Agony column?

[EvaS]

Thankfully, the few people I've cut ties with made it easy because they also always expected me to be the one to call or visit. I simply stopped calling and visiting them.

The same situation and now I will even better.

 

[sheeplady]

Sigh, more health insurance stuff.

This time I received an explanation of benefits saying I owed zero dollars on a claim, because it wasn't submitted right or on time by the provider (almost 2 years old). Now my insurance company has reopened the claim (after closing it) and allowed the provider to resubmit. And the insurance company has told me the provider is out of network, so I'll probably owe the whole thing.

Sigh. I hate insurance. I'm calling again tomorrow to go over the details and then I'm logging a compliant.

Like any of us get 2 years to pay our bills; I'm certain this provider won't give me two years to get my act together and pay them.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Wish there was a "ARGH!" button here. Dealing with insurance companies is like trying to carry loose soup in your bare hands.

 

[sheeplady]

Called today. Turns out my insurance company reopened it past the timely filing date (voluntarily) and then rejected it again for lack of preauthorization. The provider has 90 days to appeal.

The saga continues.

I am still somewhat suspicious about the whole process. I also want 2 years to get stuff right, like paying my bills.

 

[MissNathalieVintage]

Current update:
Thank you for all the prayers I need every single one.
Please pray for me. I have a meeting on Monday to try and get some of my suspended pay back. Pray that the people listening to me will not close their eyes or ears to the truth about the abuse I suffer every work day. And my narcissistic boss and narcissistic supervisor are attacking me because these two ladies know they are going to be exposed again, from my telling the truth about their abuse and harassment against me. At the meeting on Monday.

And my landlord will not schedule a real appointment with me so we can sit down and talk about why I owe back rent.

What I mean by real is my landlord has scheduled appointments with me. Only he scheduled everyone for last minute without giving me any notice.

One day I happen to be on my way out to the supermarket in my housedress and no make up.

My landlord just happened to be in the building that day looking at one of the empty apartments. My landlord opens up the window and shouts across the yard at me asking to meet with me. I thought to myself, what a jerk yelling at me as I was on my way out expecting me to drop my life and run after him. I shouted back no and I left.

And he Emailed me more then once after a lot of back and fourth with my Emailing him the day and times I am free, yet he still schedules appointments at the last minute, I quit answering those messages back.

All of a sudden he now says he can not meet with me unless I tell him what it is that I want to talk to him about. And I am thinking what a jerk he knows its about the rent and he wants me to give him personal details over the internet. I did not respond and continued to Email back the day and time I am free.

My landlord Emailed me a reminder saying I owe back rent. I thanked him for the reminder and told him I can not pay it at the moment. And once again Emailed that I need to schedule an appiontment to speak with him in person.
My landlord has not returned my last Email request for a scheduled appointment and that was over a month ago.

 

[HadleyH1]

^^^

MissNathalieVintage ....I am sorry you are going through this. I wish you all the best and send positive thoughts your way. Hope everything works out well for you.

 

[MarieAnne]

MissNathalieVintage—That's terrible. I really hope it all gets sorted out soon.

 

[St. Louis]

Thinking good thoughts and wishing good wishes. Stay strong.

 

[MissNathalieVintage]

Update:
Praise the Lord! WOOHOO! Happy Dance. I am finally leaving the lion's den! HR called me yesterday asking me if I still wanted to transfer. I start work in my new department on Oct. 1.
Thank you ever so much for your prayers. )

Even though I am getting out I am still fighting to get some of my suspended pay back. I was able to present my case and came to the meeting well prepared. And was able to point out with the help of the Union Stewarts to also help with my case.

I was suspended 3 times with in 3 months for the same exact thing, and why was I served the same suspention back to back. The two ladies conducting the meeting one whom I worked with for more the 5 years. And I was able to say my only ever issue was being tardy, and she responded with 'I remember'. And there was talk about my having issues with the new computer software, which I've gone to training for 4 times already. And the lady I use to work with trying to get me to say I did not understand the new software. To which I repeated my self over and over and said 'I do not have any problems with the new software', until til she said ok. And I was asked about being abused to which I pulled out a large stack of incidents, and said 'I have a laundry list of incidents including a very recent one'.
To which the lady said she will look into this and also check my files for all the supensions. Since I did not have every print out of each suspention in my packet. And I was able to give her some documents showing how demoted in my duties I am. And I was also able to give her some documents showing way back in 2015 when I worked with my narc boss until she transfered. How my narc boss stated in an Email that I am doing a good job.

My last suspention was in August for 15 days and I was only got paid $81 for the one day I was not suspended.

And now my land lord Emailed me asking for the full amout of back rent that has not been paid. I am still going to tell him I can not pay the full amount at this time. And I will be able to pay off the rent a little at a time untill the full debt is paid. And that will not be until some time in December 2018.
And I am still going to ask for an appointment to talk about the reason why I am unable to pay the full back rent. And that the matter can not be talked about over Email since I have personal documents that can not be shared in an Email.

 

[AmateisGal]

I'm so glad things are going better on the work front! I hope things continue to improve.

 

[MissNathalieVintage]

Update time part 2:
Its been two weeks since one of my work transfers went through. And so far my new department co-workers have been very nice and encouraging to me. Plus I do not just work with only a female crew any more. The men also in my department have been super nice and help full too.

And I adore the freedom I have. So far no one has been spying on me and picking at every little thing I do.

And on Fridays (AKA Freedom Friday) a co-worker gets to prepare a special treat for our department. And each staff member gets to play their favorite style of music or listen to the radio while we work. Mine is gospel, I played some of my Elvis and Johnny Cash gospel tunes.

And I'm slowly starting to feel more myself at work.

I've been wearing my favorite fun T-shirts to my new work department that triggered my ex-narc boss and ex-narc supervisor. And so far I got cool feed back from some of my new co-workers. Other co-workers they just look at my T-shirt.

I figured I'd let my new co-workers see the real me and if they have issues with me wearing my fun Elvis t-shirts, Happy Healthy Vegan, and atomic swag t-shirts. Then I'll know now rather then later. So far so good.

At the moment, I am having trouble sleeping, I've been spraying lavender room and body mist on my beding before I go to sleep, and I feel so much guilt. Singing and listening to gospel music always makes me feel so much better.

And doing the silent prayer in the morning and at night also helps me become less in my head all the time. I noticed when I do not do the silent prayer before I go to sleep I end up having bad dreams.

The only time I feel more myself is when I am at home. And I've been continuing to go out and socialize or do things outside of my home by myself that make me happy. Even when I am so nervous before I go out. Since I know I will always be glad I left the house and had some fun.

I have a purse size calender book that I use and write down events and appointments I have planed. This helps a ton since I'll forget that I had a very busy month and did take the time to go out and have some fun.

I still have my notebook of recorded narc harassment that I've gone through. And it totally helped me when I wrote it all down and I'm able to use this notebook as proof of the narc abuse.

Now, with the help from the union I am still fighting to get my suspended pay checks back.

And I Emailed the Landlord and told him there are personal documents that can not be shared over the phone or Email and that I'll still need an apointment to speak about the rent.
And in my Email I told the landlord the full back rent will not be paid until some time in December 2018. And I heard nothing back yet, its been over a month since this last Email.

 

[St. Louis]

I'm so glad you're happier at work. Since that's where we spend most of our waking lives, it's very important to have a good work environment. I'm not surprised you're experiencing some trouble sleeping -- all transitions can be stressful, even wonderful ones. I can tell you that I got excellent advice from a sleep doctor some years ago, which really helped. It's all on various web sites out there, so I don't need to repeat it in detail here. Here's one -- but there are many others (just look for "sleep hygiene.") I followed this advice to the best of my ability & I can tell you that it made an enormous difference.

https://www.sleepfoundation.org/sleep-topics/sleep-hygiene

 

[Lady Day]

Ugh, ladies. Its been a frustrating year for me. The main reason Ive been so spotty here is my current client has kept me busy and frustrated. I signed an NDA, so I can't chat to what I'm doing, but lets just say the pay schedule has destroyed my budget. As in, I can't make one because I'm paid so inconsistently.

I'd never been paid on time and it's really hurt everything I've been trying to build this year. But when you need a job, you need a job, right? It's gotten so bad I've got picked up extra work to cover the pay for the job I've done but with late fees and penalties, it does not matter much. My own little business needs revenue, and when that stream is blocked, random floods of money can't fix everything.

It's been a mess and kept me up at night worrying. I'm just lucky my building manager is so amazing and understanding. Grrrr.

I'm looking into recourses for the spotty pay. I'll keep you posted.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Thoughts to you, LD. I know the frustration of dealing with slow clients, and having to keep dunning for work that's already been completed is Not Fun. That's one reason I joined the National Writers Union some years ago -- one of the services they offer is collection assistance for freelancers, and the threat of going on an Unfair list can be a remarkable motivator for some of these operations. Dunno if there's something like that available in your line, but if there is, it's worth looking at.

And that said, I'm looking at some freelance frustration myself. For the better part of a decade I've had a steady writing gig that paid me an amount that comes to about a third of my monthly income -- and this month the assignments have suddenly dried up. I'm supposed to work forty hours a month for these folks and so far I've only got ten, which isn't going to cut it when the bills come due. A 33 percent pay cut is really deep right now, especially when I'm swamped with medical bills (ha ha ha "The American Health Care System Is The Finest In THe WOrld" ha ha ha I'm ready to defect to Cuba ha ha ha if only I could speak Spanish ha ha ha).

I'm looking at some drastic cuts in my monthly expenses to try and cover the loss of income -- but if anybody knows of anybody who needs a good pop-culture writer and is willing to pay actual money for it -- I don't work for "exposure" -- I'm available. See my NWU listing here.

 

[MarieAnne]

Lady Day, Lizzie Maine, you write? That's wonderful. I'm sorry to hear you are struggling with payments and assignments.
I need to vent, hard. I am the director of our local theater. One of our cast members stalked me and broke into our home on Thanksgiving (Canadian). Our daughter went to a sleepover, so the hubby and I went out with friends. Came home to a house that had obviously been broken into. My husband found him passed out in our bed. My husband threw him out and then chased after him. It was awful. I ran after them; I could hear my husband yelling, but I couldn't find him. It was dark and snowing. I called 911 three times, and the cops never came. The husband and SOB happened to run into a cop car: SOB was taken in, and the husband came home. Three hours later, the cops showed up. They came only to grab the SOB's shoes and glasses.
He left notes in our home! Quoted the play!
Now, our lead male has shit the bed, so I will be replacing him. Learned the lines and cues. Working on costuming and hair today. Our opening night is this Friday.
I'm exhausted and can't wait for this month to be over.

 

[LizzieMaine]

I've had some weird experiences dealing with actors, but that one takes the cake. I suppose the cops were busy staking out a donut shop or something equally productive.

I don't know if I could go on with a show after something like that. You are made of stern stuff, and I salute you.

 

[MissMittens]

Lady Day, Lizzie Maine, you write? That's wonderful. I'm sorry to hear you are struggling with payments and assignments.
I need to vent, hard. I am the director of our local theater. One of our cast members stalked me and broke into our home on Thanksgiving (Canadian). Our daughter went to a sleepover, so the hubby and I went out with friends. Came home to a house that had obviously been broken into. My husband found him passed out in our bed. My husband threw him out and then chased after him. It was awful. I ran after them; I could hear my husband yelling, but I couldn't find him. It was dark and snowing. I called 911 three times, and the cops never came. The husband and SOB happened to run into a cop car: SOB was taken in, and the husband came home. Three hours later, the cops showed up. They came only to grab the SOB's shoes and glasses.
He left notes in our home! Quoted the play!
Now, our lead male has shit the bed, so I will be replacing him. Learned the lines and cues. Working on costuming and hair today. Our opening night is this Friday.
I'm exhausted and can't wait for this month to be over.

Sorry to hear that happened I haven't had a home invasion, but part of the reason I stopped posting on FL a couple of years ago was due to being stalked by someone. It ended up getting so bad the person was arrested and jailed. Ironically, not because of the harassment, they got probation for that, but for violating that probation and skipping the state instead of reporting to their probation officer. I'm so glad you're all okay and that you and your family are unscathed!

 

[Lady Day]

Wow, Ladies! I'm so sorry all of this has happened to you! Geeze!
I wish I knew what to say! That sucks! So hard!

 

[MarieAnne]

It all worked out. Husband thought I had an affair with him—showed him all my texts and messages to prove that wasn't the case. The play came together perfectly, and it was a big hit!
After our last performance, the producer and I were talking about how the show was jinxed. We had so much bad luck! We toasted to "finally being out of the woods." Called it a bit too soon though.
During the after party, one of our cast members had a pretty serious cardiac emergency and had to be rushed to hospital. It worked out: a soldier, a 911 dispatcher, and a paramedic were all less than 10' away when it happened. The person was released the next day and is doing well.

 

[ThankfulGirl]

Sooooo.....this is the first time I've "said" this and you ladies a re all being so supportive so here goes.
I have lupus and indeed it sucks mighty-wise, and due to the lupus I have rosacea so I've gone from pale impeccable English rose complexion to surface of the moon. And that's rubbish but it is what it is and woo hoo cosmetics, you know?
And now twice in 12 months because the rosacea gives me dry eyes I've torn my cornea, and this time it's scarred to the point that my sight is affected.
I'm a writer and a dressmaker and an embroider-er. It scares me so much.