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The Era -- Day By Day

FOXTROT LAMONT

One Too Many
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St John's Wood, London UK
Forgive my ignorance but how did Harold Teen make Petty Officer Second Class during his very brief time in (thus far)? I know there's a war on and that advancement in some of the services can be rapid, but hasn't he been in for less than a year?

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Harold I've not been much keen on and so outside strip and all his rank ties specialty is my guess,
but Elvis made buck-luck-f..k serjeant inside conscripted peacetime service in Germany.
Lillums seems a swell lass.:eek:
 

LizzieMaine

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("A cat stuck in a chimney," marvels Sally. "Anna supeh puts a kid down'eh t'save 'im." "Siddy wouldn' do t'at," declares Alice. "He'd go downeah'rimself. Siddy's a friend t'awl animals. 'Cept f' rats, he's on'y got whatchacawl a noddin' acquaintance wit't'em." "I can't t'ink of Stella eveh goin' downa chimney," muses Sally. "She's got too many brains f't'at. She knows when she's well awff. She'd r'at'eh sleep on Joe's ovehrawls." "She mus' be havin' a hawrd time of it," observes Alice, "since he been gawn." "Um," ums Sally, "no, see, Joe's ovehrawls is still wheah t'ey was when'nee slung 'em oveh t' bedroom chaieh las' time he took'm awff." "You ain' put'tm away?" gapes Alice. "You ain' even wash't'm? In two mont's?? You jus' leave'm layin'eh?" "Well," protests Sally, "I *couldn'* do t'at. Stella sleeps on'm. I wouldn' wanna take away 'eh bed. It'd be inhuman!" "Ah," nods Alice. "Ah.")

Allied forces controlled the major portion of New Britain, Japan's main holding in the Bismarck Archipelago, today, as an estimated 40,000 enemy troops were believed to be preparing for a last stand only 60 miles from Rabaul, big base at the northern part of the island. A spokesman from Allied Headquarters stated that the Japanese have lost 10,000 men since the initial landing by U. S. Marines at Arawe on December 15th, as they retreated thru New Britain, cut off from all outside supplies and subjected to constant aerial attack from nearby bases in the Solomons as well as heavy ground pressure.

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("Men who conduct themselves in a military manner," reads Uncle Frank, "are mooch more respected boi the Garrrman captors than those who do not." "Hmph," hmphs Ma. "Michael's naaht aboot t'put on no show for no Garrmans, Oi'll tell ye thaat mooch. Th' day nevarr will daaahwn when he bends a knee t'th' loikes a' them." "Mickey don't bend a knee," chuckles Uncle Frank, "unless it's in th' loine a' warrrk!" "That's enoofa that now," growls Ma. "What toime did ye say th' boys warr goin' t'be here with th' troock? They got to get aahl that stoof outa th' back room be'fore we get back fr'm th' zoo. An' Oi want ev'ry bit of it gaaahn, if Oi foind s'much as a slick nickel lyin' ahhn th' floor Oi'll lay th' booth of'm oot in lavendarr!" "Ye needn't worry, Nora," reassures Uncle Frank, "they'll get evr'ything oot an' ovar to th' warehoose b'fore ye even know they been here. But Oi still think ye'rr ovarreactin', ahhl that investigation stoof is just farr show. Doyle told me..." "Oi told ye," snaps Ma, "Oi don't want t'hear noothin' 'bout Doyle. Doyle will sing loike a hinge th' minute they put th' screws to 'im, an' if he sings aboot US, they ain't gonna foind NOOTHIN. That is t'say if thim two spalpeens a' yoors do loike they bettar!" "G'amma!" interrupts Leonora. "Coun' nick'ls!" "Ahh," nods Uncle Frank. "Ye want th' boys should put HARR in the warehouse too?" )

In Hollywood, Captain Dan Topping of the U. S. Marines holds a firm claim on the One Punch Boxing Championship of the film capital, by virtue of an almost uncontested victory over Errol Flynn. Topping's triumph punctuated an Easter and birthday party given in honor of his wife, movie ice skater Sonja Heine, but neither Topping nor Flynn, nor any of the various onlookers, would say what led up to the bout. Topping, the owner of the Football Dodgers, is known for his quick punch, having last prevailed in a nightclub bout against Pat DiCicco, husband of heiress Gloria Vanderbilt, and Flynn, after recuperating from his defeat, merely suggested that perhaps "there was some bad ice in the drinks." Miss Heine, an expert on ice, declined to comment.

Wendell Willkie, who withdrew last week from the race for the Republican presidential nomination, declared yesterday that he will not endorse any other candidate prior to the GOP convention this summer. He also stated that he reserves to himself the right to decide whether he will support the party's eventual nominee. Willkie further indicated that he will, between now and the convention, release a statement concerning his own views and recommendations for the Republican platform. Friends of Willkie have stated that he will not participate in any "stop" movement intended to foil the candidacy of any one individual, but also say that Willkie will, in time, "say what he thinks."

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(Eight "Red Ryder" movies this year? Will Sidney Greenstreet recreate his comic-strip role?)

Women are taking their places in wartime work -- even in the circus! This year's edition of the Ringling Brothers-Barnum & Bailey Circus, now playing at Madison Square Garden, features more than a hundred women, including sixty "girl aerialists" who put on a dazzling "Cloud Ballet" while dressed in spangled bras and shorts.

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(Quid Pro, meet Quo.)

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(Tommy Brown will "turn 17 in December." In other words, he's barely 16. Are you sure he can stay up late enough for night games?)

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(MASSIVE INTERNAL INJURIES.)

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(Why not head on down to the pawn shop, I bet you could find some swell uniforms there.)

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(Exactly what do you DO in the Army, anyway?)

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(Once you get into it, it's kinda fun!)

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(YEE HAWWWW!)
 

LizzieMaine

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And in the Daily News...

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Skelton's not the brightest comedian in the business. Never cheat on your head writer.

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Steamed beets? NO THANKS.

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Wacky misfit roomies! The gags write themselves!

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Sometimes it feels like Mr. Gray is just trolling us.

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Little early, isn't it? Ever hear of an April frost?

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Love's Young Dream.

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Sittin' in the catbird seat.

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HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA: Lil once had a crush on Poison, much to Harold's dismay, and it led to a violent showdown on the football field. So yes, by all means, let's hear your grand idea.

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Really, I think "Laughing Boy" ought to have his own strip.

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NOTHING SINISTER ABOUT THAT
 

LizzieMaine

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("Yeh," says Sally, pausing in the first-floor foyer on her way to work. "Docteh Minkoff tol' me awlabout t'is Clinic f' Gifted Chil'ren, but I dunno, sendin' Leonoreh t't' City ev'ry day... I mean, my Ma's against it, an' wit' Joe inna soivice...." "A problem." acknowledges Mr. Ginsburg. "A problem, however, with a solution, I suggest. Perhaps if I could..." "Aw," aws Sally, "I couldn' 'spec' yeh t'do t'at, ride t' subway oveh t'eh ev'ry day at yawr age..." "My age," chuckles Mr. Ginsburg. "What good is living this long if you can't do something worthwhile, something worthwhile with your time? A child like Leonora, she needs opportunities, she needs an education. My own children, they got an education, your child, she should get an education." "Yeh," acknowledges Sally, "but, I mean, she ain' even t'ree yet..." "And next year," notes Mr. Ginsburg, "she'll be four. And the year after that, she will be five. And so on. Age is not the question, the question is what will you do with the time?" "Yeh," nods Sally. "Look, Joe's gonna be home on leave nex' week -- we'eh gonna tawk t'is oveh real good, an' he's gonna meet wit' Docteh Minkoff 'imself, an'nen we'eh gonna make up oueh minds. An' we'll letcha know, OK?" "By all means," declares Mr. Ginsburg. "You and Yussel. Talk it over. Think it over. And then decide. Your daughter's future, remember. It's coming." "Yeh," nods Sally. "Fasteh'r'n we t'ink.")

Incomplete and unofficial returns from Nebraska show former Minnesota Governor Harold F. Stassen holding a 2 to 1 lead over New York Governor Thomas E. Dewey in the state Republican presidential primary election. Governor Dewey, who declined to allow his name to be officially placed on the Nebraska ballot, ran second to Stassen as a write-in candidate, but ran far ahead of Wendell Willkie, who withdrew from the race last week, too late to have his name stricken from the ballot. Meanwhile, a Presidential preference vote among Republicans in Illiniois found General Douglas MacArthur the overwhelming winner, even though he declined to officially endorse his placement on the ballot, nor did the state Republican Party support his candidacy. Only one other candidate appeared on the ballot, former boxer Riley Bender, who mounted only a desultory campaign and received negligible support.

The question of Vice President Henry A. Wallace's politicial future was raised today by the brief announcement that he plans to visit Chungking, provisional seat of the Chinese Nationalist government, in late spring or early summer. While no exact date was named, political observers were quick to note that the trip might find Wallace out of the country when the Democractic National Convention begins in Chicago on July 19th. ALthough it is expected that President Roosevelt will be nominated for a fourth term at that convention, it remains an open question whether Wallace will be selected to join him on the fall ticket. Wallace has been campaigning actively in recent weeks to retain his position, making speeches from coast to coast. It has been reported without confirmation that the idea for a Wallace trip to China originated, not in China, but in the United States.

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("There ye go, Nora," says Uncle Frank, pushing a small brown envelope across the counter. "Three tickets farr t'marrow's ballgame. Compliments of a friend. You aaaand th' children have a splendid toime, get ye moind off things." "Ohhhh yes," sighs Ma. "Oi've been lookin' fahrwarrd t'this." "Oi'll be bound," chuckles Uncle Frank. "Will ye wear ye bobby socks?" "Moind ye business, Francis," dismisses Ma, tucking the envelope in a secure location. "Aaat yarrr age," needles Uncle Frank, "swoony ovarr that ridiculous croonarr!" "Ye mind yaar toong, Francis Leary," snaps Ma. "I don't care a button for that Sinatra." "Ahhhh," smirks Uncle Frank. "Not a BIT," continues Ma. "Ye know full well who I'm lookin' forwarrrd t'seein'!" "Oh, Nora," moans Uncle Frank. "He's a foine figure of a man," grins Ma. "An' a gentleman too. Ahhh, me good friend Mr. Fitzsimmons!")

The Eagle Editorialist frowns deeply at recent Easter Parade photos showing a woman parading down the street with her dog, the two of them wearing matching hats. "All the populace is participating in the war effort with less than 100 percent effort," grumbles the EE, "when there is money to buy a dog a hat while the Red Cross goes begging."

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(Like brushing your teeth before you go to the dentist.)

Reader Richard I. Hussey, president of the South Midwood Residents Association, admonishes the Eagle for its crusade against the Brooklyn College Art Department, and defends college president Dr. Harry Gideonse for "raising the standards" of the school. "From the start," argues Mr. Hussey, "the articles have had all th earmarks of false issues, innuendo, and an attempt to foster accusations without foundation in fact." Reader Talbot Hamlin agrees, accusing the Eagle of a "smear campaign" against Prof. Serge Chermayeff, pointing out that, as the organ of the surrealist movement, "VVV" magazine belongs in the library of any college attempting to study modern movements in art, and that far from being Nazi affiliated, the Bauhaus was in fact one of the first institutions to be suppressed when the Nazi government came to power in Germany. Mr. Hamlin calls the campaign "unworthy of a paper with a reputation for forward-looking and high-class journalism like the Brooklyn Eagle."

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(Sigh. Fitz in 1940-41 was nothing short of a marvel, and it still hurts to think of him in anything but a Brooklyn uniform. I hope he goes the distance.)

Any plans Leo Durocher may have to play ball in 1944 will be in abeyance for at least six weeks, doctors say, as his broken thumb heals. The Lip, however, expects to have the splint off the fractured digit by Opening Day. It's the first broken bone he's ever suffered playing ball.

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(Powell and Lamarr? Won't Myrna be jealous?)

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(Settle down, Bill, she's out of your league. And who knew Mary reads comic books?)

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("Batty Man?" Jo reads comics too!)

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(Who's fault is all these gratuitous shots of Jane going up stairs?)

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("The other you?" I never would have imagined Mr. Stamm is an adherent of Jungian theory.)

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(WELL YOU'RE NO HELP)
 

LizzieMaine

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And in the Daily News...

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"They had real elastic in them too." War is hell.

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Actually, "The Hungry Spaniard" would make a great name for a hamburger stand.

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Paging Dr. Minkoff!

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What, no benzedrine?

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The Worm Turns.

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NO NO NO

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I'm sure he'll be happy you drove a nail thru the brim!

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"Well, they used to call him 'GLURRRRRRG' but nobody could remember how to spell it."

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Well, that's one way to embarrass your father.

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Oh, Elmo, you and your refined table manners.
 
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Location
New York City
"The Eagle Editorialist frowns deeply at recent Easter Parade photos showing a woman parading down the street with her dog, the two of them wearing matching hats. "All the populace is participating in the war effort with less than 100 percent effort," grumbles the EE, "when there is money to buy a dog a hat while the Red Cross goes begging.""

Step off the high horse just a little bit, EE.



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I. DID. NOT. SEE. THAT. COMING.
 

LizzieMaine

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Brooklyn_Eagle_Thu__Apr_13__1944_.jpg

("Happy boit'day, kid," greets Alice, as she and Sally descend the stairs into the 18th Avenue BMT station. "I was gonna getcha a presn't, but I wen' oveh't't drug stoeh anney was awl outa Lydia Pinkham's." "Ha ha," replies Sally, entirely without mirth. "My boit'day. Who wants t'be t'oity-one anyways." "Ahhh," replies Alice as they stand on the platform awaiting the train to Hudson Terminal. "I was t'oity-one oncet. Nut'n to it." "If you really wanna gimme a presen't," sighs Sally, "y'could absentee me f'm woik t'day so I c'n go t' t'bawlgame." "Sawry," pronounces Alice, "but as yeh supehviseh, t' wawr comes foist. B'sides, you don' ev'n like Sinatreh." "Ahhhh," exhales Sally. "It ain'nat. I jus wanna do sump'n -- nawrm'l, y'know. Go t'wa bawlgame. F'get ev'ryt'ing f'ra while. Did I tell ya Ma's goin', takin'a kids? I wisht I could go. But I guess it wouldn' be t'same wit'out Joe sitt'neh, tellin' me t'pipe down..." "He's gonna be home soon, 'nough," observes Alice. "Yeh," nods Sally. "Sunday. T'ree moeh days. He's gettn' in onna 12:24 at Penn Station." "Y'gotta go awlaway oveh t'eh?" frowns Alice. "Howcum he ain' comin' inta Flatbush Aveneh?" "Who knows," shrugs Sally. "Train ain' ev'n stoppin' n'eh. It's t'Awrmy. Whateveh. But me'n Leonoreh 'n Ma's gonna be t'eh, no'matteh wheh awr what time. We'll getta coupl'a houehs, 'n'nen Docteh Minkoff is comin' oveh t' meet Joe." "Sueh t'at'll be enough time?" snickers Alice. "We'll manage," declares Sally, as the train rolls in.)

American bombers, demonstrating growing Allied air power in the Pacific, swept Japanese air and naval bases along a 4000-mile front from northern Japan to New Guinea in a two-day offensive that carried the attack to within 1100 miles of Tokio, it was revealed today. Attacking from three sides of the Pacific, U. S. airmen struck the enemy from the Kurile Islands at the northern end of the Japanese Empire to the Carolines and the Marshalls in the Central Pacific., to New Guinea and New Britain in the Southwest. In consecutive attacks Monday and Tuesday, Liberator bombers from Aleutian bases hit Matsuma Island, 1069 miles west of Tokio, twice for the third raid this month.

In Great Meadows, New Jersey a farmer who had hired five Japanese-American laborers provided thru the War Relocation Authority has discharged those workers after a shed on his farm was burned under mysterious circumstances. Twenty-three-year-old farmer Edward Kowalick, who lives with his wife, daughter, and mother, announced that he had dismissed the laborers, stating "We can't sleep nights worrying about what may happen next." Word that the Japanese-American workers had arrived three days ago from the relocation center at Rivera, Arizona spread rapidly thru the town, leading to what was characterized as "an indignant meeting" of local residents. That meeting formed a "committee of 300," which warned Kowalick that if the workers were not sent away, "the committee would take action." The fire that destroyed Kowalick's shed was set while that meeting was still in progress.

Fourteen persons over the age of sixty, described as "senile old men," have been arrested in Mexico City in connection with a plot to assassinate Mexican President Avila Camacho and three high-ranking officials of his government. Mexico City Chief of Police Miguel Z. Martinez, in announcing the arrests, called the plot "ridiculous." The alleged ringleader was identified as a 70-year-old man, and the only weapons found were two old bombs, which Martinez described as too old to do any damage even if they did go off.

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(War Is Hell.)

Cash payments to unemployed veterans returning home after the war would supplement state unemployment benefits under a plan proposed by War Mobilization Director James F. Byrnes. "I think the most constructive approach to this problem," Byrnes commented last night at a meeting sponsored by the Academy of Political Science in New York, "is to supplement state unemployment benefits to the extent necessary" to provide for a "suitable transition" from military back into civilian life. Byrnes considers this plan more likely to be fair and equitable to all veterains than would the payment of a lump sum upon discharge. Byrnes also warned that the "war plant boom" is now ending. "We must realize that Santa Claus has gone," he declared, "that there are no more plants to distribute, but there are many more bills to pay."

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(But no paper bags. You'll just have to carry your fig juice home where everybody can see it.)

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("Oh, I wouldn't worry, they'll find something for Bob Hope to do...")

"Eagle Reader" writes in to suggest that what really needs to happen is that Brooklyn College should be changed into a hospital. "What an exceptionally good site to help the ill recuperate!"

A new "invasion gyro-compass" has been developed by Brooklyn's Sperry Gyroscope Company, the existance of which was a strict military secret until it was revealed a few days ago by the Navy Department. THe lightweight, shockproof, non-magnetic device is expected to be deployed aboard landing craft during the upcoming Allied invasion of Western Europe

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("G-em B-l-adees," reads Leonora, scanning the outfield wall. "L-i-fee-b-yoo-eeye stops B O." "Now don't get moostard aahl ovarr ye sharrt there," admonishes Ma, as Willie compresses a frankfurter into his mouth. "Look oot there," she continues, gazing out from her seat behind the visiting dugout. "Oh!" she shouts, sighting a familiar face. "Mistarr Fitzsimmons! Ovarrr here!!" "Well, hello," greets a bulky figure in a gray uniform. "Mrs. Sweeney, is it?" "Indeed," grins Ma. "It's good to see you again, Oi haven't fargaaten thoose boowlin' lessons y'gimme. 'Ahhlways faaaahlow thru!' Yarrr lookin' well, Mr. Fitzsimmons. Have ye laaahst a bit of weight?" "Awww," blushes Fitz, shifting bashfully from foot to foot, as coach Chuck Klein looks on with a snicker. "Don't tell noobody," whispers Ma, "boot Oi hope ye pitch a noo-hittar!" "Just for you," winks Fitz.)

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(Yeah, Bill, I wouldn't worry about that.)

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(It's a living.)

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("Tony, why are you wearing a slipcover?")

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(The Power of Positive Thinking.)

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(AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE HERO DOG learns the concept of a "calculated risk.")
 

LizzieMaine

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And in the Daily News...

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Maybe it's something in the water.

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Who cares, as long as he pays his bill?

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What, no salt water pool?

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Who ever heard of a plumber with a side job?

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This is what happens when you can't let go of childhood embitterment.

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He'll be running the place by nightfall.

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The look on the clerk's face says it all.

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Well, after all, they *do* get all the Real Elastic.

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YIKES!

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"Oh! Sure! And do I get to wear yours?"
 

LizzieMaine

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("Yeh," yehs Alice, "me 'n Siddy an'na Ginsboigs tawked it oveh, an' we wanna have whatcha cawl a welcome-home lunch f' Joe on Sunday. Nut'n fancy, jus' some col' cuts 'n' beehr'nawlat. Siddy's got it awl set up wit' Moskowitz's t'sen' oveh some stuff, 'n we can do it inna Ginsboigs' pawrleh. It'll be swell." "Ah," ahs Sally. "Right when he gets in, huh?" "Yeh," nods Alice. "We figyeh he might not get nut'n much t'eat onna train in, an' he'll prawbly, y'know, have'n appetite." "Yeh," agrees Sally. "He'll have'n appetite." "Whassamatteh, kid?" queries Alice. "Y'don' look excited." "Well," shrugs Sally, "I ain' seen Joe in two mont's, an'...." "Ah," nods Alice. "How 'bout we make it a -- late lunch." "Yeh," nods Sally. "A LATE lunch.")

Allied and German artillery traded heavy blows today along the main 5th Army front below Rome, it was disclosed today, while Anglo-American warplanes attacked Nazi rail and road lines north and east of the capital. With Allied offensive efforts apparently still concentrated against the Nazi army's communication lines, ground fighting on the major fronts was again limited to patrol clashes, and Allied headquarters summed up the day's operations in a nine-word communique: "Our patrols and artillery were active along all fronts."

A leading article in the April bulletin of the Kings County Medical Society reports today that "a great many Negro physicians" are unable to secure positions in local hospitals. The article notes that eighteen such doctors, graduates of recognizized medical schools who have already served as internes in approved hospitals, are members of the Society. The Society urges hospitals who can provide positions for these doctors to call STerling 3-6900 to make arrangements.


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(Go gett'm Hilda!)

A total of 33,116 men under the age of 26 remain available in New York City for induction into the Armed Forces, according to a survey prepared by local Selective Service Director Col. Arthur V. McDermott, and this number of men will be sufficient to meet the city's draft quota unti July 1st. That number includes a total of 9374 men now in classes 2-A and 2-B, deferred because of essential occupations, and these are already being reclassified as 1-A except for a very small number of irreplaceable men in key industries. Col. McDermott also noted that there are 1586 men under 26 in class 3-D, deferred due to extreme family hardship, and he anticipates that most of those men will not be reclassified. Of men over the age of 26, it is estimated that about 95 percent of those now deferred due to occupation will remain deferred once the draft resumes taking members of that age group.

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("Heh," snickers Alice. "I bet t'ey didn' t'row t'eh step-ins onna field!" "SHUT UP!" snaps Sally.)

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(She isn't wrong.)

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("Mistarr Fitzsimmons is a foine, foine man," declares Ma, as Uncle Frank eyerolls from behind his two-cents-plain. "Two parrrfect innings, and they nevarr even tooched 'im. Ye know, Francis, he used to drop boi here fr'm toime t'toime." "A bett'n man, eh?" snickers Uncle Frank. "Noombers aar th' harrses?" "None'v that," declares Ma. "Mistarr Fitzsimmons coom here b'cause he loiked me egg creams. He's from Indiana, he told me, aand they have noo sooch thing as an egg cream in Indiana." "An' ye say he's laaahst s'm weight?" queries Uncle Frank. "Indeed," nods Ma. "Guess they gaaht noo sooch thing," replies Uncle Frank, draining his glass, "in Philadelphia!")

A dissenting view was heard from a certain section of the crowd at Ebbets Field yesterday as Frank Sinatra raised his voice in song. As the crooner stood at the microphone, Brooklyn cap jaunty upon his head, and gave forth with a love ballad, the crowd began to chant in contempt "WE WANT CROSBY!"

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(That's show biz!)

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("All millionaires collect a few odd ideas with their money." Wait'll you meet a BILLIONAIRE.)

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(And wacky antics ensued...)

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(It's just that easy.)

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(AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE HERO DOG points out that he's already dried off.)
 

LizzieMaine

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Daily_News_Fri__Apr_14__1944_.jpg

Ew.

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"There's not a trace of inflation around his middle sector." SO THERE.

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ARE YOU CRAZY DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO GET A HOT WATER BOTTLE NOW?

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Fried Spam will do that.

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"When Good Fellows Get Together."

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The Path of Least Resistance.

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Gawdawmighty.

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Wait, before you go back to the hotel, be sure to douse yourself in liquor and cheap perfume.

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At least he's a nice, quiet tenant.

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These kids with their art projects.
 

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