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I went to Birdland in NYC last week to hear Lucky Peterson. Great show, and a great time.
The Birdland Jazz club looks exactly like all those small dinner clubs you see in movies from the 1940s and 50s - small tables for two with a candle, and everyone right up close to the stage. The bar is in the back.
Now I am old school, and if I am seated at a bar or lunch counter, (or shooting pool) I keep my hat on.
If I'm at a table, it's hats off, and I did so here. But what surprised me is a number of men (I counted five) who kept their hats on while seated at tables. Are they ignorant of the rules of etiquette, or don't they care, or have things changed?
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Many times, in restaurants, I've seen guys at tables with their hats on. I have wanted to politely approach them and remind them that "a gentleman doffs his hat when seated at a table." But the possibility of an "off-the-menu" knuckle sandwich has so far deterred me.
I usually leave my hat in my car because so few places have safe areas to leave it. I’m not keeping it on my lap or on the table and you can’t depend on an empty chair. If I don’t have my car handy it sometimes remains on my head just because there isn’t a good alternative. The places I frequent don’t offer hat/coat check.
All etiquette is contrived and constantly changing, and quite often very arbitrary. The style leaders of the past were the rule breakers of their day.
I’d also say that the person “reminding” others of etiquette is being less polite and more boorish than the hatted offender; I’m glad you resisted the urge to confront them.
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