A Hobo Wedding

[ButteMT61]

Even if that's all true...tough nuggets. I'd like to smack about 98% of everyone that says something offends them.

 

[Gregg Axley]

Had mine at an Uncle's house. The catering was donated as a present to us, and so were the pictures. All in all, maybe $1500 (for my suit and my wife's dress). We just wanted it this way, plus my wife wasn't from here and we didn't want to drive 12hrs to have it in her town.

 

[Bluebird Marsha]

Sometimes I believe the 21st century interwebz are completely inhabited by virtual 19th century old maid ladies who hear something they disapprove of, and promptly head for the fainting couch with a case of the vapors. Or in this case- their keyboards.

I'm tempted to quote Lazarus Long on what should be said to Mrs. Grundy....nah, too easy.

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

Sometimes I believe the 21st century interwebz are completely inhabited by virtual 19th century old maid ladies who hear something they disapprove of, and promptly head for the fainting couch with a case of the vapors. Or in this case- their keyboards.

And I thought WE were the vintage ones! lol

 

[Flipped Lid]

I confess that I missed the $15,000 pricetag. I still think the critics ought to mind their own business, but it does cause me to look at this from a different perspective. While not a lot of money as weddings go these days, I hardly consider $15,000 a limited budget. You could still put on a pretty nice traditional wedding for that kind of money if you limited the guest list to family and close friends.

I think what upset a lot of people about this is that:
1. They said they had a limited budget (to some people 15K is a good chunk to spend on a wedding)
2. Decided on a theme that some associated with poverty.
3. When attacked by those who were upset with #2, they presented themselves as something they are not- impoverished- in order to validate themselves with the people who were upset about #2. ("Poor" was the actual term used by the groom on his twitter account.)
4. Used the 15K wedding figure as evidence of their "poor" or impoverished financial state.
5. And therefore looked flippant about actual poverty.

 

[DanielJones]

It appears those folks were having a grand time and a memorable wedding party. Didn't appear that anyone was hurt either. My folks survived the depression but I don't think that they would be offended by it being called a hobo wedding. I know my Mom would have had fun with it. Of course what it would take to offend my Folks would kill most people. The folks that get overly offended I think have nothing better to do and are not happy unless they have something to complain about. They just don't like it when someone else is just plain happy. Again, they hurt no one, looked like they were quite happy and had a good time. That wedding will be remembered for some time to come too. And I would have to agree that the hobo wear in that wedding is better looking than what I see at other more "traditional" weddings.

Cheers!

Dan

 

[PrettySquareGal]

Mine cost $10. And it was worth every penny.

ha!!!

 

[PrettySquareGal]

Even if that's all true...tough nuggets. I'd like to smack about 98% of everyone that says something offends them.

You are offended by people who are offended and take it a step further and want to silence them with a smack. Now THAT'S kooky!

 

[PrettySquareGal]

Sometimes I believe the 21st century interwebz are completely inhabited by virtual 19th century old maid ladies who hear something they disapprove of, and promptly head for the fainting couch with a case of the vapors. Or in this case- their keyboards.

I'm tempted to quote Lazarus Long on what should be said to Mrs. Grundy....nah, too easy.

Interesting. We've got some older, single ladies who are 19th century enthusiasts here, some with old fashioned sensibilities, but I don't think any of them are so backwards as to use the label "old maid."

 

[PrettySquareGal]

I mentioned the Hobo wedding in the "Will there be a second Great depression" thread because of the term "Hobo Chic." We were discussing the issue of some people romanticizing poverty while living comfortably. The thing that struck me most about this wedding was the irony that they spent 15k to recreate a wedding that wouldn't have cost a dime.

 

[Lady Day]

I think what upset a lot of people about this is that:
1. They said they had a limited budget (to some people 15K is a good chunk to spend on a wedding)
2. Decided on a theme that some associated with poverty.
3. When attacked by those who were upset with #2, they presented themselves as something they are not- impoverished- in order to validate themselves with the people who were upset about #2. ("Poor" was the actual term used by the groom on his twitter account.)
4. Used the 15K wedding figure as evidence of their "poor" or impoverished financial state.
5. And therefore looked flippant about actual poverty.

The average 'real' wedding goes for $25 to $40K these days, so the budget for their festivities was below average. Might be a lot of money to you (to me as well) but yes, that is a small budget for the average wedding, like it or not.

Did they actually use the word or phrasing they were poor, or merely imply they didn't have a lot of money? I've been hearing people say they said they were impoverished, and destitute. Did they say that or something like that or did they say something like, 'we don't have a lot of money'? Huge difference in the interpretation of that.

I find this amusing. People romanticize eras all the time. Victorian, Roman, Egyptian, WWII. Those seem to be alright, but these people using the romanticized notion of simplicity and scaled down from this era are disrespecting it?

Wow.

DL

 

[LizzieMaine]

This whole business could go down as a textbook example of the internet mob mentality at work -- as soon as one person criticised, on came the rest of them, with torches lit and tongues flapping. We've seen the *exact* same thing happen here at the FL -- remember the Time Warp Wives debacle? In such cases it's never about a true moral question -- I find it hard to believe that any of these commentators are actually *that* outraged about this. It's simply a matter of coming along, seeing a mob beating up on someone, and seeing a chance to win the mob's approval by getting in a few licks of one's own. Facts are irrelevant in situations like this -- it's all about being one of the crowd.

 

[Gregg Axley]

They could have put it on for less but didn't. At first I thought these were people dressed in the best they had, etc. Then I saw the price tag too.
For $15K they could have easily done a lot of other weddings mentioned by Lady Day.
I'd love to see an Egyptian one, but then again when asked "who gives this bride away" and the father answers "her mummy and I do", it would just be over the top.
What we could have done with $15K. Real champagne, a nice dress for my wife, a band that knew all the songs, etc. We didn't want it nor did we want to saddle anyone with debt because neither family had that kind of cash available. What happened to simple weddings? I think our society has lost it's marbles when it comes to celebrating a joyous occasion. Instead of a memory, they have a production! Very odd....

 

[sheeplady]

The average 'real' wedding goes for $25 to $40K these days, so the budget for their festivities was below average. Might be a lot of money to you (to me as well) but yes, that is a small budget for the average wedding, like it or not.

Did they actually use the word or phrasing they were poor, or merely imply they didn't have a lot of money? I've been hearing people say they said they were impoverished, and destitute. Did they say that or something like that or did they say something like, 'we don't have a lot of money'? Huge difference in the interpretation of that.

The median cost of a wedding in the US is $18,000. That means that half of couples getting married spend less than $18,000 and half spend more than $18,000. (Averages tend to be skewed upwards by a few high numbers, like celeb weddings.) In light of that, 15K isn't all that frugal. Half of the people in the US who need to have figured how to spend around that figure or less.

The exact statement by the groom was "everything I've said in my defense is also wrong. you spent so much on the wedding! actually no we're actually poor. then get job!" He later said of his critics, "It's like a non-stop parade of homeless people and they're ALL PISSED THAT I GOT MARRIED." (Emphasis is his.) He also comments that his wage is only slightly more than what a hobo gets paid ((I have got to assume this last one is sarcasm).

 

[Miss Peach]

With all of the websites out there dedicated to creativity, I'm amazed at just how many weddings are banal and identical. I'm surprised that, given the nod (be it faux from the outrage we see here?) to creativity and frugality, that so many people are so quick to want to squash it. I laud them for doing something a little different and tailoring it to their personalities. The guests seem really happy and maybe relieved to be able to be themselves a bit (not meaning hobos but shedding some of the "I have to wear heels...it's a wedding" mentality).

I am not married yet, but I have a fraction--FRACTION--of that budget. I'm going to HAVE to get creative...but that makes me happy because I know that it will be "me" and not "canned." You can't buy class.

 

[Feraud]

This whole business could go down as a textbook example of the internet mob mentality at work -- as soon as one person criticised, on came the rest of them, with torches lit and tongues flapping. We've seen the *exact* same thing happen here at the FL -- remember the Time Warp Wives debacle? In such cases it's never about a true moral question -- I find it hard to believe that any of these commentators are actually *that* outraged about this. It's simply a matter of coming along, seeing a mob beating up on someone, and seeing a chance to win the mob's approval by getting in a few licks of one's own. Facts are irrelevant in situations like this -- it's all about being one of the crowd.

Agreed. It is very much an example of the internet mob mentality.
On the comedic side.. such anger and reactions is so flaccid. Flame wars, etc. have to be at the bottom rung of any kind of real outrage or response to a perceived injustice.
Technology has made wimps of people. Self-righteous keyboard activitsts..HA!

 

[Lady Day]

The median cost of a wedding in the US is $18,000. That means that half of couples getting married spend less than $18,000 and half spend more than $18,000. (Averages tend to be skewed upwards by a few high numbers, like celeb weddings.) In light of that, 15K isn't all that frugal. Half of the people in the US who need to have figured how to spend around that figure or less.

The exact statement by the groom was "everything I've said in my defense is also wrong. you spent so much on the wedding! actually no we're actually poor. then get job!" He later said of his critics, "It's like a non-stop parade of homeless people and they're ALL PISSED THAT I GOT MARRIED." (Emphasis is his.) He also comments that his wage is only slightly more than what a hobo gets paid ((I have got to assume this last one is sarcasm).

Well thank you for the pointing out the difference between median and average. As I learned in middle school when I learned the difference, as you said, each can be used to defend a particular point.

But I digress.

$15k, $18k, $25k it is their money, and they can do what they want with it. I still don't understand what people are angry about. Its a lot of reactionary stuff from both sides. People are turning up their noses at them spending $15k for their wedding and calling that a lot, but that might not have been a lot to them, whether they were 'poor' or not. I'm sorry these people don't meet your definition of poor. Or perhaps your definition is a stereotyped as their hobo wedding.

LD

 

[sheeplady]

I mentioned the Hobo wedding in the "Will there be a second Great depression" thread because of the term "Hobo Chic." We were discussing the issue of some people romanticizing poverty while living comfortably. The thing that struck me most about this wedding was the irony that they spent 15k to recreate a wedding that wouldn't have cost a dime.

Seriously, I can think of how to throw this wedding for much less than $1,000. I'd do it the way that people actually did during the depression- rather than just going for the "vintage look." In reality, that is all this couple was after is the look- not the actual meaning behind it- simplicity and frugality. And a celebration of love and family. But my wedding probably wouldn't look as nice- they were really photogenic- and really got the look.

I might be upset by the fact that they cut up vintage quilts to use as table runners, but I have no idea what kind of shape those quilts were in, what they are calling vintage, or what happened to the table runners when finished. I'd prefer that they bought or made their own table runners rather than cutting up valuable artwork, but most people would not agree with me.

 

[4spurs]

My wedding cost me next to nothing. It's the divorce that's cost me dearly.

 

[sheeplady]

$15k, $18k, $25k it is their money, and they can do what they want with it. I still don't understand what people are angry about. Its a lot of reactionary stuff from both sides. People are turning up their noses at them spending $15k for their wedding and calling that a lot, but that might not have been a lot to them, whether they were 'poor' or not. I'm sorry these people don't meet your definition of poor. Or perhaps your definition is a stereotyped as their hobo wedding.

LD

I agree that it is their money. I was trying to explain why some people got upset, I don't necessarily agree with those people.

I don't agree with the tone that it was said to them or some of the things that were said. (I actually find that some of the things that were said to this couple to be much worse than anything the couple said- magnitudes worse.) I don't find the content of the wedding itself as disrespectful (except for the quilts, which I don't have enough information about).

I do think at some point it would have benefited the couple if the groom had stepped away to cool off. I don't blame him for getting defensive (who wouldn't), but he could have chosen his words better. If he had, he wouldn't have fanned the flames. If you put your stuff on the internet, you have to realize that it is not going to be all rainbows. That is not to say that they deserved what was said to them (they truly didn't) but they were in control of their reactions to what was said to them.

My definition of poor may very well be stereotyped, my interpertation of things (like all people) is based upon my own experience in the world. Other people have other experiences, and everybodys' experience is valid. I think that this could be a meaningful discussion.