Are you ever tired of explaining why you live or dress the way you do?

[sheeplady]

bump

Lately I've been asked what "the meaning is" behind the way I act and dress. This is done with real concern, like I'm demented or something lol

I like to stare back at them, vacantly. Then they do think I'm nuts.

 

[rue]

I like to stare back at them, vacantly. Then they do think I'm nuts.

I think I might just give that a try

 

[sheeplady]

I think I might just give that a try

It works. The key is to stare them down.

 

[vintageTink]

I'm not quite sure how to ask this, but this was really bugging me today, so I'll give it a try.....

Very rarely, but sometimes, I don't want to go out of the house, because I don't want attention called to me because of the way I dress. God forbid when they realize how I live, because then it turns into even more of an interview. Most of the time, I really don't mind, but on those rare occasions, when I just want to pop in somewhere and grab something from a store (like today when I'm sick), I wish I could hide. Other times when someone I just met comes over and sees the way I live, I feel like I'm under a microscope.

I know it comes with the territory, but holy criminy..... I don't interview people about the way they live or dress.


Sooooo....... For those of us that live the lifestyle or just dress that way, do you ever get tired of answering questions about it?

I just whisper, eyes wide, "You can see me?!"

 

[Zombie_61]

Except for a few flat caps and one fedora (so far), I don't really dress vintage (unless you consider Levi's jeans vintage; they've been around since 1873). But I have had people comment on my appearance over the years--being a child of the 60s I've had long(ish) hair most of my life, a moustache and beard or goatee most of my adult life, and an earring and tattoos for three decades--and the vast majority of those comments were of the rude/snide/insulting variety rather than being complimentary. On most occasions I simply turned the question around on whoever was asking it. For example, if someone asked, "Why is your hair so long?", I'd respond with something to the effect of, "Why isn't your hair longer?" and go about my business. Without fail, the person asking the question was stumped simply because they weren't expecting this kind of response from me, and it spoiled their "fun". Clearly, some people are without manners; I don't fault them for their rude behavior, but I don't foster it either. Win the game by not playing.

 

[rue]

It works. The key is to stare them down.

Got it!

I just whisper, eyes wide, "You can see me?!"

lol

Except for a few flat caps and one fedora (so far), I don't really dress vintage (unless you consider Levi's jeans vintage; they've been around since 1873). But I have had people comment on my appearance over the years--being a child of the 60s I've had long(ish) hair most of my life, a moustache and beard or goatee most of my adult life, and an earring and tattoos for three decades--and the vast majority of those comments were of the rude/snide/insulting variety rather than being complimentary. On most occasions I simply turned the question around on whoever was asking it. For example, if someone asked, "Why is your hair so long?", I'd respond with something to the effect of, "Why isn't your hair longer?" and go about my business. Without fail, the person asking the question was stumped simply because they weren't expecting this kind of response from me, and it spoiled their "fun". Clearly, some people are without manners; I don't fault them for their rude behavior, but I don't foster it either. Win the game by not playing.

Well played

 

[Edward]

"Why is your hair so long?",

Hair are your aerials.

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZiW43ld-_Y[/video]

 

[sheeplady]

Except for a few flat caps and one fedora (so far), I don't really dress vintage (unless you consider Levi's jeans vintage; they've been around since 1873). But I have had people comment on my appearance over the years--being a child of the 60s I've had long(ish) hair most of my life, a moustache and beard or goatee most of my adult life, and an earring and tattoos for three decades--and the vast majority of those comments were of the rude/snide/insulting variety rather than being complimentary. On most occasions I simply turned the question around on whoever was asking it. For example, if someone asked, "Why is your hair so long?", I'd respond with something to the effect of, "Why isn't your hair longer?" and go about my business. Without fail, the person asking the question was stumped simply because they weren't expecting this kind of response from me, and it spoiled their "fun". Clearly, some people are without manners; I don't fault them for their rude behavior, but I don't foster it either. Win the game by not playing.

Is it that hard for someone who is interested in asking questions to put a compliment first? To not look rude? As in, "I really like your tattoo, what is it of?" Or "I like your long hair... what made you decide to grow it out?"

 

[Zombie_61]

Is it that hard for someone who is interested in asking questions to put a compliment first? To not look rude? As in, "I really like your tattoo, what is it of?" Or "I like your long hair... what made you decide to grow it out?"

In my experience, the problem was usually that, for people like this, their "interest" was in being insulting for their own amusement. They didn't care about my hair, or my tattoos, or whatever, beyond it being a target for them to aim at verbally; it was nothing more than a form of bullying. Conversely, if someone expresses a genuine interest in my tattoos, or a particular item of clothing I'm wearing, or whatever, I'm more than happy to enter into a positive discussion with them; in fact, I've met some really nice people that way.

Which reminds me...several years ago a female co-worker (who was a bit older and had a reputation for being provocative) approached me out of the blue one day and asked, "Why do you wear an earring?" When I replied, "Because I like it," she shrugged and said, "Okay," and started to walk away. I stopped her and said, "No no no, you can't just throw out a question like that and walk away without explaining yourself." She explained that over the years she had asked this question of every male she knew who wore an earring, and that I was the first who had given her any form of answer other than, "Uhh...I don't know." The earrings were irrelevant; she was interested in how they (and I) would respond knowing she was catching them (and me) off-guard and unprepared for her question. I think I surprised her by actually having an answer, even as simple as it was.

Some people enjoy wearing vintage clothing, some people enjoy collecting stamps, some people enjoy pushing other peoples' buttons. [huh]

 

[John in Covina]

Wow bullying. In light of that no one should ask anyone anything ever again to avoid any semblance of impropriaty. I ahve found that the majority of people unless they are smartasses, actually have an interest and may actually be wanting to engage in conversation, but so many people are predisposed to be hurt now are over sensatized and see hurt in even the most minor inquiry. So we do the you must be prejudiced how politically incorrect of you dance.

All I can say is to the people that decide to live out of the ordinary lives: if you do something out of the ordinary people will be curious especially if it is visible and you are making it part of your persona. To then be public and expect it to be private is like shooting off fireworks in your front yard and expecting no one to notice. There are consequences and reactions to what you do, if you don't like it learn to be an ambassador for your lifestyle or stay inside with the shades drawn. We live in a world where human interaction is shrinking at an alarming rate if you demand to be shutoff from life around you and the "right" not to interact, it will become a dark cold loveless world. One of the things that people complaned about our urban centers in the 60's and 70's was that crime ran rampant because everyone demanded to not get involved.

Prejudice fades when people get to know those they are prejudiced against.



IF everyone becomes super sensative then even common courtesy will be frowned upon.

 

[Zombie_61]

Wow bullying. In light of that no one should ask anyone anything ever again to avoid any semblance of impropriaty. I ahve found that the majority of people unless they are smartasses, actually have an interest and may actually be wanting to engage in conversation, but so many people are predisposed to be hurt now are over sensatized and see hurt in even the most minor inquiry. So we do the you must be prejudiced how politically incorrect of you dance.

In the instances I mentioned above, the people I was approached by were clearly in the "smartass" category; I can usually determine by the person's tone, demeanor, and the way they approach me, whether or not they're sincere, and if I'm uncertain I give them the benefit of the doubt and respond politely. And there have been people who were simply having a little good-natured fun at my expense, so I joked along with them; I have no problem with being the clown if it will brighten someone's day at least a little.

All I can say is to the people that decide to live out of the ordinary lives: if you do something out of the ordinary people will be curious especially if it is visible and you are making it part of your persona. To then be public and expect it to be private is like shooting off fireworks in your front yard and expecting no one to notice. There are consequences and reactions to what you do, if you don't like it learn to be an ambassador for your lifestyle or stay inside with the shades drawn. We live in a world where human interaction is shrinking at an alarming rate if you demand to be shutoff from life around you and the "right" not to interact, it will become a dark cold loveless world. One of the things that people complaned about our urban centers in the 60's and 70's was that crime ran rampant because everyone demanded to not get involved.

Prejudice fades when people get to know those they are prejudiced against.

IF everyone becomes super sensative then even common courtesy will be frowned upon.

Oh, absolutely. If a person is going to do, wear, or own something that draws attention to them for whatever reason, they shouldn't be surprised when they receive that attention. I don't think it's unreasonable to hope that attention will be positive, but in my experience some people simply prefer confrontation over camaraderie. People are going to be who they are no matter what you do or how you do it, so live your life as you see fit. To quote the prophet Nelson, "You can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself." As long as you're not harming anyone else in the process, that is.

 

[bburtner@moran]

Nope,I don`t dress like I am living in the past,I always wore what I wanted which is very non descript clothing,I don`t stand out in any crowd.I enjoy staying below the radar!!

 

[DamianM]

I do dress 30s- 40s. I don't apologize for it. Hell not in this time and age where shorts and a tank tops are the "norm" and everyone wears a costume suit to special occasions. When woman think a dress is to fancy and should only be worn at party's.

Yesterday at home depot, I was picking up some items and this man, probably a hipster came up to me and my girlfriend and complimented us on our dressing choice.
Newsboy, Tie and vest with pleated slacks and white canvas shoes Girlfriend was wearing rayon prints skirt. and a simple blouse.
He asked us why we dress the way we do with genuine intrigue. He said he first thought we might be coming from a play or something, but the way we carried are self's was so natural and going about our day.
I responded with the fact that during the great depression no man would go without his suit, there dignity was no lost, there respect for themselves and for others was not lost.
Why is this not true today?

Some might argue its not comfortable and it gets hot or some bull, I disagree.
I wear linen in the summer and wool in the winter. They just never learned to dress for function.

Others argue that it takes a lot of time, I say they are lazy.
I take 5 minutes.

I wear jeans when Im working on something. and I don't when I'm not

There really is no excuse.

 

[rue]

I do dress 30s- 40s. I don't apologize for it. Hell not in this time and age where shorts and a tank tops are the "norm" and everyone wears a costume suit to special occasions. When woman think a dress is to fancy and should only be worn at party's.

Yesterday at home depot, I was picking up some items and this man, probably a hipster came up to me and my girlfriend and complimented us on our dressing choice.
Newsboy, Tie and vest with pleated slacks and white canvas shoes Girlfriend was wearing rayon prints skirt. and a simple blouse.
He asked us why we dress the way we do with genuine intrigue. He said he first thought we might be coming from a play or something, but the way we carried are self's was so natural and going about our day.
I responded with the fact that during the great depression no man would go without his suit, there dignity was no lost, there respect for themselves and for others was not lost.
Why is this not true today?

Some might argue its not comfortable and it gets hot or some bull, I disagree.
I wear linen in the summer and wool in the winter. They just never learned to dress for function.

Others argue that it takes a lot of time, I say they are lazy.
I take 5 minutes.

I wear jeans when Im working on something. and I don't when I'm not

There really is no excuse.

Well said!

 

[BladeOfAnduril]

Apparently my recent hat acquisitions have prompted my mother-in-law to ask my wife if I'm gay (modern definition). I'm still attempting to process what distant world that idea may have came from. I'm not sure what to think about that. She's known me for 10 years for goodness' sake. It's not a good feeling, but I can't quite identify it. Some people...

 

[Edward]

Apparently my recent hat acquisitions have prompted my mother-in-law to ask my wife if I'm gay (modern definition). I'm still attempting to process what distant world that idea may have came from. I'm not sure what to think about that. She's known me for 10 years for goodness' sake. It's not a good feeling, but I can't quite identify it. Some people...

I should expect it's the tiresome old notion that a man who dresses well, or is interested in clothes, is failing to conform to a gender-role stereotype (being interested in clothes - "fashion" - is for women), and thus his sexuality is called into question. As if sexuality ever equated to gender, but that's far too subtle an issue for some folks!

 

[DamianM]

I should expect it's the tiresome old notion that a man who dresses well, or is interested in clothes, is failing to conform to a gender-role stereotype (being interested in clothes - "fashion" - is for women), and thus his sexuality is called into question. As if sexuality ever equated to gender, but that's far too subtle an issue for some folks!

Wow... Talk about really narrow point of views.
Dressing like a Man does not make you "gay". It makes you more masculine.
Start shaving with a straight razor and see if she thinks the same.
I actually have homosexual friends and I dress alot better and timeless then they do HA!
one wears neon colored shirts and shorts with sandals the other wears jean on jean

http://www.artofmanliness.com/ <<< funny but true site on The lost art of Manliness

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

As if dressing like a seven year old is "manly."

 

[DamianM]

As if dressing like a seven year old is "manly."

And sadly this is what is accepted as normal and acceptable.

 

[Edward]

I observed recently that where once kids were dressed as Daddy's Minime, now it's Daddy as Little Johnny's Maxime....