Who wrote the book on motherhood?

[ShortClara]

So... I'm getting older and my lady parts are drying up I'm sure

I read about things before I attempt them - I had 3 books on kittens before I adopted a cat. So I figure I should read about motherhood and pregnancy before I attempt either. I am wary of this thing, and have never gotten that 'OMG I must procreate!' feeling, but I figure I better just jump in before my eggs go away. Not that I don't want to be a mommy, but I'm scared, maybe you understand. My mother tells me she wasn't really into kids before she had one, but after if was wonderful, so I figure I might be the same way. I have an amazing hubby and it's funny, I always think in terms of he'll be an amazing daddy and won't that be great, rather than I'll be such a great mom. But then he tells me I'll be great he's sure... so... well I've just really overshared! So help?!

So, can anyone recommend any books which laid out the process with some happy humor and great information which after the fact you (the mothers on the board) thought - boy that was sure true!?

Thanks!

 

[Josephine]

Well, I would stay away from the What to Expect books, I find them trite and condescending (a question I thought should be in them was "Can the baby hear the voices in my head too?"; some questions were that inane). But ones I do recommend are the Dr. Sears books. He and his wife and his sons have a whole range starting with pregnancy and babyhood and toddlerhood.... etc.

I'm afraid I never read any of the humor motherhood books, so I can't offer up any titles in that genre.

 

[Kitty_Sheridan]

I hate self help books, particularly ones to do with being a 'wo-man' and 'nurturing the inner you' blah blah....

My son is 12 now and really cool.


I think you have a wonderful attitude and don't need some phoney book telling you what to be/how to think.

Eat well, everything in moderation and enjoy!

Good luck!
K

 

[The Shirt]

Oh Honey - let's have our girlie parts dry up together!
I feel for ya. I just keep thinking of the Dr. Spock book that Nick Cage toted around in Raising Arizona. Da#@! - now that song is in my head "weee-ewh oh wee-ewh".

 

[ShortClara]

I hate self help books, particularly ones to do with being a 'wo-man' and 'nurturing the inner you' blah blah....

My son is 12 now and really cool.


I think you have a wonderful attitude and don't need some phoney book telling you what to be/how to think.

Eat well, everything in moderation and enjoy!

Good luck!
K

You're sweet! Really I just want to have knowledge so when odd things squirt out of new places or somesuch, I know it's supposed to happen and it's not some horrible mistake

 

[ShortClara]

Oh Honey - let's have our girlie parts dry up together!
I feel for ya. I just keep thinking of the Dr. Spock book that Nick Cage toted around in Raising Arizona. Da#@! - now that song is in my head "weee-ewh oh wee-ewh".

HA! Get me a toddler Hi!

 

[Caroline]

Not that I don't want to be a mommy, but I'm scared, maybe you understand.

Well I know I for one was very scared of the physical aspect of giving birth, so if this is you, I would read up on it (in books, not the web please - seems to be a hypochondriac's playground, as are the "What to Expect" books to some degree). Once I understood how the female body works with the whole process, well, it was reassuring. Then of course my eldest little girl decided to be breech so out went the natural birth ideas...lol

My mother tells me she wasn't really into kids before she had one, but after if was wonderful, so I figure I might be the same way.

I was certain I was too selfish and unorganized for kids, but then something just clicked and suddenly I was down with the idea. A lot of things contributed to my total 180 degree switch from "never" to "right now" but, in short, having kids was the best thing I ever did.

So, can anyone recommend any books which laid out the process with some happy humor and great information which after the fact you (the mothers on the board) thought - boy that was sure true!?

I found a lot of good info in The portable pediatrician by Laura Walther Nathanson. Not overly serious except when it needs to be, and it covered many areas that I would have never considered. Covers from birth to age 5.

I hope that helps!

 

[Paisley]

Just for laughs, you might want to read Mommy Knows Worst by Jim Lileks. It's full of Golden Era advice on parenthood:

• Don't hold the baby too much
• Put oil on the baby and set her in the sun

 

[Lady Day]

Do you want to have kids or do you feel you need to have kids?

LD

 

[ShortClara]

Do you want to have kids or do you feel you need to have kids?

LD

Erp... little from column A, little from column B. I do want to have them. In a vague lovely way. I wish my career were more what I want it to be really before they come, but time - it's a bitch. I don't want to debate that though KWIM?

 

[Shearer]

Twenty-first century mums!

Before you go Amazon.com route and pay for a book that may have you rolling your eyes, try looking at some blogs about parenthood!

Years ago, when I was a student I did a research project on infertile parents who were blogging about trying to get from point A to Baby. Lots of very candid people out there who dealt with the nitty gritty aspects, but with some really funny humour. Blogs are good, cause you can find all types... single parents, adoptive parents, people trying to conceive, women detailing their first pregnancy, etc.

Not only are these the types of authors I think you're looking for ("Me, a mother? But I still watch cartoons!"), but the writing quality is stellar... some of them really should be published.

Buy all the anatomical books and then go read blogs about what it's really like when your precious, ookie baby barfs into your coffee mug

Dunno if I should post the blog addresses here, but if you think you might be interested in this, send me an email and I'll set you on the right track!

 

[ShortClara]

I am a Dooce addict, Shearer - do you read her? I e-mailed you Great idea.

Heather on the Dooce blog makes me feel like I could actually be good at and enjoy this whole growing a foreign person in my belly thing

 

[Shearer]

Oh, and you could always borrow this:

I found it very insightful lol

 

[pigeon toe]

You should really watch Ricki Lake's documentary "The Business of Being Born". I found it on google video, or you could probably rent it from Netflix.

It's really enlightening about the way women's bodies work and how medical intervention (aka, giving birth in a hospital setting) is very often not necessary and actually can be harmful. I found myself getting a little teary-eyed when the mom's featured gave birth, and I don't see myself having kids anytime in the near future. However, the fact that women's bodies are capable of giving birth is an amazing and beautiful thing.

At the same time though, it doesn't make anyone less of a woman if one can't have children or chooses not to. It's a HUGE decision with tons of different things factoring into it. No one should have children because they feel it's a duty. A lot of women are happy being aunts without needing to have their own kids. I have no idea what I would like in the future, but if I happen to be 40 all of a sudden and never had kids, obviously it happened for a reason. Adoption is always an option as well.

 

[Joie DeVive]

I took a Women's Studies class in college about reproduction and childbirth, so I got all of this from the horse's mouth so to speak. We had doctors, midwives, doolas, and a host of others as guest speakers and I learned a lot.
Might your local college, community or otherwise have something similar? Or how about Kaiser (if you have it), or your local hospital?

If you prefer the book route, don't forget about your local library! You can borrow tons of books, and if you hate one, you don't own it!
And while it isn't about pregnancy, childbirth or even the first years, I highly recommend Last Child in the Woods to all parents and prospective parents.

 

[Lady Day]

Ive thought about this a lot. Im one of those women who is completely indifferent to motherhood. I have no desire to have children.

Im curious, as a woman, of carrying a child and giving birth, but wouldnt have a kid just to satisfy that curiosity, how selfish would that be?

Ive been around kids all my life, and have no inkling to rear any.

People tell me, "Youre only 30. Youll change your tune when youre 35."

No, dont think so. Its not a biological clock thing. Having children is not a cornerstone in the foundation of who I am (ooh got all metaphorical there).

If it came to it, Id adopt. I never thought blood relation was the strongest link for family anyway.

Just my musing on the topic.

LD

 

[Minerva]

A little more info might be helpful, ShortClara.

How 'crunchy' are you, normally? Are you convinced you'll die without the epidural? Will you be breastfeeding once you have the baby? Do you work or will you home with the little one?

I'd rather not make unwelcome suggestions if you're planning to hand the little one over to a nanny at birth and have him or her trotted out at mealtimes. (No, that's not a hypothetical -- that was the plan of my ex-sister-in-law. And yes, that was the reason she's now an 'ex'. Sad but true.)

 

[Ada Veen]

Jamie Oliver's* wife wrote a book on motherhood - I haven't read it, but it had rave reviews, and is apparently funny and warm-hearted.

My mum said she was very honest. One of the things she advised was apparently (squeamish stop reading now!) that she had a water birth, and got a child's fishing net to scoop all the poop and gak out of the pool!










*do people outside the uk know who he is?

 

[Paisley]

People tell me, "Youre only 30. Youll change your tune when youre 35."

LD

I'm 39 and haven't changed my tune. I'm more Baroness Shraeder than Fraulein Maria: motherhood isn't up my alley.

 

[The Shirt]

I love Jamie Oliver. He's on my list and i'm stuck in the US midwest.