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Attention Texans, don't spank your kids

Gene

Practically Family
Messages
963
Location
New Orleans, La.
One day her daughter will be pregnant at 14, addicted to meth, and more than likely committing multiple crimes. Why are kids so disrespectful today? It ain't the music or the movies, it starts with the parents...
 

Subvet642

A-List Customer
There was a similar case in Massachusetts. A father spanked his son when the son brought home a note from his teacher saying he had been neglecting his homework, or some such. The school found out and reported the father to what was then called DSS. They arrived at his house with the police and tried to scare him into signing a "consent order" (I think that's what it's called). He refused and was charged (I forget the actual charge). It worked its way to the Supreme Judicial Court in Massachusetts which ruled that he could not be charged with a crime that does not exist, as there is no law against spanking, specifically. You can spank in Massachusetts, but you cannot raise welts or red marks that last longer than 10 minutes.
 

Saint-Just

One of the Regulars
Messages
196
Location
Ashford, Kent - UK
Another Daily Mail type of reporting...
The (paternal) grand mother noticed red marks on a 2 year old that were still there when she went to hospital!
The CPS did say it was a crime to use deadly force against a child. Nothing really new here.

Of course I must be prejudiced, but I cannot fail to see that the father is not around (but his mother is, and is prepared to send her DiL to jail)...

Spanking may not be the most serious issue that child will face, unfortunately.
 

Justin B

One Too Many
Messages
1,796
Location
Lubbock, TX
And yet I bet the judge is one of the people who wonders when the see a child in public running out of control just why their parent can't control them. Political correctness, the everyone gets a trophy mentality, all the other crap that has been force fed down our throats and has weakened society to the point of collapse...*sigh* It just makes me tired.

At some point someone needs to throw a little more chlorine in the gene pool
 

sheeplady

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
Messages
4,477
Location
Shenandoah Valley, Virginia, USA
I personally have no problem with spanking. It shouldn't leave a mark and the threat of a spanking should be the primary route of punishment. In other words, a parent should threaten to spank more than they actually spank, and try to control behavior through the threat, rather than immediately going to spanking without a warning. (Of course, the threat has to be real.) I don't think that a parent should ever spank out of anger. It's a punishment, not an anger release for the parent.

I do have a problem with abuse. I've seen kids (under the age of 10) dragged by their shoulders, picked up and thrown into shelves at stores, thrown down bus stairs, slapped in the face, and spanked very hard in public. I've also seen kids sworn at, called names, and belittled by their parents. This is all abuse in my book. Now of course, I don't see all that happens in these people's lives, but the offenses that I do see that result in these examples of abuse- walking too slow, taking too much time getting off the bus, talking too much- seem pretty minor.

I was listening to the radio that was on in the thrift store, and there was a piece (on the John Tesh show I think) about people who "hot-sauce" their kids. Rather than having them hold a bar of soap in their mouths for punishment for a bad mouth, the parents make their kids hold or swallow a large amount of hot sauce. It causes burns and ulcers in the mouth that take weeks to heal.
 

RichardH

One of the Regulars
Messages
252
Location
Bergen, Norway
If you have to resort to name calling or physical interaction, i.e spanking , slapping etc, You've failed miserably.. Kids behaving badly is a direct result of negligence by their parents, nothing more. If anything, the parents should spank themselves for letting their kid(s) behavior slip.
 

scottyrocks

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,178
Location
Isle of Langerhan, NY
I personally have no problem with spanking. It shouldn't leave a mark and the threat of a spanking should be the primary route of punishment. In other words, a parent should threaten to spank more than they actually spank, and try to control behavior through the threat, rather than immediately going to spanking without a warning. (Of course, the threat has to be real.) I don't think that a parent should ever spank out of anger. It's a punishment, not an anger release for the parent.

I do have a problem with abuse. I've seen kids (under the age of 10) dragged by their shoulders, picked up and thrown into shelves at stores, thrown down bus stairs, slapped in the face, and spanked very hard in public. I've also seen kids sworn at, called names, and belittled by their parents. This is all abuse in my book. Now of course, I don't see all that happens in these people's lives, but the offenses that I do see that result in these examples of abuse- walking too slow, taking too much time getting off the bus, talking too much- seem pretty minor.

I was listening to the radio that was on in the thrift store, and there was a piece (on the John Tesh show I think) about people who "hot-sauce" their kids. Rather than having them hold a bar of soap in their mouths for punishment for a bad mouth, the parents make their kids hold or swallow a large amount of hot sauce. It causes burns and ulcers in the mouth that take weeks to heal.

And these are just some of the reasons why there are laws and child protective services. Your first paragraph sums up how it should be done, when it is absolutely necessary.
 
Messages
13,470
Location
Orange County, CA
sheeplady said:
I was listening to the radio that was on in the thrift store, and there was a piece (on the John Tesh show I think) about people who "hot-sauce" their kids. Rather than having them hold a bar of soap in their mouths for punishment for a bad mouth, the parents make their kids hold or swallow a large amount of hot sauce. It causes burns and ulcers in the mouth that take weeks to heal.

I believe it was actress Lisa Whelchel (TV's Facts of Life) who pioneered (or in the very least popularised) that particular technique of corporal punishment. In interviews she often spoke of using it on her kids when they were unruly.

Though, on the other hand, this nitwit judge is probably the kind of judge who would show leniency to some dangerous criminal because "he was abused."
 
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shazzabanazza

Practically Family
Messages
537
Location
New Zealand
We have an anti smacking law over here in New Zealand. Quite frankly I think it is rediculous. There is a major difference between beating a child and giving them a spanking. Sometimes the "naughty chair" or "time out" simply does not work....
 

LizzieMaine

Bartender
Messages
33,775
Location
Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
I don't think spanking a kid in public does anybody any good. My sister tried that with her son once and he started bellowing CHILD ABUSE CHILD ABUSE, as loud as he could, and she ended up being detained by store detectives until she could explain herself.

Ritualized spankings, on the other hand, come across as punishment rather than just loss-of-patience. There wasn't a day of my childhood when my mother didn't threaten to kill me -- "shut up in there or I'll kill you," "make your bed or I'll kill you", "pick up that junk off the floor or I'll kill you," etc., and I paid her no mind at all. But she also used to have a large wooden spoon close at hand, and she applied it vigorously when we really got out of line. As soon as I saw that coming out of the drawer, I knew it was time to settle down.
 

JimWagner

Practically Family
Messages
946
Location
Durham, NC
I don't think spanking a kid in public does anybody any good. My sister tried that with her son once and he started bellowing CHILD ABUSE CHILD ABUSE, as loud as he could, and she ended up being detained by store detectives until she could explain herself.

I wonder where the boy got that idea?
 

tuppence

Practically Family
Messages
532
Location
Hellbourne Australia
I work in childcare. I look after 10 children. We manage to get through the day without any spankings. I don't know why parents can't do it.
Every parent needs parenting classes, to learn to speak to their children properly.
Like Lizzie a lot of children here the word "NO" from the minute they wake up to the time to go to bed, and like Lizzie said about her Mother, children pay no attention. Telling a child to "sit on the chair " is way more effective than to yell at "STOP ROCKING ON THAT CHAIR" that's the kind of crap kids, with ineffective parents, hear all day.
 

scottyrocks

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,178
Location
Isle of Langerhan, NY
When my daughter was very young, we worked out a ritualized pattern that was only used once to completion. Basically, there were a series of steps that were taken after talking was ineffective. It only took as many tries as there are steps listed for any displinary action to only require step one.

1. Stern look
2. Verbal warning
3. The 'approach'
4. Take child's wrist in hand
5. Raise arm above head
6. Potchka on tushas

Eventually, all that was needed was the stern look. Also, remember that any of this was used only when reasonableness from the child was out the window.
 

Miss Golightly

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,312
Location
Dublin, Ireland
I'm not a fan of spanking children at all - I was spanked as a kid - not much - but it's not something I could see myself doing to my little girl - I feel sick at the thought of it to be honest. A lot of times parents spank their kids because they have lost control of the situation and are spanking out of frustration - this teaches children absolutely nothing. I hate even seeing parents spank their kids - I find it very distressing. The funny thing is before I had my daughter I saw no harm in it at all - it happened enough to me when I was growing up - but since I had her I couldn't bear the thought of doing the same to her. Funny how things change.....
 

JimWagner

Practically Family
Messages
946
Location
Durham, NC
Everything you really need to know about getting children to mind can be found Good Dog, Bad Dog by Mordecai Seigal and Mathew Margolis. Just ignore the parts about using a choke collar and doggie biscuits. :p

Seriously, positive reinforcement works a lot better than negative and the principles described in the book above actually do work just as well on kids as they do on dogs. Maybe even better since kids can actually understand what you say. We never had a lick (sorry) of trouble out of either of our kids and never laid a hand on them or even really punished them as such. And if you'd have asked them in their early years they'd have considered us to be rather strict parents.
 

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