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any old-school housewives??

VintageVixie

Registered User
Messages
89
Location
City of Roses
I had a situation where I was living the kind of housewifery I always wanted to. It was very nice, and then it turned out my fiance is... not who he seemed to be. So now I live with my mom. I do hope that one day I meet a nice, sane guy and have that kind of situation again, especially since I'm going to be a single mom.

While here, I do at least still get to cook for her a lot. I like to have someone to cook for, even if it's not a partner.
 

kyda

One of the Regulars
Messages
142
Location
Western Australia
SAHM

I am a stay at home mum and I love it, I am looking forward to my children going to school so that my house may be some what cleaner but most of all I am looking forward to doing things that my Mum was never able to do ( we were transfered every two years) like the PTA, help in the canteen and the uniform shop etc:. I worked before I had children and I always said that when they are at school I would go back to work but as you can see I have changed my mind ( my husband is unaware of my plans at the moment, I will cross that bridge when I get to it !!!!!!!!!)
 

kamikat

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,794
Location
Maryland
I had always planned to go back to work when my youngest son entered full day school. I worked for 1 month and realized it just didn't worked out for my family. My husband works LONG days, usually until 8-9pm. Most of the afterschool daycare programs around here close at 6pm. As a hairstylist, I had a hard time finding a salon that didn't require me to work nights. I only worked every other day, but still felt like I had trouble keeping up with the household chores. Then, we had a series of illnesses, first one son, then the other. Again, salons don't work like other businesses. If you aren't at work, you don't get paid. After 2 weeks of having to miss work, to stay home with sick kids, I was decided it just wasn't worth it. Now, I volunteer in the school library 2 days per week. It's perfect. They don't mind if I have to stay home with a sick child, I get to see my sons during the day, get to chat with the teachers and staff and I'm learning new computer skills and considering going back to school for library science.
 

kamikat

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,794
Location
Maryland
MarieAnne said:
And speaking of old-school, anyone using/used cloth diapers?
I used All-In-Ones with both of my boys. I recently babysat for a baby in cloth and was amazed at the pocket dipes. I could have used those back then. My boys were heavy wetters.
 

MarieAnne

Practically Family
Messages
555
Location
Ontario
I'm using prefolds with covers. It's not bad. I know my grandma had two-three kids in cloth at one time and they didn't have a washing machine. I don't know how she did it.
 

kyda

One of the Regulars
Messages
142
Location
Western Australia
we did give it a great deal of thought, in the long run it would have been cheaper but the start up cost was more and I would have used disposables at night and when we went out.
 

exquisitebones

A-List Customer
Messages
339
Location
Vancouver
I am sort of....
My Husband works full time. and I own a baby boutique that I bring my 2 kids to with me everyday. then I come home and cook dinner and veg out lol
My kids drive me bonkers but I am SO glad I am with them all day!



I was raised in Daycare, so its a sensitive subject for me. I dont get the concept of daycare really. I was in daycare 40 hours a week. I was not raised by my parents. I was put to bed by them [huh]

But that being said, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. single moms need all the help they can get and I applaud them for making it all work!
 

kamikat

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,794
Location
Maryland
exquisitebones said:
I was raised in Daycare, so its a sensitive subject for me. I dont get the concept of daycare really. I was in daycare 40 hours a week. I was not raised by my parents. I was put to bed by them [huh]

But that being said, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. single moms need all the help they can get and I applaud them for making it all work!

That's the reason why I do afterschool care for my son's best friend. His parents' marriage was really bad and mom is SOOO much better off without the dad, but I felt bad for the kid. The afterschool care at the school has so many kids and not many adults, the ratio is worse than in class. It would be better for him to be home with his mom, but at least at my house, he gets my attention when he needs it, help with homework, homecooked snacks and stability. He's known me and my sons since he was in kindergarten.
 

VintageVixie

Registered User
Messages
89
Location
City of Roses
^That's wonderful of you to be there and help that boy and his mom.

I'm glad I will be a stay at home mom, but it's only possibly because I will be living with my mother. So I do know it will be that way for the first few years at least.
 

Bunny

New in Town
Messages
44
Location
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
I'm not a traditional housewife, but my mom was when I was growing up and it was great!

I have two careers (so to speak): I work in the Fit and Quality Dept of a major women's retailer here in Canada and in my free time I work in the theatre community as an actor and a stage manager...

But I really aspire to be a stay at home mom one day!! Lol! ;)
 

Lareesie Ladavi

One of the Regulars
Messages
210
Location
Weatherless Socal
I'm up in the air about it all. I've done both and can say I feel like a no one when I'm not working.
I am forced to be the housewife, with work that comes in spurts and I'm a care provider for my mother. I can honestly say, I hate being home.
My mother was the 50s stereotype housewife (before she fell ill) and I just knew it wasn't for me. She was the oldest of 6 brother and sisters and cared for them before getting married.
I saw a lot of subservient behavior between my mother and my father. I think she gave up a lot of her dreams and herself to be this person. Back then, she claimed she liked it, but I know she didn't. I feel she got burned in the end, as a lot of women did, back in the day.
She loved to sew and sewed all my clothes and I can't help, but think she could have done something with that.

On another note, I use to work daycare and named my son after a kid that I helped care for. He was the underdog, so I empathized with him. His mother was single and had to work a lot, to make ends meet. The boy was troubled and had some issues that I think his mother had a hard time dealing with on her own. There were a few children there, that had issues, that I figure stem from lack of parental attention. I never judged the parents. You do what you got to do.

I think this country has made the family unit nonexistant. I think it's horrible that both people in the home have to work their asses off, just to "get by". It's been this way for far too long.
I honestly don't know how people can fork over the cash for daycare either. That, in itself, can suck away your paycheck.
 

MarieAnne

Practically Family
Messages
555
Location
Ontario
Lareesie Ladavi said:
I'm up in the air about it all. I've done both and can say I feel like a no one when I'm not working.
I am forced to be the housewife, with work that comes in spurts and I'm a care provider for my mother. I can honestly say, I hate being home.
My mother was the 50s stereotype housewife (before she fell ill) and I just knew it wasn't for me. She was the oldest of 6 brother and sisters and cared for them before getting married.
I saw a lot of subservient behavior between my mother and my father. I think she gave up a lot of her dreams and herself to be this person. Back then, she claimed she liked it, but I know she didn't. I feel she got burned in the end, as a lot of women did, back in the day.
She loved to sew and sewed all my clothes and I can't help, but think she could have done something with that.

On another note, I use to work daycare and named my son after a kid that I helped care for. He was the underdog, so I empathized with him. His mother was single and had to work a lot, to make ends meet. The boy was troubled and had some issues that I think his mother had a hard time dealing with on her own. There were a few children there, that had issues, that I figure stem from lack of parental attention. I never judged the parents. You do what you got to do.

I think this country has made the family unit nonexistant. I think it's horrible that both people in the home have to work their asses off, just to "get by". It's been this way for far too long.
I honestly don't know how people can fork over the cash for daycare either. That, in itself, can suck away your paycheck.

I feel like a lot of problems we are facing today (health and social issues) can be helped by strong and fuctional family units. Being home for supper and cooking hearty meals, packing healthy lunches, kissing boobooos, playing red rover, teaching manners and kindness helps kids grow up to be healthy and well adjusted adults. I think the dynamics of the nuclear family and it's implications are completely underestimated and it breaks my heart.
 

kyda

One of the Regulars
Messages
142
Location
Western Australia
We are not aloud to be parents, if you spank your child you can be charged with abuse. There is a difference between smacking and beating, and generally a smack is after you have said No, don't do that, diverted from what they are doing that is wrong and a smack is out of frustration.

Also the fact that both parents work because if they don't they will loose their house or not be able to put food on the table they are not there to teach manners, put meals on the table, and make sure that there kids are not roaming the streets. I think ( and this is just my opinion ,if this is to political bartenders please feel free to remove it) that society and governments have a great deal to do with this and need to do something before it gets to bad that we can't function.
 

VintageVixie

Registered User
Messages
89
Location
City of Roses
Spanking and that kind of thing is a whole different issue.

Lareesie Ladavi said:
I think this country has made the family unit nonexistant. I think it's horrible that both people in the home have to work their asses off, just to "get by". It's been this way for far too long.
I honestly don't know how people can fork over the cash for daycare either. That, in itself, can suck away your paycheck.


I agree, it's ridiculous. It's one thing a family can't stay together due to illness or addictions, or a mom or dad has to leave with the kids for their protection- it's quite another that the only reason I am going to make it at all as a single mom is because my 62 year old mother who is working two jobs as it is has taken me in. Circumstances happened as they did and I make the best of it. I'm fortunate to have a small monthly income without working (personal reasons) but without that, oh I just don't know.

I'm not sure how anyone not making the median income (in San Diego, that's $72k according to a recent SD County Housing Authority site I was looking at) can even afford daycare.

When I think about working after the baby is born, I realize all my money would go to daycare.

Given that choice, I'd rather be broke, not work, and stay at home until they're at least in school. Otherwise I would be broke anyway, only not there for my son or daughter either.
 

Foofoogal

Banned
Messages
4,884
Location
Vintage Land
one thing for sure is they grow up very, very fast and you can never get those formative years back.
I would not give the years I stayed home with my 2 children when they were babies for 2 million dollars.
 

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