Walking Into The Past...

[jayem]

Sad story, but recently my friends next door neighbor was forced into a nursing home in California. She was 98 years old, mobile, active, but lived on her own. The family had her pack a little trunk of her belongings and had her leave anything else behind. They auctioned off all the valuable antiques, but all the other things, they literally told us "Oh, go ahead and take what you want. We're just going to dump it anyways." Walking into her house (which, by the way, we found out was built and designed by her and her husband in 1939) was like walking into a time warp. I don't think she owned a single modern appliance other than a TV. There were boxes filled with old chemicals (including some now-poisons like Ephedra and Arsenic, even old heroin vials **her husband was a chemist and hypnotherapist**). This woman kept EVERYTHING including pretty much her whole life's wardrobe, steam trunks filled with hats, gloves, photos, letters, valentines cards, Christmas cards, dance cards (I snatched up one from a 1926 high school ball)... just everything you could ever imagine. Luckily, I was the same sizing as her All the clothing and shoes were all kept in air-tight storage bags and containers and are in almost perfect condition. My friends are more of 40s, 50s girls... and I'm more of 20s and 30s so I snatched all those era goodies. Not to mention, she kept every Sunday Tribune from the time WWII started, to the day it ended. I just find it so sad that the family wouldn't even want to LOOK through anything not deemed valuable, since I'm sure this woman saved this stuff for a reason other than to collect money. It's so sad to see how people just love to through away history.

 

[Tomasso]

I just find it so sad that the family wouldn't even want to LOOK through anything not deemed valuable, since I'm sure this woman saved this stuff for a reason other than to collect money. It's so sad to see how people just love to through away history.

Why do you assume that the family hadn't already conducted an thorough inventory? Having been in the family's situation I've found that the reality is that it's not feasible to keep everything. Family members pick and choose what they want to keep as remembrances, then freinds, then neighbors and then you donate the remainder.[huh]

 

[NoirDame]

I think we can keep this a polite thread. No need to yell at anyone.

It's good that you found so much stuff and will give it a good home. To me, the saddest thing is when people want to throw away military medals from a family member. After all, they risked their lives to protect their country and their families.

 

[Tomasso]

I think we can keep this a polite thread. No need to yell at anyone.

Are you inferring that I'm yelling?



This is yelling!

 

[jayem]

Why do you assume that the family hadn't already conducted an thorough inventory? Having been in the family's situation I've found that the reality is that it's not feasible to keep everything. Family members pick and choose what they want to keep as remembrances, then freinds, then neighbors and then you donate the remainder.[huh]

We were there when they went through everything. I don't want to get too deeply into the situation, but for a fact, we witnessed that they didn't even care except for $$$. Even when approached with old family photos of the womans mother, grandmothers... she said "Yeah you can have them."

They also threw out medals.

 

[KY Gentleman]

It seems strange that they wouldn't value these things.
I think though that not everyone holds these things as dear and as history but just objects they need to "deal with". To each his own, but I have many things I would call heirlooms that I really treasure.

 

[dhermann1]

Shakespeare said it

"How sharper than the serpent's tooth it is To have a thankless child"

 

[Story]

Sad story, but recently my friends next door neighbor was forced into a nursing home in California. .

If Alzheimer's has not set in and she's within a reasonable distance, you can always go visit her and get her to tell you her stories first hand.

We can't chose our families, but we can chose our friends - no matter what their age.

 

[BegintheBeguine]

It is sad. My beloved brother, when I called to ask him to send me the letters I wrote to him, about which his wife raved made her feel like she was there, so I could write an article about the old punk days, informed me he threw them away when they moved from Storrs to Savannah. Obviously it wasn't because they were taking up too much room. I haven't had the heart to ask him what the real reason was.
Ashley

 

[Paisley]

Actually, I can sympathize with the family wanting to get the house cleared out, especially if they live out of town. They probably have responsibilities and a houseful of stuff already. Also, an estate sale company won't deal with a mess: boxes of old chemicals, newspapers, etc. While some of the belongings sound like a treasure, a lot of it does sound like what most people would regard as a bunch of junk.

My brother died a few months ago, and his widow is selling most of his belongings. What is she going to do with a lot of old tractors and parts and other stuff--pay to store them? As his widow, it's her business, and hers alone, how she disposes of his estate.

My sister died a few years ago, and our sister and niece were rummaging through her things like vultures before she was even dead. Now that was disrespectful. :rage:

 

[jayem]

If Alzheimer's has not set in and she's within a reasonable distance, you can always go visit her and get her to tell you her stories first hand.

We can't chose our families, but we can chose our friends - no matter what their age.

No, she wasn't senile in any way. The woman still drove! I would always see her in the summer doing her gardening, as nimble as a 20yr old. The family, I'm assuming just wanted the money. They sold the house to a contractor. That will be tore down, no doubt. Such a shame. Anyways, she's not in reasonable distance since I'm in Chicago.

When going through that steam trunk, I found a Sunday Tribune marked Nov. 19, 1938. Inside was a pressed rose. When I read the envelope it was stored in, it was the date her daughter was born, and the roses at Evelyn's (the womans) bedside table. I wish I knew he address, so I could at least send her that... especially having found out her daughter died of cancer when she was 30.

 

[LocktownDog]

If Alzheimer's has not set in and she's within a reasonable distance, you can always go visit her and get her to tell you her stories first hand.

We can't chose our families, but we can chose our friends - no matter what their age.

Excellent suggestion. :eusa_clap

 

[Fletch]

I just find it so sad that the family wouldn't even want to LOOK through anything not deemed valuable, since I'm sure this woman saved this stuff for a reason other than to collect money.

That, right there, is something most people can't understand. To her family, sadly, she was probably just a failing old pack rat, her mementos a pathology.

It's so sad to see how people just love to through away history.

Unfortunately, though, always looking forward and never looking back are part of what makes us Americans.

 

[K.D. Lightner]

I am curious as to how, if the elderly woman still drove, was lucid and fairly independent, she was "forced" into a nursing home.

If it was assisted living or something, I could see it, but a nursing home for an agile elderly person? WHY??!!

karol

 

[Fletch]

Sadly...maybe the collecting was enough.

 

[Twitch]

I hope when they said they were "going to dump it" that meant to a Goodwill type facility. The write off they would get by donating it would be enormous!!!

 

[Dr Doran]

At least someone who cares now has the stuff.

 

[K.D. Lightner]

if collecting was the criteria for being put into conservatorship, probably a goodly number of FL members would be in nursing homes. Certainly I would.

There has to be more to it than that, legally they cannot force someone into a nursing home against their will, or perhaps she agreed to do so.

Curiouser and curiouser...

karol

 

[jayem]

I am curious as to how, if the elderly woman still drove, was lucid and fairly independent, she was "forced" into a nursing home.

If it was assisted living or something, I could see it, but a nursing home for an agile elderly person? WHY??!!

karol

She was lied to !!!
They told her she was going to stay with family 'just for the winter'.
But I don't know... maybe she agreed to once she got there? I guess since Evelyn and her husband were so into hypnosis and hypnotherapy, the granddaughter told her, since she was so miserable out in CA to 'will herself to die'.

I'm not making this sickness up.

 

[Tomasso]

To me, the saddest thing is when people want to throw away military medals .

They also threw out medals.

Well that cinches it, the family is evil.