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Are you a gentleman?

reetpleat

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,681
Location
Seattle
Except when someone says "If I weren't a gentleman, I would..." or, in response to an impertinant question perhaps, says "A gentleman never kisses and tells" etc.
 

avedwards

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,425
Location
London and Midlands, UK
Miss_Bella_Hell said:
I wonder, though. Can't one tell, based on accent alone, whether one is rich or poor, and where someone is from?

Other than the obvious Cockney accent which only the "working class" have, accents now vary depending on where you live rather than your social status. For example, people of nearly all classes have the ugly regional accent where I live.

Anyway, social class shouldn't determine whether you are a gentleman. After all, a polite "working class" person could class as a gentleman, couldn't they?
 

Dave the Hick

New in Town
Messages
29
Location
CA
As my grandfather used to say:
"A gentleman is a man who can describe a woman, without the use of his hands!"
Now that's beautiful!

I s'pose definitions vary, but to me, a Gentleman is simply an honorable man. Few and far between these days.
 

kyda

One of the Regulars
Messages
142
Location
Western Australia
Gentelman

I have to agree with DaveTheHick on this one, I think of a Gentleman as one who is honorable man as well as treating a woman with respect and with the kid gloves that is deserved.
 

ortega76

Practically Family
Messages
804
Location
South Suburbs, Chicago
Hemingway Jones said:
The term "gentleman" has been liberated from its Medieval roots for quite some time now and, in modern usage, means, a man, it is gender restrictive, who treats others with dignity and respect. This would appear to be the least one must do earn the term.

It would also appear to me that one of the many ways to fall short is to claim this trait for oneself.

Well put.
 

Mr. Godfrey

Practically Family
I would use "The Wind In The Willows" for my description.

Toad is supposed to be the Gentleman by breeding and class, however, Mole and Rat by their actions and manner would be a far more apt definition of a Gentleman.

My late Grandfather was a Gentlemen, very similar to Mole, I would love to be like him, a bit like Mr Godfrey from Dad's Army.

I am sad to say I am not. At least, we can but try!.

The FL is a good starting place, IMHO.

KR
 

LordBest

Practically Family
Messages
692
Location
Australia
Hemingway Jones said:
It would also appear to me that one of the many ways to fall short is to claim this trait for oneself.

I disagree, 'gentleman' is both a courtesy title and a certain manner of well mannered behaviour. While modesty is called for, if one considers oneself to be a gentleman, there is no harm in saying so when pressed. To exult in it would be another matter.

Sorry to sound so pompous.
 

stephen1965

One of the Regulars
Messages
176
Location
London
Originally posted by Mr. Godfrey
I would use "The Wind In The Willows" for my description.

Toad is supposed to be the Gentleman by breeding and class, however, Mole and Rat by their actions and manner would be a far more apt definition of a Gentleman.

My late Grandfather was a Gentlemen, very similar to Mole, I would love to be like him, a bit like Mr Godfrey from Dad's Army.

I am sad to say I am not. At least, we can but try!.

The FL is a good starting place, IMHO.

KR

Oh yes,dear old dad's Army and the great Mr.Godfrey, a considerate man whose refinements were part of his considerate nature unlike the affectations of Captain Manwairing(sorry about spellling if incorrect).
You are also right IMO about Mole and Ratty which goes to show that the idea of a gentleman is beyond 'class' and more akin to 'beauty' or 'excellence'...
I reckon that in England I could, after a few minutes chat, pretty much tell someones background and 'class' but that what would make them a gentleman would be an open minded consideration and willingness to learn... to strive for understanding of oneself and others. It has very little to do with class structure anymore as far as I can see.
 

Hemingway Jones

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
Messages
6,099
Location
Acton, Massachusetts
LordBest said:
I disagree, 'gentleman' is both a courtesy title and a certain manner of well mannered behaviour. While modesty is called for, if one considers oneself to be a gentleman, there is no harm in saying so when pressed. To exult in it would be another matter.

Sorry to sound so pompous.
Not at all. We may disagree without being disagreeable.
 

stephen1965

One of the Regulars
Messages
176
Location
London
Perhaps we could say that there is a code of gentlemanly conduct:

John Henry Cardinal Newman's description of the gentlemen (1852) says that

"It is almost a definition of a gentleman to say he is one who never inflicts pain . . . the true gentleman . . . carefully avoids whatever may cause a jar or a jolt in the minds of those with whom he is cast. . . he is tender towards the bashful, gentle towards the distant, and merciful towards the absurd . . He is patient, forebearing, and resigned."

What might be more fun is to look at some of the manners of speech,behaviour and costume attributed to 'gentlemen'. For instance:

From The Clothes of a Gentleman 1922, (Emily Post (1873–1960)):
To wear odd tweed coats and flannel trousers in town is not only inappropriate, but bad taste.:eusa_doh:
Have your breeches fit you. The coat is less important, in fact, any odd coat will do. Your legs are the cynosure of attention in riding.
White woolen socks are correct with white buckskin shoes in the country, but not in town.
Above everything, don’t wear white socks(with a business suit), and don’t cover yourself with chains, fobs, scarf pins, lodge emblems, etc., and don’t wear “horsey” shirts and neckties.

There's a lot more from Ms.Post:confused:
 

shortbow

Practically Family
Messages
744
Location
british columbia
I perceive that there are a goodly number of real gentlemen peopling this establishment. It is most gratifying to see the number of posts that define the term as having more to do with character, integrity and honour, as opposed to the vagaries of socio-economic circumstance. Nice place, this.
 

VintageVixie

Registered User
Messages
89
Location
City of Roses
I feel it is only by manner and behavior that one can define someone as a gentleman. Most ladies can say they've known many a cad who looked and acted like a gentleman, but when the true nature came out, he certainly no longer deserved that title.

And I'd rather know a man with manners and integrity who is dressed in rags than a man dressed to the nines who is only arrogant, self-serving, and rude.

It is best of course if the image matches the inside, but not so often the case.

I have to admit I haven't known many men who actually aspire to be worthy of the title of Gentleman, and so it is very nice to see it being discussed like this. :)
 

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