Are you a gentleman?

[shortbow]

The discussion on shorts below, as well as others on what is appropriate attire and behavior herein previously discussed, got me thinking that, as is often the case in disputes of one kind or another, folks can get into arguments without first defining their terms of reference.

So: Just how do you folks define a gentleman? Aside from the obvious things like not picking one's teeth in public or being gracious to a lady, my definition is embodied in the poem by Kipling called "If."

What say you?

 

[Marc Chevalier]

Am I a gentleman? No.

 

[Paisley]

Neither am I.

Kidding aside, a gentleman used to be a man who, among other things, didn't have to work for a living. Today, I usually hear the term in reference to someone who behaves himself around women.

 

[Matt Deckard]

I think we had this thread before.
I have land and ... well Yes if we go by the old description. Otherwise I'm ... hmmm ... I'll let the ladies decide!

 

[Tomasso]

“A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.” Oscar Wilde

 

[Marc Chevalier]

I think we had this thread before.

And how.

 

[stephen1965]

If..

I don't ever really get called a gentleman and that's ok but that poem was always something to which a man could really aspire. My guess is that one can try to be gentleman without ever really completely defining what it is. A bit like the 'tao' that can be defined is not the true tao.. but that poem captures it to a large degree I reckon. A gent would in my opinion have to be pretty big on consideration for others.
Other than that I can't wait to hear about what others consider to be a gentlemen's etiquette. I know people that gasp if you say serviette when you should say napkin and groan if one says toilet and not lavatory... Interesting from an historical viewpoint, like what should have been worn when and where. But at the end, a gentleman is an inner state of some kind, no?

 

[Miss_Bella_Hell]

I think the term "Gentleman" can only be used by the British. Anyone else using it is 1) putting on airs; 2) putting you on.

 

[avedwards]

I think the term "Gentleman" can only be used by the British. Anyone else using it is 1) putting on airs; 2) putting you on.

In that case I stand a chance of being a gentleman....

...well, I try.

 

[LordBest]

I think the term "Gentleman" can only be used by the British. Anyone else using it is 1) putting on airs; 2) putting you on.

I think anyone who fancies themself a gentleman in an 'Anglosphere' country could carry it off.
I fancy myself as somewhat of a gentleman, I was brought up on a diet of traditional English literature and culture so it has become somewhat ingrained. I fear it may exacerbate my natural pomposity.
Interestingly enough the definition of gentleman as a class seems somewhat vague. While the Idle Rich were certainly gentleman, Queen Elizabeth I promoted the hard working hatters of England from journeymen to gentleman.

 

[Miss_Bella_Hell]

In that case I stand a chance of being a gentleman....

...well, I try.

It's a class system thing, I suspect. We don't really have one here, at least not like exists in Britain.

 

[Sefton]

A true gentleman doesn't tell.

Kinda makes for a short thread, doesn't it?

 

[avedwards]

It's a class system thing, I suspect. We don't really have one here, at least not like exists in Britain.

The class system no longer really exists in England. There are those who consider themselves middle class and will attempt to be better mannered (but it often comes accross as snobbish). But overall, I think the term gentlman can aply to anyone in England, as it depends on manners more than class.

 

[Foofoogal]

“A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.” Oscar Wilde

I wonder if this covers not disrespecting someones whole belief system?

 

[dhermann1]

Shakespeare said it best

Here's what Hamlet has to say on the subject:

LORD POLONIUS
My lord, I will use them according to their desert.

HAMLET
God's bodykins, man, much better: use every man
after his desert, and who should 'scape whipping?
Use them after your own honour and dignity: the less
they deserve, the more merit is in your bounty.
Take them in.

 

[Miss_Bella_Hell]

The class system no longer really exists in England. There are those who consider themselves middle class and will attempt to be better mannered (but it often comes accross as snobbish). But overall, I think the term gentlman can aply to anyone in England, as it depends on manners more than class.

I wonder, though. Can't one tell, based on accent alone, whether one is rich or poor, and where someone is from?

 

[Marc Chevalier]

In many countries, yes. In Chile, for instance, an accent can reveal not only one's socioeconomic class, but --in some cases-- even the particular (old, moneyed, powerful) family the speaker comes from.


.

 

[HoosierDaddy]

Gentleman...? Well..I probably have manners to a fault in many circles of today's world. I have been discribed as a "gentleman" many times..and a few times probably to my chagrin...but would rather have it that way.
HD

 

[Hemingway Jones]

The term "gentleman" has been liberated from its Medieval roots for quite some time now and, in modern usage, means, a man, it is gender restrictive, who treats others with dignity and respect. This would appear to be the least one must do earn the term.

It would also appear to me that one of the many ways to fall short is to claim this trait for oneself.

 

[Spitfire]

As my grandfather used to say:
"A gentleman is a man who can describe a woman, without the use of his hands!"