1945-1953: Generally a forgotten era?

[tonyb]

Perhaps they were trying to conceal the fact that they couldn't provide some things because
they couldn't afford it and didn't want to hurt your feelings.

My mother told me once that they did some dumb things as far as safety is concern with us
when we were young kids.

"It's a miracle you made it."
She would often tell me.

Bringing kids into this crazy world does not come with an
"auto-pilot" mode on how to raise kids the right way.

If the motive was not to hurt feelings, the attempt failed. I'd anything, it had the opposite effect.

 

[tonyb]

As a now nearly elderly person, I can almost find it in me to sympathize with those then quite young people who tasked themselves with raising little me and my siblings. Almost.

The lesson I take away from it is that attempts to spare children certain hard realities are more often than not much more selfishly motivated. There are truths the grownups would rather not face themselves. And the kids can detect it, even if they can't quite articulate it. What they are left with is the burden of the adults' shame projected onto them.

 

[2jakes]

As a now nearly elderly person, I can almost find it in me to sympathize with with those then quite young people who tasked themselves with raising little me and my siblings. Almost.

The lesson I take away from it is that attempts to spare children certain hard realities are more often than not much more selfishly motivated. There are truths the grownups would rather not face themselves. And the kids can detect it, even if they can't quite articulate it. What they are left with is the burden of the adults' shame projected onto them.

Perhaps this is the same lesson they may have applied themselves
later in life when they experienced similar situations growing up.

But the nature of things is such that they regretfully may have
repeated it with or without realizing the ramifications it brought
to you.

 

[tonyb]

Perhaps this is the same lesson they may have applied themselves
when they experienced similar situations.
But the nature of things is such that they regretfully may have
repeated it with or without realizing the ramifications to you.

Oh yeah. Kids raising kids. That's among the reasons it's great to have extended family nearby -- grandparents, especially.

My childhood was salvaged largely by my maternal grandfather, who attempted to let me and my brothers know that we weren't to blame for the difficult circumstances we found ourselves in thanks to our stepfather's poor decisions.

 

[Fading Fast]

I can understand your concerns growing up with such fears.

I grew up in the 50s.
I do recall my folks at times talk
about the bills.
They never had credit cards and
made the most of what they had.
And *Santa* always came through
in December for us .
Between the age of 3 to 6, I lived
with my grandma. That's where I
met jake. My grandma's dog.
He was the best friend who protected me from the bullies in
the neighborhood.
When I started elementary, I went
to live with my parents.
Both my parents worked to make sure there was food on the table.
Looking back, it is remarkable that
my father never drank or abuse
my mother. Something that was
common in the neighborhood.

My father never took me anywhere or teach me about things as a kid growing up. He did love me in
his own way by making sure I
never was hungry.

It was my uncle David, my grandma and ma that gave me
the love that I could feel by
doing things for me as a kid.
And without ever making me feel like, "what's in it for me?"

I believe that is where I got my
strength to take on the world as
I grew up to meet the 60s and
the rest.
It was later, I would realize how much my father did for us to
make sure that I had no fears
about the future.

It's interesting that you said "had no fears about the future," as it seems that instilling fear about the future was my father's intentional objective.

He believed that as long as he put a roof over your head and fed you - which he did - he had done his job. And maybe that's fair since his childhood was a day-to-day struggle for those things. But all I grew up with was fear that the depression would return, that I wouldn't have a job when I grew up, wouldn't be able to keep a roof over my head or food on the table.

I chuckle about all the "finding yourself," "do what you love," "make a difference," guidance kids get (and maybe is right) as that was all seen as absolutely nonsense in my house. Having a job that you hate was nothing to complain about - be glad you had the job.

While my girlfriend thinks my upbringing was border line abusive, I don't agree. I was very rarely hit as I quickly learned what he guardrails were and stayed inside them, always had shelter and food and only had to do a bunch of chore in return. I moved out right after high school as I didn't like the environment, but still, it seems to have been fair if tough compared to others houses / but also so much better than kids that were abused or aggressively neglected.

And one thing I'll give it, nothing life has thrown at me seems that tough since I was taught that life was hard and brutal and you'd have to fight to survive. It's funny that a feeling of security gave you the strength to take on the world; whereas, a feeling of arrant insecurity gave me the same.

 

[2jakes]

It's interesting that you said "had no fears about the future," as it seems that instilling fear about the future was my father's intentional objective.

He believed that as long as he put a roof over your head and fed you - which he did - he had done his job. And maybe that's fair since his childhood was a day-to-day struggle for those things. But all I grew up with was fear that the depression would return, that I wouldn't have a job when I grew up, wouldn't be able to keep a roof over my head or food on the table.

I chuckle about all the "finding yourself," "do what you love," "make a difference," guidance kids get (and maybe is right) as that was all seen as absolutely nonsense in my house. Having a job that you hate was nothing to complain about - be glad you had the job.

While my girlfriend thinks my upbringing was border line abusive, I don't agree. I was very rarely hit as I quickly learned what he guardrails were and stayed inside them, always had shelter and food and only had to do a bunch of chore in return. I moved out right after high school as I didn't like the environment, but still, it seems to have been fair if tough compared to others houses / but also so much better than kids that were abused or aggressively neglected.

And one thing I'll give it, nothing life has thrown at me seems that tough since I was taught that life was hard and brutal and you'd have to fight to survive. It's funny that a feeling of security gave you the strength to take on the world; whereas, a feeling of arrant insecurity gave me the same.

I should have emphasized "had no fears about the future as far as having
not to worry about being hungry as a kid."

But there was fear of the bullies when jake was no longer around.
Spanking from the school penguins if I didn't recite the prayers correctly.
And those painful shots from the clinic in the 50s that
I received every Thursday.
I hated the smell of that alcohol they rubbed before injecting those
painful huge needles.

But after my tour of duty in 'nam during my late teens and having survived.
Nothing that has been thrown at me seems that bad afterwards.

 

[Fading Fast]

...But after my tour of duty in 'nam during my late teens and having survived.
Nothing that has been thrown at me seems that bad afterwards.

I can understand that. I fully admit I was glad that war was over when I was of age. I did have to register - and would have served - but they never had a draft again. I can't image anything seeming intimidating / scaring after having served in that war.

And thank you - you are one of a small minority that provides / provided the freedom I live under.

 

[2jakes]

I can understand that. I fully admit I was glad that war was over when I was of age. I did have to register - and would have served - but they never had a draft again. I can't image anything seeming intimidating / scaring after having served in that war.

And thank you - you are one of a small minority that provides / provided the freedom I live under.

Thanks.
I didn't have a lot of friends in the military.
But, of those few that I did, were very special.

I do believe by the way you write, and being thoughtful.
If you had been with me over there, we would've had a swell time as much as possible
and we would've watched each other's back so that we could make it back home safely.

Cheers & let's have a pizza!
I'll treat .

 

[emigran]

My hat's off to you all for the spectacular perceptionsof the era that totally underscores who I am today (b.1947).