather than asking others to pass it?