The Wifely Duties

[jamespowers]

I have friends who spent the first year of their marriage living in the woods in a teepee. That's too atavistic even for me.

:eeek: Sounds like: :hippie: lol lol

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

A teepee works for me!

 

[jamespowers]

A teepee works for me!

Man, you better paint that black car before it rusts away.

 

[sheeplady]

I think she went a little overboard though. The wife never waxes the door mouldings.

My grandmother cleaned her closets every week. Took everything out, scrubbed them down, and repacked them. Every single closet. She also cleaned the entire basement, including moving the washer to wash underneath it, once a week.

the idea must have been that a woman was not complete until she married and had a man to look after.

Sadly, I know people who still believe this- to the point that ANY marriage is better than being single.

 

[LoveMyHats2]

A teepee works for me!

Hey what in the world?? That is my blue chevy parked there, who took this picture? Geez, peeping toms everywhere..(sigh).....

 

[Black Dahlia]

:eeek: Sounds like: :hippie: lol lol

Please...don't bring the hippies into it! Noooooo
X
BD

 

[PoohBang]

who's trolling now...?

 

[LoveMyHats2]

My grandmother cleaned her closets every week. Took everything out, scrubbed them down, and repacked them. Every single closet. She also cleaned the entire basement, including moving the washer to wash underneath it, once a week.



Sadly, I know people who still believe this- to the point that ANY marriage is better than being single.

I have to say this, with some note of being serious and no humor.

My Wife is such a blessing to me. In our Marriage I have had medical issues from having MS that most would have run from, not her. I have had some really bad issues with my heart and perhaps hold a record for having serious heart attacks, she is still hanging in there and dealt with anything tossed at me, or at us as a couple.

I would not allow her to ever feel as if she must clean anything in our homes, or to be left to do something I am not willing to do myself. If anything, I welcome the one to do things that are needed to be cleaned, or anything in home cleaning. In fact, we both desire many things to be hand washed, I do that. I do all the ironing, I am actually better than most gals at it, so why not?

I clean the floors as I am fast and good at it, why not? I do the dishes, the same reason. She can do them, but why should I place her into a "conformed" role in our household? She does so much each day as it is, for the "us" that takes place within the home and relationship.

I think each person just needs to find the reason they are together, and cherish it. When I see someone "keeping score" about who does what, in a relationship, something is already very wrong, (in my opinion) and what ever it is needs to be fixed.


If I was keeping score in my relationship with my Wife, I would gladly say, Wife 1000, me ZERO. What else could I do, but to give her that, as I am already sure, role reversed, with a warm smile, she would do the same in return.

 

[C-dot]

Sadly, I know people who still believe this- to the point that ANY marriage is better than being single.

Which I think is terrible. Marriage is not the answer to your problems, it requires constant work from both people, much more than a person with self esteem that low can handle. On TV, Rhoda Morgenstern was a great example. I'm not surprised her marriage crumbled, what with her constant needling and "relationship talks" and bouts of insecurity.

 

[LizzieMaine]

It isn't just marriage, either. I know gals -- young women mostly, but some my age or older -- who can't function if they aren't "in a relationship." They get hooked up with some no-account bum just for the sake of having a "guy" and end up frustrated and upset and hurt when things blow up, and then they just go right on ahead and do it again, grabbing the first apple out of the barrel without bothering to check if it's rotten.

I thought "modern women" were beyond this sort of thinking. Seems not.

 

[Pompidou]

It isn't just marriage, either. I know gals -- young women mostly, but some my age or older -- who can't function if they aren't "in a relationship." They get hooked up with some no-account bum just for the sake of having a "guy" and end up frustrated and upset and hurt when things blow up, and then they just go right on ahead and do it again, grabbing the first apple out of the barrel without bothering to check if it's rotten.

I thought "modern women" were beyond this sort of thinking. Seems not.

Some guys are the same way - for what it's worth. I guess there's some kind of self validation and increased status from being in a relationship, and some people crave the proof in their arms at all times. Maybe the presumption is that if you aren't taken, it's because you can't be (through some deficiency of your own).

 

[LizzieMaine]

My recently-deceased aunt had the right idea. Her husband died in 1972 and she never felt the need of another one. "I need to do that again," she said, "like Custer needed the Sioux."

 

[C-dot]

It isn't just marriage, either. I know gals -- young women mostly, but some my age or older -- who can't function if they aren't "in a relationship." They get hooked up with some no-account bum just for the sake of having a "guy" and end up frustrated and upset and hurt when things blow up, and then they just go right on ahead and do it again, grabbing the first apple out of the barrel without bothering to check if it's rotten.

I thought "modern women" were beyond this sort of thinking. Seems not.

You just described very accurately many females I've met, and one in particular that I was good friends with. We became friendly because we had things in common, but I grew tired of every conversation being about the next guy, and of the hysterical late night phone calls when her new romance went dramatically sour. Barely a week would pass between boyfriends sometimes, and each time, she was convinced that he was "the one." While she dated him, she wouldn't give me much bother, but when he dumped her, I'd have to pick her up again. That's too much for anyone to handle, and one reason why I am choosy of female friends.

 

[LoveMyHats2]

You just described very accurately many females I've met, and one in particular that I was good friends with. We became friendly because we had things in common, but I grew tired of every conversation being about the next guy, and of the hysterical late night phone calls when her new romance went dramatically sour. Barely a week would pass between boyfriends sometimes, and each time, she was convinced that he was "the one." While she dated him, she wouldn't give me much bother, but when he dumped her, I'd have to pick her up again. That's too much for anyone to handle, and one reason why I am choosy of female friends.

If this may be taken well as a compliment and only in a very positive intention, many people (me included) are really not mentally and emotionally mature enough, to have any business being in a involved relationship or marriage until the age of about 30 to 35 hits. Now I am NOT picking on anyone younger than that, and if someone is married and having it good is younger than that, so be it, happy for ya. I just think it is not life or death to beat yourself up into having a relationship at such a young age. Good things come to one with experience and maturity. So...my care expressed to anyone on the topic, give life a chance to happen...and it will. Let nature takes it course....no relationship is way, way better than a rotten one.

 

[AtomicEraTom]

I know a lot of guys and gals like this. There's nothing wrong with being on the hunt, but there's also nothing wrong with being comfortable with being on your own. I've been single since December and while I'm on the lookout for someone new, it's not gonna make or break me. Eventually it'd be nice, but it's not something to define yourself by. I see many friends of mine with a new S-O on a regular basis. That's just too much gosh-darn work.

There's folks on the other end of the spectrum, though. My best friend hasn't had a girlfriend in a couple years now. He just goes around finding women to 'have a good time with' no strings attached. I don't think too highly of that, either. It just seems disrespectful. He spends a lot of time in bars and strip clubs and people ask how the heck two people who are so different can be best friends, but I digress.

I personally like the idea of a stay at home wife. My mom stayed home until my dad got hurt and she was forced to go back to work. In the world today, it's not feasible, at least I think, unless you're very wealthy. I'm not a rich man, so if I ever have a Mrs, she'll be working, unfortunately.

It isn't just marriage, either. I know gals -- young women mostly, but some my age or older -- who can't function if they aren't "in a relationship." They get hooked up with some no-account bum just for the sake of having a "guy" and end up frustrated and upset and hurt when things blow up, and then they just go right on ahead and do it again, grabbing the first apple out of the barrel without bothering to check if it's rotten.

I thought "modern women" were beyond this sort of thinking. Seems not.

 

[Pompidou]

I know a lot of guys and gals like this. There's nothing wrong with being on the hunt, but there's also nothing wrong with being comfortable with being on your own. I've been single since December and while I'm on the lookout for someone new, it's not gonna make or break me. Eventually it'd be nice, but it's not something to define yourself by. I see many friends of mine with a new S-O on a regular basis. That's just too much gosh-darn work.

There's folks on the other end of the spectrum, though. My best friend hasn't had a girlfriend in a couple years now. He just goes around finding women to 'have a good time with' no strings attached. I don't think too highly of that, either. It just seems disrespectful. He spends a lot of time in bars and strip clubs and people ask how the heck two people who are so different can be best friends, but I digress.

I personally like the idea of a stay at home wife. My mom stayed home until my dad got hurt and she was forced to go back to work. In the world today, it's not feasible, at least I think, unless you're very wealthy. I'm not a rich man, so if I ever have a Mrs, she'll be working, unfortunately.

I've heard more than once that the secret to a successful marriage is having as much away time as you possibly can - and a two income household certainly facilitates that.

 

[PoohBang]

I've heard more than once that the secret to a successful marriage is having as much away time as you possibly can - and a two income household certainly facilitates that.

I think the secret to a successful marriage is finding the right partner. Every single person I know wishes they had somebody. Even a guy I know who's been a bachelor for 60+ years has finally found the right girl, and is getting married and couldn't be happier.

 

[AtomicEraTom]

I would imagine a lot of it comes down to the couple. My parents, even before my mom worked, were ALWAYS together whenever they could be. I think a relationship like that could be nice, but not necessary. Space works for me, too.

I've heard more than once that the secret to a successful marriage is having as much away time as you possibly can - and a two income household certainly facilitates that.

 

[LoveMyHats2]

I think the secret to a successful marriage is finding the right partner. Every single person I know wishes they had somebody. Even a guy I know who's been a bachelor for 60+ years has finally found the right girl, and is getting married and couldn't be happier.

True. I do agree with what you state, and yes, finding the right person is very much a part of it.

I think, (my opinion based only by my own history) it is not easy to be single if you want to be married. Now the problem you face, is, who is that right person for me, and how do I find her? (well if you are a Gal, find him)???

It may be more natural for anyone in general, to desire to have someone in their life, to be in love with and perhaps marry. I know I wanted that in my own life and was willing to undergo the normal "make a mistake" ordeal a few times, but eventually I got it right, and WOW it was so very worth it all. I also do find it is hard but better to not be in any relationship then to be in a rotten one.

 

[PoohBang]

True. I do agree with what you state, and yes, finding the right person is very much a part of it.

I think, (my opinion based only by my own history) it is not easy to be single if you want to be married. Now the problem you face, is, who is that right person for me, and how do I find her? (well if you are a Gal, find him)???

It may be more natural for anyone in general, to desire to have someone in their life, to be in love with and perhaps marry. I know I wanted that in my own life and was willing to undergo the normal "make a mistake" ordeal a few times, but eventually I got it right, and WOW it was so very worth it all. I also do find it is hard but better to not be in any relationship then to be in a rotten one.

totally agree... Being in a rotten one is just a festering thing that will someday explode. If you find the right person, and I really don't think it's that tough.

I think people are made to fall in love pretty easy, and if you fall in love with someone with similar views and ideas as you do, it would take a lot to break that up. The biggest problem most single people have (of the ones I know) is having this "Ideal" vision of what the person that's right for them is, all the while missing out on when the right one comes along.