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The best rule is to never say anything in private that you wouldn't be willing to stand behind in person, in public, before an audience of millions. Such is life in the 21st Century.
Shouldn't that be a rule for general life, though?
I shouldn't say things about people or situations I wouldn't be willing to say to their face or broadcast. This is how I try my best to live my life. I also don't say things to other people I don't feel should be repeated or would hurt the person if it got back to them I was repeating them. Also I try not to have morals that are wishy washy- the type of "morals" a person is proud to say in a small group but not proud to say in public aren't really morals. This doesn't mean having to be on guard all the time when you say things, it means thinking before you say something that you don't really mean.
For instance, if I call someone a name, I would have no problems saying that to their face if asked because I am willing to deal with the consequences. I know full well if I tell someone I think "so and so" is a jerk that they may be told I think they're a jerk. If I am concerned over someone and say something that would be tough for the other person to hear, I make sure to preface it enough and make sure it is actually out of concern instead of rumor or some other motivation.
For instance, I have a young cousin whom I believe needs to move on from her husband's death which happened almost three years ago. I've discussed this with my aunt (her mother) but I have not said anything I would feel bad about saying to her face if forced or someone brought it up that I was talking about it. Now would I bring it up with the cousin myself? No, because it would unnecessarily hurt her in her grief. But if someone told her about what I was saying, even if she was badly hurt (and I'd expect her to be somewhat hurt), I know my intentions were good and I've made damned sure that the cousin knows how valuable her husband was and is to our family. She would know it wasn't gossip or meant to hurt her or make fun of her grief.
I'm not advocating for a lack of privacy, or that you should never expect to have it. I expect to have it to a certain extent, just like everyone else. I don't think the government or others should be able to intrude on my personal life or persecute people for their views. But expecting privacy doesn't mean I should live my life like I can say anything I want to damn with the rest of society. While I understand privacy and wanting to have it, I try to live my life in a way I can be proud of. That doesn't always mean I succeed, but I try.
I really get concerned with public figures (and this is not about Baldwin, but more about elected officials, for instance) who seem to have one persona in public and are caught with a different one in private. I don't like that when I see it in others and it wouldn't be too flattering if it happened to me.
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