Want to buy or sell something? Check the classifieds
  • The Fedora Lounge is supported in part by commission earning affiliate links sitewide. Please support us by using them. You may learn more here.

You might be an Atavist.

reetpleat

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,681
Location
Seattle
If you are constantly having to tell people you are not Inspector Gadget, Indiana Jones, or Al Capone,

If you really love women with black hair and bangs, high heels, bullet bras and fishnet or seamed stockings, but you are not a sub,

If you tend bars in swanky retro bars or places that have not changed in many years, and everyone tells you you are perfect for the place,

If you use a computer, but only to watch Green Acres on Hulu, scour ebay for vintage clothing, hobnobbiing with fellow atavists, and downloading mp3s of Benny Goodman,

You might be an Atavist
 

reetpleat

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,681
Location
Seattle
If your neighbors wonder why you never fix your dryer, because you have been using a clothesline for the last five years.

You might be an atavist
 

Fletch

I'll Lock Up
Messages
8,865
Location
Iowa - The Land That Stuff Forgot
If you feel as awkward not wearing a tie as most men feel wearing one.

If you expect to be able to reach over your head in a suit coat without it folding up like a rag top.

If you use terms like "rag top."

If you have ever owned a rag top. Or a car with front quarter vents, AM-only radio, or 3 speeds manual.

If your exterminator has four paws and a reassuring purr.

If you associate Sundays with chicken, or wish you did.

If you think you could probably get along pretty well without Velcro.

If you have ever used baking soda for anything besides baking or leaving sit in the frig.

If you wish the kids' music these days had not just more melody and lyrics, but more horns.

If you have physically dialed a telephone whrrrrrrchk whrrrchk whrrrrrrrrrchk whrrchk in the past two decades.

If you have ever worn suspenders and slippers at the same time.

If you watch Antiques Roadshow and find the appraisers too terse.
 

LizzieMaine

Bartender
Messages
33,715
Location
Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
If you sent a strongly worded letter of complaint to the manager of the grocery store when they stopped carrying laundry bluing...

If you're still irritated that they got rid of the little key on the Spam can...

If you know all the words to "The Hut-Sut Song"...

If you constantly jam on the brake by mistake when you have to drive an automatic transmission car...

If you spend your night off darning your stockings...

If when someone talks about the Trial of the Century you expect them to mention Jafsie...

If you have a big stack of brown paper bags under your kitchen sink, just in case...

If Dr. Seuss makes you think of bug spray...

If you've ever laid awake at night wondering if Rocky really did turn yellow when he went to the chair....

If whenever you see a little kid in a rain hat, you think of soda crackers...

Yes, indeed, you might be an atavist.
 

Lady Day

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
Messages
9,087
Location
Crummy town, USA
reetpleat said:
If you use a computer, but only to watch Green Acres on Hulu, scour ebay for vintage clothing, hobnobbiing with fellow atavists, and downloading mp3s of Benny Goodman,

You might be an Atavist

This one is so me. But instead of Green Acres its season 2 of the Jeffersons and the original Muppet Show. I wonder if there is a Muppet Show iPhone app....

Id like to add if you soak all your whites at least a day prior to washing, if you hand wash your delicates in the kitchen sink weekly, and if you use a bean filled door worm to catch cold drafts at the foot of your door, you might be an Atavist.

LD
 

Miss Neecerie

I'll Lock Up
Messages
6,616
Location
The land of Sinatra, Hoboken
reetpleat said:
If you really love women with black hair and bangs, high heels, bullet bras and fishnet or seamed stockings, but you are not a sub,


Caveat: This might also make one a 'rockabilly', especially if one has actually captured such a creature for dating purposes, it makes it very likely you are indeed a 'Rockabilly, or other 'billy'
 

reetpleat

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,681
Location
Seattle
If you find yourself admiring the Amish, Orthodox Jews, and Black Church folk, not for their spiritual comittment, but for their hats...
 

Viola

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,469
Location
NSW, AUS
If by "recycling" your jam or pickle jars, you mean scrubbing them out and keeping dry goods in them, you might be an atavist.

If you are saddened by the fact cars have more plastic than chrome, you might be an atavist.
 

LizzieMaine

Bartender
Messages
33,715
Location
Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
If you hang a sheet between your neighbor's side of the yard and your garter belts when they're hanging on the clothesline...

If you know every store in a ten-mile radius that sells Fels-Naptha...

If you have a ball of twine the size of a softball in your junk drawer...

If you could hold off a burglar with your can opener...

If you're on a first-name basis with the shoe repair guy...

If you've ever spoken out loud any of the following phrases: "I'll tell the world!" "Check and double check!" or "Ahh, go sit on a tack!"...

If you wonder how anyone could have thought it would be a good idea to marry Artie Shaw...

If you keep licking the backs of those stupid peel-n-stick postage stamps...

If you regularly *buy* postage stamps...

You might just *possibly* be an atavist.
 

reetpleat

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,681
Location
Seattle
LizzieMaine said:
If you hang a sheet between your neighbor's side of the yard and your garter belts when they're hanging on the clothesline...

If you know every store in a ten-mile radius that sells Fels-Naptha...

If you have a ball of twine the size of a softball in your junk drawer...

If you could hold off a burglar with your can opener...

If you're on a first-name basis with the shoe repair guy...

If you've ever spoken out loud any of the following phrases: "I'll tell the world!" "Check and double check!" or "Ahh, go sit on a tack!"...

If you wonder how anyone could have thought it would be a good idea to marry Artie Shaw...

If you keep licking the backs of those stupid peel-n-stick postage stamps...

If you regularly *buy* postage stamps...

You might just *possibly* be an atavist.

great ones. And all from your life I am sure.
 

Viola

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,469
Location
NSW, AUS
If the only way to get you out in public in your pajamas is if the paramedics have you on a gurney...
 

Lady Day

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
Messages
9,087
Location
Crummy town, USA
If you walk more than a block a day because youd rather.

If you havent bought a loaf of bread in 6 months.

If you go to the library.

If you pay by paper check.

If you refuse to use grocery store 'discount' cards :rage:

If you take the bus.

If you buy yeast by the half pound.

If you make your own simple syrup.


LD
 

LizzieMaine

Bartender
Messages
33,715
Location
Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
If you think there is no sandwich that can't be improved by a dollop of Durkee's Dressing...

If the first time you saw Woody Allen you thought "hmph, he stole all that stuff from Oscar Levant..."

If your first impulse when you see a pimple starting is to eat a cake of yeast...

If your first impulse when you burn yourself is to reach for the butter...

If your first impulse when you cut yourself is to reach for the iodine...

If the only pair of pants you own zips (or better yet, buttons) up the side...
 

Forum statistics

Threads
109,096
Messages
3,074,034
Members
54,091
Latest member
toptvsspala
Top