Too Much Class?

[happyfilmluvguy]

While reading the newest issue of Classic Style a couple minutes ago, an article had me thinking. Was there ever a situation, whether in general or in the vintage atmosphere, where the moment was too overwhelmed with class? I'm 21 years old, so yes, I am young. I enjoy the night life and the loud establishments, the counter cultures. I don't give a damn where I am as long as it's safe, I'm having fun, and out of trouble. Call it responsible youthful activity. But sometimes I like to sit back in a classy bar, restaurant or building, and I feel important, respectable, civilized, well dressed, but not above anyone else. I could walk up to anyone and greet them as if I've visited the place for years.

Situations happen. Not always the good ones. When I do sit in this elegant atmosphere, I sometimes get the feeling it's just too ritzy. Too dazzling. I don't want to feel on top of the world, rich down to my socks. Civilized it is, but even that can become too much. I grew up in heavy metal and punk clubs, but I wasn't a partier. Sometimes loud atmosphere makes you feel alive with the place. Everyone laughing, cheering, really enjoying themselves. But other times it's just too much. I want quiet. Where to go? A classy place? It's an option, but with every waiter being too polite, every guest at room tone, almost as if you're the only one there, it gets uncomfortable. Sort of like the poor man/woman character in a movie being given the star treatment. In the end they escape the high life and goes back to their own.

So my question is there ever a time or was a time for you in which there was too much class?

 

[Maj.Nick Danger]

No! Definitely not. There can never be too much class in this day of too little class.
I never was one for loud noise of any kind, even if it was music I liked. I'd much rather be able to sit and relax and have a pleasant conversation. Nothing I hate more than having to scream into someone's ear in order to be heard, and vice versa.

 

[Jack Scorpion]

I was raised on the downtrodden side ... and a lot of friends had it even worse. I grew up in a state of rebellion against a lot of what is considered "classy." So, yah, I would say that most of the time, I do back away from that.

 

[MrNewportCustom]

I'm a bit like both of you, my feline-connected friends. Downtrodden, as with Jack, but also like Maj. Nick. I sometimes blast a favorite tune, but never to the annoyance of others. When I go out, I prefer a quiet setting that is conversation-friendly.

There can never be too much class. I just hope to someday have a bit I can call my own.


Lee
____________________

"The cat, of course, said nothing." - Kinky Friedman

 

[TheKitschGoth]

One of my friends decided to go for afternoon tea at the Savoy a while back, and there were a few of us sat there just looking and feeling so uncomfortable. We relaxed eventually, but it wasn't something I was used to at all. It didn't help that we were being glared at by a few people there (quite a few of us were pierced and tattooed - but we were all dressed smartly and weren't behaving badly)

 

[Baron Kurtz]

Depends what you consider class.

Snobbery and the desire to exclude "the riff-raff" is often mistaken for classiness. See dress codes . . .

bk

 

[Tango Yankee]

I think that the idea of "too much class" depends upon what you've become accustomed to and this is borne out by the comments thus far. Most people are a bit uneasy when put into a situation with which they are unfamiliar, even when the type of venue is reversed from what is being discussed here. I cite one such example in the Classy Restaurant thread BK referred to. Familiarity breeds comfort (to modify a phrase.) Interestingly, the general reaction to either situation often seems to be one of feelings of contempt mixed with superiority.

The idea of comfort level has been touched on in various discussions in the Lounge. In the end it seems to boil down to becoming familiar enough (through exposure) with such situations, or with wearing suits/hats/formal wear to the point where you are relaxed in the situation. An oft-cited example is a photograph of several of the great actors taken on a New Year's Eve. All are in white tie, IIRC, and are relaxed and comfortable in their clothing and the setting.

So no, I don't think there's such a thing as too much class, except when measured by our own personal yardsticks--and those, of course, are highly subjective.

Cheers,
Tom

 

[Tango Yankee]

Depends what you consider class.

Snobbery and the desire to exclude "the riff-raff" is often mistaken for classiness. See dress codes . . .

bk

BK, what do you consider class?

Tom

 

[Baron Kurtz]

Treating everyone who comes through the door of an establishment with friendliness and respect. Independent, let's say, of what they're wearing, or how many tattoos or piercings they have.

Classy would be an abandonment of the petty amateur profiling that allows an establishment exclude someone based upon their fa?ßade.

Exclusion is never classy.

bk

 

[Tango Yankee]

You can turn someone away with friendliness, respect, and politeness.

Respect, however, is a two-way street. Showing up at a venue where there is an expectation or requirement of a certain level of dress and conduct while dressed below that level and expecting or demanding to be allowed in regardless shows a definite lack of respect for the owners and workers of the establishment and the environment they are working hard to create, and of the other patrons who are there to enjoy that environment.

It would show the same lack of respect if a group of patrons, properly dressed for the venue, say a quiet dining room, were to get drunk, loud and obnoxious. It would not be a lack of respect should the management require them to leave.

Establishing and enforcing rules for dress and conduct is not a lack of class, nor is it an act of exclusion. The would-be patron has a choice--dress and act according to the rules and be allowed in, or not. It is the patron's choice.

Go the other direction. If you visit a nudist colony that has the rule that, beyond a certain point, you may not wear clothing at all or not enter they are saying in effect that they do not allow facades at all, but it is still up the the visitor whether or not to stay and comply or to leave.

Cheers,
Tom

 

[Fletch]

Too much class – as in real class, but also as in snobbery – would apply to the clubby culture of the effete superrich during the Depression years and their narrowly defined (but elegant) choices amidst a world of affordable (to them) options. Music: Cole Porter. Drink: Champagne*. Couture: Chanel. Suits: Prince of Wales. What else is theah, my deah?

Much of all this was admirably sophisticated, but always lurking nearby was the specter of what Porter's crowd probably would have called p!ss-elegant.

*capitalization as per The New York Times and beaucaillou.

 

[happyfilmluvguy]

A scene that comes to mind is in "Sunset Blvd" where Joe Gillis feels unease with living with Norma Desmond. Being pampered and served by her butler makes him a bit uncomfortable. He wants to do things on his own. The scene where he escapes her home on New Years Eve and goes to Schwabs for comfort. He feels more at home. So it does have to do with what you have been weened on. I don't like too many things being done for me, the reason being it feels like a selfish act. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but for me personally, it is too much.

 

[Sefton]

I know lots of people who never let a necktie touch them...who wouldn't know who Cole Porter is (and wouldn't care either) and yet I'd say they have plenty of class. There's a difference between Class and just being stuffy.

As to that other topic brought up here;I have no problem with an establishment having a dress code. I seldom come across any that do anyway (at least not here in flip-flop/ball-capifornia!)

 

[pigeon toe]

I don't suit classy situations well at all! I can be polite, and well-groomed, but I will always knock over a glass of water, trip over myself and laugh way too loud.

I was raised to know how to eat in fancy restaurants and how to behave in classy places, but to me it has associations of schmoozing and things like that, which I'm not very comfortable with. I prefer to be able to act like myself.

Also, the fact that I know my boyfriend is very uncomfortable with "classy" situations that involve schmoozing and talking to others where there's the feeling of being judged (whether it's a reality or not), also makes me dislike it. His nervousness makes me nervous!

 

[gluegungeisha]

I usually get caught up in the opposite situation -- I feel like I don't fit into a situation because it LACKS class. This mostly happens at parties and similar social engagements...I'm perceived as stuck-up because I won't get drunk, or insist on a clean environment. It's frustrating! I'm very accepting of most people, but I strongly value dignity and respect. I only feel completely comfortable at parties and shows when I feel that everyone is respecting their environment, their host/ess, each other and themselves.

However, I definitely feel out of place in many "classy" situations. My main issue is that I'm often looked down upon because of my age, no matter how well I clean up and how polite, articulate and respectful I am. [huh]

 

[be_lovely]

Observation

I believe that there is a time and a place for every situation. Having Class doesnt always mean you have to be 100% correct in your manerisms and gracefulness, but it is good to watch your P's and Q's wherever you are.

I had to take Etiquitte classes when I was 13 because I was a tomboy to an extent, and my grandfather who is a diplomat, was about to be transfered to Washington DC with the German Embassy, so my mother was terrified that I would totally ruin the welcome dinner had I not taken the course. I took the course, really learned alot, and since, I have been able to pull off any social situation with grace, and poise.

However, I think that if you are always kind, and respectful, and gracious to the hosts and others around you, that is class in itself.
There is never more of a turn-off than someone who is obnoxious, slovenly and rude. Everyone should know right from wrong in public situations. In your own home, its different, then you can be as obnoxious as you want.

Just my observation.

 

[happyfilmluvguy]

Kindness, respect, and graciousness I definitely feel define class.

I think the observation I was originally stating was mostly atmosphere, but class goes further than that. People can still be respectable in their own way without the mannerisms and poise. That's where I feel comfortable. Too much" yes sir, no sir, thank you sir, it was a pleasure assisting you sir, come back again sir" makes me feel uncomfortable.

 

[Feng_Li]

I don't think I'd do well in a situation where I received too much assistance. I don't like to be too idle. I'm the horrible houseguest who insists on helping with the dishes and such.

I've been in situations where I felt very out of place due to the sheer sense of money, but I don't think that's quite the same.

Of course, it took me quite a while to get used to being called "Mister" when I started teaching school...

 

[BegintheBeguine]

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave" makes me feel most uncomfortable.
No, but really, I hate fake nice. "Oh yes ma'am right away ma'am you have a great weekend ma'am." I work with someone who's fake nice. Ugh.
Jeff: "She belongs to that rarefied atmosphere of Park Avenue:
Expensive restaurants and literary cocktail parties."
Stella: "People with sense belong wherever they're put." I agree with Stella.

 

[Miss Brill]

Depends what you consider class.

Snobbery and the desire to exclude "the riff-raff" is often mistaken for classiness. See dress codes . . .

bk

Yup. Snobbishness is insecurity, IMO. People trying to fake it.